The Anniversary

It was a year to the day that Merlin had lost Freya. He felt as lonely now, as he did when he'd first lost her. During the day time he'd be kept busy doing Arthur's endless chores, or going hunting something he still hated. He actually quite enjoyed going away from Camelot on patrols, as every day in Camelot was a reminder that Freya was not. But at least he was being kept busy during the day time, at night it was an endless nightmare.

He could barely close his eyes without seeing her face, at times it was so real it was as if he could reach out and touch her. But when he tried he found he was touching air, and tears would fill his eyes for another night. He wondered desperately how long this would go on for? Surely there must come a time when he could leave it behind, his life was lonely enough already. Gaius as ever supportive did his best, assuring the boy that things would get easier.

"You will never forget her Merlin, but you will learn to put it behind you." The old man had said, with such a sigh, as though he too was nursing his own heartbreak.

Merlin had considered telling Arthur, but then cautioned against it. What good will it do after all, they couldn't change things. Arthur had enough things on his plate without landing him with more. So Merlin lived went on living with it, doing his best to live with the sadness.

The anniversary off Freya's death came, and Merlin spent the day laying low. He got on with his chores, did Arthur's armour, room and stables. He went out for Gaius collecting herbs, but the nearer the night the worst he was feeling. How would he get through this he wondered too himself.

In the end he went to bed early, what was the point of putting it off, he would have to face it. He presently managed to drift off into a restless sleep. He'd been tossing and turning for a couple of hours when he felt it. A light touch on his face, as if an insect had suddenly flown by him and touched him with its wing. He irriteably threw his hand at it. All of a sudden the same thing happened again, this time some thing touched him on the other side of his face.

Suddenly Merlin sat up alert, he could sense magic in the room. He looked around, once again something zoomed by him, his eyes traced it turning orange he realised it was a fairy. He shook his head in disbelief, what was going on? One of the fairies regarded him for a second, then beckoned him to follow them. He paused what to do, should he follow it, might it be a trap? As he considered the only other choice being another restless night, he decided to follow them.

They took him outside into the woods, and suddenly Merlin realised there were other magical creatures around. Some zoomed around his head, others hung above him as if suspended on air. He marvelled at how they didn't all collide in the air, suddenly he felt completely awake and curious. This certainly beats a night of tossing and turning. He tried to work out where they were headed for. He used his extra senses to try and identify the path, it was familiar to him, he'd been this way before he was sure of it.

Then all of a sudden it dawned on him. These weren't fairies they were Sidhes, and with a smile he realised he was going to the lake of Avalon. He swallowed wondering if he would get the chance to see Freya. Even if he didn't just to be where she now lay would be some comfort to him, on this particular night. All of sudden he stood on one of the banks, all was still suddenly no Sidhe's flew by his head, it seemed as if the world had suddenly stopped altogether. There was no rustle from the trees, the only thing that was there was a huge moon, shining light down on the lake.

Merlin slowly started walking around the bank, as if willing something to happen. He sensed her near him, but didn't see her. As he walked around he felt he would do anything just to see her one more time. He sighed there was only silence around, he dropped onto the bank and sat, just breathing in the atmosphere of the place. Presently he half drifted off to sleep. Then something woke him.

"Hello Merlin." She said softly.

He shook himself awake in shock, looking round, he'd heard her voice, he knew he had, where was she, he wondered desperately. The moon shone very brightly he followed its rays into the middle of the lake, and then he saw her. Standing on the centre of Avalon, in a beautiful white dress with pink sashes across it, stood his beloved Freya.

"Freya?" he croaked, "but how?" he asked emotion threatening to overcome him.

"The Sidhe have granted me a wish tonight, as it is my first year as lady of the lake." She explained, "I told them I wanted to see you again." She smiled holding out her hands to him.

Before he knew it Merlin was rushing through the water, his only wish being that he could hold her again. Before they knew they were holding hands smiles on their faces.

"I still don't understand" Merlin began shaking his head.

"Merlin I can explain the rules that apply to Avalon to you, but we're wasting time. The Sidhe have granted us one night together, let's not waste it."

"I agree." Merlin smiled picking her up and taking her over to the bank.

They spent the evening locked together when they weren't kissing, touching and talking. With only the moon for company, Merlin still half expected to wake up and find out it was a dream. Only the fact that Freya continually stroked his face and hair told him, it really was true and happening. He really was with his Freya again. As they made love for the last time, Freya sat up facing him cupping his face in her hands.

"You look so tiered." She said sadly.

"I just miss you Freya, and you know the prat keeps me busy all of the time."

Freya laughed "You love him really." Merlin laughed nodding.

"Merlin I need to say something to you." Freya said "no don't stop me please. I just want to say that I don't want you to spend all your life, mourning me. I want you to be able to love again, I don't want you lonely and all by yourself. I want to set you free." She said softly.

Merlin took her hand smiling, "Freya you will always be my love, I do this through choice, not because I mourn you. I've always walked the path alone, but now at least I have you as a bit of light. All I ever wanted was for us to be alone one night, and now that has happened. What more could I possibly want?" he asked, reaching into his pocket he brought out a red rose, and gave it to her.

"Are these my strawberries?" she asked with a laugh. "I love you Merlin." She said kissing him.

"Good I love you too." He said tears glistening in his eyes.

Before long the first rays of sunlight were beginning to show in the sky. Merlin lay on the bank, feeling Freya stroking his hair, he felt totally at peace at long last. A few hours later he awoke all alone. He looked at the lake still but for a few ripples of water. Yet he could still feel her hands stroking him. He dressed with a surreal feeling had it been a dream? An illusion? Merlin didn't know but for the first time in a year, he awoke with a smile on his face.

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