A/N Hello everyone! This is a Tiva/McAbby family fic. It's essentially a collection of one-shots about the families I imagine for them. My storyline breaks from the show around season four (see my fic Rules, Rules, Rules for the beginning of the headcannon) This chapter is kind of an introduction to my version of the DiNozzo family, and the next chapter will be the same for McAbby. Please see the ending Author's Note if you want a list of the kids. Thanks and please leave a review! I will take requests for future oneshots.

Rule 8

Tony couldn't keep his eyes off of Ziva, who was sitting across from him in the bullpen as usual. But, really, when could he keep his eyes off of her? He smiled to himself.

"Tony? Hello?" Ziva waved her hand in front of his line of sight. "You're zaning out again."

"It's 'zoning' out, Zi—va," Tony said, smiling as Ziva rolled her eyes. He started whistling cheerily, looking back at his computer.

McGee, hearing Tony's whistles as he came out of the elevator, asked, "Why are you so happy, Tony?"

"Oh, I'm just excited. I snagged a date with a beautiful woman tonight," Tony said cockily, locking eyes with Ziva.

Ziva raised an eyebrow, "Really?"

"How did you do that?" McGee asked, playing along with Ziva.

"I just told her how much she means to me," Tony shrugged like it was no big deal and stood up, coming around his desk, "how much I love her," he walked right over to Ziva, "and how lucky I am to have her," his voice got softer as Ziva stood up to meet him. They were standing mere inches apart. "And it doesn't hurt that she loves me almost as much as I love her," Tony added right before he felt a sharp smack on the back of his head.

"DiNozzo, it's bad enough Rule 12 went out the window, how many times do I have to tell you to keep it at home?" Gibbs asked, sitting behind his desk. McGee chuckled slightly and Gibbs rounded on him, "You're not out of the woods either, Tim. Don't think I don't know you just came up from the lab."

"Oh, c'mon, Boss," Tony protested as Ziva took her seat, "Tonight is our first date since Andrew was born."

"His name is Zachary, Tony," Ziva said sharply.

Tony turned back to her, "If you played fair then 'Andrew' would come first!"

"How exactly does one cheat at Rock-Paper-Scissors?" Ziva demanded.

Gibbs interrupted before Tony could say that if it could be done then Ziva would be the one to know how to do it. "I don't care what you call him, but for his sake, don't let him go by Jethro."

Ziva continued to glare at Tony, "I think that Zachary Andrew Jethro DiNozzo is a perfectly acceptable name for our son," she said.

Tony took her hand, watching her wedding ring play in the light. "I agree. I'm just gonna call him Andrew."

"Good, now that that's settled," Gibbs took a sip of his coffee before barking, "DiNozzo!"

"Yes, Boss?"

"Take your seat. Those reports will not write themselves."

"Yes, Boss."

~o0o~

When Tony and Ziva arrived at their small house, they were bombarded with the sounds of their girls giggling in the living room. Smiling at each other, they walked hand-in-hand into the room.

Their baby boy, Zachary, was in the arms of Ally, the babysitter. Their daughters, the fraternal twins Tali and Katie, were practically rolling on the floor consumed by laughter. Ally stood up when Tony and Ziva came in, but Tali and Katie did not notice their parents at first.

Ziva laughed slightly, catching her daughters' infectious giggles without even knowing what they were laughing at. "Hey, handsome," she said to Zachary, taking him from Ally. "What's going on?" she asked, nodding to the twins.

"It's too complicated to explain," Ally said, which Ziva could easily believe.

Tony, after greeting Ally, joined his girls on the floor, throwing himself down in the middle of them and tickling them as they tackled him. Ziva and Ally, actually quite used to this type thing, sat on the couch and played with Zachary, trying to outwait Tony, Tali, and Katie's antics.

Finally, growing tired of the never ending horseplaying, Ziva said quietly, "Tony, if you really want to go out tonight, we need to get ready."

Tony jumped up real quick, leaving Katie and Tali protesting. "How long is it going to take you?" he asked, responding to his daughters almost absentmindedly by picking them up so he had a girl on each hip.

"I don't know, but you need to pay Ally so she can go home. I'm sure Abby and Tim are expecting her," Ziva said.

"Oh, right," Tony flashed his signature grin apologetically. "Sorry, Socks," he said to Ally. He set Katie down on the couch and fished in his wallet one handedly. After a few seconds of Tony struggling to get out the cash, Ziva snatched the wallet from him and did it herself.

"Thanks, Mr. and Mrs. DiNozzo," Ally said as she waved goodbye to the kids and headed toward the door.

"How many times do I have to tell you to call us Tony and Ziva?" Ziva admonished as she walked Ally out. When she returned she was half surprised that Tony and the girls hadn't returned to their previous activities on the floor. Instead, Tony was actually being productive.

"Tonight your mother and I are going out," Tony was saying to Tali and Katie as Ziva came in. She stopped in the door to watch Tony crouching in front of where the girls were sitting on the couch.

"Where are you going?" Katie asked, her dark eyes inquisitive. Katie was definitely the most outspoken twin.

"Your mommy and I want to spend some time together, just us," Tony explained.

"What about us?" Katie frowned.

"You get to stay here with a new friend," Tony tried to sound upbeat.

"What about Ally?" Tali asked quietly.

"She couldn't stay tonight," Ziva finally spoke up, coming fully in the room.

"Then who's gonna play with us?" Katie asked.

"Well, you get a new friend," Tony repeated, still trying to get them excited. At this point, Tony was so desperate for some alone time with his wife that he'd force the kids to stay even if they hated the new sitter, but he'd prefer if they went along willingly. "Will you try to have fun for me? Please?"

Tali, always a daddy's girl, nodded.

"Alright, Tali May!" Tony whooped, "Got one! What about you, Miss Katie Ann?"

"Okay," Katie sighed dramatically, causing Tony and Ziva to share amused looks. In some ways their daughter was more like her Aunt Abby than either of her parents. Tony sent Ziva a victorious grin, with a gleam in his eye that amused her more than their daughter's dramatics did.

~o0o~

Tony came into his bedroom after putting his son to bed to find Ziva nearly completely ready. She was standing in front of the mirror when he came in. The sight of her in that little black dress caused Tony to completely miss what she said to him as he stood there. "What?"

"I said I'm almost ready," Ziva repeated, sliding a jeweled clip into her hair. She'd French braided it down her back. "What do you think?" she asked, locking eyes with her husband in the mirror.

"You look, well, you look beautiful, sweetcheeks," Tony said, coming right up behind her and kissing her neck. He wrapped one arm around her waist and used the other to pull the holder from the end of her braid. Ziva watched, amused, as Tony continued to kiss her neck and pull her hair all the way down. She opened her mouth to ask why he'd undone all her hard work when he interrupted her. "You look gorgeous no matter what, but tonight is about you and me and the way it was before the kids, and I want to go out with my wife they was she looked when I first met her."

"Tony, now my hair is a mess," Ziva said, sounding more perturbed than annoyed.

Tony straightened up, "So? I like it." He ran his fingers through her hair one last time and then went to get changed.

~o0o~

Ziva did end up wearing her hair down, but was quickly reminded why she'd taken to wearing it up more often when Zachary gave it a few good yanks when she was settling him back down in bed again. Tony had accidentally woken him up (of course) and Ziva figured she might as well say goodbye and goodnight while he was awake.

When she came out of Zachary's room she heard Tony letting in the new sitter and introducing her to the twins.

"Mr. Harriet, these are my twin daughters, Tali and Katie," Tony pushed them forward gently.

"Hi!" Katie said brightly. She tried to wave, but her sister was holding tightly to her hand.

Tony noticed Ziva, "And this is my wife. Ziva, this is Mrs. Harriet, the sitter."

"Hello," Ziva said politely. "Um, Tony, can I talk to you for a minute?" She grabbed her bewildered husband's hand and pulled him into the other room.

"Ziva, what is it?" Tony asked, sounding annoyed.

"Are we sure about this?" Ziva asked, running a hand through her curls.

"About what?"

"Leaving our kids with a complete stranger!"

Tony sighed. So that was what this was about. "Ziva, we picked Mrs. Harriet out together. She's completely certified and she's experienced." He put his hands on Ziva's shoulders, "They will be perfectly fine."

Ziva pushed a curl out of her face, "You really believe that?"

Tony led her into the living room. "Look," he said quietly.

Katie and Tali were on the floor with Mrs. Harriet, who was smiling and nodding along to a story Tali was telling.

"Tali is actually talking to her?" Ziva said, almost in awe.

"Do you trust her now?" Tony asked.

Ziva nodded sheepishly, "I'm sorry. I guess I overreacted."

"It's fine, because I'll be the one overreacting when they start dating," Tony said and grunted when Ziva's arm connected with his gut.

"They are only four!" she said sharply before going fully into the living room. "Give Mommy a hug," she kneeled and scooped Katie into her arms.

Tali, however, went straight for Tony. "Daddy, do you have to go?"

Tony glanced at Ziva, "Yeah, Maisie, we do," he said, using his special nickname for Tali.

"But you'll both have fun here with Mrs. Harriet, won't you?" Ziva added, giving both girls a kiss.

"Of course they will," Mrs. Harriet broke in.

After more goodbyes (and surprisingly no tears) Tony and Ziva finally made it out the door.

~o0o~

They made it halfway through a very nice dinner before they got the call. "Hello?" Tony answered, locking eyes with Ziva across the table from him.

"Mr. DiNozzo, I have never in my life—" a sharp scream blasted out of the tiny phone speakers, drowning out the rest of the sentence.

"Hello? Mrs. Harriet, is that you?" Tony asked, trying to hear over all the ambient noise. The panicked look on Ziva's face made him glad he picked up the phone and not her.

"Mr. DiNozzo!" There was a crash, "You must come home at once!" Before Tony could say anything, there was a click and the line went dead.

Tony did not even have to relay the contents of the call to Ziva. Within a half a second of the phone hanging up, she was on her feet calling for a check. She did not say a word to him until they got to the parking lot.

"Give me the keys, Tony," Ziva said through her teeth. There was a slight breeze blowing her curls around her face, and she looked very much like the old Ziva Tony first met. The dangerous Ziva.

"No," Tony said calmly, and Ziva's eyes flashed.

"Our children have gotten into who knows what. We need to get there as fast as possible."

"Then why don't you get in the car so I can drive us home?" Tony said, opening the driver's side and got in himself. After a second, Ziva slammed the passenger door.

Tony sighed inwardly. He'd been very afraid that Ziva would argue more. They did not have time to fight, but there was no way that Tony was letting Ziva be in control of a motor vehicle in the state she was in.

Ziva spent most of the ride facing out her window. Tony assumed she was fuming, but when they were about 5 minutes away from their house, she turned around and Tony could see that she was actually very upset.

"Hey," Tony reached over and tried to put his arm around her, but since he was driving it didn't quite work so he settled for taking her hand instead. "The kids are alright."

His attempts at comforting her actually had an opposite affect and now she glared at him, "How do you know? I know we shouldn't have left them with that woman!"

"Look, Zi, we took a chance. Neither of us could have seen that this would happen," Tony paused, "Although, they are our kids. We should have foreseen something."

Ziva smacked him, but she was smiling slightly.

~o0o~

When Tony and Ziva opened the door, instead of being greeted by the sounds of their children's laughter, they were met by Katie's shouts and Zachary's cries in the background. The absence of any noise from Tali was quickly explained when they rushed into the living room. Tali was standing in the middle of the room, crying silently. Mrs. Harriet was holding Katie by the arm while Katie shouted insults at her. Zachary's screams increased from his bedroom.

Before Tony could do anything to stop her, Ziva practically pounced on Mrs. Harriet, snatching Katie away from her. "Get your hands off my daughter!" Ziva snapped, pulling Katie close.

"Excuse me, but maybe you should train your demon child!" Mrs. Harriet said angrily.

Ziva opened her mouth, but Tony noticed something and cut her off. "Do you have a black eye?" he asked Mrs. Harriet. Ziva stopped in her tracks and looked closely at the babysitter as well.

"Yes!" Mrs. Harriet practically spit out, "As I was saying, that heathen," she pointed a shaking finger at Katie, "attacked me!"

"Katie!" Ziva said, shocked and disappointed at the same time. "You hit Mrs. Harriet?"

Katie, knowing her mom was angry, looked down at her feet, "She made Tali cry," the little girl said softly.

Tony and Ziva exchanged looks. Finally Tony said, "Mrs. Harriet, why don't you join me in the kitchen and I'll pay you for your troubles. We won't need your services anymore." Tony and Mrs. Harriet departed, leaving Ziva with a suddenly very meek Katie.

"Caitlin Ann DiNozzo, you know better than to use violence except when it's absolutely necessary," Ziva reprimanded.

"It was necessary!" Katie protested.

"I don't think it was," Ziva said, "I'm going to go take care of your brother. When your father gets back we'll talk about why what you did was wrong."

Katie nodded and, as Ziva left to room to try to console her youngest, she saw Katie move over to try to comfort Tali, who was still crying. Ziva walked into Zachary's room to find him wailing and rocking back and forth in his crib. Ziva picked him up and patted his back, bouncing him until he quieted down. But when she tried to put him down he would cry again. He did this sometimes, when the only thing that would keep him calm was Ziva holding him. Tony said it was because he was already a little ladies man and he recognized a beautiful woman when he saw one, but Ziva thought that it was a result of not having as much time with his mother as he needed. She had no evidence to prove that theory, but it made her very guilty about leaving him.

Resigned that Zachary was probably going to spend the night in her arms, Ziva carried him back out to the living room where Tony had joined the girls. Tali and Katie were sitting side by side on the couch with Tony kneeling in front of them the same way they were when Tony told them about the date, except this time Tony did not look nearly as happy.

Ziva sat on the end of the couch. Tony gave her a look that said 'I have no idea how to start, so feel free to take it away.'

"Katie, do you know what you did wrong?" Ziva asked looking into her daughter's face. Katie was on the other side of Tali from Ziva and did not seem to want to answer.

"I hit Mrs. Harriet," Katie admitted finally.

"And why is hitting someone wrong?" Ziva prompted. Katie didn't answer.

"Katie-Bug, do you know why it was wrong?" Tony asked. Ziva wished he wouldn't use Katie's nickname when she was in trouble.

Katie still didn't say anything. "It's wrong because you could have hurt her," Ziva said.

"I did hurt her," Katie said, finally looking up from her lap. "Her eye was black."

"Yeah, it was," Tony said, "Do you feel sorry for hurting Mrs. Harriet?"

"I don't know," Katie said honestly, "Does Mrs. Harriet feel sorry for making Tali cry?" Tali chose that moment to let out a huge sniffle, reminding Tony and Ziva that they still had that issue to deal with.

"It doesn't matter, honey," Ziva said gently, "You should feel sorry no matter if Mrs. Harriet does or not. We aren't saying she wasn't wrong, we're saying that hitting her was."

"Oh," Katie said in a small voice. "I just wanted her to stop."

"We know, Katie-Bug," Tony said, "But we need to come up with some better ways of handling the situation, okay?" Katie nodded. "And to do that, we need to know why you hit Mrs. Harriet."

"Because she—"

"We know it was because she made Tali cry, but why did you think it was okay to hit her?" Tony interrupted.

Tali actually spoke up to answer that one, "Mommy told us to."

"What?" Tony and Ziva said together.

"You said that if anyone tries to hurt us we should hit 'em right in the nose," Katie touched her own nose for emphasis, "But I missed and hit her eye," she added contemplatively.

Tony turned to look at Ziva, interested as to how she would explain herself, which she rushed to do, "No, baby, I didn't mean someone like Mrs. Harriet. I meant a stranger."

"Mrs. Harriet is a stranger," Tali said matter of factly. Now that she'd decided to join the conversation, she had no problem inserting her input.

"You might not have met her before, but your mother and I introduced her to you," Tony clarified, "A stranger is someone who doesn't know you or me or Mommy."

"Oh," the little girls said together.

"Katie, do you see now that punching Mrs. Harriet was not the proper response?" Ziva asked sternly.

"Yes ma'am," Katie said, going back to staring at her feet.

"Do you know what comes next?" Ziva asked.

"Punishment?" Katie guessed.

"She's a smart one. Nothing gets past her," Tony said, causing Ziva to glare at him.

"That's right," Ziva said. "First, we're taking away TV time until Wednesday. You also need to write an apology letter to Mrs. Harriet for her black eye. I want you to draw her a nice picture to go with the letter that says how sorry you are."

"But—"

"No buts. Now, why don't you and I go get you ready for bed while Daddy has a talk with Tali about why Mrs. Harriet made her cry."

"Okay," Katie said dejectedly, getting up and proceeding Ziva, with Zachary finally asleep in her arms, out of the room. Ziva shot Tony a look before she left that said 'I'm trusting you to handle this on your own. Don't screw it up."

When Katie and Ziva and Zachary were out of the room, Tony moved onto the couch next to his daughter. He examined her closely for a minute, trying to think of the best way to begin. Around Tali's blue eyes (she got that trait from Tony's mother) was red from crying, and she kept sniffling and rubbing her face. Her light brown hair, wavy but not as curly as her mother's, was tangled in a knot in the back of her head. Tony, thinking he could distract her slightly, took her hairbrush off of the coffee table and pulled her into his lap.

He began brushing her hair. It was something that only Tony did and he enjoyed it immensely. Katie was too impatient for him to try to brush through her mass of curls, and Ziva was the only one who knew how to deal with hair like theirs anyway. But Tony could hold Tali in his lap and she would sit quietly while he brushed her hair out. Sometimes she would talk to him about her day, or just sit and play with her fingers. Sometimes Tony would talk to her, trying to make her laugh or just because she was a good listener. Tony was often jealous of Ziva's relationship with their kids, but even he knew that he had something special with Tali.

After Tali had calmed down completely, soothed by her father working her hair, Tony asked, "Why did Mrs. Harriet make you cry?"

Tali thought for a moment, like she always did, before answering, "She didn't."

Tony was taken aback. He paused in brushing her hair so she turned around to look at him. "Then why did you cry?"

"I didn't want to go to bed without you and Mommy," Tali said sadly. "I didn't mean to upset everyone," Tale sounded about as remorseful as Tony had ever heard a four year old get.

"Hey, Maisie-Girl, it's not your fault that you missed Mommy and me," Tony hurried to reassure Tali.

"Okay," Tony could tell that his daughter was reluctant to believe him.

"Why did Katie attack Mrs. Harriet if she didn't make you cry?" Tony asked after a minute.

Tali took a deep breath and put her small hand on Tony's chest, focusing her attention on her fingers. "Because Mrs. Harriet told me not to cry. She said crying was for babies."

"Crying's not for babies," Tony said. He dropped a kiss on Tali's nose, "It's okay to cry, and crying is way better than punching your babysitter."

Tali giggled a little, which was Tony's intended effect. "Mrs. Harriet grabbed me like this," Tali carefully place each of her hands on one of Tony's shoulders, "And shook me," she wiggled her body to demonstrate, "That's when Katie hit her."

Tony clenched his teeth. How dare that woman touch his little girl! But before he could act on his anger, Tali's arms moved from his shoulders to around his neck and she kissed his cheek.

"I love you, Daddy," she said. Then, as if that settled everything, she put the brush back in Tony's hand and turned back around.

Tony felt his anger melt away. He continued brushing his daughter's hair. He'd have a talk with Ziva later about all of this, but right now he was more concerned with what he had in that moment.

The DiNozzo family:

Talia 'Tali' May DiNozzo-four year old (in this chapter at least) twin of Katie. Her nicknames include 'Tali May' and 'Maisie' which only Tony calls her. 'Maisie' is a spinoff of her middle name.

Caitlin 'Katie' Ann DiNozzo-four year old twin of Tali. Her nicknames include 'Katie Ann' and 'Katie-Bug' which only Tony calls her.

Zachary Andrew Jethro DiNozzo-ten month old brother of Tali and Katie. The reason for his two middle names will be explained in a later chapter, but suffice to say, Ziva calls him 'Zachary' and Tony calls him 'Andrew'.