Part Four

The next morning, Castle awoke with a start. The bed was shaking. Was the bed shaking? Or had he dreamed it?

Blinking, he slowly looked around the room. Everything seemed normal. The sunlight was just beginning to peak through the bookcases. Ambient sounds of the city streets could be heard around them. And soft gentle breathing could be heard beside him.

Kate.

Glancing to his right Castle spotted her, arm lazily draped beside his stomach. Her face was smashed into the space between their pillows and one of her bare breasts pressed up against his arm. He decided then if he was dreaming he never wanted to wake up.

Castle shut his eyes and let his mind drift back to the previous night when they'd made love. That was certainly not an event he would soon forget. However, before he could take too much of a trip down memory lane his bliss was interrupted by his mother bursting into his bedroom and calling out his name.

"Richard! Get up! Get up!"

"Mother!" he half gasped-half shouted, scrambling for blankets to cover himself and his equally naked bed companion. At least he knew for sure he wasn't dreaming; he was definitely having a nightmare.

Beside him, a startled yet still half a sleep Kate moved to sit up but then quickly covered her chest with her arms.

Martha averted her eyes. "Oh my goodness Katherine I am so sorry but it's happening again – bombs!"

"Did you hear an explosion?" Kate asked, glancing between the woman and her bed companion. "More than one?"

"I don't know…I thought…I don't…"

"It's okay, Mother." Castle spoke gently to the clearly shaken woman. "Just…just go sit in the living room, let us get dressed."

"Yes, yes of course."

Once she had vanished and shut the door behind her, Castle looked to Kate and apologized.

"'s not your fault." She assured him. "Did you hear an explosion?"

"I think something woke me up, yes, but I don't know what it was," he told her. She nodded and then slid from the bed to gather up her clothing. On his side of the bed, Castle found her shirt and tossed it to her. She thanked him, clutched all the items close to her body and tip-toed her way into the bathroom.

Five minutes later, they emerged and met Martha and Alexis in the kitchen. The still sleepy teen asked what was going on, but the adults confessed they didn't know. "I'm going to go in," Kate said. "I'll let you know what I find out."

"Can I help?" Castle offered. "With anything, I mean."

Kate smiled softly and ran her hand across his arm. "Just stay here; I'll contact you as soon as I can."

Then, after bidding goodbye to the other members of the Castle clan, Kate scooped up her bag and headed out the door. Turning back to his family, Castle smiled reassuringly. "I'm sure everything's fine."

Martha eyed him skeptically for a moment before a slow smile crossed her face. "So…you and Katherine."

Castle groaned. "Mother…"

"What about them?" Alexis asked. Castle gave his daughter a tentative look so she looked at her grandmother. Apparently, that was all she needed to catch the implication. "Oh god, you guys came out of the same bedroom…oh, ew I don't want to hear about this!" she proclaimed before scurrying out of the room.

Once she was gone, Castle looked back to his mother and saw she was smiling suspiciously at him. "What?" he grumbled.

"Don't deny it, Richard."

"I'm not denying it, but Beckett and I haven't talked about it yet. It just sort of…happened."

Martha smiled wider. "I'm sure it did."

Castle covered his face with his hands. "Please, mother; it's too early for this…"

Fortunately, the Castle family did not have to wait too long to hear about the events of that morning. An hour later, Kate texted him to tell him there had been an explosion in a gas line near one of the bomb sites. While there had been some injuries, it was completely accidental; not relating to terrorists. This made the two women in his life feel much better and they were able to continue with their day.

Half an hour after the first text, Kate texted him again and asked him to meet her at the Twelfth. All too eager to help, Castle hurried to dress in suitable attire and then practically ran to the elevator in the building. Once on the ground floor, he hurried onto the street to hail a cab but froze just outside the entrance. This was the first time since the attacks forty-eight hours earlier that he had left his apartment. He knew that his trip to the precinct would not take him near any of the bombing sites (not that he could go near them if he wanted) but still, it was different. Once again, everything in Manhattan had changed.

At the Twelfth, Castle found his first signs that things were slowly returning to normal. Scary looking men guarded by uniformed officers sat handcuffed in the halls. He was greeted with smiles and hellos as he disembarked from the elevator and Kate Beckett sat at her desk. Finally, a scene he recognized.

Though he made to join Kate in his usual spot beside her, he was intercepted by Ryan, who greeted him with a manly hug. Castle inquired on Esposito and received more or less the same story he'd heard from Kate the night before. After commenting that he'd try to get to the hospital to visit as soon as he could, he greeted his partner with a smile and, most importantly, coffee.

"I'm pretty sure Starbucks would be open even if a nuclear bomb went off," he said as he took his usual seat.

Scooping up her cup, Kate nodded to him. "Let's hope we never get to verify that."

Castle mirrored her nod. "So what's going on this morning? Murder? God, I hope not."

She shook her head. "No, actually-"

"Ah, Mr. Castle." Their conversation was interrupted by Captain Gates, who approached them both with her glasses balanced at the bridge of her nose. Castle stood immediately to greet her. She nodded to him. "I never thought I'd say this, but I'm glad Detective Beckett was able to get a hold of you."

"Oh?" he responded, shifting his gaze between the captain and his partner.

"As you may have heard, the events of Wednesday morning left us with dozens of victims we have yet to be able to identify. In order to complete this task, we're asking detectives to search through the victim's clothing and personal effects in an attempt to identify them. This isn't always an easy task and sometimes requires quite a bit of research."

"I'm excellent at research!" Castle chimed in, a bright smile crossing his face.

The captain nodded slowly. "Typically only law enforcement officers handle these tasks, but given how short staffed we are this is a bit of a unique situation."

"I'd be happy to help in any way I can, Captain," he assured her.

"Uh, Castle," Kate chimed in, wanting to make sure her partner knew what he was volunteering for. "These aren't just murder victims. Some of them have been blown up. For some of them we only…we only have pieces."

He gave her a small, sad smile. "I understand; I just want to help."

"And your help will be greatly appreciated," the captain added. Then, after nodding to Kate, she walked into her office.

After joining up with Ryan, the trio departed the precinct and headed across town to the warehouse where all the victims were being staged. If Castle had not figured out what he had signed up for, he got a pretty good idea of it the moment he walked in to the giant room to find dozens of bodies laid out in rows across the warehouse. There, they met up with Lanie, who gave them protective gear and instructions.

For six hours, Castle examined bodies and parts of bodies side-by-side with Kate and Ryan. They matched up clothing and skin tones on limbs and torsos. Once they had as much of a person as they thought they could gather, they began using what they had in clothing pockets or on the body itself to identify the victims. The men who carried wallets were easy to identify, but the women and children took much more time.

Though emotionally it was some of the hardest work he'd ever done, Castle felt proud of himself when their shift had ended. He'd helped identify eight victims, which meant he was able to provide closure to eight families. Closure they might never had if not for the dedication of all the officers (and volunteers) involved.

After returning to the precinct briefly, Kate and Castle went to visit Esposito in the hospital. Much to their mutual surprise, he was in very good spirits (and not just because of the pain meds he was on, as Castle teased). Upon leaving, the picked up takeout for dinner and brought it back to Kate's apartment.

"Today was a good day," Castle said as they sat and ate. "I mean, it was awful seeing all those victims, but being able to help, not feel useless…"

"I know what you mean," Kate nodded to him.

"So, ah, as long as we're both completely exhausted and emotionally drained…let's talk about last night," he said with a teasing smile.

Her lips curled. "Last night was nice; really nice."

"It was, though I'm sensing a 'but' coming."

She shook her head slightly. "Not a but, not exactly. Just… a confession." When she saw she had his full attention, she continued. "Before we go any further with our relationship, there's something you need to know: I remember what happened the day I was shot. Everything that happened. Including what you said to me just before I passed out."

Castle dropped his hands to his lap as he leaned away from her, his brow furrowing. "You remember?"

She nodded. "I'm sorry that I hid it from you, but I was trying to process everything that happened and I just…couldn't. If I could do it over, I'd handle it differently, especially the summer we spent apart, but…but I need you to know the truth. I remember and I don't want to pretend I didn't—not anymore. I…I've been seeing a therapist. We've been taking through things—I've been trying to figure out how to bring my walls down so we could…so we could be together."

Castle considered this wealth of information from her. Though his knee-jerk reaction was to be upset with her for lying, her explanation did soften his emotions slightly. Her explanation and his exhaustion. "I'd venture to guess that your walls have been pretty non-existent for the past few days."

She let out a light laugh. "They have been…ever since the bank robbery, actually."

Castle chewed on his bottom lip as another thought entered his mind: he had not been entirely honest with her. Leaning in, he reached his hand across the table and placed it on hers. Locking gazes with her, he spoke slowly, "As long as we're confessing things…there's something I should tell you."

Kate's shoulders tensed as Castle told her the story of Mr. Smith and how it related to her mother's murder. When he was finished, her initial thought was that he was lucky she was a bit too exhausted to be furious with him. She pursed her lips together. "We get through this—all the aftermath of the bombings—and then promise me you'll tell me everything you know about my mother's case."

He remained silent for a moment as he considered her proposal. "I will tell you what I know, but I can't let you investigate, Kate. You heard what I said—Smith said they'll kill you if you do. I can't lose you, Kate; I love you."

She turned her eyes towards the table. "I know."

"And you love me too, right?" he asked, his tone a bit more tentative. "You said it last night…you don't want to take it back do you?"

She shook her head before answering, "No, but I do want to take things slow. Let's do this right, Castle, because…despite everything that's happened at the end of the day you're the one I want to be with."

He smiled and squeezed her hand. "Ditto." Then, using his hand on hers, he pulled her from her seat and into a warm hug. She melted into his chest and locked her arms around his back. He held her close for several moments, rocking them gently back and forth, before his eyes popped open and he said, "Oh god."

Noting the concern in his voice, Kate pulled back and looked at him. "What? What happened?"

His face relaxed and he shook his head. "Nothing. It's nothing."

"No, Castle, what is it?"

With no small amount of self-loathing he confessed, "It's just…I realized that I'm so disgustingly in love with you that in my head I actually thought that hug was just as good as the sex."

Kate laughed, though she wasn't sure what she found more amusing: his sentiments or the hateful way he expressed them. "Well, honestly, I guess I was kind of thinking the same thing." With that, she stood up on her toes and kissed him. "How about that?"

"Mmm," he sighed, kissing her again. "Also very good, but we should probably have sex again to be sure."

"Ooo how romantic," she teased. Then, before he could say anything else, she grabbed his hand and pulled him into the bedroom.

A/N: Thank you all so much for reading! I think I'm going to have one more mini-fic to post before the big one Castle & Beckett: Homicide later this spring.

I hope everyone enjoys the Castle Season & two-parter!