Darcy woke up with hair in her mouth and a groan on her lips. And confusion. There was much confusion. Spitting the hair out of her mouth, she went to stretch as she gazed around the room. Her arms didn't move. Much.

What?

She tried again.

Nope.

She titled her head back to try and see what was going on. She swallowed hard. Her arms were over her head and her wrists were attached to a bar on the headboard by a shiny pair of handcuffs.

Handcuffs. Jesus.

Okay, this isn't good.

She took a deep breath and actually paid attention to the room she was in. Okay, it didn't look like a super-secret-Hydra torture room so that was a plus. It actually looked like a really cute bedroom. The walls were a soft gray in color, and windows had billowy light blue curtains that matched the blanket she could see bunched near her socked feet.

Oh, dear god thank you. She had clothes on.

Scrunching up her face she tried to remember what had happened the night before. How did she not remember getting handcuffed to some dudes bed? She didn't feel hungover, so she probably didn't drink that much.

Huh.

Think. They were at one of Tony's ridiculously expensive keggers (really, she calls it like she sees it) and they were celebrating…something. Honestly, Tony could blow his nose and decide it was an occasion for a party. All the Avengers were present and having a good time. She didn't remember an emergency breaking up the party so what the actual fuck?

Darcy had spent a lot of her time playing darts with Clint (yeah, she knew she didn't have a chance but it was fun to try and he, usually, tried to teach her to be better).

By the time the third massacre came around, a lightbulb went off in her head.

"Hey!" she called out to her dart buddy all of a sudden, startling him.

He still hit the target dead center. Damn. He didn't even look at her as he aimed the next one. "Yes?"

"Did we decide where we were having Nat's party? I know we ruled out a surprise since, you know, she'd shoot someone before cake time, but any progress?"

Clint let the dart fly. Bull's eye. Seriously, he wasn't even trying to teach her anything. "Just figured we'd have it here, sweets. Just have Stark pay the tab.."

Darcy rolled her eyes, watching as he went to retrieve the darts. She debating throwing something on the ground just to watch him pick it up. Hawkeye had a nice ass. Sue her. "Yes, dear, I know, but Tony is paying for it anyway. Didn't know if she'd like a change of venue."

He handed her the darts and shrugged, "We have a few weeks to figure it out." Wow could he seem any less concerned. She needed his help, damn it! She wanted Nat's party to be something that didn't resemble a college frat fiasco. She wanted to do something the Russian assassin would actually, you know, like.

Oh, who was she kidding, Darcy wanted to impress her. Stupid Clint. Stupid unhelpful Clint.

She didn't even try aiming for the center of the board as she asked, "What are you getting her? I need some ideas." She hit the outer edge. "What do you think she'd like? I don't want to, like, get her another set of knives. Do you know what she wants?"

Darcy really, really wanted to get her a gift she'd like. But what do you get the super hot Russian assassin who already had everything she needed?

She missed the stupid dart board entirely this time. Ugh.

Clint laughed, "Oh, I have some ideas. Okay. You're doing it wrong. Here. Darcy, stop, you're not even holding it right."

He spent the next twenty minutes showing her, again, the correct way to hold a dart. She still lost, but it didn't make her want to cry.

She remembered leaving the party not long after and still with no idea what to get Natasha. But not much more. Did she make it back to her place?

She scrunched up her face trying to remember, still moving her arms to see if there was a week spot in the iron bar her cuffs were attached to. Ha ha, yeah right.

Darcy heard a door open and froze. Okay, this could go really bad, she thought as she heard boots approaching her new hangout spot. She closed her eyes, not quite sure she wanted to see what was going to happen next.

The footsteps entered the room and stopped near the foot of the bed. Maybe they had t-rex vision and so long as Darcy kept perfectly still, they wouldn't see her.

"When Clint told me he left something for me in my room, I thought he meant a book," the feminine voice spoke up. The familiar feminine voice.

Darcy's eyes flew open. Plot twist.

"This is much better," Natasha said as she removed her jacket.

"Hi," Darcy squeaked out. So much confusion.

"Hi," Natasha smirked as she placed her jacket on the bed. Darcy couldn't help it, she was totally checking Nat out. Her jeans were sinfully tight (seriously, how did she get into them) and the black tank top she was wearing should not have been sexy. But it was. Her eyes flicked to Natasha's face. Busted. Oh, lord. Ground open her up.

"So, uh…." It wasn't often that Darcy was at a loss for words but she could not think of anything.

She watched as Natasha placed a knee on the bed next to one of her legs. She swallowed hard as the other knee followed, on her other side.

Natasha was straddling her calves.

She then placed her hands on the sides of her thighs and slowly crawled up Darcy's body until her face was over hers. She could feel her knees bracketing her hips, her breasts pressing down on her own. Darcy's eyes were glued to Natasha's and she could see the smile in them. She startled when Natasha slipped her hands under her shirt and slide up her sides.

"Am I dreaming?" Darcy started, her brain not believing what was happening. "Because I've had a dream like this, but I woke up before the good bits. And if this is a dream, I really don't want that to happen again. I mean, why wouldn't it be a dream? You're, like, way too hot to be real and I've never been that lucky. So, please, please let-"

Natasha shut her up with a kiss. Oh, a really nice kiss. It was hard and powerful and sexy and Darcy never wanted it to end. She was savoring the feel of Natasha's lips (soft, so soft!) against her own. She gasped when Natasha bit her lower lip, she moaned when she felt her tongue on her own and Darcy would taste strawberries.

Eventually, slowly, gently, Natasha pulled back, a grin on her face. "Happy birthday to me."

Darcy was very awake for the good bits.


What do you think? Let me know. I love reviews!

tumblr: nobutsiriuslywhat