Title: Forgiveness
Author: Dubird
Pairings: I guess a bit of MerylXVash, but it's not the focus of the story.
Rating: PG-13 for some swearing
Standard Disclaimer: I don't own Trigun. This is just one of the many fan spawned writings of another crazy person. I also go to college and have lots of loans to pay off, so if you're looking for money, you've come to the wrong place!
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Vash picked himself up off the floor and looked over at Knives. His brother was sitting on the bed, arms around his knees, scowling out the window. He also had a red mark on his cheek that was about the size of Meryl's hand. "Didn't I tell you not to argue with her? Especially in the morning before breakfast?" he said mildly, shutting the door behind him and going to sit on the end of the bed. Knives turned his head to glare at him. Vash simply looked back at him calmly, waiting for him to say something. But Knives just turned his head away to stare out the window again.
Vash sighed. While he hadn't expected Meryl to come up here and chew Knives out, and he certainly would've tried to stop her if he knew that was what she was going to do, he had hoped for a moment that she had shaken his brother out of his shell a little bit. He started to get back up when he felt a very tentative brush across his mind. His eyes widened in shock as he realized it was Knives. Vash sat very still, hardly daring to breathe. He hadn't felt that since they were very young. Maybe Meryl had shaken something loose after all.
"Was she right, Vash?" Knives asked his question softly, still looking out the window.
"Right about what?" he answered quietly.
"About what she said about you. And me." Knives turned to look at him, his expression unchanged but with his eyes full of confusion.
Vash paused a moment, trying to form an answer. He was afraid of what would happen to Knives if he said yes, but he didn't want to lie to him either. However, there was no need for him to answer. Knives nodded as if he had spoken. "I guess so." He laid his forehead down on his knees with a sigh. The tentative touch had withdrawn, along with Knives again. He laughed a bit after a moment. "I was so positive," he whispered, his arms tightening around his knees. Vash reached out his hand and paused, uncertain of what to do, afraid of saying something that would make Knives withdrawal further. He sighed softly, letting his hand drop to the covers. "That doesn't matter, Knives," he said, staring at the floor. "What's in the past is done and over with. People can change. Our futures are what we make of them. The past doesn't matter."
He heard a rather bitter laugh at that. "You really think so?" Knives leaned back against the headboard and closed his eyes. "After all I've done to you, you'd just forget it?" He laughed again, a self-mocking laugh that chilled Vash. "I'm still not convinced you're right. After all, I spent a lot of time protecting you. I didn't want you to have to go through that like I did."
"Go through what?" Vash looked up briefly, trying to figure out what was going on.
"Never mind," he replied. "Rem was an exception after all, and that's who you knew. You saw the smiles of the rest of crew and didn't see further than that. I didn't want to destroy that."
Vash shook his head and returned his gaze to the floor. "No, I did see the crew. They were scared of us, yes, especially at first. But most of them tried hard not to let what we were bother them. After a while, they accepted us. We may not have been valued crew members to everyone, but at least they accepted us."
"Steve never did."
"I don't know what his problem was. I think he just never lost his fear. Some humans are like that."
"Oh, he lost his fear. He just always hated us." Knives winced a little, then shook his head. "Rem was the only one that really cared about us. Or, rather, cared about you."
"She loved both of us." Vash sighed, a bit melancholy.
"Then why didn't she stop what was going on?"
"We never told her, did we?" Knives opened his eyes at that, but Vash was still staring at the floor. "After all, if we had told her the things Steve said, she would have found a way to stop him. In fact, any of the others would have at least told Rem about it. But we never said anything, so she didn't know."
The two brothers sat quietly for a moment, each lost in private thoughts. The moment was broken when Vash heard Knives whisper. "You should have killed me out there." Vash looked up in stunned surprise. "Why do you say that?" he asked, a bit strained.
"Because you can't trust me, right? Your friend is right about me." He paused and turned his head to look out the window again. "I've spent all this time, believing you were wrong. I still don't really know myself right now. I tried to protect you, and just failed miserably. Why should you let me live?"
"Because you're my brother!" Without realizing what he was doing, Vash reached out and grabbed Knives's arm. He wasn't even sure he could get through to him anymore, but he had to try. He opened his mind and let Knives see what he felt, an act he hadn't tried in over a hundred years.
Knives' eyes widened as he felt Vash's hand clamp down on his arm. An instant later, he felt his brother's mind, for the first time in a very long time. Inundated with emotions, he could only sit and try and make sense of what he was sensing.
'So much pain!' He felt as if he couldn't breathe for a moment.
'Yeah, there is pain.' Vash answered him. 'But there's so much more...' He focused on the good memories he had, of the friends he had made over the years, even the time spent traveling with Millie and Meryl. 'Yes, humans can be deceitful and cruel. But most of them aren't. Theirs is a world full of joy and sadness and pain and relief, and I wouldn't want to live without it.'
Knives closed his eyes again as Vash released his arm, watching him apprehensively. He felt as if his entire world had suddenly shifted, and he wasn't sure he understood why. He drew his arms around his knees again, lowering his head to rest on them. He could feel Vash's uncertainty, but simply didn't know what to do. "Knives?" Vash spoke his name carefully, as if he didn't know what to do next himself. He felt tears suddenly slip down his cheek, and he fought silently to regain control. He had only cried one other time in his life, private tears he didn't want to burden his brother with, and he had sworn not to cry again. Yet, they continued to fall, almost of their own accord. He felt Vash's arms wrap around him, offering comfort, and he stopped fighting.
Vash simply tightened his arms around his brother as Knives continued to cry. Somewhere, deep inside, he allowed himself to hope that things would turn out all right again.
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AN: That came out kinda sad, didn't it? I'm sorry! Ok, yeah, you're right, I'm not really sorry. After all, even if everyone can change, sometimes that change is going to be slow. And it has to have a starting point, right? Call this Knives' starting point, and leave it at that. :P
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Author: Dubird
Pairings: I guess a bit of MerylXVash, but it's not the focus of the story.
Rating: PG-13 for some swearing
Standard Disclaimer: I don't own Trigun. This is just one of the many fan spawned writings of another crazy person. I also go to college and have lots of loans to pay off, so if you're looking for money, you've come to the wrong place!
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Vash picked himself up off the floor and looked over at Knives. His brother was sitting on the bed, arms around his knees, scowling out the window. He also had a red mark on his cheek that was about the size of Meryl's hand. "Didn't I tell you not to argue with her? Especially in the morning before breakfast?" he said mildly, shutting the door behind him and going to sit on the end of the bed. Knives turned his head to glare at him. Vash simply looked back at him calmly, waiting for him to say something. But Knives just turned his head away to stare out the window again.
Vash sighed. While he hadn't expected Meryl to come up here and chew Knives out, and he certainly would've tried to stop her if he knew that was what she was going to do, he had hoped for a moment that she had shaken his brother out of his shell a little bit. He started to get back up when he felt a very tentative brush across his mind. His eyes widened in shock as he realized it was Knives. Vash sat very still, hardly daring to breathe. He hadn't felt that since they were very young. Maybe Meryl had shaken something loose after all.
"Was she right, Vash?" Knives asked his question softly, still looking out the window.
"Right about what?" he answered quietly.
"About what she said about you. And me." Knives turned to look at him, his expression unchanged but with his eyes full of confusion.
Vash paused a moment, trying to form an answer. He was afraid of what would happen to Knives if he said yes, but he didn't want to lie to him either. However, there was no need for him to answer. Knives nodded as if he had spoken. "I guess so." He laid his forehead down on his knees with a sigh. The tentative touch had withdrawn, along with Knives again. He laughed a bit after a moment. "I was so positive," he whispered, his arms tightening around his knees. Vash reached out his hand and paused, uncertain of what to do, afraid of saying something that would make Knives withdrawal further. He sighed softly, letting his hand drop to the covers. "That doesn't matter, Knives," he said, staring at the floor. "What's in the past is done and over with. People can change. Our futures are what we make of them. The past doesn't matter."
He heard a rather bitter laugh at that. "You really think so?" Knives leaned back against the headboard and closed his eyes. "After all I've done to you, you'd just forget it?" He laughed again, a self-mocking laugh that chilled Vash. "I'm still not convinced you're right. After all, I spent a lot of time protecting you. I didn't want you to have to go through that like I did."
"Go through what?" Vash looked up briefly, trying to figure out what was going on.
"Never mind," he replied. "Rem was an exception after all, and that's who you knew. You saw the smiles of the rest of crew and didn't see further than that. I didn't want to destroy that."
Vash shook his head and returned his gaze to the floor. "No, I did see the crew. They were scared of us, yes, especially at first. But most of them tried hard not to let what we were bother them. After a while, they accepted us. We may not have been valued crew members to everyone, but at least they accepted us."
"Steve never did."
"I don't know what his problem was. I think he just never lost his fear. Some humans are like that."
"Oh, he lost his fear. He just always hated us." Knives winced a little, then shook his head. "Rem was the only one that really cared about us. Or, rather, cared about you."
"She loved both of us." Vash sighed, a bit melancholy.
"Then why didn't she stop what was going on?"
"We never told her, did we?" Knives opened his eyes at that, but Vash was still staring at the floor. "After all, if we had told her the things Steve said, she would have found a way to stop him. In fact, any of the others would have at least told Rem about it. But we never said anything, so she didn't know."
The two brothers sat quietly for a moment, each lost in private thoughts. The moment was broken when Vash heard Knives whisper. "You should have killed me out there." Vash looked up in stunned surprise. "Why do you say that?" he asked, a bit strained.
"Because you can't trust me, right? Your friend is right about me." He paused and turned his head to look out the window again. "I've spent all this time, believing you were wrong. I still don't really know myself right now. I tried to protect you, and just failed miserably. Why should you let me live?"
"Because you're my brother!" Without realizing what he was doing, Vash reached out and grabbed Knives's arm. He wasn't even sure he could get through to him anymore, but he had to try. He opened his mind and let Knives see what he felt, an act he hadn't tried in over a hundred years.
Knives' eyes widened as he felt Vash's hand clamp down on his arm. An instant later, he felt his brother's mind, for the first time in a very long time. Inundated with emotions, he could only sit and try and make sense of what he was sensing.
'So much pain!' He felt as if he couldn't breathe for a moment.
'Yeah, there is pain.' Vash answered him. 'But there's so much more...' He focused on the good memories he had, of the friends he had made over the years, even the time spent traveling with Millie and Meryl. 'Yes, humans can be deceitful and cruel. But most of them aren't. Theirs is a world full of joy and sadness and pain and relief, and I wouldn't want to live without it.'
Knives closed his eyes again as Vash released his arm, watching him apprehensively. He felt as if his entire world had suddenly shifted, and he wasn't sure he understood why. He drew his arms around his knees again, lowering his head to rest on them. He could feel Vash's uncertainty, but simply didn't know what to do. "Knives?" Vash spoke his name carefully, as if he didn't know what to do next himself. He felt tears suddenly slip down his cheek, and he fought silently to regain control. He had only cried one other time in his life, private tears he didn't want to burden his brother with, and he had sworn not to cry again. Yet, they continued to fall, almost of their own accord. He felt Vash's arms wrap around him, offering comfort, and he stopped fighting.
Vash simply tightened his arms around his brother as Knives continued to cry. Somewhere, deep inside, he allowed himself to hope that things would turn out all right again.
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AN: That came out kinda sad, didn't it? I'm sorry! Ok, yeah, you're right, I'm not really sorry. After all, even if everyone can change, sometimes that change is going to be slow. And it has to have a starting point, right? Call this Knives' starting point, and leave it at that. :P
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