Chapter Eighteen: Never Live with Regret

~Tessa~

She found some old clothes in the chest of drawers from the other bedroom. They were a bit too large for her waist, but they fit her tall frame rather nicely. She was completely warm and cozy in the flannel pajama pants and button up shirt. She walked out of the room feeling a bit better than she had before everything had happened. With her mind no longer filled with fear and anxiety, she was able to realize exactly how foolish she had acted.

It was pouring outside, and she had thrown a tantrum to keep moving. Will was wounded and it was all her fault. How was he not mad at her? She grimaced at the thought of exactly how angry he should have been as she walked from the second bedroom to the kitchen. It was too dark to really see much of anything in detail, but, judging from the state of the countertops, the house had been raided and left open to stragglers and wild animals. Everything was a mess.

She ignored it, knowing that there was no reason to tidy anything up. They would hopefully be gone by the next day. Tessa wasn't going to push her luck, however. If Will was not better or got worse through the night, then they weren't going to do anything other than sit around and wait for him to become well enough to travel.

She walked into the living room and saw that Emma and Julian had made quick work of a few cans of meat. They sat on the floor in front of the large coffee table, looking completely content, if not a bit sleepy.

"Do you two have a spot that you normally sleep at?" Tessa inquired as she walked inside of the room and took a seat on the chair closest to the entrance.

Both Julian and Emma jumped; they had to be a lot more tired than Tessa had originally thought if neither of them had noticed her entrance. They needed rest, unobservant people ended up dying rather quickly in their world. "Emma has been sleeping in there," Julian said, nodding his head toward the bedroom that Will was now occupying. "I've been out here, trying my best to keep guard. She can take the other bedroom for the night…unless you want it, Miss."

"Just call me Tessa," she told him, "and I think that Emma should take that room. If you want, Julian, you can sleep in there too. I think that the two of you need a good night's rest. I'll keep watch over everything around here. You don't have to worry; you're safe with me."

The kids looked over at her wearily, and Tessa knew why. Anyone could say those words. Tessa smiled at them and said, "I walked out in the rain to get you food. If I wanted to hurt you, I don't think I would have risked my life or my health to give you supplies that I could keep for myself. Does any of that make sense?"

"I've seen a lot of things that don't make sense," Emma informed her.

"You don't have to take the room," Tessa said, holding her hands in front of her. "You can stay out here and sleep on the uncomfortable-looking couches or on the floor for all I care. Logically, though, I think that you would be better off sleeping in a bed. A good night's sleep will make both of you feel a bit better than you do now."

"Tessa's right, Em," Julian told her, nudging her in the side gently with his elbow. "Besides, she has a good point. If they wanted to hurt us, they could have done that without feeding us at all. It makes no sense for them to waste their supplies on us unless they're the good guys."

"Fine," Emma said. She pushed herself to her feet and looked over at Julian expectantly. "Come on, Jules. You look like you could use a few hours of undisturbed sleep."

Julian scowled at her lightly as he scrambled up, "You don't exactly look fresh and vibrant yourself."

Emma rolled her eyes and said, "Are we going to sleep or not? You're the one that thought that it was a good idea!"

Tessa couldn't help but smile at their antics. It was obvious that the pair of friends balanced each other out. Emma was clearly the impulsive one, something that probably got them into as many situations as it got them out of. Julian was the more levelheaded of the duo; he probably tried his best to talk her out of her thoughtless actions and chased after her to help smooth things over when he was unsuccessful.

"Go on to bed," she encouraged them. "Everything's going to be safe. I doubt that Jon, Will or I will be getting any sleep anyway. We'll make sure that no stragglers get inside."

"Okay," Emma said with a slow nod. She walked away from the table and to the door without even looking back at Julian, who was already scrambling after her. Tessa smiled at them and watched as they both disappeared from her sight. Her work with them was finished…for the night anyway.

She slowly stood up and walked out into the hallway. The French doors were opened up and Tessa was able to see Jon and Will from the hall. Her brother was finished looking at his companion's leg and was sitting on the bed next to him. They were muttering a conversation so lowly that she was only able to hear the buzz of their voices. She walked in, too proud to admit that she was curious about their topic of conversation.

"Hey," Jon said, "how are Emma and Julian?"

"I convinced them to get some rest," Tessa said as she made it to the bed. She sat down next to Jon and placed her hand on Will's back in an almost affectionate gesture. "They were weary, but I think that they were also too exhausted to really argue with me about it." She turned and looked at Will a moment later. He had his head resting on the pillow so that he was looking at her from an extremely awkward angle. "How are you feeling?"

"Horrible," Will replied, apparently not feeling like lying. Tessa couldn't blame him; he looked like he was feeling terrible. He probably didn't have it in him to downplay it.

"You need to rest," Tessa informed him. "It's the only way that you're going to get better."

"If I pass out," Will said, "there's no telling when I'll wake back up. I don't want you or Jon to be inconvenienced by that. We need to get back on the road as soon as possible. Jace and Clary are depending on us."

"They're going to need us to be in good shape," Tessa countered, "that includes you, Will. Jon or I can go down to the gas station that you were at tomorrow and we can clear it out. It won't be raining and it'll be a lot safer that way…the way that it should have been done in the first place."

Jon must have heard something in Tessa's voice, because he placed a hand on her shoulder and murmured, "I'm going to go and see if the rain has let up any."

Tessa could still hear the heavy pounding of it on the roof and knew that Jon could too. She was too shocked to really respond as he stood up and walked out, shutting the doors behind him. He was actually going to give them the privacy to talk. She had no idea when her brother had decided to develop tact or that it had even happened in the first place.

Will seemed to have realized what Jon had done, because he grunted as he rolled himself over. Once he was flat on his back, he looked up at her with a small frown. "I went to that gas station on my own, Tessa. You didn't hold a knife up to my neck and force me to do anything. I wanted to go and I was the one that ran into a group of zombies. That had nothing to do with you. It was all a freak accident, and there's no reason for you to blame any of that on yourself."

"I know that you're trying to make me feel better," Tessa replied quietly. "Thank you for it, but don't. You shouldn't be the one comforting me, and it's not right that you're trying to. I pushed you to go, and I didn't even think about your safety. It's my fault and I don't want to hear about it any other way."

"What is it with girls and blaming themselves for everything that happens," Will asked. She saw him roll his eyes at her and shake his head. "Either you freak out and take the responsibility for everything that happens in life, or you take no responsibility whatsoever and shove off the blame of everything on to other people. What does it take to find a woman that just takes the blame for things that are actually their fault?"

Tessa scowled at him as indignation washed over her. "What are you trying to say, William?"

"That I want you to let me take responsibility for my own actions," he replied smoothly, not even hesitating from her tone. He reached his arm up slowly and clasped on to her shoulder. "I'm going to go ahead and tell you that I cannot lean up right now. If you want to give me a hug, you're going to have to lean down."

"What makes you think that I want a hug right now?" Tessa shot back.

"I was hoping that you did, because I want one," Will informed her. "So, what do you say, Tess? Can I get a hug?"

Tessa rolled her eyes as she nodded her head. She didn't think that she would ever be able to deny Will anything; he was just too good of a person, even when he wasn't meaning to be. She leaned over and rested her head against his chest as she wrapped her arms around him. She felt his lift up and wrap around her back. He wasn't really squeezing her, but Tessa knew that what he was doing then was a complete miracle.

"Thank you," Will murmured.

"What are you thanking me for?" Tessa asked him confusedly, lifting her head so that she was look at him inquisitively.

"For hugging me," Will replied. "You make me feel better just by being around me."

Tessa frowned at him, "I don't believe that me being here suddenly stops the pain that you're in."

"No," Will assured her, "It still hurts…a lot. I just remember that the reason that it does is completely worth it."

Tessa leaned forward and kissed him abruptly. She couldn't think of a better way to get him to shut up. He was being so kind and she knew that if he kept it up, even for just a little longer, she would end up crying. The last thing that she wanted was for Will to think that she was overly emotional.

"So," Will breathed when she pulled away from him, "does this mean that you're agreeing to be naked in this room?"

Tessa probably would have been offended if she hadn't seen the playful smile that curled on his lips. He pulled her against him as he started laughing. Tessa let out a small yelp, but eventually settled next to him. "You sleep too," Will instructed her. "Jon already told me that he was taking first watch. He'll wake you up."

Tessa just kept her mouth shut, knowing that Will wouldn't listen even if she did point out that Jon coming in there to wake her up while she was asleep on a bed with Will was not the way that her brother intended to wake her up ever. She would deal with Jon if Will would agree to rest with her in there.

Not two minutes later, Will's breathing finally evened out as he drifted off to sleep. She smiled and closed her eyes, quickly losing consciousness as she listened to Will's breathing and his heartbeat, which was a bit quicker than normal.

~Will~

He woke up the next morning feeling sorer than he had the previous night. He let out a quiet groan as he stretched out. His muscles burned from the exertion and his joints popped loudly. He grimaced at the feeling and wondered exactly how long he had been sleeping. He was still exhausted, so it only really felt like a few hours. Of course that didn't mean much.

He looked down and realized with a small frown that Tessa was no longer by his side. He had liked falling asleep with her there. She exuded a feeling of calmness and comfort that he doubted that she actually felt. It was a nice feeling, however, and it had put him to sleep almost immediately.

He contemplated the thought of getting up and walking around for a moment, but almost immediately pushed the thought to the side. As much as he was sure that his pure willpower would be able to get him on to his feet, he had no idea for how long. He didn't want to give anyone a heart attack with how tense things had been since Jace and Clary's kidnapping. It wasn't as though they needed much incentive for freaking out.

He just looked around the room with a small amount of interest. He hadn't really had time to focus on where he had been dumped by Jonathan the night before. It was a pretty nice place, and the bed was actually very comfortable. It was something that he was actually pretty surprised about. Most places that he had come by had either been ransacked and destroyed, or they were taken over by groups of people.

"We can probably go out right now if you want to," Jon's voice resonated into his room, and Will had a feeling that he was talking about going to that gas station.

"One of us needs to be here with Will," Tessa argued. "He can't fight right now. With his leg, there needs to be someone here that can take care of him if it suddenly gets worse. The kids can't do that on their own."

"We don't know a lot about first aid," another person stated. It was the voice of a younger girl. Will thought that her name was Emma, "but Jules and I can both take out zombies. Do you want one of us to go with one of you guys? It might make things a bit easier."

"Hey!" Will called out.

Silence filled the rooms once again before the pitter patter of quiet steps filled his ears. A moment later the doors opened and Tessa, Will and the two children walked inside. Both of the younger ones were staring at Will curiously. They were probably just surprised that he wasn't a zombie. He couldn't really blame them for that shock. He was pretty surprised too.

Tessa and Jon looked a bit more frantic. He grimaced at his thoughtless act. They had probably thought that there was something deathly wrong with him. "Sorry for scaring you," Will said quickly, giving them an apologetic grimace. "It was necessary, though. I need to warn you about those zombies. They aren't normal."

"What are you talking about?" Jon asked. His light eyebrows furrowed, creating a small crease between his brows.

"They were faster," Will replied. "I don't know why or how, but they were not like any other stragglers that I've come across, which is saying a lot. They were harder to kill, and they were more vicious. I don't know who's going out there, but they need to be careful. Don't underestimate them."

"I'm going," Jonathan announced loudly, "I was the only one that wasn't caught outside in water last night, so I think it might be better."

"I'll go with you," Emma volunteered. "I can help carry things back, and you might need someone to look the other way when you're grabbing something."

Jon and Tessa both looked down at the small blond suspiciously. Will couldn't say that he blamed them. She was just a kid after all. He looked at her himself with a bit of suspicion. "Be realistic," Will commanded. "Exactly how competent are you?"

"You think I lasted this long on good looks and willpower alone?" Emma demanded. "I have to be competent to survive. Our parents drilled survival techniques into our heads every day from the very beginning of all of this. I can take out zombies, and I'm smart enough to know when to run."

"I liked your answer," Jon replied almost immediately. "Okay, you can come with me."

"I don't think so, Em," Julian said with a frown. "I think that I should go instead."

"I can take care of myself, Julian," Emma replied impatiently. "You know that."

"I do—"

"Then it's settled," Emma said abruptly. "I'll go with Jon. When would you like to leave?"

"Now I guess," Jon said awkwardly, and Will could tell why. No one liked to be in the middle of an argument, but Jon was especially awkward. There was just something about his naturally cheerful personality that clashed violently with bickering. It was amusing to watch.

"I'll take good care of her, Julian," Jonathan promised as he reached over and pulled Tessa into a quick hug. "We shouldn't be much longer than an hour. We'll be back before you guys know it."

Julian pulled Emma into an obviously tight hug and held her firmly for a moment before he let her go. "Be careful," he instructed gravely. "I can't lose you too."

"I'll be fine. Like Jon said' I'll be back before you know it," she told him with a smile.

They left the room without another word and a moment later, Will heard the front door close. He sighed quietly, praying that they would be careful and make it back unscathed. At least he had warned them about the advanced zombies, so to speak. They would have a better chance against them that way.

I hope you all liked this chapter. I am so sorry that it took me so long to complete. I had finals all week last week and then moved into a babysitting job on Monday, so I've been painfully busy...and newly addicted to Soul Eater...hehe. Thank you all for the encouragements on my finals; I am proud to say that I passed everything! I actually read a good luck comment from one of you guys right before I went in and took my hardest exam; it made me smile all the way though it…it's probably why my teacher gave me a funny look when I went to turn it in.

As for the story, the plot is progressing (thank goodness) What is happening to everyone? Are Clary and Jace okay? Will the others make it back to the camp, or run into trouble elsewhere? Are Clary and Jace going to be found by Valentine and his cronies, or will someone else find them first? Tune in next time to have at least a couple of these questions answered!