So, about a month or go, give or take a few days, I discovered the Ultimate Spider-Man cartoon, and I've been binge-watching it on YouTube ever since. And after watching and re-watching the episodes over and over... well, it was only inevitable that I'd write something for the fandom.

This story is a sort of AU taking place at the end of "Strange" (season 1, episode 13). Because, seriously, Peter had access to the sleeping minds of billions of people, and who doesn't like waking up to a nice song? XD

Disclaimer: I do not make money by borrowing the Ultimate Spider-Man characters. If you could make money that way, Peter would have done it already by writing about himself.

"If you'll do the honors, Spider-Man?" Dr. Strange said with a smirk, summoning a microphone.

Instead of giving a reply, Spider-Man grabbed the device and tapped it a few times. "It's open mic night here at the Nightmare Lounge," he announced in his best talk-show-host voice. "And I'd like to kick things off with a song I'm sure you've all heard before, but would love to hear again!"

Dr. Strange blinked in surprise as Spider-Man made a grabby motion at him. "iPod, please, Mister Supreme."

A look of understanding dawned in the sorcerer's eyes and he summoned an iPod as Spider-Man requested. Spider-Man scrolled through the songs for a second and then selected the song. "Three Little Birds, by Bob Marley!" he announced as the first upbeat notes rang out through the heads of billions.

Don't worry about a thing,
'Cause every little thing gonna be all right.
Singin': "Don't worry about a thing,
'Cause every little thing gonna be all right!

In downtown New York, people blinked awake as the horrors in their heads were washed away by a tune so hopeful and optimistic that most forgot they'd been having nightmares in the first place. Some people even returned to consciousness mumbling along to the lyrics and not knowing why the song was stuck in their heads.

On the jumbotron, J. Jonah Jameson stretched and yawned. Then he straightened, looked at the camera, and yelled, "Bob Marley stinks!"

Rise up this mornin',
Smile with the risin' sun,
Three little birds
Each by my doorstep
Singin' sweet songs
Of melodies pure and true,
Sayin', ("This is my message to you-ou-ou:")

Danny blinked as the insistent, happy tune wafted through his head. He didn't recognize the lyrics, but he instantly knew that this was a message from Spider-Man to the sleeping world, and he smiled at his friend's choice of song.

He looked up at Shou-Lao with newfound determination. "I earned the Iron Fist," he told the dragon, the manifestation of his fears. "I use it to the best of my ability. I honor that power through my actions. And no one can take that from me!" His fist burned with yellow energy. "Not even you!"

Singin': "Don't worry 'bout a thing,
'Cause every little thing gonna be all right."
Singin': "Don't worry (don't worry) 'bout a thing,
'Cause every little thing gonna be all right!"

As soon as Ava's sensitive ears picked up the familiar tune, the failed tests and report cards around her turned into Bob Marley posters. Blinking in surprise, she stood up and turned around.

Agent/Acting Principal Phil Coulson was still standing there, looking at her disapprovingly. But when he opened his mouth...

"Feeeel the music, White Tiger. That's an order."

It sounded so ridiculous, like something Peter would say, but it was delivered with a completely straight face.

But it was an order. So Ava felt the music and woke up.

Rise up this mornin',
Smiled with the risin' sun,
Three little birds
Each by my doorstep
Singin' sweet songs
Of melodies pure and true,
Sayin', "This is my message to you-ou-ou:"

Straining under what felt like the weight of the world, Luke let out a surprised "Huh?" as music filled his ears. When he looked up, his friends were no longer tied up in front of him with terrified eyes.

Instead, Peter had a red, yellow, and green hat on and was singing and Danny, Ava, and Sam were wearing hilarious and ill-fitting bird costumes and being his back up singers. All of them were wearing sappy grins.

Luke stood upright, the building no longer crushing him, and laughed.

Singin': "Don't worry about a thing, worry about a thing, oh!
Every little thing gonna be all right. Don't worry!"
Singin': "Don't worry about a thing"—I won't worry!
"'Cause every little thing gonna be all right."

Sam sighed in relief as a song he knew well filled the air. But when he looked back at the rabbits, he found that they all had dreadlocks. Rabbits. With dreadlocks.

And then they started singing along.

Sam was even more traumatized than he'd already been.

Singin': "Don't worry about a thing,
'Cause every little thing gonna be all right"—I won't worry!
Singin': "Don't worry about a thing,
'Cause every little thing gonna be all right."
Singin': "Don't worry about a thing, oh no!
'Cause every little thing gonna be all right!"

In all his years, this had to be one of the best things Doctor Strange had ever seen.

Spider-Man was badly singing along to the song and doing Michael Jackson dance moves, while Nightmare cowered away from him, scratching at his ears and whimpering. Spider-Man's singing and dancing were so absurd that Doctor Strange and Iron Fist, both notorious for their being very reserved people, laughed openly as the webbed hero made zombie arms and stomped around.

"No, no, nooo!" Nightmare wailed, gaunt face stretched grotesquely, scuttling backward away from the trio. "No, I had them, I had them all!"

"'Singin' don't wor-ay! About a thang!" Spider-Man sang with his high voice, shooting a web at Nightmare's chest and swinging him over to Danny, who Iron Fist'd him over to Doctor Strange.

"Pleasant dreams," the sorcerer quipped dryly as he summoned his magical squid-in-a-box to eat the Lord of Dreams.

Suddenly, they were back in Doctor Strange's fancy house.

"Spider-Man," Danny said. "As your friend, it is my duty to inform you that singing is not a talent you possess."

"Oh yeah? Well, I'd like to see you try!" Spider-Man defended.

Iron Fist patted Spider-Man on the back consolingly, but his mouth was twitching up at the corners. "Don't worry," he sang, not matching the original singer's deep voice but not sounding like he was on helium, either. "About a thing... 'Cause every little thing—"

"I'm sure you were the star of your church choir, Fist."

The Sorcerer Supreme rolled his eyes. He was going to say a touching speech about fears and overcoming them and how Spider-Man helped out that day, but if the boys were going to argue, it would cut into the twenty seconds he had to give his wonderful words of wisdom.

"Boys, boys," he interrupted. "Don't you have somewhere you need to be?"

Iron Fist's mouth pulled into surprised grimace and Spider-Man's eyes grew wide and round. They skedaddled.

"Don't worry... about a thing...
'Cause every little thing! Gonna be all right.
Singin': "Don't worry... about a thing...
'Cause every little thing! Gonna be all right!"

Ava growled low in her throat, her grip on the computer mouse tightening dangerously as the song lyrics drifted through the wall. That stupid song was messing up her concentration! She needed to do this homework!

"Sam," she ground out at the only other person in the room. "Get him to shut up. Now."

Sam looked at her with an incredulous expression, eyes wide and brow scrunched. "You serious? No way! If I told him to shut up, he'd—"

"Do. It. NOW!"

Well, there was no arguing with that furious face, Sam thought as he dashed out of the room. Still, better for him to pass the message on to a different messenger.

"Hey, Luke!" Sam called, peering into the room next door. "Go shut him up!"

Luke sighed and stood. He really didn't want to hurt his friend by telling him to stop singing, but after a month of hearing the same song nonstop, he was just as tired of it as Ava and Sam were. He walked down the hall to the room next to his and knocked on the unremarkable S.H.I.E.L.D. door. "Dude! We're tired of that song. Stop singing."

There was silence for a moment. Then a light, airy voice replied, "Tolerance is a trait that can only be acquired through practice..."

"And practice makes perfect," Luke finished. He closed his eyes and tried very, very hard not to lose his temper. "Yeah, we get that. But seriously, Danny! It's been a month!"

"I find that the song helps me meditate."

"...What happened to the whole 'clear you mind, no distractions' thing?"

"...Rise up this mornin'...
Smiled with the risin' sun..."

Peter, meanwhile, was at his house and halfway through a math assignment when his newly acquired Danny-is-singing senses went off.

"I've created a monster," he moaned.

Aw, Danny is so cute! :3 And I think he'd be really good at singing. If he can do meditative chanting, he can sing. Hm... Ava probably wouldn't be too bad either... The rest of the team, though... [Insert Spidey-style imagination sequence showing Spidey, Nova, and Power-Man standing on a stage with microphones while they get pelted with rotten tomatoes from the audience.]