s6 is making me confused but all I know is this isn't how i wanted things to go, so here's my dream version where Kurt doesn't just step aside and let Blaine forget him. Also, all my dream songs for Kurt to sing.

(i do have plans of making this multi-chapter but i'm not sure what i'm doing yet) (also i dont have a beta so excuse the typos)

Also, please try and listen to the songs as they come up, it's the main reason i wanted to write this. I wish i could link you to them but ff is stupid :/ (also i hope they wont delete this bc of the song lyrics)

disclaimer: i do not own these songs or these characters, but please let me have my fantasy.

Blaine lies in his and Dave's bed, lights off and curtains closed so he doesn't have to endure the glare of the rainbow comforter (and why exactly haven't they gotten rid of this thing? A trip to Bed, Bath & Beyond is overdue) and tries to force himself to like this country song that he's listening to on Dave's IPod.

Their two month anniversary is just around the corner and Blaine has never sung anything to him, which is just unacceptable. If he's using Dave to try and forget his ex-fiancé, then the least Dave deserves is Blaine giving it his all, grand romantic gestures included.

Problem is, his and Dave's music tastes are completely incompatible. There is just not one song they both like that is not dance club exclusive. Well, at least we can still go dancing together.

Blaine tries not to throw the IPod across the room because who listens to this shit, honestly? He is honestly trying, he is, but Dave's taste is awful and why is he even surprised? The guy can't even carry a tune, Blaine actually has to leave the apartment whenever Dave showers because he can't standhis singing.

They don't even have a song. That's the saddest part. He and Kurt had a song literally secondsafter just meeting, and he and Dave can't even settle on what radio station to listen to when they drive together.

The song ends and another follows.

Blaine is surprised Dave would like Whitney Houston.

Share my life, take me for what I am, 'cause I'll never change all my colors for you…

He skips it immediately.

It's still not fast enough to keep the ache in his heart that never really goes away from flaring.

In moments like this, Dave's terrible musical taste is actually a blessing and Blaine revels in the awful screaming of some heavy metal band that uses the word "dark" way too much. (How do these people's voices survive all that screaming? Blaine's throat hurts just listening. Or maybe it's just the sobs he's trying to force down.)

In moments like this, he feels like he truly has nothing left in the world, because he just hadto go and ruin all his favorite songs singing them to (or with) Kurt.

He didn't just lose his fiancé, or his apartment or his career or the city of his dreams, as if that wasn't enough he also had to lose his music, the one thing that has always carried him through the hard times, through heartaches and rejections and failure, his only unconditional friend.

He feels poisoned with bitterness. Why'd he have to go and give Kurt all of himself? His love and his dreams and his fears and his music.Why couldn't he have kept a something for himself? Kurt certainly kept a lot. Kurt kept everything. How could he have been so stupid, so pathetic, so needy ? So eager to put all he had on the line for him when Kurt couldn't even wash the fucking toothpaste off his mouth before using the towel? Couldn't even let Blaine move things around the loft because apparently it's hishouse, not theirs.Couldn't care that Blaine was missing out on school (failing some of his classes, even) to give the wedding priority. Couldn't be bothered to go with Blaine to choose the flowers or the cake or the venue, and barely even remembered they would need special suits.

And still Blaine asking what did I do wrong? How can I change? whenever Kurt shows signs of being dissatisfied. Blaine coming in from the rain with great wedding news only for Kurt to tell him that living with him is exhausting and he might end up hating him one day… and Blaine asking what he can do to make it better, Blaine begging, pleading that they can make this work. And Kurt giving up because it's too much work, even though Blaine's the only one who has been working to keep this thing afloat.

Just Blaine being his pathetic self, basically.

It's a scratched old record by now, all this self-hatred, pity-party business. He's talked it over with his therapist more times than he can count yet he still falls back on the same train of thought. He hates looking back on his time with Kurt because he hates the person he was then, but he also hates himself as he is now because he doesn't even know whohe is without Kurt, and he hates that he hates himself and not Kurt for this. Never Kurt, he could never hate him.

So here you find him in his bed, sobbing silently and trying to make himself like David Karofsky and his music taste and the person Blaine is around him.

And failing miserably, but at least it's different. At least this is a hundred miles in the opposite direction of where he was six months ago, at least now he is the one who gets doted upon, who gets all kinds of little gestures that mean the world from someone like Dave but mean next to nothing to Blaine; at least now he's the one who gets to be closed off, cold and aloof and distantbecause if he learned anything from Kurt Elizabeth Hummel it was that Ice Queen is the best defense method.

And he hates himself because he lost himself, and he hates himself because he doesn't know who to be now, so he is becoming Kurt. Maybe he can hate Kurt, just a tiny little bit.

Blaine yanks the headphones off and throws the IPod away. He sits up and puts his head in his hands, takes deep breaths to keep the tears at bay.

He's grateful Dave is having dinner with his parents and called to say he is staying the night there (and he doesn't even mind not being invited to family dinners because he's not ready for a father-in-law that isn't Burt Hummel, and of course he had to lose his only real father figure in this break up too).

He's been needing a good cry since Kurt came back to Lima, maybe he's just being stupid, maybe if he sobs himself to sleep tonight, tomorrow he'll go back to normal, to actually attempting to make this thing with Dave work.

Yes, crying is the only way through. He should just get it over with.

But as he's stripping off his day clothes, he hears a car pull over in the driveway. Blaine wipes the tears from his face and panics because it will be obvious he was crying and he's going to ask and why couldn't you stay away tonight, David? Can't I have some space to myself? and ignores how much like Kurt he sounds.

He runs into the bathroom, trying to choose what cream he's going to lather all over his face to cover his red cheeks… probably the one that irritates his eyes, that would explain the tears, and Dave will tell him to stop using that thing if it hurts but he'll take that argument over what is wrong why are you crying, babe?

He's just about to start applying it when he hears music. From outside. And why hasn't he heard the door open? Dave should be up the stairs by now…

Could it really be that Dave is going to serenade him? He is a hopeless singer, but Blaine hasn't been sung to in months, and surprisingly the thought brings a pleasant feeling in his chest, a fluttering in his stomach that he hasn't felt since the first time Dave kissed him and he thought: maybe this is it, maybe I can really move on.

Blaine feels a smile stretch his lips as he pulls a robe over his bare chest and goes back to his room to look out the window. But then the singing starts and…

"I'm lying alone with my head on the phone,
thinking of you till it hurts,
I know you hurt too, but what else can we do?
tormented and torn apart-"

Blaine freezes.

That's definitely not Dave's voice.

He tears the curtains open and sure enough, there he is. Right below his window, Kurt Hummel stands with a boombox raised over his head, belting out "All Out of Love" and smiling like he deserves the world for this stupid cliché of a romantic gesture.

Blaine doesn't know whether to laugh or cry. He's probably doing both.

"…I know you were right, believing for so long.
I'm all out of love, what am I without you?
I can't be too late to say that I was so wrong"

He's more shouting than singing but his voice is lovely and perfectly in tune and god, it's been so long since Blaine has heard Kurt sing like this, like there's nothing else he'd rather be doing, and it's been so long since Kurt's done anythingfor him and why is he doing this?

"What are you doing? Are you crazy?" Blaine shouts down at him, trying to sound angry and not like he's laughing with joy.

"I told you I was going to get you back!" He shouts back over the blasting music, then continues singing like he doesn't care for Blaine's answer. He probably doesn't.

Blaine sighs in exasperation, running his hands through his ungelled hair. "You can't do this, Kurt. I have a boyfriend!"

"I'm reaching for you, are you feeling it too?
Does the feeling seem oh, so right?"

is his answer and Blaine wants to throw something at his head, and also go downstairs and kiss him senseless.

"No, I'm not feeling it because I'm over this, I'm over us, Kurt!"

Do all his neighbors really need to hear this? Blaine's face burns with embarrassment.

"And what would you say if I called on you know
and said that I can't hold on?"

"I would say you should have done this months ago!" oh god, is he really playing along with this?

"Please love me or I'll be gone, I'll be gone-"

"I am not having a conversation with this song, Kurt. Please go away." Except he doesn't really want Kurt to stop, but he has to retain some dignity.

"…what am I without you?
I can't be too late to say that I was so wrong-"

Kurt's voice cracks and the track goes on without his beautiful, beautiful voice and Blaine wants to cry again because even from up here he can see Kurt's face is splotchy and his eyes are red rimmed like he's going to cry any moment and why does it still hurt so much to see him cry? Blaine shouldn't care, you broke my heart beyond repair, cancelled a wedding I'd been planning for months and shattered all my dreams with the coldest expression on your face… And you think after more than six months you can come to my window with a song and ask for forgiveness?

Wait, did he say that out loud?

"I know I have no right! I know that!" and Kurt is already crying and yes, Blaine must have said all that out loud, oh god, what will the neighbors think? What will the neighbors tell Dave? What does Kurt think of him now? Oh god oh god- "You are right! I hurt you and I don't deserve your forgiveness and I have no right and I should let you move on!" And Kurt is shouting and shrieking and Blaine wants to tell him to stop because he's going to damage his beautiful voice and the world needsKurt's voice, Blaine doesn't want a world without that voice and god, why is he doing this to Blaine?

"Then why don't you do that!"

"Because I love you!"

And that's the most hurtful thing Kurt can ever say to him, because it's no use now, mocking him with this when all is over between them.

"Yeah, and we'll get back together and in two months you'll be calling it off "before we end up hating each other." Well guess what, Kurt?" and Blaine can't believe he is about to say this but, "It's too late for that, I hate you already."

He is never going to forgive himself for the look on Kurt's face.

So he closes the window and draws the curtains closed. The song keeps on playing for a while and Blaine can imagine Kurt slowly lowering the boombox, hands shaking and- there, the music stops.

"I know you're hurt and I know you don't mean that, Blaine!" yet Kurt's voice is still shaking with tears. "I know you love me, and I know we're meant to be, and I won't stop until I get you back, ok?" There's sniffing, and Blaine can picture him wiping his face with his sleeve. "You are not getting rid of me, Blaine Anderson, do you hear me?!" his voice is getting louder and Blaine is starting to worry one of the neighbors will call the police.

"Just go, Kurt!" he shouts back, "Dave is coming back any moment now!"

"I don't care if I have to get into a fight with him. I'm not leaving until you come out and talk to me!"

Blaine knows Dave isn't really going to show up, so he decides Kurt can very well stay outside all night for all he cares. He stops replying and goes to turn off the light of his room, hoping Kurt will get the message.

He lies down beneath the covers and tries to sleep but then:

"Lay a whisper on my pillow,
leave the winter on the ground.
I wake up lonely,
there's air of silence in the bedroom
and all around…"

Kurt's not even pretending to sing anymore, just shouting the words and did he actually turn up the volume all the way it goes?

"It must have been love, but it's NOT over now!"

God, he's actually changing the lyrics. Kurt hates it when Blaine changes lyrics, he's always telling Blaine how disrespectful to the author that is while Blaine argues it's creative license, and now Kurt is changing lyrics and what does he think he's trying to say? That he actually listens to Blaine?

Without getting up, without even really thinking about it, Blaine shouts: "Pretty woman, Kurt? Really, you are trying to get me back by calling me a hooker?" and he can hear Kurt's barking laughter over the music and Blaine tries not to laugh because this is not funny, this is not charming, this is not Kurt remembering Pretty Woman is Blaine's favorite Julia Robert's movie, this is not

"Make-believing we're together that I'm sheltered by your heart.
But in and outside I've turned to water like a teardrop in your palm"

Kurt ruining another one of his favorite songs, that's all this is. Blaine puts a pillow over his face and tries to sleep.

The song ends, then there's the opening chords of "Total Eclipse of The Heart" and Blaine shouts "Are you kidding me?" before he can help himself, then actually starts singing along because this is hisbreak up song, not Kurt's. Kurt doesn't get to sing this song to him.

Kurt seems to take it as encouragement. Blaine isn't sure that's not what this is.

The cries of "Shut up, asshole" and "Leave him alone, he said no" and "Stop ruining that song" can already be heard from all over the apartment building and nearby houses. The police will be getting involved soon.

Halfway through the song, Blaine is so full of pent up energy that he jumps out of bed, puts on mismatched shoes and stomps out without even changing his robe for a shirt. He storms out of his apartment building and Kurt actually jumps a little, like he wasn't really expecting Blaine to come out.

"I'm here now, can you please turn that thing off?" He shouts over the music. Kurt does and then there's collective applause; Blaine looks up to see almost all of the lights turned on in his building, a few people actually looking out the window waiting to see how this goes.

"Show's over now, guys! He's leaving, please go back to bed!" He yells as politely as he can under the circumstances. There are some grumbles of disapproval and a guy actually yells "you owe us a show!" but Blaine glares at him and he closes his window. He doesn't however, close the curtains. Blaine is pretty sure everyone is still listening even if they turned their lights off.

"You heard him, we owe them," Kurt smiles, actually has the nerve to joke around. Blaine is most definitely not charmed.

"What do you want, Kurt?" he says tiredly, slumping and trying to convey how much he doesn't want to have this conversation.

"I'll tell you what I want-"

"Please don't go all spice girls no me now."

"I wasn't going to, but now that you mention it, it may not be a terrible idea…" he looks like he's really considering this so Blaine sets him back on track.

"You were saying you wanted something?"

"I do. But I need another song to say it."

Somewhere up in the building someone actually cheers, and a couple of lights have been turned back on. Weren't these people telling him to shut up a moment ago?

"Please don't do this, Kurt. It's way past midnight and I just want to sleep."

"I promise this will be the last one," and he looks so earnest and pleading and how could Blaine ever refuse him?

"Ok, whatever, hurry up."

Kurt smiles that huge smile where his lips cover his teeth and he looks so young and Blaine can almost pretend they are 16 again, just falling for each other like fools.

He goes over to his car and adjusts some stuff with cables and is that a projector? Kurt opens the passenger door, pulls his laptop out and plugs it in and then there's a picture of them dancing at junior prom projected over the front of the building. Then he walks back to the boombox and changes cassettes, god, he actually made cassettes for this, how romantic is that?And hits play and-

Oh no, this song he'd recognize anywhere. He kind of feels like punching Kurt even before he starts singing.

"I walked across an empty land,
I knew the pathway like the back of my hand,
I felt the earth beneath my feet,
sat by the river and it made me complete…"

It's Lily Allen's arrangement and it's soft and sweet and shy and lovely in Kurt's higher range, and Blaine is a goner from the start. Beside them, pictures and videos documenting their history fade in and out, projected over the building front and ok, maybe Kurt deserves a couple of points for this even if Blaine is still angry at him for springing this on him out of nowhere.

"Oh simple thing, where have you gone?
I'm getting tired and I need something to rely on"

A video of them singing and dancing "Let It Snow" for the Christmas special, that was what, over two years ago? All it does is remind Blaine that Christmas is approaching and they won't be having a duet this year, and dammit, Kurt really knows where to hit him.

"I came across a fallen tree,
I felt the branches of it looking at me,
Is this the place we used to love?
Is this the place that I've been dreaming of?"

A video of them in the loft, (probably Artie was breaking in one of his new lenses) lying around in the couch, Blaine is reading a magazine, back against Kurt's chest as Kurt reads over his shoulder. Them cooking together, dancing around, arguing over the noise of Blaine's smoothie machine.

"So tell me when you're gonna let me in?
I'm getting old and I need somewhere to begin"

"I thought we were too young," Blaine whispers so his voice doesn't break. Kurt has tears in his eyes but he smiles and shakes his head, continues singing.

"And if you have a minute why don't we go,
Talk about it somewhere only we know?
This could be the end of everything,
So why don't we go…"

And all over the front of the building there's just this montage of him and Kurt walking around laughing, holding hands, in New York, at McKinley, at the loft, in the choir room, when did Artie even film all of this? How did they not notice they were being filmed? How could they have ever looked so happy when all Blaine remembers is pain and insecurity and resentment?

"Oh simple thing, where have you gone?
I'm getting old and I need someone to rely on
So tell me when you're gonna let me in?
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin"

Who does Kurt think he is? This isn't Rent, for god's sake, nor any other musical, this is real life, people don't do this in real life, why is he doing this when Blaine is almost over him? When Blaine has finally accepted him and Kurt are toxic together and he needs to love himself more and

"And if you have a minute why don't we go,
Talk about it somewhere only we know?
This could be the end of everything…"

Kurt's voice cracks and he stops to sniff and wipe tears off his face. "So why don't we go, somewhere only we know?" is barely above a whisper and more spoken than sung, and Blaine knows he stands no chance.

The videos stop, the last frame being them sitting side by side outside Blaine's apartment in New York, before he moved back in with Kurt and everything went to hell, the day Kurt told him trust is a choice and that he chose to trust him.

Blaine looks down at his shoes, one black, one brown. He isn't wearing a shirt under his robe and these yoga pants are threadbare and it's fucking cold.He decides he doesn't mind.

"So where do you want to go?"

Before he knows it, he has an armful of Kurt and he can hear his neighbors clapping. Maybe life canbe a musical, if someone who loves you is willing to make it into one.

"This is where you tell me you're never saying goodbye to me," Kurt whispers against his shoulder.

"I never said goodbye, you did. You broke that promise, Kurt."

"I know. Still, I'm never again saying goodbye to you, ever," he pulls away to look Blaine in the eyes. "You once asked me to believe you would never cheat on me again, and I did. Now it's your turn to believe me."

Blaine looks at anything but Kurt, blinks back tears and tries to imagine it. Believing Kurt.

"I don't know, Kurt."

Kurt bites his lips together, nods in that determined way of his that got him into and NYADA and Blaine's heart. "But you said you'll come, and we're going to talk. And I'm going to make you believe me."

Blaine can never refuse him anything.