TV Guide capsule for Saturday, May 1, 1993:

9 PM Who's the Boss?—Comedy

The family continues to react to Jonathan's surprise relationship.

###

TONY: (voiceover) Previously on Who's the Boss? (Clips from the previous episode follow.)

ANGELA: Sam, just tell me. You can't just keep dropping hints. It isn't fair!

SAM: Well, from the sound of it, um, I think Jonathan, well, is gay. (Cut.)

MONA: Michael, what a pleasant surprise. (Wayne & Garth style) Not! (Cut.)

MICHAEL: OK, what is this about?

RICHARD: Well, they just all found out that Jonathan has been dating Bonnie. (Cut.)

TONY: (angrily getting to his feet) OK, that's it, Buddy! You're outahere! (Cut.)

Scene I: The living room, shortly after we left off

SAM: Well, Mona? What about you having Bonnie sit in your big empty house for two months, where Jonathan, her secret little boyfriend, could drop in any time?

JONATHAN: (insulted) Little?

MONA: Uh, I plead the Fifth.

MICHAEL: This is ridiculous! (He gets to his feet and strides towards the kitchen.) Angela!

TONY: Michael, you don't wanna go in there.

MICHAEL: Tony, I can talk to my ex-wife about how she's raising our son.

TONY: Yeah, but not in the kitch— (Michael opens the swinging door.)

ANGELA: (annoyed) Michael!

MICHAEL: (embarrassed) Um, sorry, Angela. (He backs out.)

TONY: See, I recognized Tony, Jr.'s nursing cry.

MICHAEL: You didn't tell me that there were twins.

TONY: Yeah, well.

MICHAEL: No wonder she's been neglecting Jonathan.

TONY: Ay-oh, oh-ay, she's a great mother!

MICHAEL: Yeah, maybe for her shiny, new family.

JONATHAN: Dad, this isn't Mom's fault. It's nobody's fault but mine.

BONNIE: Well, and mine.

MONA: I told you two, you haven't done anything wrong.

MICHAEL: Oh, well, if you approve, Mona— (Angela enters from the kitchen.)

ANGELA: Mother, can you and Richard take the twins to your place? And can the rest of you, I don't know, make yourselves scarce?

AL: Ay, I was gonna leave anyway. But before I go, let me say this.

JONATHAN: (dreading the worst) Oh God!

AL: Jonathan is 17. Now if I was 17 and my girlfriend slept a few feet away from me, and then she was house-sittin' next door for a couple months, and she looked like Bonnie, and I was following her around like a puppy for a few months before we got together, and she liked me, too, well, I'd have done more than neck with her. So give the kid some points for restraint.

ANGELA: (shocked) Jonathan! You've been necking with Bonnie? Don't you know what that leads to?

MONA: Switch-blade fights and reefers? VD and insanity?

ANGELA: Mother.

AL: Sounds like my high school.

HANK: Al, I think we should go. Sam?

SAM: I'm not going! It's my friend and my brother! I mean— (She breaks off realizing what she just said. Although they know she's hurt and angry, Bonnie and Jonathan are touched by her slip.)

HANK: (gently) How about Al, Richard, and I take the twins next door? Mona should stay, too.

MONA: (softly) Thank you.

ANGELA: Fine, just go! (more nicely) Please?
RICHARD: Of course. (He and the two young men head to the kitchen to pick up the twins. This leaves Tony, Angela, Michael, Mona, Sam, and of course Jonathan and Bonnie.)

ANGELA: Michael?

MICHAEL: (stubbornly) I'm not going anywhere.

TONY: (reverting to first-season Brooklyn Tony) Ay, Angela, you want me to give this guy the Jim Peterson treatment?
ANGELA: (amused despite herself) No, Tony, I don't think that will be necessary. And he is Jonathan's father, even if he decides to exercise that authority sporadically.

MICHAEL: Now, listen, Angela—

ANGELA: No, you listen, Michael. I understand your concerns, and I share some of them. However, this is my house and I expect to be treated with respect.

MONA: You go, Girl! (Sam is amused despite herself.)

ANGELA: Thank you, Mother. In fact, I think we all, myself included, need to show some respect and consideration. So, Jonathan?

JONATHAN: (nervously) Yeah, Mom?

ANGELA: How exactly did this get started?

JONATHAN: Oh, well, it sort of started when you hired Bonnie as a maid, though I guess I had a little crush on her before then. But it was really when she got upset that I might help Bueller cheat on a History test—

TONY: History test? My History test?

JONATHAN: I didn't go through with it. Grandma did one of her reverse psychology things on me and I realized I couldn't cheat. And then after that, I don't know, I just liked Bonnie more and more, and she was here almost every day and it just happened.

SAM: It?

BONNIE: We got closer without even realizing it. I'd always thought of him as sort of your kid brother, but the age difference didn't matter as much as it used to. Well, it matters but less.

ANGELA: Bonnie, you're 20, and Jonathan's only 17!

TONY: CoughIngridcough!

ANGELA: Tony, that's different! And I didn't know you were eleven.

MICHAEL: Excuse me?

MONA: They were each other's first kisses, thirty years ago this summer. Isn't it amazing how you were just a detour from Fate?

MICHAEL: Thanks, Mona.

SAM: Why didn't you just tell us? Sneaking around only made things worse!

BONNIE: We thought you'd disapprove.

SAM: Well, it is a little weird but— (laughing) You're not much older than Walter.

MICHAEL: Who the hell is Walter?

ANGELA: (embarrassed) Jonathan's friend from junior high. He was held back a grade and Jonathan skipped a grade. Then he went off to military school and we hadn't seen him in six years.

JONATHAN: What does Walter have to do with anything?

SAM: Um, Angela and I thought you were gay.

TONY: No, that was just some jerky thing Zack said to Jenny. Last week she finally told me why she hit him right before the state play-offs.

MICHAEL: Can I have a program? I can't tell all the players. (They all ignore him.)

JONATHAN: So, wait a minute, you two thought I was dating Walter, a former juvenile delinquent, and you were being nice to him? But the minute you find out I'm dating Bonnie, a girl you both love like family, then you're mad at me? And her?

ANGELA: Um, we didn't want to seem intolerant. (Everyone starts laughing, and it eases the tension some.)

TONY: OK, now hold on, you two didn't tell anybody but Mona and Al?

BONNIE: We never talked to Al about it, but, um, I guess he was less distracted than everyone else and he had more opportunity to notice.

SAM: (shaking her head) I was sure oblivious. Otherwise, I wouldn't have suggested that Hank and I move into the downstairs bedroom.

JONATHAN: Yeah, and we didn't know how to make you change your mind. So it got a little, um, hormonally intense upstairs.

TONY: Hard to believe, huh, Angela?

ANGELA: Tony.

MONA: So when Bonnie asked for help, I suggested she house-sit, to give her and Jonathan some space. Separate space.

MICHAEL: And nothing went on at Mona's? I mean between Jonathan and Bonnie.

JONATHAN: (embarrassed) Bonnie wants to wait till I'm 18.

ANGELA: Oh, well, good. Um, thank you, Bonnie, for not seducing my son. Yet.

TONY: An-gel-a.

SAM: And thank you, Jonathan, for not seducing my friend. Yet.

MONA: Samantha.

ANGELA: Mother, how could you keep this secret all this time?

MONA: Well, Dear, it wasn't my secret. Besides, I was away on my honeymoon soon after I found out, and I couldn't see putting this in a postcard.

ANGELA: Wait a minute. Mother, you've been back almost a week. That means that Bonnie is no longer house-sitting for you.

MONA: Very good deduction, Angela.

TONY: Ay, what's been going on upstairs this week?

JONATHAN: Nothing, I swear!

BONNIE: But it is getting hormonally tense again.

JONATHAN: Well, yeah.

TONY: Angela, what are we gonna do about this? Even if we let them keep seeing each other, we can't let them sleep down the hallway from each other. (Mona and Sam laugh.) Ay, this is different!

MONA: Yeah, they're not in seven years of denial.

ANGELA: I don't know, Tony. This isn't something I ever expected.

JONATHAN: Well, I'm going off to college in the Fall, so—

TONY: That's two or three months away.

MICHAEL: Maybe Jonathan should come visit me this summer.

ANGELA: And then what about holidays? Is he supposed to spend them with you?
MICHAEL: Doesn't Bonnie have a family of her own? Or do all your housekeepers end up staying here permanently? (Tony glares at him.)

MONA: I have an idea. But you're not going to like it.

TONY: Who's not gonna like it?

MONA: Well, probably none of you. I don't like it myself, but it's not my idea.

ANGELA: I can't wait to hear this.

MONA: Well, you know that I visited Nanna— (She glances at Michael, and decides it's not worth going into all the stuff about the will in front of him.) To clear up certain matters. And she said she would love to have her oldest great-grandchild stay with her for a year. She'd even pay for him to go to a university there.

ANGELA: A British university?
MONA: A prestigious British university. So if Jonathan's safely away at Oxford or Cambridge or wherever, then that'll keep him out of Bonnie's pan— (She censors herself) Arms.

JONATHAN: Grandma, why didn't you tell me this before?
MONA: I didn't think you'd want to leave your home and everything.

JONATHAN: Well, I don't, but I still have a right to know what Nanna is offering.

MONA: If she's not scheming as usual.

JONATHAN: Wow, Oxford! Cambridge!

MICHAEL: Sounds like quite an opportunity, Sport.

ANGELA: Michael.

MICHAEL: I understand. If you'd rather have him go to Ridgemont—

TONY: Ay, what's wrong with Ridgemont?
SAM: Yeah!

ANGELA: Michael, those are not his only two options. He could go to Harvard or NYU or—

MICHAEL: That's good, Angela. Keep him tied to your apron strings. We see how well that's worked out.

TONY: Ay, wait a minute—

ANGELA: Tony, I can handle this.

TONY: OK, but I've got your back, Baby.
ANGELA: Thank you. Really. Michael, one minute you think I'm a neglectful mother and the next you think I'm overprotective.

MICHAEL: Maybe because one minute you're neglectful and the next you're overprotective.

MONA: Hey, listen, Bub—

MICHAEL: When I asked for custody, I knew this might happen.

SAM: You knew he would he date Bonnie?

MICHAEL: No, Samantha, I knew that Angela would continue to alternate being wrapped up in her career and overcompensating by smothering Jonathan. And then she hires some guy off the street, or off the streets I should say, to pick up the pieces.

SAM: My father is a much better dad than you'll ever be, and if he doesn't kick you out, I will!

ANGELA: Samantha.

SAM: I'm sorry, Angela, but—

ANGELA: If anyone's going to kick out Michael, it'll be me.

MONA: Aw, can I do it? Please? It's my birthday next month.

TONY: Ay, ay, I'm the one who should do it! I'm the man of the house and it's my job.

MICHAEL: (getting to his feet) It's OK. I can see myself out. Jonathan, my offer to visit California still stands.

JONATHAN: Thanks, Dad. I'll, I'll call you next week.

MICHAEL: Great. Angela, as always, it's been a pleasure. (He exits out the front door. The family watches him go and don't notice Bonnie slipping out to the kitchen.)

TONY: Do you believe that guy?

JONATHAN: Well, he's my dad and he means well.

TONY: I know, and I'm sorry but he knows just how to get to me.

ANGELA: Me, too.

MONA: Count me in.

SAM: Yeah, he's not exactly my favorite Bower.

MONA: Jonathan, I'm sorry about Nanna's offer. I didn't mean to add to your problems.

JONATHAN: No, it's OK. It is tempting. But I couldn't leave Bonnie. (He turns to smile at her and then notices she's gone.) Bonnie!

SAM: She was just here a minute ago.

MONA: Maybe she went in the kitchen to get a snack. (They all get to their feet to go to the kitchen. Cut to commercial.)

Scene II: The kitchen, soon after

(Mona, Tony, Angela, Sam, and Jonathan rush in.)

SAM: There's a note! (She points to a napkin on the table. Jonathan grabs it and they all gather around to read it.)

JONATHAN: Do you mind? (They ad-lib apologies and back off a little but they're curious) I'm going after her! (He throws the napkin on the table.)

ANGELA: (As Jonathan dashes outside) Sweetheart, wait!

TONY: Uh, do you think we should read the note? Or respect his privacy?

MONA: (with no such scruples, she grabs the napkin and reads it out loud) "Oh, blow ye winds over the ocean."

TONY: OK, that's the weirdest Dear John letter I've ever heard of.

ANGELA: No, Tony, it's a poem. I think.

SAM: I think it's a song.

TONY: Well, you're the future music producer, Honey.

SAM: No, an old song.

ANGELA: It's Bob Dylan! The answer is blowing in the wind!

SAM: No, but I think it is a folk song, even older than that. (Mona starts humming.)

ANGELA: Mother, please, we're trying to think.

MONA: Angela. That's the song.

TONY: What song?
MONA: (singing) O blow ye winds over the ocean,

And blow the winds o'er the sea
Oh blow the winds o'er the ocean
And bring back my Bonnie to me.

SAM: (getting it) "My Bonnie lies over the ocean."

ANGELA: But Jonathan is the one who might be going over the ocean.

MONA: It might be a suicide note.

TONY: Suicide?!

MONA: (singing again) Last night as I lay on my pillow
Last night as I lay on my bed
Last night as I lay on my pillow
I dreamt that my Bonnie was dead.

SAM: Mona, don't be such a ghoul!

MONA: I'm not the one who wrote the note.

ANGELA: Well, whatever it means, Jonathan clearly understood it. And he went after her. So instead of standing around debating it, we should be going after them. (The sound of Jonathan's car starting up.)
MONA: Or we could wait 24 hours and put out missing persons reports for both of them. (Angela rushes to the door, but from her body language, she's too late. Tony comes over and hugs her.)
TONY: He'll be OK.

MONA: They both will.

ANGELA: I feel so guilty. I wasn't supportive and accepting.

SAM: I know. I always wanted her to find a nice guy. I just didn't think it would be him. (Angela nods. The four of them all hug. And then the babies start crying.)

Scene III: An Italian restaurant in New Haven, about half an hour later

(Bonnie is sitting at a table, reading a menu, when Jonathan enters.)
WAITER: Your usual table, Sir?

JONATHAN: (grinning as he spots Bonnie) Yes, thank you.

BONNIE: (looking up and smiling) Drat, you found me.

JONATHAN: (sitting down) It was a tough clue. But I remembered when we came here on our second real date and we got silly and sang meatball songs.

BONNIE: (singing to the tune of "My Bonnie," with Jonathan joining in after a couple lines) My dad is a very fine fellow,
You can tell by the lift of his chin;
But whenever that man bends his elbow,
Oh, boy, how the meatballs roll in.
Roll in, roll in,
Oh, boy, how the meatballs roll in, roll in;
Roll in, roll in,
Oh, boy, how the meatballs roll in!

JONATHAN: Yeah, and "On Top of Spaghetti."

BONNIE: All covered with cheese.

JONATHAN: I don't want to lose my poor meatball.

BONNIE: Well, I don't want to lose my noodle.

JONATHAN: So what are we going to do?

BONNIE: Well, I'm ordering wine and hoping they don't card us.

JONATHAN: You're such a bad influence. (Part of Billy Joel's "Scenes from an Italian Restaurant" plays over the closing credits. But then there's a sudden interruption.)

TONY: (in voiceover) An-gel-a!

Scene IV, Tony and Angela's apartment bedroom in Iowa, one summer morning in 1993

(Tony and Angela are lying in bed together.)

TONY: Angela, out of all your crazy dreams this past year, that one was the craziest.

ANGELA: I know, I know.

TONY: I mean, don't get me wrong, Scheherazade. I've enjoyed your stories, especially the ones where we can't keep our hands off each other.

ANGELA: Those are the most realistic dreams.

TONY: (stroking her arm) Yeah. But thank God we're moving back to Connecticut and you can stop worrying about Jonathan.

ANGELA: Do you think that's what it is? Guilt over leaving my son so long?
TONY: Probably. I've had dreams where Sam has dropped out of college to manage Al's band, and Al isn't even playing music anymore.

ANGELA: Right. (shaking her head) I can't believe this year is finally over.

TONY: Well, thank you for seeing it to the end.

ANGELA: Of course. We made a deal. And thank you for refusing to extend your contract.

TONY: Well, that was my part of the deal. One year in Iowa and now I can go back East and take that teaching job in New York.

ANGELA: Mmm, New York.

TONY: Is that where you'd rather stay?

ANGELA: (going Gabor) I get allergic smelling hay. (turning serious again) No, really, Tony, Iowa is lovely, flat but lovely. But I miss the Connecticut countryside as much as I miss Manhattan.

TONY: Yeah, I miss Brooklyn.

ANGELA: Then I think you're going to be very happy at Brooklyn College.

TONY: Me, too. And I think you'll be happy being back at the Bower Agency every day.

ANGELA: Yes. Unless I end up having twins.

TONY: That would be nice. But I think we should get married first.

ANGELA: (doing a Southern belle voice) Why, Mr. Micelli, this is so sudden!

TONY: Come on, Angela, we agreed, we'll have a big wedding when we get back home.

ANGELA: I just wanted to make sure you hadn't changed your mind.

TONY: You kiddin' me? (They kiss. The closing credits roll for real this time, with stills of their big wedding.)

THE END OF SEASON NINE