Aliens, Mysteries, and Piggys

Chapter 1: Welcome to Gravity Falls

In a small town in Oregon called Gravity Falls, there stood a large shack that houses a very popular tourist trap, I mean attraction called 'The Mystery Shack', surrounded by trees and very weird props. I mean artifacts.

Standing in front if this building, there were four beings. One was a large-headed boy in a black jacket and large glasses. He stood next to another child with green skin and no nose. The Nose-less boy looked over to two creatures which are a small, floating moose that resembles a squeak toy and a plushie dog that was dancing for no reason.

They stood there silently until the big headed child yelled. "Alright, Zim! Where have you taken us? What is this better looking universe?"

The green kid, Zim, grew hostile toward the boy. "Me? Or should you say 'Where have I taken you?!' You Dib Human! As in 'I' is referring to YOU…. Or Gir touched something."

The dog jumped onto Zim's head. "I see a piggy!" The dog ran over to a pot-belly pig which came from the shack. "Hi piggy!"

Zim examined their new location. "Well who ever caused this, which is you. This place looks a lot cleaner."

Dib took notice at his surroundings as well. "You know, you're right."

"AH HA! You did send us here!"

"No I didn't! But this place just makes me … more happy."

Zim thought about what Dib had told him. "Yeah, more pleasure-y-ness is coming off of this place. Even if I'm not trying to enslave the human worms inhabitance."

Dib gasped at the mere thought. "You're not going to get away with this!"

"Get away with what?" asked the oblivious alien.

"I bet your next plan is to conquer this shack! I will not allow it!" Dib looked over at the Shack and read the large sign on top. "Mystery Hack? No wait, Mystery Shack. Huh, my kind of place. Which makes your plan more evil!"

"Mystery? You say?" Zim examined the shack. "What Mystery? Why is a building selling 'Mystery' things? What are they hiding from Zim? ….. Gir! Don't make friends with the enemyyyyy!"

Gir, playing pass the ball with the pig, looked over at his master. "He's not the enemy. The enemy's the enemy."

Then out of the shack's door, an old man walked out to see the four customers. He wore a black suit and a hat with a claw like image on it. He also has an eye-patch and wealds a cane with a magic 8-ball on it. He saw the two kids yelling and was very annoyed. "What are those brats yelling about? They're scaring away good customers."

Then a bunch of tourists walked up to Dib and Zim arguing about something which filled them with fear. "Ahhhh, loud noises!" A child then latched onto his mother. "I'm scared. They yell as loud as those angry guys on the same channel the President like to talk."

Seeing the potential customers running, the old man marched right up to the kids. "Hey, you're scaring away the money!"

Dib and Zim stopped when they saw the threatening man. "Sorry, sir. I'm trying to stop this alien!"

"I'm not an Irken Invader who's planning on replacing your brain with cotton candy! The Dib human LIE!"

Stan got a real good look at Zim and noticed his green skin and no nose. "Well, this could mean you're an alien, or another 'born different' person who'll sue if I say anything offensive. Not making the same mistake again." Stan shrugged off his anger. "Tell you what; I won't chase you off if you spend money. I mean learn about the many mysteries of Gravity Falls."

"He said it!" cheered Gir.

"Mysteries?" Both Dib and Zim said.

"Zim is defiantly scheming his next apocalypse plan. But it looks like he's interested in what this place has as well. Zim wouldn't dare reveal himself now. I could keep an eye on him on this tour. Plus, I really want to see this place." Dib thought to himself.

"Aha! I will examine what secrets the old scary man has and conquer the Earth for the Almighty Tallests! Dib would not expect a thing! Even though HEEE had sent us here!" Zim monologue out loud.

"See, he'd reveal his identity!" shouted Dib. "And I didn't bring us here. You did!"

"Don't listen to DIIIB! His head is big!"

"My head is not BI-"

"Alright, quiet the both of ya!" shouted Stan, which scared the two straight. "Now hold any question till the end of the tour. You can also take that floating toy with you." Stan announced as he points to the moose thing called Mini-Moose.

"Squerk."

"Now let's the tour begin!" Stan led the eager Dib and Zim into the Mystery Shack, unbeknownst to them that Gir and the pig had a visitor.

"Morning Waddles. Who's your new adorable friend?"

In the Mystery Shack, Stan had led them into his Museum of Mysteries. Upon seeing the exhibits like the corn-icorn, the afro-mermaid, and the juggling washing machine ghost, Dib instantly knew that this was a scam. "Why didn't I see this coming?"

Zim, however, bought everything he saw and what came out of Stan's mouth. "Amazing. I'd never would have imagined such mysterious things are on this planet. Excellent! With this wise human's knowledge, I will conquer the human race, and then make this man into my personal goldfish!"

Stan heard Zim's monologue again. "This is either the stupidest alien ever, or the most clever child that people will feel bad for and sue me." He thought to himself.

At the end of the tour, Stan grabbed a rope attached to a curtain. "Now feast your eyes on the most horrifying and dangerous relic I have ever encountered. Behold the living ventriloquist dummy!"

The pulled curtains revealed a 12-year old boy dressed in black tux with make-up on his mouth to resemble a dummy. Standing next to him was a fat man wearing a t-shirt with a question mark on it. "Oh no! The dummy have taken over my mind!" the fat man said, named Soos.

The boy just sighed from embarrassment, until he'd noticed Zim. "What the?" Seeing pass the disguise, he took out a book with a six-fingered hand and the number three on the cover and skimmed through the pages. "Now let's see what we have for today."

Dib just slapped himself in the face. "Oh come on! Everything here is fake!"

Stan gasped. "Good thing this kid scared the other gullible customers away. Not letting another smart one ruin my business." Stan then shoved him into the gift shop. "Come check out the gift shop! You can have one item for (couch) -10% off."

Stan then turned to Zim who was very pleased. "Sorry about that. You know those 'Non-believers' types."

Zim grinned. "Yes, the earth mole is very 'non-believey'. Can I ask questions now?"

"Certainly. Ask away!"

The boy listened in on Zim's questions and instantly knew that he has to be an alien. "Don't recall seeing alien stuff in here. I think I should talk to that other kid. At least he looks human." The boy hopped off the set. "Cover for me, Soos?"

"You got it, Dipper!" Soos took out a cardboard cutout of the boy, Dipper, and continued to act possessed.

Dipper walked into the gift shop and saw Dib talking to a red-headed fifteen year old girl at the counter. "He's charging five bucks for a pencil?! That has got to be illegal."

The teenager, chewing bubble gum, gazed away from her magazine. "Eh, I don't decide on prices. That will be the manager in there." She pointed at the Mystery Museum.

Dipper removed the make up on this face and asked Dib about Zim. "So, what's with that boy believing everything my Great Uncle said?"

Dib turned to Dipper. "You won't believe me, but …. That's your Great Uncle? And he's treating you as a prop?"

The girl laughed. "You should have seen his wolf boy costume."

Dipper blushed lightly. "Yeah, but I want to know what's up with that kid with no nose and green skin."

The girl lifted her head from the magazine. "No nose and green skin? I got to check this out. Cover for me, Dipper?"

"Sure thing, Wendy." Wendy walked away to the museum and Dipper sat behind the counter. "So about that kid?"

Dib knew that the boy won't believe him, but he just couldn't let the truth be silent. "Listen to me very carefully. That boy is no boy. He is an alien that wants to conquer planet earth. I am Dib, and I single handily stopped all his plans that will cause the end of the human race!"

Dipper paid close attention to Dib, but kind of felt annoyed by his loud voice. "Sounds plausible in Gravity Falls."

Dib then turned away with his head facing down. "I knew you wouldn't believe me. It's just that-" Suddenly he jumped up and grabbed Dipper's shoulder. "You believe me!?"

Dipper felt creeped out by Dib's behavior. He slowly removed his hands off. "Trust me, there are a lot of mysteries going on in this town. And they have nothing to do with what my Grunckle has in there." Dipper pointed to the museum with Wendy spying on Zim.

"For Stan's sake, I hope that's an alien. Would of helped him the last time." Wendy said to herself.

"What's a Grunkle?" asked Dib before shaking off his ponder. "No time to answer. Come, we must face him, together!" Dib grabbed Dipper's arm and pulled him back into the museum.

"Ahhhhhh!" cried Dipper.

Wendy looked at the two. "I wish I have some popcorn right now."

Dib pulled Dipper right to Stan and Zim who was taking down plenty of notes. "Alright, alien. I've finally found someone that believes me and wait wait wait." Dib faced Dipper. "Are you like some kind of psychologist that just wants to 'fix' me?"

"But you're just a child!" cried out Soos.

Stan pinched between his eyes. "Not this kid." Stan pointed at Dib. "Look, I'm trying to run a business. I don't want you to ruin this special, I mean different, I mean good kid's day that just want to dive into the mysteries of the strange, I mean abnormal, I mean unknown."

Zim, playing along with Stan, smiled innocently. "That's right. I'm just a poor defenseless human worm that just wants to discover and grow and eat veggies and cockroaches. You're just a mean, crazy, big headed human that will shiver under my feet!"

"That's right!" said Gir …. Not in disguise.

Zim gasped loudly as Dib pointed with glee, and everyone was just waiting for the next weird thing.

"Giiiiir! What are you doing!?"

Then out came the pig from earlier and a girl that looks identical to Dipper who wore a sweater with a rainbow design stitched on it. "Oh my gosh. You must be the little alien this robot told me about with every inch of detail!" the girl latched onto Zim and pulled off his wig to reveal antennas.

Zim gasped as his fake eyes fell off to reveal his true, pink eyes. "NOOOOOOO!"

Stan, Wendy, Soos, and Dipper stared at aw as Dib just jumped up and down with joy. "YOU SEE! HE IS AN ALIEN! NOW ATTACK AND SAVE THE WORLD!"

Everyone was silent and motionless for a bit, until Stan burst out laughing. "What a relief. For a minute I thought I was going to get sued again."

End of Chapter