(Hello, this is Mike. This is my test subject for uploading stuff on FanFiction, but that does not mean I won't add to this story. Don't know how often chapters will be added, but if you plan to read this, rest assured, when I'm not doing anything urgent, like work or some other junk, I will be working on this. I solemnly swear! Also, Pokémon and its affiliates don't belong to me. Only Mike, his insanity/stupidity, and some other OCs do. Enjoy.)

Sandgem Town, a small place where children of the Sinnoh region begin their days as Trainers. Though most of them are teenagers, they are children, nonetheless. It is through this phase that they learn to be self-reliant, among other things. This place is also where I live.

My name is Michael Hogrelius, but I prefer Mike. I used to be a Trainer myself, emphasis on "used to." I couldn't stand the fighting anymore, so after Barry and I stopped Cyrus and Team Galactic, I quit. That was four years ago, and since then, I've been working at a local office as a custodian, complete with jumpsuit.

"Mike~"

"What now, woman?!"

Ugh, why does she pester me? That infuriating, green-haired officer!

"So grumpy today!"

"What do you want?"

We were standing by my closet, me, her and a black officer.

"Mike, this is Davis, the new recruit and my new partner. Davis, this is the man," Jenny said.

Davis flashed a dazzling smile.

Dammit, not only is he handsome and fit, he's got great teeth! Wait a minute, why do I care?!

"Nice to meet you, man," he said, extending his hand. "Heard a lot about you."

I looked him in the eye and said, "Bad idea, pal. I survived Disaster Doyer, yet again."

Jenny groaned.

"Uh, what?" Davis asked.

"Doyer, redhead dude, talks funny? There's something wrong with him, because every time he comes out of the bathroom, it looks like a war-zone," I told him.

"War-zone?"

"Yeah, because of the blood."

Next thing I knew, he high-tailed to the bathroom. Hope Doyer wasn't in there.

"He seems nice," I casually commented.

"Did you have to say `blood'?!" she yelled.

"I could have said `hemoglobin,' but you'd be surprised how many people think that's some variation of a goblin."

She stared at me, practically fuming.

"You really can't be mad at me for not knowing how squeamish he is."

"Watch me," she growled, walking away.

"Alright, I'm sorry I made your boyfriend throw up!"

As soon as she stopped, I knew I was in danger.

"Dagnabbit, Mike," I muttered under my breath. About fifteen minutes later, she and I were having our ears yelled off by Commissioner Poss.

"Firing your gun inside the precinct, what the hell were you thinking?!" he yelled, his face vivid-red.

"Sir, if I may—," Jenny started.

"Stow it, you!" He glared at me. "You know, ever since you came here—"

"Crime rates have gone up? Morals and ethics out the window? Your life has become a living hell?" I suggested.

"No," he said, looking a little stunned.

"I got nothing, then," I sighed.

"Ever since you came here, you've been driving everyone insane!"

"Believe me, that hasn't stopped her from talking to me, sir. Especially after the enchilada."

"What enchilada?"

"You don't wanna know," Jenny and me said at the same time.

"Look, so Jen shot at me. She ain't the first officer to do that."

"Who was first?" he asked.

"Doyer," I answered.

"Excuse me for a moment."

He stepped out of the office, and once he did, I let out a big breath of relief.

"Was that true, what you told him?"

"Yes and no: he nailed me with a water gun when I wasn't looking, and let's just say I gave `rectum' a whole new meaning, with a nearby oar," I explained. "Come to think of it, that's probably why the bathroom is the way it is."

She giggled, which kind of scared me. "You're insane."

"And yet, for some very evasive reason, we're friends."

"Well, I don't know about you, but I'm out," she said, zooming out of the room.

"Wait for meee!"

"Ooh, this looks cute!"

Despite the fact that she's on-duty, Officer Jenny has the time to shop for clothes. Why can't she be more like Veilstone Jenny, who's always vigilant?

"Remind me why I'm here?" I asked.

With the popularity of Kalos clothing, Boutiques have popped up all over the regions, even in places like this. Usually, I'm not into fashion, but I have to admit, some of the outfits are badass.

"I don't know. Maybe you're in love in me, and you just don't know it yet," she said with a wink.

"I highly doubt that," I replied dryly.

She stopped looking at the miniskirt she saw. "Really, what's up with you?"

"Gee, let me think," I said in a high-pitched voice. "Maybe it has something to do with the rampant Nidoking in Floaroma Town!"

"Your point?"

"Are you not the least bit concerned about the fact he has not been apprehended?!"

"It's just a Pokémon."

"A Pokémon that raped five men and women!"

"Because its Trainer ordered it to."

Wow. This person, my friend (sort of), of all people, believes Pokémon to be nothing more than mindless creatures.

"How can you say that?"

"I don't really have the luxury to think of them as people, when I'm in the field."

"Oh, right," I murmured, looking down.

"… Maybe if we had a Psychic."

I shook my head. "Jacques is my only one, and I doubt he'll help. I'll ask, anyway."

Jenny smiled. "Knew I could count on you, Mike."

"Don't get your hopes up," I warned her.

I turned and left the shop, heading for home.

Figure I have some time. First off, I'm Mike, a twenty-two year-old American. I weigh two-eighty, but look two-thirty. I'm six feet tall, with brown, shaggy hair and eyes. When I'm not wearing this jumpsuit, I wear an oversized bright-orange dress shirt, unbuttoned over a faded orange A-shirt, baggy stony-gray cargo shorts (because I love shorts!), and sneakers the color of ash. Also, I wear these stellar goggles in lieu of glasses.

Second, yes, I said American. Kanto, Johto and all of them exist, but only in Japan. (Go figure.) However, this Japan is in another universe. I'm sure you can fill in the rest.

Anyway, third. For the pervs out there, Poképhilia is legal just about everywhere. If it wasn't, the WPL (World Pokémon League) would be in deep shit, considering most of them are Poképhiles. Am I one of them? No. I happen to be one of the few waiting for my soulmate. Truthfully, it doesn't matter to me who it is, though I prefer them to be female. Doesn't mean I'm not into that stuff. Hell, I love Beastmen. (What I call furries.)

All right, class dismissed!

It only took a half-hour to reach my house, since the Boutique is halfway between here and the police station, where I work, if you hadn't already figured that out.

My house is very different from the rest of the neighborhood. Whereas most of them are one-story high, it's triple their size, and had an old Victorian feel to it. Cheaper, too, due to this `curse' it has. No idea what it is, but I can handle it: I have magic charms from my earlier travels. This place is in good shape, and plenty of room for friends and strangers alike.

I stepped onto the deck and stopped at the door. Reaching into my shirt pocket, I pulled out a Pecha Berry and ate it in one bite.

"I'm home!" I called, going inside.

I was greeted with a yawn coming from my right. An Infernape was stirring on my couch. Don't worry; my furniture's fire-retardant.

"Hey, Kong."

The fiery monkey yawned again. "What time is it?" he asked.

"Almost seven."

Kong shot up onto his feet. "What?!"

I chuckled. "Kidding. It's a quarter to four." I shut the door.

He sighed. "Please don't do that."

"Sorry. Did you find out the problem with the truck?"

He stretched his legs. "Muffler had a hole in the pipe connected to it, but I patched that up. Probably gonna need a new carburetor, though."

"`Kay. You feeling alright? I haven't seen you nap in a while."

He reached up to the ceiling, then let his arms flop down. "Yeah, Luke upped his training a couple notches today, so it was tough. What doesn't kill you, right?"

"Right," I responded, looking in different directions.

Where is she? She's always the first one I see when I come home.

"She's in the basement with Luke and the others, in case you were wondering."

"Thank you. Dinner will be up in a couple hours, so you can go back to your nap if you want."

"Nah, I'm good. I'll follow you."

We walked down the hall from the living room, towards the basement.

Kong, my very first Pokémon. He's only a few inches shorter than me and easily one of the strongest of my crew, second only to Boss, when it comes to pure power. As a Monferno, his Rock Smash once cracked a Golem's shell, although he had to be rushed to the nearest Center shortly afterwards. Oddly enough, he knows some mechanical stuff, too, courtesy of one of the Professor's assistants. Pretty calm for a Fire-type, too.

Before we reached the bottom, I heard the roar of a crowd.

What the-?!

The basement is outfitted with workout equipment, with Pokémon in mind. In the center, where a lot of people were, is your standard ring. In it, a Lucario and a Hitmontop were having a battle. The jackal had no marks on him, aside from an old scar on his left side, while his opponent appeared to be winded.

"C'mon, Ace!" I heard a woman shout. "Show that mutt what you're made of!"

Did she just call Luke a mutt?

Yes, the Lucario's name is Luke. Believe me, not my first choice. It was the only thing he would respond to as a pup, that stubborn son of mine.

Ace flipped onto the point on his head and slowly rotated, picking up speed in a matter of seconds, before rushing Luke. Luke halted the Rapid Spin attack using his leg, countering by means of his Aura manipulation into the form of a mallet. One swing, and Ace was ringed out. When it was over and everyone left, I stepped into the ring, while Luke wiped his brow with a rag.

He noticed me. "Welcome home, Dad."

"Y'know, when you said you were having a few friends over—"

"Sorry about that. When I asked around for sparring partners, I didn't think there'd be so many people showing up."

I patted him on the head. "Don't worry about it," I assured him. "You haven't seen Heart down here, have you?"

He shook his head. "Mm-mm. Rai might know."

"OK, where is he?"

"Last time I saw him, he was in your room."

"Oy, alright, thanks." I turned to leave. "Don't forget, I'm here if you need anything."

He smiled. "I know, Dad."

Luke, my son. I received him as an Egg from Riley, and I must've taken good care of him, since he's Kong's size. His ability to fight is incredible, especially now, with his Aura. He helped me to win the Mine Badge, by beating Bastiodon as a Riolu. Good kid, but he could stand to take it easy on that training of his.

I reached my room, but the door was shut. I tried to open it, even though I figured it would be locked. It was.

I knocked on the door. "Rai, you in there?"

"One second!" Scurrying could be heard inside, then the sliding of a lock.

A Raichu opened the door. "Yo, what's up, Captain?" he asked in a somewhat squeaky voice.

I passed the threshold, and surveyed my surroundings. I checked the closet, under the bed, but didn't find a thing out of place.

"Something wrong, Mike?"

I looked at him. "Where is she?"

"Who?"

"The girl you were having sex with!"

"There's no girl in here."

I groaned. "Whatever, have you seen Heart?"

"Nope. Did you look upstairs?"

"Not yet," I admitted.

Before resuming my search, I told him, "FYI, the safe's a great hiding place, if you want to suffocate."

He cringed.

Can't hide anything from me, small fry.

Rai, short for Raikiri, is my best friend, in spite of the fact he's a man-whore and he pisses me off. That, and he's shady. Regardless, I know he's a good guy. He's definitely the fastest guy I know, and I've seen some speedsters in my day. He also has mustard-colored fur, whereas other Raichu are a dark orange.

Pulling down the steps for the attic, I figured I'd talk to Boss while I'm on a wild goose chase. To be honest, I am getting a little worried. Just my nerves.

It was dark, and it didn't help that the light switch seems to move whenever I come up here, which is more than I care to divulge.

"Oof!" I can never remember what's where. Should sell some of this stuff, or bust out my Eradicator. "Oy! Frack! Motherchucker!" Guess what caused this noise. "Oo-o-o-o-o-o-o-oh!" If you said, table to the scrotum, you get a gold star!

Suddenly, everything got really bright.

"AAAAAAAAAH, MY EYES! I CAN'T SEE!" I screamed, shutting my peepers and shielding them from further harm with my hands.

"Like you could see before," a sassy voice insulted.

I lowered my hands. "Good to see you, too… or not."

Even with all the spots I'm seeing, I could tell Heart hasn't been up here.

Well, best to cover all the bases.

"Have you seen Heart? `Cause I'm still blind," I said.

"No. You better have some treasure, if you want your junk to stay intact,"

I rummaged through my pockets, pulling out a silver coin and held it out in front. "Will this do?"

She plucked it out of my hand, then put it in her treasure chest. "Just barely, mind you."

"Understood." I strolled to the far side of the room and opened the shutters on the window. "Dinner's at six. Later!"

Boss, my eye-in-the-sky. There's a slight chance I spoiled her when I bought her some jewelry. Don't get me wrong: she deserved it, for her hard work. Then again, she is a Honchkrow. They just love their bling.

I jumped out the window.

"Wheee!" Luckily, I ordered a bale of hay for such a thing. Safely landing on it, I laughed. "Ya-cha-cha-cha, I gotta do that more often!"

Hopping out of the mound, I took small strides to the beach, where I saw an East Gastrodon, watching the waves. The salt water softly lapped at the sand and the sea slug's tiny feet. I stood by its side, looking out to sea.

"Hello, Slugga."

No response.

"Still not talking, huh? Don't suppose you could point me in the right direction?"

The wind picked up, bringing the scent of the ocean with it.

"Oh dear," a harmonious voice rung.

Huh?

I peered over my shoulder and saw a Roserade tending to a garden in the backyard. I smacked myself in the face.

"You went right past her, you idiot," I scolded myself. "…No, that should've been the first place I looked."

Dagnabbit, plot, you're persistent in messing with me!

"Thank you, Slugga." I went back to the house.

Slugga, eternal silence. She hasn't said one word, in the time we've known her. However, we have come to understand her, without vocal communication. I couldn't explain how, even if I try.

"There you are, Heart."

When she heard me, she looked up and gave me a warm smile. "Hello, dear."

All is right when I gaze upon your smile, my flower!

"I see you're taking great care of your flowers," I complimented her.

There was of a tinge of pink on her face, but she quickly looked away.

"May I join you in your task?" I requested.

Without facing me, she nodded.

I chuckled, kneeling down by her and beginning to work.

Heart, you and the others mean so much to me, but you, most of all. You see light in even the blackest of shadows. You have never hated anyone, and you never will. But…

I noticed a bloom on the bleeding-heart was a bit damaged. It made me think of those days, when I first came here.

"I'm sorry, Heart," I said softly.

"Hmm?"

"It must not be easy, putting up with me on a daily basis."

"I don't understand."

I gazed at her, my heart swelling with self-loathing.

"How do you do it? How do you and the others forgive me for being such a cruel, heartless—"

She suddenly wrapped her arms around me and held me in her own stare.

This warmth…

"That wasn't the Mike I know, the real Mike," she stated. "You were carrying a great hurt in here."

I felt a vine poke me in my chest.

"It locked away your memories, made you into someone you weren't. You're better than that. Never forget that. And if you ever do, I'll be by your side, to remind you," the rose finished, with a smile.

"Heart," I started. Something, or someone, climbed on my shoulder.

"She's right," Rai agreed. "I got lost in what she said, but she's right."

"But—"

"Would we have stayed if you were that guy?"

I was dumbstruck.

"Besides," he continued, jumping off, "it wouldn't hurt to believe in yourself more. You're pretty awesome… when you don't suck."

"Thanks for the praise," I said sarcastically.

"Dinner!"

What the flip? I was supposed to make dinner.

"Plan worked."

"You say something, Rai?"

"Not at all. Meet you inside!"

He dashed away.

"That little..," I growled.

"Easy, dear. Your blood pressure."

"I know." I took a deep breath. "This might take a while."

"Okay," Heart chirped. She walked to the house and went inside.

"… Heart, Rai, Kong, Boss. Luke and Slugga were spared from it, being that I got them after, but the person you met was the real me. I don't know how it happened, but I didn't have my memory, so I couldn't remember to hide my anger and hatred, and you bore witness to the monster underneath. This me, this is the one I want to be real. But he's too weak. One day, though, he will be strong enough to face the pain and sorrow around him and in his heart. Just wait."

I headed back in.

(That's it for now. Hope you enjoyed it, and feel free to comment. I could really do with some much-needed advice, so long as it's not the "You suck!" or "I hate ****" garbage. Don't really care for people like that. This is Mike, signing out.)