It was 3pm by the time Aoba woke up again. His leg throbbed uncomfortably, and his whole body was achy and sore. His movements were sluggish as he sat up (with a great deal of effort), and his body didn't feel like his own. Despite how long he'd slept, he was still exhausted. His eyes felt gritty and his skin dirty from lying on the floor in the forest. Peeling back the covers, he examined his leg tentatively. The skin was red and inflamed around the stitches, but he was sure that it wouldn't be too much of a problem with the antibiotics and painkillers that the doctor had prescribed.

Looking around again only served to make Aoba feel even more peculiar. He had spent very little time in Mink's room, only poking his head in when he knew that Mink wasn't out, but he couldn't find him around the rest of the house. The room was basic, but homely. There were rusty orange and red rugs covering the wooden floor on either side of the double bed, and brightly coloured tapestries adorning the walls. Close to the window, Aoba spotted an altar similar to the one that he had seen in the Scratch den. It was simple, yet beautifully carved, and laden with patchouli incense. The scent was relaxing, but an image that reminded him of the Scratch den was not. Aoba swallowed nervously, remembering his panic in the forest when the memories had been so vivid that he could feel people tugging at his clothes. He buried his face in the blankets, searching for comfort in Mink's scent, at the same time knowing how little sense this action made. After all, it was Mink who had ordered those hands to touch him.

To an extent, Aoba understood Mink's reasoning behind his actions at the time. It was clear that achieving his revenge was so important to Mink that he was willing to go to extreme lengths to get Aoba to submit to him. Aoba knew why Mink had thought that it was necessary to do what he did, but his understanding of Mink's logic didn't equate with his acceptance. He knew that what Mink had done was wrong, but he had forgiven him for it.

Tae had always taught Aoba that holding grudges took more energy than they were worth, and it was not in Aoba's nature to be resentful. Holding a grudge against Mink was impossible for Aoba, because Aoba believed in second chances, and he knew that Mink deserved one. He had seen how, after defeating Toue, Mink had ensured that Aoba and his own gang members had escaped the building safely, indicating that although Mink had previously treated them like tools, this did not extend beyond achieving his purpose. Furthermore, Aoba knew that Mink must have loved his family and village deeply to be so intent on avenging them, even if this did result in more bloodshed.

Mink was capable of love, and Aoba wanted to see that side of him. He'd given up everything to see that side of him, because he wanted to believe that Mink was a better person than what Aoba had seen and experienced in the past.

Aoba smiled lightly when he recalled how he had seen Mink's caring side last night, when he'd wiped away Aoba's tears and brought him back to the cabin safely. Still, Aoba wanted to see Mink's affectionate side. In the past few months that they had been together, Aoba had developed strong feelings for Mink, and although Mink had initially professed that he wanted Aoba to leave, Aoba had noticed the little ways that Mink went out of his way to protect and please Aoba. Heck, he'd even bought him chocolate for Valentine's Day – a festival that Mink didn't care about at all. In some ways, Aoba knew that their relationship was deeply complicated by their history. He was effectively living with a man who had done terrible things to him, but this had of course been further complicated by Sly Blue.

Aoba wasn't sure how Mink felt about Sly, but he found it easier to live now that he no longer had to battle against him. Aoba assumed that this was because Sly wanted to be with Mink too, but he also knew that Sly was a serious masochist, and perhaps it was because a small part of him thought that Mink would hurt him again.

The thoughts kept going round and round in Aoba's head, and he knew that he needed to talk to Mink about them before he exploded. The house was eerily quiet, and he began to wonder if he was alone and Mink had left him for good after what had happened yesterday. He pulled himself to the edge of the bed hastily and managed to stand up, despite the fact that his head was spinning and it hurt to put pressure on his leg. It was impossible to walk without a limp, but he made it to the door and was just about to open it when Mink opened it first.

Mink's expression betrayed his surprise that Aoba was awake and out of bed, but it quickly morphed into one of remonstrance.

"What are you doing? You should be resting your leg."

Aoba flushed slightly, embarrassed at the fact that he had already disregarded the doctor's orders.

"I was coming to find you." He answered quietly, hobbling back to the bed and avoiding all eye contact with Mink.

Mink sighed. "I'm not going anywhere, Aoba."

Aoba continued staring at his feet, before mumbling sadly "but you want me to."

Mink swallowed awkwardly, feeling the heavy atmosphere of tension between the two of them.

"Not at the moment, I don't."

Aoba nodded slowly, not sure what to make of his answer.

"I can go and rest in the guest room – I mean, if you want some space to rest in here. You must be tired, after last night."

"It's your room now, not the guest room," Mink corrected wearily "and I'm fine."

"Hmm. I just thought that you might want me out of the way…you always did want me to leave… I don't know why it would be any different now."

"You're in here because it's the largest room, and therefore it was the most convenient place for me to keep an eye on you. Besides, it doesn't really matter what room we're in, I would have been with you whichever one."

Mink took a deep breath before continuing. Although he was naturally a composed speaker, this conversation was a difficult one to have. He didn't want to upset Aoba, but, at the same time, he knew that avoiding the truth was not beneficial to either of them. After all, it was his avoidance of Aoba and lack of communication that had spurred Aoba to go looking for him in the first place.

"I don't necessarily want you to leave, but there's a difference between knowing whatI want and what's for the best."

"What do you want then?" Aoba looked up at Mink determinedly. "You don't talk to me properly, you never touch me, but I've seen the way that you look at me."

"I want you to stay, but this is my point – I don't think that it's for the best. I don't touch you because I'm not entitled to touch you, but I can't help the fact that I am attracted to you, or that I want what's best for you."

"Were you attracted to me before?"

"I thought that you were attractive, but I didn't see you in that way when I hurt you."

Aoba laughed emptily. "It's strange, you know, sometimes in my head I see how you were when we were in Glitter, but then I see your face now and everything about you is different. I want to believe that this second version is really you, but sometimes I'm still afraid that you'll hurt me. I want to believe that you wouldn't, but I can't believe it totally until you tell me that you won't."

Mink looked directly into Aoba's eyes. They were clear and bright, but tell-tale signs of his tiredness were etched underneath, lilac-grey shading heavy lines.

"I won't hurt you again."

Aoba looked at Mink, longing to see the truth in his words.

"I can't hurt you again, and I can't say I'm sorry for what I did, because sorry would mean that my actions can be excused. So I'm not going to apologize, but I will live with the burden of what I did, and I will do everything that I can to ensure your happiness – and that is the best sorry that I can give."

Aoba nodded in understanding, still finding it difficult to make eye contact with Mink. "I know that you care about me, Mink, but I'm not sure how far that goes, and if you really love me, I want you to show me that you do."

"How?" Mink's voice was gentle and not in the least confrontational, but Aoba still felt his face lighting with embarrassment as he stumbled over his words.

"I…I want you to have sex with me!"

"Sex?" Mink stared at Aoba in astonishment, unsure of how to reply. "Are you sure that you want that?"

Aoba nodded, meeting Mink's gaze seriously. "I was upset in the forest – I thought that what was happened in the Scratch den was happening there. If we're going to continue living together, I want you to prove to me that you're different now, and that you'd never treat me like that again. I want you to show me that you love me."

Mink nodded, feeling incredibly awkward. There was a very long pause before he consented, his voice indicating an uncertainty that he hadn't previously displayed.

"Well, if that's what you really want."

"I do. I want it now."

Mink shook his head, frustrated "I think we should wait until you've healed. I don't think that you should put any excess strain on your body."

Aoba grimaced. He was sick of this. He was sick of feeling so hopeless, of Mink rejecting him, of feeling isolated and wishing that somebody could save him. He felt his eyes well up with tears, glittering dangerously as he moved forwards on the bed, leaning his body as close as he could to Mink's with the huge distance that was dividing them.

"I know, but I just think we should do this now, Mink. I honestly feel fine."

There was a long pause before Mink moved to sit next to Aoba on the bed. Still he kept his distance, but it wasn't long before he felt Aoba's hand on his knee, and the other searching for his own hand. Aoba squeezed it gently before sliding his hand on Mink's knee up to the hem of his shirt.

"I want us to move past what's happened."

Mink nodded, and Aoba leant in to kiss him gently. There were so many emotions flying around the room - desperation, regret, sadness, hope - that clinging onto the kiss seemed to be the most logical action. They undressed slowly, cautiously, and there was a tangible difference as they examined one another's bodies in a new light. There was none of the carnality of the past when it had been Sly in Aoba's position. Instead, the movements were slow and full of veneration as Aoba skimmed his hands over Mink's body, and Mink moved his own to reciprocate the action. Mink allowed Aoba to take the lead, all along feeling somewhat distant from the situation. Aoba was still sick, and he wasn't sure with this as it was. He most certainly didn't want to be conceived as taking advantage of the situation.

"Aoba."

"Yes?"

"I…" Mink felt Aoba pause in unbuckling unzipping his jeans, looking at his curiously.

"I want to make sure that you want to do this."

"I've said yes already, what more do you want?" Aoba laughed, continuing to unzip Mink's jeans as if to confirm his desperate want. He stopped when he'd undone the zip, instead focusing his attention on Mink's abdomen. He traced his hands up and down lightly, skirting around Mink's cock as though to tease him.
"Why do you keep asking?"

"I just want to make sure that you really do want to do this. I don't want to force you into anything that you don't want to do anymore."

"Mink, I suggested this. I'm alright. I want to do this. I want to be close to you."

Another uncomfortable pause as Aoba continued to run his hands over Mink's abdomen.

"Do you want to?"

Yes. Yes, he did want to. He ached to be inside Aoba, to feel the connection with him that he had been denying for months. He wanted to see Aoba happy, to be gentle enough to show that he was not a monster, that Toue hadn't produced an irreversible change in him. That he hadn't lost the plot, that he wasn't the man that he had previously shown to Aoba. He wanted all of these things back, but at the same time, he knew that you couldn't always have what you wanted, and dreaming of it was sometimes more hurtful. He wanted his sister back. He wanted his family back. He wanted to go fishing among the Pine and Cedar trees so that he could cook a nice meal for the village barbecue. He couldn't have these things back. And he knew it. But there were things that he could try to get back, and Aoba was one of them.

"Yes, I do."

"I want us to start anew."

He wanted to say 'me to', to say 'I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry', but it wouldn't have been right. There was a long way to go, but Mink had hope that they would find their way there eventually.