Baby Steps

Chapter 3

It had been ten years since he had seen her name on his chart, six years since he had seen her face, but his heart still thudded like a bass drum as he pushed open the door. He willed his voice not to waiver as he called out her name.

Ten years. And he had flashbacks as she rose from the chair, the helpful hands of her father steadying her as she waivered. She was pale, so painfully pale, her lips barely smudges of white lining her face. Her left arm was still in a sling, her right hand clinging to her father like a lifeline. Tear-filled eyes met his and those pale lips attempted a smile as she greeted him with a hoarse voice.

"Hey, Castle."

"Kate. Hi."

"It's been a while. You look good."

He huffed out a laugh. He wasn't sure about that. He was closing in on forty and it was starting to show. He had bought the practice a couple years prior when it had started to crumble under the previous owners and had breathed new life into it. But the extra hours plus a series of other looming problems had finally pushed his strained marriage to the brink.

"I'm doing okay. You've looked better."

She snorted out a laugh before groaning in regret. "You've always known how to charm a girl, Rick, but don't make me laugh."

He winced in sympathetic apology. "Sorry, here let me get you a chair."

He motioned for one of the assistants to bring him a wheelchair but she waved him off. "No, I can walk. Doc says I need to, just give me your arm."

She clung to him, as stubborn as ever, his arm woven around hers, pressed between her forearm and her side as they hobbled slowly to the back.

"Two gunshot wounds." She stated, the words coming out on a labored breath as she leaned back in the chair, sweat already beading at her forehead just from the short walk to his office. Her eyes were closed and her pink tongue darted out to moisten her lips. "One to my shoulder, the other to my chest. Surgeon said a millimeter to the left and I wouldn't be sitting here. Also said I have nerve damage, may never be able to hold a gun again."

He stayed silent, listening, willing his hand not to reach out for her. He wouldn't ask, even after all this time he knew better. She would tell him if and when she was ready.

"I'm sorry, Kate."

Her eyes opened at that, steel staring back at him. "I'm not."

Her hair was shorter, lighter, but when it was pulled up in a high ponytail locks still fell free and framed her face in the same way, making her look ten years younger. She pushed out a breath of air, red cheeks puffing, brow furrowed with every lift of her arm. Her fingers still wouldn't bend, so he had referred her to Antonio, the best occupational therapist he knew in town. Her range of motion was getting better but it was still far from where it needed to be, and every time he saw her he had to bite his tongue to keep from asking her what happened.

"Don't be so quiet, Castle. Tell me a story, take my mind off of the excruciating pain you're putting me through."

He couldn't help but laugh. "I'm not too great at stories, what do you want to talk about?"

She let out a feral sound, a mix between a grunt and a groan, and another bead of sweat dripped from her temple to where the puckered round wound marred her shoulder. "I don't know. Tell me about you. Married? Kids? Update me on the last ten years."

He sighed. "Was married, until about a year ago. No kids. I bought the practice a few years ago, and mostly my life revolves around running it."

"Bought the practice hmm?" A small smile played at her lips even as she winced at the pain. "I see Denise is still here to give me the stink eye every time I sign in."

Castle laughed in reply. "She's been here longer than I have and she's very good at her job, I couldn't bring myself to fire her."

"Apparently for her and me, time and distance did not make the heart grow fonder. She still hates me."

"Well, what can I say, you made quite an impression on my staff all those years ago, Beckett. You still hold the record for the number of assistants a patient has made cry."

"Oh geez. I really was a bratty kid," she lamented. "I apologize for that."

They fell silent, save for the occasional grunt and hissed curse as he worked her arm.

"I shouldn't have kissed you. You were so young; I took advantage."

His gaze jerked up to meet hers when a single note of laughter answered him.

She quirked an eyebrow; an impish grin played on her lips. "You think you're the first thirty year old guy I had kissed, Castle?"

Her expression fell, became pensive before he could even begin to form a reply. "I shouldn't have run."

"You were in pain, Kate."

She nodded, her gaze falling as the quiet settled over them once again.

"Sorry about your divorce."

Her eyes flickered to his with the statement. Rick pressed her arm out, nodding for her to hold it steady at a right angle, straight out to her side and her eyes slammed shut, her chest heaving in short pants. "We weren't right for each other, I think we both always knew it on some level. I wanted kids, she didn't, we both thought the other would change their mind. Then I started working more, and we both just realized we were happier during that time apart than when we were together. What about you? Is there a Mr. Beckett in the picture yet?"

Kate wheezed out a laugh. "No. Almost once but no."

"Can I ask what happened?"

He lowered her arm and she winced as she shrugged in response, her hand hanging limply at her side. "We were too much alike, both lived for our jobs, neither willing to compromise on that for the other. He left in pursuit of a promotion and I didn't follow."

"I'm sorry."

"We weren't right together," she stated, echoing his statement, her eyes locked with his. "When it's right you know."

His heart stuttered in his chest as his arm wrapped around her, helping her stand on her own two feet. "Yeah, you do."

It happened in the middle of her session two weeks later. They had been making progress, her range of motion increasing slightly, her fingers finally able to bend at her middle knuckle. She had just been rolling her eyes at a stupid joke he had made when a patient across the room hit the punching bag with a particularly hard kick and the whole bag quivered before crashing to the floor in a cloud of drywall and plaster. Castle was running to the patient's aid less than a second later and the entire workout room had been sent into a state of chaos. Rick looked him over, shooting out questions about where he was hurt. It was only when the patient shook his head, stating he had jumped clear of the site just in time when Rick realized the screaming he had been hearing was coming from across the room.

His eyes worked the room quickly, darting from face to face, scanning the wide eyes until they finally landed on the body huddled on it's side in the far corner, pained screams coming from the person partially hidden by one curled arm.

"Get everyone out of here," He ordered one of the other PTs as he jogged past, before falling to his knees before his patient.

"Kate. Kate, can you hear me?"

"He's coming. He's coming."

"No." His hands hovered out in front of him, unsure. "He's not. No one's coming. It was just an accident. You're safe, Kate. You're safe."

The screams had faded to hiccupped sobs as he knelt in front of her, and then to quiet sniffles. When she still failed to move and he settled down to sit next to her, a hesitant hand coming out to stroke her hair, murmuring an apology and reassurance when her entire body stiffened under his gentle touch.

She wouldn't meet anyone's eye, even his as he walked her out to the waiting room. She shook her head, cheeks stained with embarrassment at his offer to drive her home and he turned with a sigh as she disappeared through the doors, head hanging, shoulders slumped.

"Denise?" He asked as he rounded the desk, settling to lean in his normal spot, arms crossed loosely over his chest as he looked at the now grey-haired woman. "What do you know about PTSD?"

"Enough to know your girl is going to need a lot of work."

"She's not my girl," he muttered back weakly.

"You sure about that? I've seen the way she looks at you." Denise shot back with a pointed stare. "You get the story out of her yet?"

"Nope, not yet." He turned his head to gaze at the empty doorway and Denise let out a tsk, muttering under her breath as she turned back to her paperwork.

"You two. Idiots, the both of you, I swear. I could cut the tension with a knife the first time you laid eyes on each other."

"It was him."

Her voice was low, the words barely above a whisper. It was the first thing she had said all session, her eyes finally lifting to meet his from where they had hung since she had followed him back from the waiting room.

"The man who shot me, it was the same man who stabbed me ten years ago, who killed my mother."

He couldn't stop his sharp intake of breath. "You found him."

She nodded, but then let out a self-deprecating laugh, her gaze lifting to a spot on the ceiling, her bad arm lying limply in her lap. "I couldn't describe him to a sketch artist after the alley. I always told myself it was just because of the trauma and I would recognize him when I saw him but I didn't."

Castle settled back to sit cross legged on the floor in front of of her, waiting patiently for her to continue. "This guy, an enforcer for the Westies, Jack Coonan was murdered."

"Westies? Irish mafia, right?"

Kate hummed out an affirmative, her eyes roaming the room, observing the other patients and PTs, ever the cop. His hand reached out, settling on top of hers, his thumb caressing her soft skin gently. "We went to talk to his brother, Dick, this do-gooder philanthropist."

Castle had to hold back his snort of childish laughter at the way she said his name, the malice dripping from her voice.

"God, Castle. I thought I would recognize him. I didn't but he knew me. He knew me from the second I set foot into his office. He must have been having so much fun, messing with the detective who was too stupid to even recognize her own assailant."

"Kate…"

"I know, it's not my fault. It was years ago, it was dark, I was facing away from his most of the time, the only time I ever got a glimpse of his face I was lying on the ground, blood pouring from my back."

His thumb stilled, bile surging from this stomach at the image.

"At least that's what my therapist keeps telling me," she continued.

"Your therapist is right," he murmured.

She hummed again, a sound like she wanted to believe him. "Anyway, turns out he wasn't a good guy as much as an assassin for hire. Someone hired him to kill my mother, Castle and I just happened to be there, to get in the way."

"How'd you figure it out?"

She let out another self-deprecating chuckle and her eyes flickered down to their hands before finally meeting his. "Something just clicked. We were in the precinct, I had just shaken his hand, thanked him for his help and he was walking away from me, then he turned to say something. He had this smirk on his face and suddenly I was back there in that alley. I pulled my gun, told him to freeze, but instead he took the gun from a uniform's hip. I hesitated, I didn't want to kill him, I wanted answers and he shot me. I got off one round of my own as I went down. Hit him in the thigh. It was enough to take him down though. My captain went to see him in the hospital and he sang like a bird in exchange for a deal."

She fell silent again, but her fingers threaded through his, holding as tight as the could with their limited strength.

"I got them, Rick. The man who stabbed me, who killed my mother, and the man who ordered it to happen."

"That's amazing, Kate," the words stumbled out and they were not nearly enough. "I am so proud of you."

But she looked anything but proud; she looked lost. "Ten years of my life, Rick. Two men are living their lives in prison but at what cost? My mom is still dead, and I am so broken. I have PTSD and an arm that I will probably never be able to use again. I'm not going to be able to go back to being a cop, am I?"

"I don't know," he sighed. "Probably not."

She nodded at the inevitable answer, her words pleading. "What am I going to do now?"

"I don't know," he whispered. "But I do know whatever it is, it's going to be remarkable."

"Rick…" Her eyes filled with apprehension, but after ten years of missed moments he couldn't let even another day slip past.

"You're not broken. You're the strongest, most frustratingly amazing person I've ever met, Katherine Beckett. I knew it from the first time I saw you, the first time you cussed me out."

She bit out a laugh, and the shy smile adorning her face gave him the courage to continue.

"I've made a lot of stupid decisions in this life, and I don't know a lot of things, but there are two things I do know. I know that whatever you decide to do, you'll be extraordinary, and I know that starting tomorrow you need to find another physical therapist."

Her brow furrowed in question, but before she could ask, he took her in his arms and answered with a kiss. At first, everything about her was stiff, but then her lips parted under his. When she melted against him, arms and hands and mouth a little desperate, the fire that had been smoldering for ten years ignited into a full blaze.

The room had fallen silent around them save for Denise's wolf whistle from the doorway. Rick's answering wide grin finally broke their kiss, leaving Kate laughing into his mouth.

His hand cupped the back of her neck as their foreheads fell together and the rest of the world melted away.

"You're not going to run this time, are you?"

She shook her head slowly, never losing contact as she brushed another kiss against his lips.

"Good. I'd hate to give Denise the satisfaction of being allowed to tackle you."

A/N: Thank you to all of you who read this and encouraged me to continue. Thank you for all of your kind reviews, I hope you enjoyed this little tale! Thank you as always to Kate Christie for the advice, edits, and verbal sparring over phrasing and dialogue choice. Cheers!