It was barely around two and Alfred had decided this day was going to be his. There was no kids in the living room which meant, if he was LUCKY… He could take control of the TV and launch himself into a marathon of 'Dr. Who' goddamn England getting him addicted to that crap.

Inching his way over to the living room, like the stealthy ninja assassin that he is… or at least pretends to be when he's alone. He barrel rolled towered the couch and leaped onto it. trying to fish around the couch cushions as he frowned and gazed at the TV.

Narrowing his eyes some as he went leaning back on the couch, trying to lift up his hips onto the table as he tried as hard as he possibly could to turn the T.V on with his toe. Tongue sticking out of his mouth some as he wiggled his big toe trying to reach it and groaned. Why didn't he have freakishly long legs like that commie basterd?!

Letting out a whimper of defeat he just laid there. Unable to find his remote and didn't want to get up and turn it on. He just gazed up at the ceiling some before he blinked. WAIT! He had kids! Grinning at how smart he was he went positioning himself back up right as he debated on who would be around at this time.

"Minnesota!"

He waited patiently for a whole FIVE seconds before he called out the states name again. Waiting a bit before he heard a sigh as he peeked over the couch to see the state. Arms crossed looking annoyed as he was chewing on a piece of gum.

"what is it dad?" he asked eyeing the other then at the TV as he frowned suddenly.

"Turn the TV on for me please?"

"…REALLY dad? Couldn't you have just used the remote?"

"But I cant find it!"

"or turn it on yourself?"

"…MY precious baby boy who I raised since he was still in diapers~"

Minnesota cringed as the other said that as he rolled his eyes and went to go turn on the TV. flipping through channels to try and find one that Alfred liked. which took about ten minutes considering Alfred was a TV addict and wanted his Dr who.. but got distracted when a marathon of 'America's cutest cats' was on...

"oh my god look!" he gasped as he pulled the boy down to him and pointed at the screen. "that ones so fluffy! doesn't it remind you of Americat?!"

"err... Fluffy?"

"yes, yes my sweet precious baby! ...Where is he anyway?" he blinked suddenly remembering he hadn't seen the poor thing all day

"last time I checked, Alaska had him... "

almost as if on cue a loud mew filled the house before the cat came running into the room. High tailing it to the large cat scratcher in the corner of the living room and climbing to the very top as its tail was fluffed out... but that wasn't the oddest thing. the cat was wearing a long pink very familiar looking...

"why does my cat look like Russia?!"

Alaska went coming into the room as he was holding up small paw sized mittens as he looked over at America and blinked. as if it seemed like an odd question as he went trying to fetch the cat down from its ceiling high eagles nest.

"its my turn for fluffy to come over, and I don't want him to freeze.. my winters get pretty cold dad, its why you hardly visit over there..."

"but he's completely covered in fur."

"meow!"

all three looked up as fluffy went swaying his tail and gave a heroic leap off the post, the scarf flying behind him dramatically as he landed.. paws first... right into Alfred's crotch making the nation cry out as he curled up instantly... and some where in the house a certain state suddenly whined.

"what the fuck?!"

He didn't know how it happened, or why he was involved in this... and feeling less then manly at the moment as he just pouted.. there he was, Alfred F Jones.. the super power of the world. Mr. badass incarnate who would punch your face in for insulting his football...

Was in a dress... A very pink sparkly princess dress. One that was SOME HOW perfectly sized up to fit him perfectly. sitting down at a small little kiddy table with a cup of imaginary tea.. Surrounded by three of his daughters. Maine, Rhode island and Hawaii. the girls were giggling happily amongst themselves as Alfred eyed the pink Disney princess cup he had.

Damn it, they even gave him Sleeping beauty, she was the most unheroic one of them all! he would have preferred repunzel, or even mulan! but that one was up to debate since he always considered her non princess but 'badass chick who could take names and fuck a bitch up'.

"daddy! you have to hold your pinky out when you drink tea!" Hawaii pouted staring up at him.

"I'm imagining its coffee..."

"imagine its tea or so help me, I will call up England!" Maine hissed

America whined as he extended his pinky out and took a small sip off the tea cup. Maine always had to be an English lover, he blamed that limey for it... he always came over and dotted on her.. he knew the basterd was only caring so she would give him discounts on seafood... he should leave a stinky fish right in England's back seat.

"Maine, I would like to borrow a fish-"

"we should put make up on daddy!" Hawaii squeaked as Rhode island went shaking her head.

"nah, daddy's to ugly for make up..."

Why did his daughters have to be so cruel to him? he gave them love, and affection.. and he was called ugly. hell he could pull off make up if he wanted too. well he could pull it off better then France could anyway.

"but daddy would look nice with lipstick! Even heard New Jersey say so!"

"...Don't listen to New jersey... he hasn't been the same since that one television show..."

the girls quieted and nodded in understanding, One does not bring up that television Series, it opened up a can of worms for new Jersey. Alfred just took a fake sip off his tea as he went slapping a hand on his cheek gasping.

"I'm out of tea! oh my goodness gravy. I need to go make more!" he said moving to get up, trying to make the great escape. if he wasn't wearing the puffiest and frilliest damn princess dress he ever had the misfortune of being stuffed in.

"we got a WHOLE pot here!" Rhode island giggled as her eyes narrowed, knowing he wanted to leave.

"err yeah but you know we need fresh tea... and I think England left some when he was here last time."

"I thought you tossed that tea in the toilet while Massachusetts was clapping his hands giggling like an insane person?"

the man frowned and hanged his head in defeat as he went sitting back down, just glaring at the table. He was going to kill china for making this tea set.. and he was going to drown England in coffee...

His great escaped coasted one state his manhood, New York would greatly be remembered... As Princess New York of lacey frilly dresshood~

Alfred had ditched the state with the girls as he ran outside and hid in the shed. Yes his lovely, lovely shed, one where he could forget all his troubles... Unless there was a certain capital in there that was doing the same thing...

"woman, what are you doing in my shed?" Alfred hissed as the identical doppelganger with boobs rolled her eyes.

"I'm hiding from Wisconsin..."

She went fixing the her hair some as her cowlick stood up with a faint limp, making Alfred narrow his eyes. only they both shared that interesting trait and Alfred know when she was hiding something from him..

"what did you do?"

before she could even answer, the door swung open and there stood Wisconsin. holding up a plate in his hand that held something orange on... oh dear god. Alfred paled as Washington D.C pushed him and made a run for it. Sacrifice the nation for the sake of the capital. that was her motto~

"come on W.D.C! don't be such a weenie!" Wisconsin glared as his eyes landed on Alfred as he held up the plate towered his nose. "try it dad! I know damn well its allot better then that crap France makes!" his chest puffed out in pride

All of America's senses went straight to hell as the assault of the smelly cheese had hit his nose. whimpering as he covered it up just eyeing the other as he bit his lip. it was vile, it smelled of Francis sweaty armpits mixed with a dose of Prussia's three day old dirty socks.. and just for kicks, a splash of vomit from England's cooking.

"I'm uhhh.. sure it is.. but you know... I just ate!"

the state narrowed his eyes and took another step, cornering the nation to the shed as he held the plate closer. eyes turning to slits as his upper lip curled into a mean smirk. Alfred was always hungry, he would never turn down a free meal.. He would even eat England's cooking if he was hungry enough.

"Try it, please daddy~"

Alfred whimpered as he went gulping, he was going to hate this.. his hand moving over as he went slowly picking up a small piece of toast as he scooped the stinky cheese up. bringing it up to his mouth as Wisconsin was looking eager, ready to hear words of praise and delight as Alfred took it in his mouth and paled.

Wisconsin would remember this day well... stinky cheese going down smelled twice as worse when it came back up...