It had been 6 months since his admittance in the mental hospital. 6 months since he broke down. 6 months since he'd had a major blowout with Gilbert. 6 months since his life had been a spiraling black pit leading toward nothing.

But it seemed longer. Which was really a good thing. It seemed like a year or two since that all happened.

Because now he was happy. He couldn't describe it any other way. His grades had improved, he'd opened up, made a few friends. He wasn't even getting beat up anymore, but that might be because he let his hair grow out. It was to his shoulders, and he was mistaken for a girl occasionally what with his feminine figure, but he no longer was mistaken for his brother.

Oh, and that's another thing, he was healthy and almost fully secure with his image. He was eating. Three meals a day, as much food as he could. He'd gained some weight, so now he was a normal weight, if still on the lower side of the scale

He was confident with himself. And why? That couldn't have happened because of the mental hospital. No, it was because of Gilbert. He told Matthew everyday that he was cute, or beautiful, or sexy. He made Matthew look in the mirror and only see positive things. He may not understand, but he always tried his hardest to help.

Being in that hospital may have been the best thing to ever happen to him- aside from meeting Gilbert. It had taught him that he didn't need to feel the way he did, he didn't need to feel hopeless. That he could do something about it, had to do something about it. Emma taught him how to have a positive outlook on things and be open minded. The group sessions and one-on-one therapy sessions were full of help once he'd opened up.

He can't believe he only stayed a week and a half there. He can't believe all this was 6 months ago.

But if he doesn't believe it, then that means things will go back the way they had always been. And really he didn't want that. So he let himself believe it, embraced it, found comfort in it.

Currently, he was cleaning up his room. He dug under his bed for things. Pens, socks, lost objects, and a notebook were what he pulled out. He stared at the notebook he hadn't touched since he had came home. Why write when there was no pain, no feelings needing to get out? Gilbert was all he needed now. But he didn't just want to throw this away. Maybe one day when he felt he could, he would open the notebook and read it. But right now, that wasn't an option to him. There was no way he was revisiting those dark years. He stood up to put the notebook in his closet, when a paper fell out.

It was once crumpled and now flattened, but he could still make out every scrawled word. He knelt down and shakily picked up the piece of paper. He knew what it was, knew what it held, even knew some of the phrases, though he didn't read it.

This was his suicide note.

The note he'd written the day everything fell apart. So much had happened that day, he wasn't sure what happened when. But he did know that he almost died twice. One when he'd desperately reached for the pocket knife, and the other when he'd gotten hypothermia.

Matthew crammed the note back into the notebook and shoved it in the far corner of his closet before he could dwell on it. He thought that if he ever felt bad again, he would just read that, and remember that no matter how bad things were, they'd once been worse.

"Hey, Mattie," Alfred said, stepping into his room, "I'm going to the park with some guys to play some ball. Wanna come?" He held up a basketball as an invitation. Ever since Matthew had come home, Alfred had paid more attention to him, tried to include him in things, even if he knew Matthew wouldn't. It was weird how a suicide scare could change things, make people more attentive and caring.

"No thanks," he politely declined and closed his closet doors.

"Okay. I'll be back in a few hours," he said and started to leave. But before he even made it two steps, he stopped and looked back at him. "Will you back okay alone?"

"I'll fine, Al," Matthew said and gave him a convincing smile.

"'Kay," Alfred said and walked away.

He sat down on his bed, and waited for Al to leave. He heard the front door shut, and moved out to the living room. He cocooned himself in a blanket even though it was over 60 degrees outside in the April weather. A window was cracked open to let in cool, fresh air. He breathed in, taking in the smell of spring. Fresh cut dewy grass, birds chirping, kids laughing in the distance. Spring was always his favorite season.

He turned on the TV though, instead of going out. Why change old habits? He played Supernatural of which he was finally catching up on. He watched the episode, distracting his mind from wandering anywhere. He was doing a good job of it, too. When the episode was ending, the door flung open, just as he was picking up the remote. He jumped in surprise and dropped the remote, his mind immediately moving irrationally to that it was a burglar or serial killer.

"Your awesomeness has arrived!" Gilbert said and laughed, closing the door behind him. He grinned and sauntered over. "Did I scare you, Birdie?"

"Only a little," he said in relief, "as long as you're not going to rob me."

"I think you're the robber, here," Gilbert said, sitting on the couch and slinging his arm around him.

"What? What did I steal?" Matthew asked, knitting his eyebrows together.

"My heart," Gilbert said and kissed his cheek.

Matthew blushed, even though that was such a bad joke. "That's cheesy, Gil."

"Well if I'm cheese, you're crackers. Let's make a snack," he grinned and Matthew laughed and shook his head.

"Please stop," he said, good-naturedly, blushing more.

"Never. I won't even stop when I'm dead," Gilbert said, "if I die first, I'll haunt you, whispering bad jokes in your ear all the time."

Matthew laughed, "Please, no, I don't think I could take that."

"It's in the contract."

"I didn't sign a contract."

"No, but you did steal my heart," Gilbert grinned, and before Matthew could respond, he kissed him.

Matthew let it go and melted into Gilbert's arms, into the kiss. Gilbert's hands roamed over him and before he knew it, he was pushed back on the couch, the blanket was pushed off, and Gilbert was straddling him.

"You're.. home alone.. right?" Gilbert planted slightly from the kisses.

"Yeah," Matthew said ran his finger tips along the hem of Gilbert's shirt, wanting it off.

Gilbert grinned, slid his shirt off, and barely gave Matthew any time to admire his body before he kissed him again. They kisses started out slow and were gradually getting harder, filled with need and want. Gilbert moved against him, making Matthew gasp.

Gilbert sat up, gave Matthew a sly look, and pulled them both off the couch, into a standing position. He felt cold at the loss of Gilbert's body heat and wondered what he was doing. Silently, Gilbert took Matthew's hand and led him to his room. At least, Matthew thought they were going to his room. But instead they ended up in the bathroom.

Matthew looked at himself in the mirror and looked at Gilbert through the mirror, confused. "Gil..?"

"Birdie," Gilbert said and gripped the edge of Matthew's shirt, "I'm going to show you what I see."

Oh, so Gilbert was doing this again. But why now? Why when they were about to-

His thoughts cut short as the shirt was lifted over his head, revealing his upper half. His arms moved instinctively to hide his body, but Gilbert forced them down.

"I want you to see what I see. I see a beautiful young man in the mirror with a sexy body and the softest hair I've ever touched," he paused as he kissed Matthew's shoulder, Matthew blushing hard, "and then there's you."

"Hey!" Matthew tried to object. How could Gilbert be so self absorbed when he knew Matthew still wasn't secure with his image?

"There's you," Gilbert repeated, "who when I met, looked like some kind of model. A sad model that had been beaten down, but was still beautiful. And that's what I see now. You're sexy, and beautiful, and cute, and perfect, more than I could ever be." He paused and moved closer to whisper in his ear. "I want you to think this when I'm pounding your ass into the mattress."

Matthew was already blushing, but then he turned beet red at Gilbert's last comment. Gilbert then kissed his neck, covering it with kisses, and he knew if Gilbert thought he was perfect, he could think so, too

So Gilbert led him out of the bathroom, to his room, and they fall onto the bed in a tangle of arms and legs. Clothes were pulled off until there was nothing between them, and there was the glorious feeling of hot skin on skin.

Matthew laid in a quiet daze, in Gilbert's arms. He felt so happy right now. So content and light and like he belonged. Gilbert was running his fingers through his hair absently, soothing him even more.

He looked at Gilbert, who smiled and kissed his cheek. "Do you believe what I see, Birdie?"

"Yes," he answered honestly.

"Good," Gilbert said, and was silent for a moment more. "I love you Birdie, and all I want is for you to love yourself."

"I love you, too," Matthew responded, smiling softly. "I'm trying, Gil, I really am... can you believe it's been 6 months?"

"Where's the time gone?" Gilbert smiled and kissed his nose.

Matthew smiled, "It just flew by."

"I'm glad it did," Gilbert said.

Matthew nodded. "Me too. And I got to spend it with you."

Gilbert grinned. "Who wouldn't want to spend time with this awesomeness?"

"A crazy person," Matthew said.

"And you're sane now," Gilbert smiled.

"Pretty much," Matthew laughed softly.

He heard the front door open and Alfred laughing as it slammed shut. Matthew blushed and realized they were both still naked. He quickly moved to grab his clothes, but Gilbert pulled him back down. "Don't worry about him, he won't disturb us."

"He probably will. He thinks I'm still alone."

"Then let him think that," Gilbert said, his mouth suddenly against his neck.

He gasped and squirmed, "G-Gil!"

"If you don't want him to know, then be quiet," Gilbert breathed, hot on his neck, sending shivers up his spine.

He whimpered in response and let Gilbert kiss and suck his neck, marking him. A moan slipped past his lips and he bit his lip, trying to quiet himself.

Then is stopped as suddenly as it had started and Matthew slowly calmed his beating heart, while wanting Gilbert to keep doing it. But he couldn't quite get his brain to work with his mouth and it came out as a half whimper half groan.

"You said you didn't want to do anything with your brother here," Gilbert said, propping himself up on his arm.

"Y-Yeah but-"

"No butts. Except yours," Gilbert grinned and poked his bare bottom.

"Gil!" he gasped and covered it with his hand, a blush spreading over his face.

"What?" Gilbert asked, feigning innocence.

"You know what you did," Matthew said and willed his cheeks back their normal color.

"What did I do?" Gilbert asked.

Matthew rolled his eyes. "You're hopeless."

Gilbert laughed, "I'm just messing with you, Birdie. Now how about you make us some pancakes for dinner?"

Matthew smiled, "Is that the only reason you come over?"

"Oh no, I come for that sexy body of yours," Gilbert grinned.

Matthew laughed. "Okay, Gil," he said and got up. He was aware Gilbert was staring at him as he put his clothes on, so he did it as fast as possible. When he glanced back at Gilbert, he was putting his clothes on as well, trying to look innocent. Which never worked for him.

They went downstairs and Matthew got out the ingredients for the pancakes. He started mixing the things together when Gilbert's arms wrapped around him. He jumped slightly in surprise and he could practically feel Gilbert's smirk. Gilbert pulled him closer and kissed just behind his ear. "You should get an apron that says 'kiss the cook'"

"Papa has one," Matthew said and blushed a little.

"Well maybe you should use it."

"Or you could just kiss me," Matthew said boldly.

Gilbert chuckled softly and turned Matthew slightly so that he could kiss him. It was long and slow, Gilbert's fingers traveling under his shirt, which Matthew didn't resist.

"Gross, get a room," Alfred interrupted loudly. Matthew pushed Gilbert off and tried to catch his breath, his mind spinning.

"This is a room," Gilbert said.

"A smaller room. Like, with a door," Alfred said and walked over to the fridge. He grabbed a can of coke and tossed it in the air a few times. "What are you making, Mattie? Pancakes?"

"Um, yeah," Matthew said.

"Then make me some," he said and opened the tab. He drank his coke before peering closer at him. "What the hell is that?"

"What?" Matthew asked.

"That... is that a hickey?"

Matthew gasped and clamped his hand to his neck. "Uh, Um..." he floundered and stared at the ground. Gilbert just laughed, bending over because he was laughing so hard, while Matthew's face turned red.

Alfred laughed too. "Does he taste like syrup? That's always been my theory."

Gilbert grinned. "He does. I'm sure it runs in his blood."

They both laughed at the joke but Matthew rolled his eyes. Of course he didn't have syrup in his blood! That was insane but... hilarious. He dissolved into the giggles with them and turned back to his pancakes.

Alfred and Gilbert mostly joked back and forth while he laughed and made their food.

"That's what she said!" Alfred cackled when he was finishing up the last of the batter.

"What did she say?" Arthur asked, walking in.

"It's just a saying, mon cher," Francis said, trailing right behind him.

"Yeah, get with the times, old man," Alfred said.

"I'm not old," Arthur huffed.

Before this could turn into an argument, Matthew interjected. "Would you two like any pancakes?"

"Yes, please," Arthur answered for them after exchanging a quick look with Francis.

Matthew nodded and made some more. He loved being with his family and his boyfriend.

Some people think you can't change your life. But you can. In less than 7 months he'd gone from a shy, invisible, depressed boy to a happier, confident, one. He'd gone through pain and heartbreak and self- hate only to come out of that mental hospital a stronger person. He tried not to think about where he would be without Gilbert. Dead? Or very sick, at the least. But he didn't like to dwell on that for too long. He was here, with the people he loved most, about to eat his fantastic pancakes.

Funny how things can work out like that. How things can be so stressful and sad, but in the end it turns out alright. And Matthew, he felt invincible. And he was only going to continue getting better.

It was only a matter of time.

So we got a look at a whole 6 months later and Matthew's looking a lot better than where he was last time. He has the support of his whole family and Gilbert and he has a new perspective on life. I realized it needed to have some kind of defining end moment but I didn't want it to be too serious. I think I did well.

Thank you for staying with me on this train-wreck of a journey! I heart you all! I don't have another long story at this time but I may have one soon if I can get inspiration. In the meantime, I have a few one shots of UsUk and AmeCan that I will probably be posting soon (I literally just ship the FACE family together so my ships get messed up). The one shots are much more light and fluffy, so if you want to check that out, look forward to those!

Lastly, I did a thing with the chapter titles again. Look at chapter 1 and this one (Ha, I know, I'm hilarious). I bid you farewell, my dear readers!