I was floating between consciousness and somewhere much deeper in my head. I could hear the voices around me, but not react to them. Each word seemed to drift in through my ears and out the other side - I couldn't keep a grip on them. Trying to focus just made the space behind my eyes burn hot. Even attempting to open them was like battling through some sort of wall. Sentences scattered around my head, the sound like a record player skipping and scratching.

"What's …. to … her?... Lena? … take to … no … hospital? … Wake up …"

I was paralysed, unable to connect with any part of my body. It felt like I was trapped inside my own head, thumping at the inside of my skull for escape.

"Damn brat … No one's mad enough … love with you … tell that short-ass corporal … Who the fuck … you?"

Keep out, keep out, keep out. I don't want you in here. I don't want to see you again. Keep out, keep out, keep out. You're in my head again. Giants. Huge, grinning mouths. Deformed arms. Swollen stomachs. Blood on their hands. Blood on his hands. You're not the Levi I know. Stay away. Why am I seeing this? Where is this coming from? Why is your hand around my throat?

"WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?"

I gave in to the strange pull coming from under me. Hands reached around my waist and pulled me down, the sensation like sinking through battery fluid. My senses were assaulted by electric pulses, each one firing across to the next and setting off a chain reaction of bright sparks. My whole body jittered. The liquid felt alive and it swallowed me up, forcing me further under. The further I sank, the darker my vision became until all of a sudden, there was nothing left.

The blanket of darkness eventually became a bright white light. I laid peering up as the shadows were scattered away. Only a small haze remained right in front of me, obscure figures taking shape and colour. I was looking at a face. The shape of the skull morphed until it found its shape. The gloom of two eyes appeared slowly, beginning to settle. A pair of lips cracked the bottom of the face. The person became a woman, through the rise of her cheek bones and her large, brown eyes. Her nose was speckled with freckles, a few under her eyes too. A fan of hair haloed her, the colour identical to my own. Her lips … were blue and cracked. Now that the colours were settling, I could see the unhealthy paleness to her pallor, the dryness of it. And the freckles were not freckles at all – they were spatters of blood. Vacant, unmoving eyes looked through me. She was dead, and with a slow, breath-taking realisation, I saw that she was me. Staring back at me was my dead reflection.

I sat up.

"Lena!" Levi's voice was close by. My senses had been overloaded with information, too fast for me to process any of it. The first thing that returned to me was my body awareness. I could tell that I was sat upright on a bed, the mattress soft underneath my bum. I had no pain except for the aching in my head and chest. I had all my limbs. I felt a little queasy, and the soreness of my chest felt like I'd run a marathon in my sleep. The next thing to return was my sight and images began rolling in. I was in a bedroom. Levi was on a chair beside me, holding my hand. His expression was concerned, his brow twisted. There were two other people in the room. Finally, my memories settled and all the bits of information floating around began to click.

"I should be dead," I said, aghast. "How am I alive? Wasn't I eaten?"

"What are you talking about, Lena?" Levi looked different. He was younger than I remembered – an odd thought to have, as it was hardly like time could skip back. There were less bags under his eyes and his expression was easier, more relaxed, even despite the worry on his face. He was much taller, too, though of course this might have been an illusion from the way he was sat down.

"No, I remember falling …" I ran my hand down my thigh, feeling nothing out of the usual.

"You fell unconscious."

"Your chest is healed." I remembered seeing the flower of blood blossoming across his chest. "Just how long have I been unconscious?"

"My chest?" He looked down at himself and then back to me. His eyes were wide, pupils thin pricks in his brown irises.

"And where is this? Looks fancy." As I looked around, I finally recognised Mikasa and Eren. "You two are here as well?"

"Lena?" His hand squeezed mine tightly. I winced.

"What's happened, Levi?"

…

KURT –

My hand caressed Luann's bare arm as she lay next to me on the sofa. The lights were off, the curtains closed. We had been watching some film, not that either of us had paid attention for long. She had fallen asleep on my chest, breathing softly, her hair fluttering in front of her open lips. My attention had returned to her, trying to squish the excitement in my chest. How long had I wanted to hold her like this? It almost didn't feel real. Maybe now, she'd let me take away some of the burdens that suffocated her. She'd finally stop this madness, chasing after guys with cash. We'd solve the problem together. I didn't want to believe that anything would stand between us now.

My phone buzzed in my pocket and it was an effort to remove it with one hand without waking her. She was a relatively deep sleeper, anyway. I flicked the phone into my palm and unlocked it. There were a couple of missed messages. One from Guthrie in the group chat saying, Are you okay, Lena? He'd probably meant to send that on private chat.

Stein had replied with: Just her? Bros before hoes. What if I'm not okay?

Guthrie: How can you read this? I thought I tagged Lena

Stein: Never change, Guth

I tapped a response.

Me: I've never felt better, thanks for asking

I opened the private message from Guthrie, my only other unread notification.

Guthrie: Lena's brother and her dad are coming back

That explained the message checking up on her. She had always been on thin ice with her father and brother. Well, with her mother and younger sister, too. She was going through a difficult age.

Me: Ooh, nat good

Guthrie immediately responded.

Guthrie: Her brother is studying a masters

Me: That's really not good

Guthrie: Her mum just rang. She found out and blew up.

Me: That's really, really not good

Guthrie: And her boyfriend is really ill

Me: Well, fuck

Guthrie: I rang her earlier but she hasn't answered

Me: We might have to send out a search party [police siren gif]

Guthrie: She's not home. I don't know where to find her. Want to meet up?

Me: Sort of preoccupied, soz

Guthrie: With what?

I made sure my phone was on silent and captured a selfie with Luann, raising two figures in a peace sign. This photo could not be seen by anyone outside our chat. She'd probably end my life with her own hands if she found out.

Guthrie: Oooh, that's a new development

Me: Too early to celebrate

Guthrie: No celebrating on my end, she's still a bitch

Me: Harsh

Me: …

Me: But true.

Guthrie: I honestly don't know what you see in her

Me: She's broken but so am I. We'll work things out. Anyway, how's your love life, Virgin Mary?

Guthrie: Seriously, not funny.

Me: You had to move on at some point. It has been years since you started having a crush on her

Guthrie: I feel uneasy about her new boyfriend. I haven't heard anything good about him. And if he's ill, he's just going to be another burden to her. She's struggling as it is. He might be taking advantage of her good nature.

Me: What good nature? You're deluded.

He responded with the longest paragraph I'd ever received from someone of the same gender. I read the first few lines then skipped to the end.

Me: No need for the paragraph, Guth. I get the picture. We need to investigate.

Guthrie: Ava says she's not with her.

Me: She can look after herself. It'd be best to message Stein. Out of all of us, he's the best at smooth talking. He once got me to talk about that time in school I was hit on by a supply teacher and I never tell anyone that story. The man uses conversation as a weapon.

Guthrie: I remember that

Me: Well don't, it's creepy.

Guthrie: Anyway, where do you think she'll be?

Me: It's so obvious my friend

Guthrie: ?

Me: Seriously? Mate, sorry to break it to you but she'll be snogging her boyfriend

Guthrie: [angry emoji]

Me: I don't know what you're angry at but let it go, babe. Lena will need time to calm down. If you've messaged her, that's enough. I'll give her a ring later as well. And I'll call Stein and fill him in on the situation.

Guthrie: Shouldn't we look for her?

Me: absolutely not. BYE!

I tossed the phone onto the carpet. Other problems could wait for today. I rolled into Luann, being careful not to wake her. Even in her sleep she was scowling. There was definitely a conversation to be had between us, but I knew I had to be careful. She was as prickly as a cactus. In the end, I knew her better than anyone and I knew she was changing. She didn't want to be like this. From a young age, with her father a drunk fool and her mother in hospital, there were too many pressures on her. She was spikey to protect herself from the hands of others. We were both young. There was still so much for us to learn about ourselves.

It would all be fine in the end.

…

LENA –

I'd never felt cotton this soft before, never seen a room with such extravagant colours. The wood of the wardrobes was smooth and without a single blemish. There was something strapped to my wrist. It fit like it was designed to be there, but I couldn't make out a use for it. There was nothing written on it, no mechanisms clunking, no smell of a living thing or swish of water inside it. It was just a metal object. I lifted it, curiously. Numbers flashed onto the screen, startling me.

"Woah," I gasped, tapping it with my fingers. The numbers morphed and switched, various images scrolling through. I looked up with excitement in my eyes to ask Levi what it might be … but his downcast expression brought me crashing back into the room. The atmosphere was sombre. I couldn't understand why. I was alive; he was alive. That was all that mattered, wasn't it?

Maybe I had been in a coma. That would explain the strange technology that had developed in my absence, and possibly begin to justify Levi's depressed body language. And also, why he had grown because now that I checked again, he was definitely taller. Even his face seemed longer. How on earth …

"How am I going to explain this to your family?" Levi's face was in his hands; he couldn't even look at me. He'd long since let go of my hand.

"My family? Who?"

"Levi," Mikasa finally spoke, crossing the room to stand by him. "What happened? You need to explain it to us."

"I don't get it either." He shook his head, fingernails scraping his forehead. "Someone call Hanji."

Mikasa bared her teeth a little. She grasped Levi's shirt and yanked him onto his feet. "Don't say 'I don't get it'," she growled. Eren wasn't moving to intervene. "You call us over. Eren touches her. Now she's like this."

"I'm like what?" I asked and I could feel my head pounding.

"I told you that you shouldn't get us involved. Now look what's happened." Levi didn't fight back.

"Hey?" I stood, trying to separate them. "Explain to me what's going on."

"Take a little fucking responsibility for your actions, short-ass dip-shit. Don't just say, 'call Hanji' like that'll miraculously turn her back."

"Mikasa," Eren said, softly. "That's enough."

"How am I supposed to know what to do?" Levi slapped her hand away, desperation in his eyes. "I didn't know this was going to happen, did I? All along, I've tried to protect her from this whole thing!"

"Then you shouldn't have spoken to her in the first place!" Mikasa raised her voice, clearly vexed. "You didn't know it was going to happen, but you met up with her! You flirted with her! You got close to her, even though you knew something was wrong!"

"Mikasa, that's enough!"

"What the FUCK is going on?" I screamed at the top of my voice. The others were shocked into silence. My heart rate was high, banging in my chest. I didn't realise that I was sweating. "Levi?!" I begged him with my eyes. He barely held my gaze for a second, before looking away, his eyes hurt.

"Your memories are all wrong," Mikasa began. "You're going to tell me that you live in a world with huge giants that eat people, aren't you?"

"… what …"

"You're deluded. You all are. There are no such things. They don't exist."

"Pardon?"

"I don't know how this has happened, but Levi must have been telling you stories. He must have led you to believe this madness, and now you've tricked your mind."

"Mikasa, it's not a delusion." Eren seemed to take a step back.

"How can it be real, Eren?" Mikasa switched her attention to him immediately, her tone softening like she was speaking with a confused patient in a hospital. "No one else in this world sees what you see. You start telling people and like a disease, it spreads. People convince themselves that it's true."

"You … don't believe us? Mikasa, you don't believe me? You never said anything like this before."

"I wanted to believe you, Eren, but it has gone too far now."

"H-hang on," I stammered. "What are you saying? That the titans aren't real?" I noticed that Levi had sat back down again, collapsed into himself, knuckles so tense they were white. "Where am I?"

"This is Levi's apartment. Don't you recognise it?" Eren asked.

I couldn't keep track of any of this. I couldn't be awake. This had to be a dream. Only minutes ago, I had felt myself die. And now?

Who was I?