Disclaimer: If Naruto was mine, I wouldn't have made Neji/NejiTen fans cry.

And I'd give up forever to touch you
'Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be
And I don't want to go home right now

Goo Goo Dolls — Iris

…

"Neji!"

Someone hugged him from behind and laughed. "Neji, Neji, Neji!"

Hyuuga Neji widened his eyes, trying to pry those arms off his stomach and turned around to meet a pair of brown eyes and beautiful features he'd missed so much. "Tenten?"

The bun haired girl giggled. She still looked the same, nothing had changed. She wasn't hurt, she was okay; and that made his breath nearly stop. She was here. "Guess who's back?"

He pulled her into his arms without thinking, burying his face in her green tea smelled hair. "I've missed you." His voice was hoarse, trembling slightly from relief because she was safe with him now. "I've missed you."

"Neji," Tenten sighed into his shoulder, "I've missed you too."

"Where have you been?"

She pulled away to look at him with warm eyes, smiling as she cradled his face in both hands. "Neji," her voice soothing and soft to his ears, "I found my heaven."

Neji opened his eyes.

Morning sunlight immediately hurt his eyes a little, but he did nothing to turn his face away from the window. He clenched his fists, wanting to punch or break something to release the emotions deep inside him.

He had dreamed of her again.

With his other hand, Neji reached to the space beside him only to meet the cold surface of the bed. There was no trace that someone had been there last night. He knew he should haven't been surprised, but truthfully every morning he always hoped for a miracle that there would be a little warmth to tell him she had been there the night before, even if she'd left early before he woke up.

How pitiful.

Shaking his head, Neji gathered his strength to leave the bed and put on his shirt, heading to the kitchen to make himself some tea.

He stood before the countertop, watching the steaming tea he'd just made in silence. The sweet smell started to fill the air and Neji had no choice but to let it consume him completely. Like people who couldn't skip coffee every morning, he wasn't able to leave home before drinking tea, or if he wanted to say it more seriously, he couldn't live without it. Unfortunately, tea always reminded him of her—which meant he had to torture himself every morning. He couldn't live without remembering her.

He couldn't live without her.

There was a soft knock at the front door, making him narrow his eyes. Not only did he want to be alone at that moment, but there hadn't been any guest since four months ago.

Activating his Byakugan, Neji somehow wasn't that surprised to see who was standing before the door. He wanted to ignore her and pretended he wasn't home, but knew it would be useless. There was no point to hide anymore so he reluctantly left the kitchen.

He opened the door and a dark haired girl stared at him hesitantly. "G-good morning, Neji-nii-san."

Neji tried his best to display no expression at all. "Good morning. Hinata-sama."

Hyuuga Hinata swallowed, fingers playing with each other nervously. "A-are you alright?"

"Yes." He quickly answered. "Do you need my help, Hinata-sama?"

"No," Hinata peeked behind his shoulder—a pointless action because she knew no one was there anyway—and shifted her gaze to him again. "I-I just want to make sure you have come back. Father… he thought you were still on your mission, but I know you were supposed to come back last night, so I—"

"I came here last night," the older Hyuuga said, "but I will go home in an hour."

His cousin didn't leave as he expected. "Nii-san. What… can I do to help you?"

Neji avoided her gaze. "I'm sorry, Hinata-sama." In this state, he felt so weak that he would accept any help from anyone, but the truth was that no one could save him now. "There's nothing you can do." I've drowned too deep.

"I understand," Hinata said weakly, lowering her eyes to her feet.

The long haired man slid one foot behind the other one, signaling that he wanted to come inside, alone. "If you'll excuse me, I have to a few things to finish before going home."

Nodding slightly, the younger girl didn't protest. "See you later, Neji-nii-san."

He closed the door before she really left.

Neji didn't drink his tea that morning. He flung his mission pack over his shoulder and locked the door, leaving the apartment but not actually going to Hyuuga compound. Instead, he stood alone in front of Konoha memorial stone, listening to a few birds chirping from tree branches above and feeling warm sunlight dancing on his pale skin.

Even if he enjoyed the peaceful silence, his heart didn't sing like the birds.

There was suddenly a familiar chakra behind him, right when he started to touch a name engraved on the stone with his fingers.

"Neji."

Neji had to remind himself to stay calm, to not lose his control, to not break the big stone before him with bare hands. Instead, he greeted the person back with his normal tone, if not slightly flat. "Lee."

A pause. "How was your mission?"

"Fine."

"I see." They were silent for a moment until Lee spoke again. "I met Hinata-san a few minutes ago."

Neji didn't reply.

"You… stayed at Tenten's apartment again last night."

"Do you have any problem with that?" He asked. His heart berated himself for speaking that harsh, but the next second he threw away his guilt.

"Neji," Lee said, "I'm really, really sorry to say this. But you… you should try to move on! Tenten wouldn't be happy seeing you like this!"

This time Neji turned around, anger evident in his eyes and voice as he spoke. "You'll never know, Lee," he said, trying to mask his emotions which he failed to do, "you'll never know how important she was to me."

"I know!" Lee clenched his fists, bravely staring straight into his pale eyes. "I know how important she was to you, and how you have lost everything! I know what she was to you even before that morning!"

Neji knew what morning his teammate meant. It was almost one year ago, on a mission somewhere in a small village far away from Konoha, when Lee had accidentally found him and Tenten curling together under the same blankets. Tenten had almost cried in embarrassment and he himself had thrown one of her small scrolls to Lee's head, but the bowl haired man had quickly apologized, promising them to not tell anyone about this. Throughout the day, the three of them had acted as if nothing had happened.

The following days, everything had been going smoothly—one by one their friends had started to find out their relationship although not in a way as embarrassing as Lee's—but the happiness had stopped four months ago in the cruelest way Neji had never even imagined.

"I know you're blaming me for everything that happened." Lee said again when Neji didn't react. His gaze turned to the ground. "I know it was my fault. I do always want to punish myself for this, Neji. But…" Lee's eyes closed as if he was in pain, "please come back to your old self. I can't stand seeing you like this. I owe Tenten so much, I don't want her to be sad because you're—"

"Lee." Neji cut him off, making his old friend lift his head. "What would you do if you lost someone so precious to you for the second time in your life?"

"I…" Lee tried to find his words. "Tenten is the only person I have ever lost this far."

"Then you will never know." The Hyuuga simply said. "You will never know how I feel. People, including you, easily tell me to move on already. What are you thinking?" He saw Lee flinch from the corner of his eyes. "It is not just a simple problem to me. Losing two people because of the same reason… no one but me knows how it feels."

Sacrifice was a part of shinobi life. But after having someone he loved doing it for someone else, two times in his life, Neji wasn't sure if he could still hold onto what Naruto had taught him years ago.

Lee was silent.

"Go home. I'm not blaming you."

"You've never lied before, Neji."

If there wasn't tension between them, Neji would've wondered where Lee's ridiculous phrases like 'youth', 'rival', and 'fire' had gone, but at the moment he didn't even care about it. "So you think I'm lying?"

"Yes. You're blaming me for this. But I do understand and I don't blame you for blaming me."

Neji chose to not respond.

"Neji." Lee lifted his head to stare at him seriously, hands clenching tightly. "Fight me then."

He raised an eyebrow.

"Fight me," Lee repeated. "Release all of your anger on me. Use your jutsu on me, kick me, hit me, anything you want, even kill me if you need to."

The Hyuuga prodigy's eyes widened; but Rock Lee could be serious at times and this was one of them.

Lee took a few steps back as if preparing enough distance for their fight. "You're my rival, Neji. I've always wanted to have a real battle against you, not just our usual sparring at our training grounds." He held out one hand, palm facing himself; signaling that he was ready. "You've always wanted to see whose technique is the better, haven't you? This is the right time."

Neji's nails dug into his palms.

"Fight me, Neji! This is my only way to pay Tenten's sacrifice for me!"

Hearing her name was what fueled Neji. His heart clenched painfully all of a sudden, the frustration and anger coming back as he automatically activated his bloodline limit and infused chakra to his right hand.

With a growl, Neji started to dash forward just as he saw Lee preparing his defense—

—but a pair of hands suddenly grabbed his left arm, gripping it tightly and stopping him from moving that he was so shocked.

"Stop it!"

Eyes wide, Neji turned his head to find his younger cousin. "Stop, Nii-san. Please stop!"

"Hinata-sama…"

"Hinata-san." He heard Lee's serious voice. "Please don't interfere. I want to finish this with Neji."

"No, please listen to me!" Hinata shook her head as tears rolled down her cheeks, making him wonder what had happened. "Y-you have to go to hospital now! Please!"

"What happened?"

"She came back!" Hinata cried. "Tenten-san—she has come back!"

His heart and lungs stopped working for a moment.

Perhaps, it had something to do with the fact that he hadn't drunk his tea that morning.

"Sakura-san!"

Hearing Lee's frantic call, the pink haired woman turned to see the three of them running to her. Her face was hard as if she had just heard something very shocking. But that was nothing compared to what Neji felt right now; he could feel his hands trembling madly and cold sweat running down his temples.

As if she could see that, Sakura glanced at him and managed a forced reassuring smile. "She's in there. Tsunade-sama—"

"I have to see her." Neji pushed the medic ninja away by her shoulder, heading toward the closed emergency room. "I have to see her."

Sakura grabbed his arm before he could even reach the door. "Stay here, Neji-san. I know what you feel but this is Tsunade-sama's order."

"I have to see her!" Neji almost shouted, pulling his arm free, "don't get in my way!"

Lee reacted quickly, holding Neji's arms from behind so that he couldn't move. "Calm down, Neji! You will see her when you can! You will be the first person to see her. Right, Sakura-san?"

Sakura who now had a reassuring arm around Hinata's shoulders only nodded.

Neji's shock from the realization that Tenten was alive, Tenten was here, Tenten was near him now, apparently had exhausted him to the point that he wasn't able to stand upright anymore. Lee guided him to the empty seat nearby.

He stared emptily at the door. Tenten was alive. Tenten was there.

His life was there and he was about to breathe again.

If this was merely a dream, Neji would kill himself the next morning because dream wasn't supposed to feel this real, dream wasn't supposed to—

"Neji." Lee who was sitting next to him called his name, but Neji had no energy left to look at his friend. "Please stay calm."

He couldn't.

"I don't believe it."

The Fifth Hokage looked up at him tiredly. "Neji," she said gingerly, "she let herself be killed to save Lee, who couldn't move at all from the poison. She received the katana that was meant for him."

"I don't believe it."

"The enemy sensed Shikamaru's team coming." Tsunade continued, ignoring the stiff Hyuuga standing before him. "He used a rather big explosion jutsu before running away. Team Shikamaru got minor wounds, Lee got severe injuries. But Tenten…" her brown eyes closed tightly. "We assume her dead body fell off the cliff from the explosion."

Neji kept his gaze on the village's leader, face displayed no emotion at all. "I don't believe it."

"I sent a few of our skilled shinobi to come and check around the location, but they found nothing. I obviously couldn't tell them to go down the cliff to retrieve her corpse. It would be too dangerous." Her voice lowered. "I'm sorry."

This was a dream.

This was a bad dream.

"There's nothing we can—"

"Give me the man's name." Neji cut her off. "I'll go after him."

Tsunade took a deep breath. "You can't." She looked at the wall behind him. "This man was actually Suna's target also. In fact, they'd been after him long before Konoha. He killed one of Suna's best shinobi the day following our accident, and a week later, the team Kazekage had sent finally found and killed him."

This was a nightmare.

"I'm sorry, Hyuuga Neji."

He didn't attend the ceremony for Tenten's death the next day.

Neji's mind came back to the present when the double door opened and the Fifth Hokage emerged. She had her eyes closed and eyebrows furrowed, drowning in deep thoughts. No one dared to say anything but Neji instantly got on his feet. "How is she?"

Tsunade looked at him, tired eyes quickly calculating. "She's alive."

(A/N): The relationship drama hasn't started yet. Anyway, try to listen to the song above because the chorus is just… so very NejiTen, no joking.