Notes: Alright this is an ongoing story that I posted on AO3 under ToxicAngel13 in the beginning of December of last year and have been actively updating it often since. I'm cross posting it just for the hell of it. I know not everyone uses AO3. That being said this will have adult language and situations at times. Due to this sites policies those will be edited out on any updates I post here so you will not be getting the full story. There is a reason that I became more active on AO3 and it has everything to do with the fact I simply like that site more. The increased activity on this site is only because I was getting a little tired of only having my work represented by the stories I began when I was a pre-teen and early teen. My writing style has evolved over the years, and I want that to be shown. Call me a prideful woman, but that is just the way I am

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters that I use within this story. I'm just letting them have a good time.

Warning: This is a Slash- If you don't like it then don't read it, but I won't care about any complaints. You have been warned. Redo! Fix-it! This will not be anywhere near a cannon story!

Pairing: Rick/Daryl

Running. Fuck ever since the Prison fell, since their sanctuary fell, their lives had reduced to running and losing the people who they cared about. Hell Rick didn't even know where Carl was, if he was still alive. He had alienated his son so much over the years that one morning he and Daryl had woken up to find the 18 year old man had left in the middle of the night when he was on watch, leaving them sleeping and in a position where walkers could have walked right up and eaten them. Rick had no idea Carl hated him that much. But ever since the prison his son had been different. Harder and more quick to anger when he was dealing with his father. Less so with his step-father but it was still there.

Carl had taken 7 year old Judith with him when he left, and they had no idea in hell where the teen had gone. No amount of tracking that his partner had done had found them in the months that had followed and Rick could only hope that his children were still alive out there. He trusted Carl to keep Judith safe where ever they were, but people died every day now from sickness and from the walkers. After all the damned virus was in them all and with death came a new supply so they hadn't died out yet unfortunately.

That had been the beginning of the end. Now, when he had his partner's, his lover's, head in his lap and a damned bite mark on his arm he wished he could have known all of this before hand. He would have changed so much of what he had done if he had only known. So many people would still be alive, would still be with them and he might not be facing becoming a walker himself. In the very least there would be someone to put him down after he changed, but now he was going to kill whoever found them.

Daryl was dead, he'd gotten bit the night before and Rick had forced himself to end it before his lover turned. He knew Daryl wouldn't want to be a walker, but he can't do the same to himself. He had gotten stupid after Daryl died, worse than when his wife Lori had passed, and he had gotten bit himself during his break from reality. Hell he wasn't sure haw he was coherent enough to be here, with Daryl's bloody corpse, but he was. He's out of damned bullets and stabbing oneself in the head isn't as easy as you think it turned out.

He snorted at that thought. Daryl would lie here and rot after he passed and he would walk around and do the same, maybe tear out some unsuspecting survivor's throat if they managed to get in- he'd locked himself in here with Daryl, but if he knew one thing about the remaining population it was that someone would come scavaging. He pitied the poor fool who ended up finding thier previously safe house. They wouldn't know what hit them if they were dumb about it.

He shivered as the fever settled in full blast, and ran his hand through Daryl's hair to try to sooth himself. He had missed so much time with this man by being such an idiot before. And now he wasn't eve going to hear Daryl grunt at him, or see that crooked smile ever again. Fuck he hated seeing the people he loved die, but at least. At least he was going out knowing that Daryl wasn't going to be alone in this world. Not like Daryl had to face when he was dying. And damnit he was proving his lover right. Daryl had muttered that Rick was going to get himself killed without him there to cover his back. And he had.

There was so much he would change if he could. Merle, Shane, Dale, Lori, Andrea, Caro, Sophie, Beth. So many things that he would try to fix or prevent happening. He shivered as the chills set in, wishing he had the chance to change it all with his entire being. Wishing he had more time with Daryl. Soon enough the fever took over and he mercifully blacked out. He didn't wake up again. Not where he had been at least.

Bright light, burning his eyes even through his eye lids invaded his senses abruptly waking him from what he thought was his finally sleep. Rick groaned, his hand flinging out for Daryl, his groggy mind trying to make him shut the curtains, only his hand hit a handrail instead of his lover's sleeping body. His eyes flew open at that and he felt sick to his stomach when he saw the same hospital room he had woken up in 8 years ago surround him, mocking that last wish that he remembered thinking before the fever took over.

This couldn't be happening, but he felt the same damned thirst that he had the first time around in his aching throat- the one that he now knew meant he's been without water for more than a week. Even though he didn't want to getup he forced himself to. He had to figure out what the hell was happening and to get some damned water into his body before he passed out again. Dehydration was a dangerous thing to play around with, he'd experienced it too many times over the last 8 years not to know that.

He painfully made his way to the bathroom and drank from the sink when the water thankfully turned on again, just like before. Only this time he didn't take the ravounous gulps of before- but he plugged the sink and drank slowly, letting his body adjust to the sudden influx so he didn't end up throwing it all up again. And that process went on for a while as he tried to get as much liquid into his body as he could.

The water was safe here as far as he knew and he needed to be hydrated and clear headed before he even attempted to leave the hospital. Rick had really put himself in danger the last time when he had stumbled out of here as fast as he could make himself, but that wasn't happening this time. He was as safe as he was going to be for a while at the moment so he needed to take the chance and recover while he could. Slowly the water started working it's magic and he started to feel human, then he stumbled back to the bed.

He yanked the sheet over his head as he laid down and made himself sleep some more, because even if he wanted just to get out, this place had been safe enough for him to have been here comatose for the 2 weeks without being eaten. He needed to recover more of his strength, so he would stay. Sleep came far to easy with knowing just what kind of danger he was facing, but it came and he was glad for it.

When he woke up he took a weak piss, then drank some more- moving easier as he did. That was a good sign, the easier he moved the faster he would be able to travel. And the faster he traveled the sooner he got back to his people and could start keeping them out of trouble. He soothed his pounding heart with plans of what he was going to do when he got back into camp. Keeping Shane out of trouble, Seducing Daryl back into his bed and heart. Making sure Lori knew that they were over. Reconnecting with his son. The list went on.

With a much clearer mind than his first tumble out of the bed he searched through his room to see just what he had to work with in here. Rick ended up finding a pack of dropped nut mix by a chair he remembered Shane sitting in, which he ate slowly in an attempt to get something on his stomach which he knew had been empty far too long, then he drank some more water. His eyes felt heavy soon after that and Rick proceeded to fall asleep again almost as soon as he laid down once more. The years he apparently hadn't lived yet taught him to recover while you could, and to appreciate what you had.

When he woke up next he felt better than he had after Morgan's house even, which made him wonder just how in the hell he had gotten there the first time around. He must have had an angel looking out for him that day, and he must have used up his quota of luck for the decade. Hopefully that wasn't the case this time around. God knew that they could use some of that luck surviving out there. He spent one more day drinking water to steady his hydration levels, and pissing like a racehorse in between naps.

So when he woke next he made himself a list of just what he had to look for. He was in a damned hospital after all and that was one place that his people wouldn't raid due to the amount walkers that tended to occupy them. There had to be supplies here that his family would need in the future and he wasn't going to be leaving without them. Only an idiot would walk away from the things that stood between them and certain death out there. And yes he was admitting that he had been am idiot the first time around, but he was a hell of a lot smarter than that now, which is why he was making the list and not just bolting out of the room and grabbing whatever he could get his hands on before leaving.

First he had to find a knife, or bar, something to defend himself- he'd need that for any walkers out there on the hospital floor after all. He pried the side rail from his bed up in the end, deciding that it was better than nothing after all. Next he looked around the room itself once more and found a clean uniform and his side arm in the closet- curtosy of Shane no doubt and something he had missed in his rush before. He didn't waste time changing into the familiar, beloved clothing and putting on his gun and holster. He wouldn't be using his side arm in the hospital of course, he was about to draw more walkers. So the railing was still his best bet in defense and dispatching the walkers until he could find a machete.

His heart ached for his 'brother' as he finished dressing though. Shane had tried to give him every damned legs up that he could manage in case he if he ever woke up from his damned coma. And he had missed it all and worse yet he hadn't even been grateful for what he had noticed when he had gotten into the camp. Instead he had focused in on Lori and Carl then bolted back to Atlanta for his guns and Merle No wonder the man he had once called brother had felt abandoned by him, had gone off the deep end with all of Lori's crap. He'd make it up to Shane this time, he wouldn't let him become the man that he had.

Armed with his trusty side rail, and several dozen pee-cups of clean water in a make shift bag, which he had fashioned from tied bed sheets of all things, he ventured out of his room to look for supplies. He had a feeling that by the time he got out of the hospital he was going to wish he had that damned horse, or a car to help with all of this though. He was feeling a bit pack ratty right now with this potentially unraided location at his finger tips. Hell he would have killed for access to this multiple times over the last 8 years.

There was a pharmacy on his floor, which was a gold mine in so many ways. He cleaned it out of every last ting he could grab even if his bag weighed him down painfully in the end. Those Meds were invaluable out there and there was no way in hell he was just leaving then here to gather dust and expire. Not when he people could use them to survive longer out there. The outbreak and deaths in the prison flashed through his mind suddenly. He wouldn't let that happen this time, he had the meds that the others had gone out for now, and he would guard these things with his life if need be.

Rick found food too as he continued to look around- snacks and bottled water. He took all of that and fitted it into his packs, thankful for the small mercies in life. He now had a hell of a lot more than when he had first left this place, so surviving would be easier. He gave one last look to the place that had kept him alive while he was in a coma and all of this shit went down and then he started to make his way home.

He just had one stop to make, and he considered this stop his first try at changing how things played out. If he was right then Carl would have a playmate in the camp around his age alot sooner than the prison and Morgan wouldn't be going bat shit crazy on him. He just had to take care of Morgan's wife himself.