I screwed up again. Everything went wrong because of me. Of course Sam and Dean kept saying that it wasn't my fault that the vampire got away. But deep down I know that I am to blame. It's like I can never do anything right; as if I'm some sort of bad luck magnet. But who am I kidding? The problem is in me; I am the problem. Everything about me is wrong. My weight, my looks, my height even my mind is twisted. The worst part is that I'm all alone in this. I don't have anyone to fall back to. My parents left me when I was a kid, no one in the orphanage ever liked me and Sam and Dean just feel bad for me; that's all. I looked around me. I was sitting in my room in the bunker, on my bed fiddling with a blade in my right hand; contemplating if I should do it or not.

This wasn't anything new to me. I've been self harming for a long time. Sam and Dean never noticed the scars or the fresh ones because I always did them in places well hidden. In fact, I'm sure that if they were to ever find out about this, they will be shocked. Mainly, because I'm just this happy-go-lucky, petite girl who is always laughing even at the darkest hour; always cheering everyone up. Making sure that they are happy because I know what its like to feel utterly sad and I don't want anyone I know to feel the way I do.

Just one cut.

I thought to myself as I rolled my sleeve up; revealing my scarred wrist. Holding the blade unto my skin, I added pressure on the blade as I slid across my wrist. I gasped at the sharp pain that I was expecting. Then holding recently cut wrist by my left hand, I stared at the white line that was soon enveloped by crimson beads of blood. Oh, how good it felt. There was just this form of release; as I've been holding something back and it was all just gone with this one cut. But it wasn't enough. I wanted more. Just more and more cuts. So slashed another one next to the first cut; and another followed by another. By this time, I was like a cutting machine. My entire right arm was covered in cuts and it was throbbing all the way up. I have to admit that this is one hell of a relapse I've had in a while.

I took my handkerchief and rubbed of any trace of fresh blood on the cuts. I never liked washing my cuts right after cutting. After a few seconds the cuts started to stop bleeding except for one. It was the first cut that I did just now and surprisingly it was still bleeding. I must have gone quite deep with it. I placed my handkerchief on it, hoping that it would stop bleeding but it didn't. I then started to panic. I could try using salt but it is all the way in the kitchen and I would have to pass by Sam and Dean.

Knowing that I didn't have a choice, I wiped the blood off for one last time and pulled down my sleeve to cover it. My heart was racing because this is the first time that a cut have gone this long bleeding. Gulping I turned the knob and walked outside.

"See? I told you she wasn't asleep," Dean said to Sam.

They were both sitting at the table with their laptops opened.

"It's only ten, which 16 year old will be asleep at this time?" I said jokingly because I couldn't giveaway about what was really happening.

Sam smirked. "We've got a lead on that vampire. Better get some rest cause we're leaving early tomorrow," Sam advised.

"Dude, cut her some slack," Dean told Sam as he got up from his chair and walked towards me. Dean smiled. "I'm hungry too. Let me fix us something to eat."

Panicking, I walked even faster towards the kitchen. I pulled my sleeve which was already damp in blood. The cut looked even worse and it was still bleeding. Salt was definitely out of the picture. I needed a doctor.

"Liz, you okay?" Dean asked from behind.

I pulled my sleeve down and hid my left arm behind me. "Yeah, I'm fine. Why wouldn't I be?" I lied with a smile.

"Because you're breathing quite heavily and that is definitely not normal," Dean said with his eyebrows furrowed.

"I-I just need some fresh air. Thought that I could go for a ride. Can I take her?" I asked quickly. There was no way that they were going to find out about my self harm addiction. All I have to do is get in the impala and got to the clinic to get this stitched up.

"Sure," Dean said hesitantly as he took his car keys out of his pocket and dangled them in front of me.

I walked towards him with my left hand still behind my back. I could feel the blood flowing very smoothly down my skin. As I neared Dean, I realized that my I was breathing incessantly. Then everything around me started to move like my brain was out of oxygen or something. I swayed a little as I took the keys.

Dean quickly held me by the shoulders. "Liz! Liz!" Dean yelled bringing me back to reality. "Goddamn it! You're bleeding!" He exclaimed.

I followed his eyes at the trail of blood behind me. I then ran as fast as I could from Dean's grip. I just had to get to the impala. But I got so dizzy. I saw a blurry image of Sam running towards me as I fell to the floor face down. He then turned me and I saw both Sam and Dean hovering over me.

At this point, I had my eyes closed and all I could hear was their muffled voices before I drifted away.