AN – So this is another post 47 seconds, set about a week after Castle hears Beckett's confession. In this AU, Castle's lie does not exist, he told Kate about Mr. Smith when he called during Rise. If you're not a fan of angst, you should probably turn back now, as there will be a bunch of it in this story. But you all know that I'm a sucker for a happy ending.

I'm not sure how many chapters this will be, it could be only 2 or it could be more, I'm not sure.

Disclaimer: I nor any member of my family own Castle.

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Done Waiting

Kate Beckett was surprised to see Castle after the way things had been going the last few days. After the bombing case, Castle had distanced himself, and had only come to the precinct a couple of times. When he had been there he hadn't been himself. He had been cold and distant mostly towards her. So when he knocked on her door after nearly a week of giving her the cold shoulder, she couldn't help but be surprised.

"Castle," she said in greeting, failing to suppress the giddiness of seeing her partner at her door.

"Hey, Beckett. Can I come in? I need to talk to you." God how she wished he had called her Kate.

"Sure," she said, stepping aside and closing the door after him. "Can I get you something to drink?" she asked, walking into the living room.

"No, thanks," he replied, sitting down on one side of the couch. She sat down on the other side, curled her legs underneath her and turned so she was facing him.

"So, are you finally going to tell me what has been bugging you this last week?" she asked hopefully.

"I'm done waiting," he said, looking over at her, his eyes still distant and his face lacking the usual happiness she had come accustomed to seeing.

Oh, no. "What do you mean?"

"I know you lied, Kate, about that day in the cemetery."

"Castle, I–" she started to say.

"No, Kate, it's okay. I understand why you did it, you weren't ready, and you couldn't deal with it right then. You told me on the swings, and I understood. I told you I would wait. But I can't do it anymore. I…" he trailed off, looking down at his hands, "I need to start living for me again. So I need to ask you a question. Are you ready?"

He couldn't be doing this now, not when she was so close to being ready, so close to being ready to dive into it with him. She was so close. But she wasn't there yet, she couldn't give him what he wanted, not yet.

"No, not yet," she replied softly, looking away from him.

He sighed and looked towards the door, but not before she could notice the tears in his eyes. "Okay. That's okay. But, Kate, I can't wait any longer…"

She cut him off, anger flaring inside her, "So what, if I don't strip down and fuck you now, you're just going to walk away, is that it?"

The look he gave her when those words came out of her mouth was one that she would remember for the rest of her life. Never before had she ever been frightened by Castle, but the look of cold, pure disgust that radiated from him when she said those words made her literally move back from him.

"I cannot believe, that after four years you still think that all I want from you is sex," he said coldly. "In reality that you still think that makes this goodbye so much easier. I don't think that you will ever be ready for what being with me means. I know what I wanted for us, Kate. Forever. Always. But if you still think all I'm after is a romp in the sack, you don't understand what this is. I love you. So much that it hurts. And I think deep down, you might even love me. But it isn't enough to overcome the doubts you have about me or those you have about yourself, and I don't think that it ever will be," he stood up and put his jacket back on. "I promised you that I would always be there for you, and I keep my promises. Do you still want me as your partner?"

How could she have done this to him? She had made him wait for four years. Now he was walking away from any possibility that they could have a future. And it was all her fault. But she didn't know how to fix it. She wasn't ready yet, she was still broken, still dealing with her demons, and she couldn't open herself up for him until she was whole again. So she did the only thing that she could think of, she answer his question, "No."

That wasn't what she meant to say. She had meant to say yes, in hopes that she could keep him close enough so that when she was ready, she could try to convince him to be with her. But she had said no. Where had that even come from? She needed him by her side. She didn't even know if she could do her job without him anymore, and she didn't want to find out. But he was leaving. He had already walked towards the door, and like the coward she was, she couldn't bring herself to follow after him and beg him to stay, to wait just a little while longer.

Before he closed the door after himself, he turned towards her and said, "Goodbye, Kate. I will always love you. Please find happiness someday." And he was gone, leaving her alone with nothing but despair for company.

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AN2 – Thoughts? Comments? Reviews?