A/N-

Hello again!

Yes, I'm back with another story!

This this is another present-day OOC/AU romance story based on the main characters of Divergent. Of course with the main couple being Tris and Four.

It's a story of how they come to know each other and how they fall in love, despite their obstacles and gaps of time between seeing each other growing up. And the curveballs that life throws at them along the way.

This is kind of a combo Prologue/Chapter 1 (a very long one, at over 10,000 words).

It has some random time skips, as I wanted to cover some various points in their past, so we can learn a little bit about Tris and Tobias' relationship when they were younger, before we proceed with the present-day story.

Please be aware:

I strongly suggest you only read this story if you're of an appropriate age.

This story is definitely Rated M (for language and sexual content).
Even as early as this first chapter you're about to read, it is M-rated material.
So consider yourself warned!

Also, I of course do not own any rights to Divergent, it's characters, or any of the brand names, pictures, etc. that I use. This is simply my fanfiction.

-/-/-/-/- "First and Last" -/-/-/-/-

~Tris POV~

*July - 16 years ago*

"This house is huge." I whisper to my mom as we enter the unfamiliar house and my dad is greeted by his boss.

"Mmhmm." my mother replies quietly. "Remember to smile sweetie." she adds as a reminder, but my dad's boss is still chatting with him as we make our way through the large grand entry way.

"Who's that?" I ask in a whisper, referring to the young boy who sits in what appears to be a living room or study.

"I think that's Marcus' son, Tobias." she whispers back.

The boy, or Tobias as my mother called him, appears to be a year or two older than me, and has shaggy medium brown hair. He's sitting cross legged at a coffee table, where he seems to be quietly doing his homework. He doesn't look up as we pass the room, moving towards the kitchen area.

"Pleasure to meet you Natalie. Andrew has spoken wonderful things of you." Marcus says before turning to me and shaking my hand. "And you're Bea I presume?"

I find it kind of weird for an adult to shake an 8 year olds hand. But I guess it's polite. So I smile, nod and shake his hand back. But I can't help but speak up about that annoying nickname that everyone seems to just assume is okay.

"Beatrice." I correct him softly.

"Aw yes, Beatrice then. Why don't you go join my son? He'll keep you company while us grown-ups get a drink." he says and my mom gives me a gentle nudge to go in the boys direction.

Usually I'm not too bad at striking up conversation and making quick friends. But for some reason I'm suddenly feeling shy. But as my parents and Marcus retreat towards the small wine cellar below the stairs next to the kitchen, I take a deep breath and make my way over.

As I enter, I suddenly get more nervous and begin tugging at the sleeves of my long sleeved shirt.

"Hello." I say quietly from the doorway. But I feel like I'm interrupting him.

"Hi." he says without looking up.

"Whatcha doin'?" I ask after a few more moments of silence.

He looks up then, as if he's surprised I'm still standing there.

"Finishing up math homework." he replies.

"Need any help?" I ask.

He quirks an eyebrow and I almost think I see a hint of a smirk. "Help?" he asks.

"Yeah, why not? I'm bored, and I'm pretty good at math." I say with a shrug.

"How old are you?" he asks.

"Why does that matter?" I ask, furrowing my eyebrows slightly.

He chuckles lightly, which makes me scowl even more.

"Why are you laughing at me?" I ask, sitting down on the floor at the opposite side of the coffee table. I cross my arms and wait for him to answer me.

"I guess I just find it kind of funny that you want to help." he says with an amused shrug.

"Why?" I ask, not fully understanding. After all, I know I'm really good at math. I'm always getting good grades in that subject.

"Because, people don't talk to me very often. Plus, aren't you like, 7 or 8?" he asks.

I huff and roll my eyes. Many people think I'm younger than I really am because I'm 'petite' as my mom has always put it.

"I'm 8, almost 9." I reply. Then I'm curious, is he older than he looks? "How old are you?" I ask.

"9." he says.

"We'll, I could probably do 4th grade math." I say, as somewhat of a challenge. Although I'm not entirely sure what that grade of math actually entails.

He looks at me with an intrigued look, as if he's deep in thought.

"I'm sure you could. But I just finished it all up." he says with a small smile while holding up his paper to show me. "So how about we go play my N64 instead?" he offers with a hopeful look.

I can't help but smile at his suggestion. I'm not only excited that we get to play video games, but also because maybe he's not mean after all, and I like the prospect of a new friend.

As he leads me upstairs, I decide to try and learn more about him.

"Um, so what's your name?" I ask. But after the question leaves my lips, I feel stupid. I already know his name! But I guess maybe he doesn't know that I know it?

"Tobias." he tells me with a knowing smirk. "You're Bea, right?

"Beatrice." I correct, probably sounding harsher than I should.

"Sorry, I thought I heard my dad call you Bea." he replies, stealing a glance at me as we go into his bedroom.

"He did. But I corrected him." I say, sitting on the floor next to him, our backs leaning against the bed.

"You don't like nicknames?" he asks as he begins plugging the controllers into the game system.

"Well, that's the only one I've heard. And I don't really like it, I don't know why. What else would I go by anyway?"

He looks at me and seems to ponder this for a few long moments.

"Tris." he suggests and my eyebrows shoot up in surprise. "You could just be, Tris." he repeats, seemingly feeling how the name rolls off his tongue.

A smile quickly takes over my face. I actually kind of love it. Tris. I feel like it fits me.

"Yeah, Tris." I say out loud for the first time. "I like it." I reply, and for the first time, I see Tobias fully smile. It involuntarily makes me smile bigger.

We end up playing video games for only a short while before we're called down for dinner. Our parents continue chatting about boring work stuff, as Tobias secretly flings a pea at me.

My first instinct was to scowl and be annoyed at him, like I would my older brother Caleb if he were to do it. But when I look at him, he has a mischievous and contagious smile on his face, and his golden brown hair is so shaggy and messy, it looks silly. So instead, I wait for a good opportunity when our parents aren't looking, and fling a pea back.

We secretly keep this up, between having a staring contest. Which fails on both our parts when we end up making funny faces and bursting into a fit of giggles.

-/-/-/-

*July - 12 years ago*

"Alright everyone, look at your sheets to see what group you're in. Then go look for the table that has a sign with your group name. The camp leaders will sign you in and direct you to your cabin." The woman says loudly as I stand on the lawn of the summer camp my parents just dropped me off at.

I was both excited and nervous to go to camp. My parents had insisted it would be a good experience, and said that if I really hated it, I could call them and they'd drive back out and pick me up.

I look down at the sheet that I hold in one hand, my other hand occupied by holding my large duffel bag. It says I'm in group '6', so I search for that sign-in table.

After checking the first several tables lined up, I still don't see it. You'd think they'd be arranged in order, but they're not. So just as turn to check the last few tables behind me, I bump into someone. When I look up, I feel like I recognize this person, but I'm not sure. But I can't deny it's definitely those deep blue eyes that seem so familiar. Plus, the golden brown hair and the slight upturn of one side of his mouth as he says "Tris?"

It is him. Tobias. And he remembers me too? It's been like, what- 4 years since I saw him last? I was only 8 years old!

We had first met at his house for dinner when his father invited my family over. We had played together quite often that summer, whenever our dads had to work on their big work project. We had got along great, playing video games, board games, hide and seek. We even drew up plans for a treehouse. We had felt quite at ease with each other right away. But by the end of the summer, my dad and his father had a falling out. I don't know the details, but from what I heard, my dad didn't like some of the stuff he found out Marcus was doing through work. So he quit and we moved to Milwaukee where my dad was offered a position with a new company. So for the past four years, we no longer lived in Chicago, unfortunately. And therefore, I haven't seen Tobias since.

Milwaukee isn't too bad, or at least not as bad as I had thought it would be. But it still didn't feel like home. I missed Chicago. That's actually one of the reasons I agreed to come to this summer camp, it was just outside my favorite city. And now to see he's here too, it makes it even more appealing.

"Tobias?" I finally reply in question once I shake my head and come to my senses.

He then smiles fully at my recognition, as if he's genuinely happy to see me.

"Long time no see." he says and I smile back.

"I know, right? So I guess you're going here to Camp Dauntless too?" I ask, in hopes of making small talk to avoid any awkward silence.

"Yep, my dad forced me to go here last summer, but it turned out to be pretty fun. So I happily came back this year."

"That's cool. I was kind of nervous to come. But I guess if you like it, I probably will too." I say.

"I'll help make sure you have fun." he says as he guides us more towards the other sign-in tables. "What group you in?" he asks.

"Six." I say.

"Me too." he replies and I have to hold back my grin.

We wait in the small line to check-in and begin to talk about all the fun activities they do here. He tells me a few silly stories from last year and it makes me laugh.

I can't decide if I'm surprised or not, at how quickly we pick back up as being friends. You'd think it wouldn't be this easy after all this time we haven't seen each other or kept in touch. But we've always had a good comfortable vibe between us.

After we check-in, we find out we're in the same building, but it's split into two halves. One side is for the boys and one for the girls. We have an hour to unpack and get settled into our new rooms before lunch. So we separate ways, but agree to meet up to eat together, so that he can introduce me to his friends.

I find my room and it's kind of how I expected- simple. It has wood paneling on the walls, giving it a cabin-like feel, and has 4 bunks, 4 small dressers and a single window.

Only one girl is in here so far and as I make my way in. She's small like me and has short dark hair. I see she's unpacking and getting settled on a top bunk.

"Hey, I'm Christina." she says and smiles brightly at me.

"Hi, I'm Tris." I reply, and I realize I'm standing there kind of awkwardly with my duffle bag.

"I'm the first one here, so I claimed this bed. You can claim any of the others. But we should totally be bunk mates, it'll be easier to become friends." she says, still with that big friendly smile. But now she's back to occupying herself with setting a few belongings in a small shelf above her top bunk.

"Sounds good, thanks." I say and toss my bag on the bunk below hers. I look around and notice that the people with bottom bunks don't have a shelf like Christina does, but we have a small chest located at the bottom of the bed. So I unload my clothes in the nearby dresser, set my toiletries on top, then take my more personal stuff- like my books, sketchpad and tuck them under my blanket and slippers in the chest.

As we do this, Christina and I chat and get to know each other a bit. Turns out it's her first time here to this camp as well, as she's new to Illinois. Her parents thought this would be a good opportunity to make some friends in the Chicago area of which they recently moved to from Boston.

But because I no longer live in the same city, she and I probably won't really be able to be friends. Which stinks, because I see that we easily could be, despite her somewhat loud and obnoxious behavior. She's got a sweet side and I appreciate her honesty. Plus, she's good at making me laugh, and I love to laugh.

I really wish we could move back to Chicago.

As we approach the cafeteria, I tell her how I bumped into someone I know, and told him I'd meet him just outside. But I let her know she can come too.

When we round the corner, I see Tobias leaning against the wall next to the door. He sends me that cute smile when he sees me and I smile back.

Wait, when did I decide he had a cute smile?

I try to hide my blush and turn to Christina.

"Christina, this is Tobias." I tell her, gesturing to him with my hand.

"Hi." she says with kindly, obviously better at being outgoing and friendly than I've ever been.

"She's my bunk mate." I tell him and he nods.

"Cool, I-" Tobias starts, but is interrupted when a boy comes barreling over, practically knocking Tobias over as he yanks on him to make him follow him into the cafeteria.

"Zeke!" Tobias scolds, but laughs at him.

"C'mon, all the good food is going to be gone. I think Sue made her famous mac and cheese today!" the boy Zeke explains as he tugs roughly on Tobias' arm to make him follow him. Tobias doesn't resist, just lets out a small laugh again. But as he is pulled along after him, Tobias grabs my hand and tugs me along too. I grab Christina's hand with my free one and she giggles along with me as we're pulled like a chain into the large building.

We get into the quickly growing lunch line and that's when we let each other go.

"So, this is my ridiculous friend Zeke." Tobias explains once we've contained our breathing and small fit of laughter from our silly entrance.

"Hello girls." Zeke says in a British accent, causing me to chuckle as I roll my eyes at him.

"This is Tris and Christina." Tobias tells his friend.

"Good to meet you, let's all be great friends. But first, let's get some grub. I'm starving!" he says hurriedly with a big goofy smile.

-/-/-/-

Over these past 8 weeks, the four of us became pretty close. We've actually been pretty inseparable, doing whatever activities we can together. Not only has it been awesome rekindling my friendship with Tobias, but I gained a few other great friends in the process.

Summer camp has been so much better than I expected, and now I'm truly disappointed that we all go home tomorrow.

It's currently after curfew, which is 8pm, when all kids are required to be back in their rooms for the night. I promised Tobias I'd 'go to the bathroom' around 9 o'clock, but really would sneak out and meet him by the reservoir. He requested I do so, as it's our last night here together.

So here I sit on the dock, in my pajama shorts and a sweatshirt, dangling my feet in the water.

Without even realizing it, I begin singing softly. It's so peaceful and calm out here. Although it's dark, the moon shines down and reflects upon the water, making it to where I can make out my surroundings. However, even in the quiet still surroundings, I don't hear Tobias approach.

"You have a nice voice." he says, startling me.

"You butthead, you scared me!" I say, playfully swatting his leg from where he now stands next to me.

He just laughs and sits beside me. "You shouldn't call me names, I was only complimenting you." he says with a smirk.

"Right." I say sarcastically, rolling my eyes.

"I'm serious, you have a really nice voice. You should sing more often." he says as begins to dip his feet in the water too.

"Well, fat chance of that. I don't like to sing in front of people. You just happened to stumble upon that." I say, hoping my blush isn't noticeable.

"You mean you'll never sing to me again? C'mon, it's just me." he says, nudging me with his elbow.

"Nope." I reply, popping the 'p'.

"I'll get you to sing again for me one day, you'll see." he says.

"Well you're confident."

"Determined." he corrects.

"And stubborn." I add, and we let out a small laugh. But then I sigh.

"Are you coming to camp next year?" I ask, sad to have to say goodbye to him.

"Yeah, I think so. What about you? You should too. We could hang out all summer again."

-/-/-/-

*August - 9 years ago*

"You know what, screw it, there are going to be 197 cupcakes." Tobias says as he snatches one of the chocolate cupcakes from the tray and begins to peel off the paper to eat it.

"Tobias!" I scold, but I'm laughing at his mock sneaky behavior.

We have been put in charge of dessert for the end of summer party that happens tonight. Christina and a girl named Monica had been assigned to help.

They had started to help out, but about 50 cupcakes in, they realized I was doing most of the work anyway since apparently I'm the only one with actual baking skills. So they ended up leaving early to go get ready for the party.

Tobias holds a finger to his lips to shush me. "Nobody will notice." he whispers.

"That's your third one!" And I laugh more at his shrug and signature smirk.

"C'mon, I'm the official taste tester. Can't feed a bunch of kids these cupcakes if they're no good. Plus, they always have leftovers." he says.

"Well, what's the verdict then? I assume they meet your standards if you're on your third one?" I tease, knowing damn well that I make a good cupcake.

"Best I have ever had. Seriously, Tris." he says as he finishes it off. I swear he must have only eaten it in two or three bites.

Then he is licking his thumb that had some remaining frosting on it. My eyes move to his lips and I instinctually lick mine.

It wouldn't be the first time this summer that I've caught myself looking at his features like that. I guess it's probably because I'm noticing certain changes developing in my friend.

Each summer that we see each other here at camp, he gets a bit taller, his shoulders a bit broader, his voice a bit deeper. I guess that's expected when boys go through their teens.

But I also notice other certain little things, like his slightly more defined jaw, the bit of stubble on his face, which I assume shows up if he doesn't shave for a couple days? Does he shave already? I don't know when boys start that. Then there are the way his eyes smile, and how his smile is utterly contagious to me. Plus, he just gets more and more funny, smart, and intriguing.

When I realize I'm staring, I clear my throat and turn back to decorating the last few cupcakes, relieved to have something else to focus on and hopefully by turning away, he won't notice the red tint to my cheeks that I'm sure is there.

Out of the corner of my eye, I see him begin to clean up the rest of the kitchen.

Although this is the fourth year we've spent together at summer camp, this is our first year as camp junior-leaders. Once you hit 15-16 years old, that's what you lead up to if you want to attend Camp Dauntless.

Although it's extra work as a junior-leader, rather than just a camper, it's still a lot of fun. Plus, neither of us were about to turn down an opportunity of going to summer camp, considering we still live in different states. So it's the only time we get to see each other. 8 weeks per year.

But unfortunately since Tobias' parent's divorce is finalized, he and his dad are moving to California. He wanted to stay in Chicago with his mom and younger sister, but in the divorce settlement, his dad got Tobias in the deal. So he won't be able to attend camp next year.

I haven't decided if I'll come back. I know I'd probably still have fun. He's not the only reason I come back each year. But it wouldn't be the same without him.

"That's the last one." I announce once I place the last cupcake on the platter.

"They look great. You're awesome." he says, taking in the sight of them all.

"You're messy." I tease, reaching out to wipe the small smear of frosting on his cheek. Before I realize what I'm doing, I bring my finger to my mouth and suck the remnants of the frosting off it.

Even though my tongue got nowhere near him directly, it still felt oddly intimate and I'm instantly embarrassed and flush with heat again. So I do my best to act like nothing happened and pick up one of the many trays lined with cupcakes.

"Help carry them over to the pavilion?"

"Of course." he replies, seemingly shy and slightly awkward.

I guess my little frosting fiasco didn't go unnoticed. Great, the last night at camp, last night seeing Tobias, and it's going to be awkward. Well, if he's living in California and I'm in Wisconsin, I probably won't ever see him again anyway.

I sigh and continue on my way out of the kitchen and towards the pavilion where the party is to start in 2 hours.

After a few trips and gathering help from Zeke, we get all the cupcakes lined up on the assigned tables.

Once that's done, we go our separate ways to clean up and change before going back to the party. I'm happy to get out of my frosting covered hoodie.

On my way towards the girl's cabins, my mind is racing a mile a minute.

Was Christina right? Do I have a crush on Tobias Eaton? I don't know what's up with me this summer. But, things feel...different. But, good different. I don't know what this all means. I don't know exactly how I feel about him. But I do know that it doesn't matter, because tonight's our last night together.

As promised, I show up to our bunk room by 5pm and allow Christina to help me get ready.

Much to her dismay, she's not able to get me in one of her tiny, more revealing dresses. But I do put on the more tasteful yellow dress I brought. And I let her curl my hair and apply some makeup.

Once we all arrive, all of the junior leaders gather around to run the various game booths that they've set up, as well as making sure that the tables of food and drinks stays stocked.

Just as I set out more plastic cups, I feel someone walking towards me. I look up to see Tobias and when he gets a full look at me, he looks slightly surprised. I guess maybe it's because I'm not in an old camp t-shirt and my hair isn't in a ponytail or messy bun.

"Hey Tris." he says shyly.

"Hi." I reply, feeling shyer by the moment as well. "What area are you assigned to run tonight?"

"I um, I'm supposed to run the knife throwing station over there."

"Not surprised." I say with a smile. He's known to be a talented knife thrower and helped teach it over the summer. As I had done with the baking. But that doesn't mean I wasn't a pretty good knife thrower too. Tobias taught me well.

"Do you, uh, do you want to meet at the reservoir after the party?" he asks, rubbing the back of his neck with his hand. Is he nervous?

"Sure, the usual time and place?" I ask.

He nods in response just before one of the leaders, Amar, comes by and pulls Tobias along with him, saying all the kids will be arriving any minute.

-/-/-/-

The party goes well. Although it's the first one we attend where we're not really able to hang out with each other.

It ends up wrapping up just at curfew time. So Christina and I head back to our bunks. But instead of getting in our pajamas and going to bed, we stay up and just have girl talk. After all, it's the last I may see her too.

Around 9 o'clock, I tell her I'm going to the bathroom. She just gives me a knowing smile.

"What?" I ask.

"I know you're off to meet Tobias at the reservoir." she says. "Like you do the last night here every summer."

I smile and look down at my shoes.

"Fine, I am. You won't tell anyone, right?" I plead.

"Of course not. You know I wouldn't stand in the way of young love." she says holding up her pillow, as if assuming I am going to retaliate to the comment physically.

"I told you, I don't have a crush on him!" I say, but the small smile that dawns my face as I say it, makes it all the less convincing.

"Whatever you say. But just remember, it's okay to let yourself have crushes. You're 15 years old after all." she says as if having to constantly remind me.

"Goodnight Christina." I say with a shake of my head.

I sneak out and head in the direction of our meeting place.

When I arrive, he's already there, sitting at the edge of the dock, feet dangling in the water.

I sit beside him and slowly dip my feet into the cold water as well. It ripples slightly and I admire how the moon reflects off the water.

We're quiet at first. Just sitting side by side in companionable silence. It's still comforting sitting here like this since it's Tobias at my side. I've always felt safe and at home around him. But tonight, there is an extra amount of sadness is in the air.

I can't help but feel upset about our circumstances. Honestly, I'm feeling so many emotions right now, that it's a bit overwhelming. Eventually I decide I'm sad because it's fate saying we're not meant to remain friends, or at least not during this time in our life. So I can only hope he doesn't forget about me. But I wouldn't blame him if he did. He's an incredible guy, and he has his whole life before him. I'm just the girl he hangs out with during the summer.

"Promise you won't forget me." I blurt out after a few minutes. "Just...remember our time together. We made good memories, right?" I ask, my lip quivering slightly.

He pulls his gaze from the water to look at me. I feel vulnerable as I'm unable to read his reaction, so many emotions crossing his face.

He pauses, looking down at his hands, then back up to me. Staring straight into my eyes.

"Tris, you didn't just come into my life, you became a part of it."

At his words, I immediately feel a lump in my throat, and I have to will myself not to cry.

I'm still speechless a moment later when he decides to continue.

"I don't know what our future holds, but I'll never forget about you."

I simply nod and swallow thickly again.

"Do you believe me?" he asks.

I shrug with a sad smile, giving him a weak nod. He seems so genuine it's hard not to believe him. But we're only 15. A lot could happen in our future.

"Have you ever been kissed?" he asks.

This takes me off guard and I look at him in surprise. I almost start to randomly choke when grasping for air to breathe, but I recover quickly.

"What?" I ask, dumbfounded.

"Have you ever been kissed?" he repeats, a small shy smile playing at his lips.

My cheeks tint pink for about the 100th time this summer as I shake my head no in answer to his surprising question.

"Well, neither have I. So how about we be each other's first kiss? Then you'll never be able to doubt that I could forget you. And then I know you won't forget about me either. Because nobody forgets their first kiss." he explains.

"You want me to be your first kiss?" I ask, still surprised at his proposition.

"Yeah, I couldn't think of anyone better." he says shyly. "But I understand if you don't want me to be yours." he adds, sounding less confident and even more nervous now. He looks back down at his lap while biting his lip.

"Tobias, I would really like for you to be my first kiss too." I say, having a sudden boost of bravery as I lay my hand across his where it is holding onto the edge of the worn wooden dock. My heart begins to thud in my chest and my mouth is suddenly completely dry. But still, I can't think of anything I'd rather do than kiss him right now.

He turns to me, looks over my face for a couple seconds, then we both start to lean in.

My eyes instinctively close as we inch towards one another.

Our foreheads bump together at first, but we don't acknowledge it besides a short chuckle, which subsides as we both tilt our heads slightly to press our lips together more solidly. The instant his soft firm lips press to mine, I forget all the sadness and doubt, and just focus on the wonderful sensation my mouth is fortunate enough to be receiving.

I had no idea how good it would be. Is this what kissing always feels like? Or is it just because this is Tobias?

I can't believe I'll never see him again.

After we pull away, we both smile shyly at each other. I can't help but bite my lip, while attempting to get my heart rate back to normal.

I see him swallow thickly and fidget with the hem of his shorts.

"I don't think I'll be forgetting that." he admits shyly.

"Me either." I reply, smiling down at my lap.

"Here, I brought a pen. Write your address down on my hand. My dad probably won't let me make many long distance phone calls. So we'll have to write to each other." he says.

I smile and blink back my tears as he hands the pen over. I take it as I jot down my address on the back of his left hand.

"I'd give you mine too, but I don't know what the new one is yet. I'll write to you as soon as I get settled there though, I promise." he says and I realize I'm still holding his hand.

We stay like that for a little while, before we know it's time to head inside. They'll be doing room checks soon.

But before we part ways, he gives me a long lingering hug. And at the last moment, I steal one more quick kiss before turning away.

I glance over my shoulder one more time before opening the door and he's still standing there smiling. I give him a small wave, and he returns it, before we head into our own rooms.

-/-/-/-/-

*June - 7 years ago*

After arriving home from school, I head straight to the mailbox. Just like I do every day.

But I grin as I pull out the stack of mail and immediately spotting an envelope with familiar writing on it. The writing addressed to me.

I make my way inside my house and set the remaining pile of mail on the kitchen counter, before quickly making my way upstairs to my room. Where I plop down onto my window seat and bite my lip as I eagerly tear into the letter.

Not only does the letter update me on his life in California and all that's happened since I heard from him a couple weeks ago, but it also tells me he will be in town to visit soon. And he will be here for at least 3-4 days. Which makes my heart sky rocket at the thought of actually seeing him after all this time.

True to his word, as soon as Tobias had settled in California, he sent me his first letter.

And we've been corresponding back and forth via old fashioned mail ever since. Which means it's been almost two years. We don't usually go more than a couple weeks between letters. But as his first year of college comes to an end, along with my senior year of high school, it's been tougher to stay on top of our routine.

Amongst this time, he and I have still remained great friends. If anything, getting to know each other even better despite the 1700 mile distance between us.

He and I haven't really ever mentioned our kiss. And we don't really talk about relationships. I guess if he were to have a girlfriend, he probably would have mentioned it. But sometimes I wonder if that's true. Even though we're close...what if that's just an area he prefers to keep private?

Not that it would matter. He has every right to date or whatever. He and I are just friends, and live on opposite sides of the country. But I guess Christina is partially right, something in the back of my brain tinges with a spark of jealousy at the thought.

But I guess when you have a young crush, it never 100% goes away. And I can't help but have occasionally wondered what kind of experiences he's having out there in California besides the ones he writes about. Of course my exaggerated teenage mind just pictures a bunch of pretty California blondes and the cheerleaders cheering him on in short skirts at his football games before they all go off to party together.

But once again, I don't let my brain divulge too much into those thoughts. If he wishes to keep that bit of his life private, I'll respect that. Even if I am feeling emotions and feelings I'm not really familiar with, I ultimately just want him to be happy.

When I stare down at this letter, I realize how fortunate I've been to have kept up this friendship with him. How many guys can you imagine making the effort to hand write and mail letters almost every weekend? I shouldn't even be considering the thought of something more between us being a possibility, I know our situations. He goes to UCSC, and I'm going to Le Cordon Bleu in Chicago. Nowhere near each other. Plus, a friendship with him is better than nothing. He's one of my best friends, and I don't want to ruin what we have. I'm already worried we'll lose touch.

I re-read the paper in my hands and admire the silly picture he drew at the bottom, like he always does, as if it's part of his signature. And I grin to myself.

I get to see Tobias. Finally.

-/-/-/-

*A couple weeks later*

Just as I turnout my bedroom light and flick on my bedside lamp so that I can read until I fall asleep, I hear rustling outside the window.

It startles me at first, especially considering I'm home alone. But then I realize who's making those noises. I should have known. He's done this every night he's been here.

"I can't believe you're sneaking in here again. What if my dad catches you?" I ask Tobias as he gently closes my bedroom window behind him.

Even though we had just innocently snuggled under the covers as we watched back-to-back episodes of Arrested Development, I don't think my dad would have been very happy if he caught my 18 year old male-friend cuddled in bed with me at midnight, even if he does genuinely like Tobias.

"He won't know. I didn't make the dog bark this time." he whispers to me with a goofy smile as he plops onto my bed next to me where I sit cross legged in my pajamas.

"Yeah well, I guess it's also a good thing he and my mom are at some work gala out of town and won't be back until tomorrow afternoon." I tell him and I realize it kind of sounded suggestive. I don't say anything else, not wanting to further embarrass myself. But I feel my cheeks grow warm.

"Even better. Now we can be as loud as we want." he replies while tackling me playfully, tickling my sides, knowing I can't take being tickled like that.

After a few minutes, through much maneuvering, I finally wriggle out from under him. Just as our laughter begins to subside, I realize I have somehow made my way on top of him. We're flush against each other, our faces just inches apart as my hands attempt to hold his arms above his head so that they're not within reach of my ticklish sides. As we catch our breath, we hold each other's gaze, and I swear his eyes seem to darken to the deepest shade of blue I've ever seen them.

It feels like time slows down as we hold our stare.

I try to fight the thoughts that I admit occasionally invade my mind late at night.

The thoughts of what it would be like to kiss him again, what he would look like with his shirt off, what his chest and arms would feel like beneath my hands, what he looked like below the belt...what it would feel like for him to take my virginity...

I suddenly come back to reality and go flush with embarrassment at my dirty thoughts. And remembering our current position, I bolt up, distancing my face from his.

But I obviously hadn't thought that through completely, as I'm now essentially straddling him, my knees on either side of his hips. And I feel it.

I swallow thickly as I realize he's hard beneath me. Right beneath where I seem to crave friction. The part that seems to be radiating heat, and feels so good pressed against him, that I can't control the noise that escapes my mouth as I feel it twitch in his pants.

If it weren't for the barriers of his jeans and my flannel pajama pants, I'm sure he would feel the moisture gathering in my underwear.

At my noise, he sits up, coming face to face with me again. He looks at me nervously as begins to explain.

"I-I'm sorry. I can't help it." he says, looking over my face apprehensively.

"It's okay, I understand." I say with a small shy smile. "I guess I'll take it as a compliment? Or simply that you're a teenage guy having the expected reaction to a girl straddling your lap?"

He chuckles softly and looks back up to my eyes, seemingly a bit more at ease from my words.

"Definitely take it as a compliment. And I don't just have any girl straddling my lap right now." he clarifies with a sweet smile.

His response catches me off guard, but yet again, I blush at his words.

"Tobias..." I admonish, not knowing how to reply to that.

"Can I be honest with you?" he asks.

"Of course." I say without missing a beat. But my heart pounds in my chest.

"I...I like you. A lot. I have for a long time. You have an effect on me..." he admits, cutting himself off there.

"What?" I balk.

And that's when I notice his cheeks tint pink too. And it's so endearing and adorable and sexy, that I start grinning like an idiot.

"Hardy har har." he says, as if my goofy smile is mocking him. "Tease me all you want. It's still the truth."

"I'm not teasing you...I just...you're so sweet." I say, my nerves coming back slightly now that I'm talking. "And that's really flattering for you to say. I'd...say the feeling is mutual." I add carefully.

That damn smile of his. The way his eyes smile first, then the sides of his mouth follow. I swear one day he's going to get me off just by looking at me like that.

I lean in, slowly at first, eyes darting between his eyes to his lips, still somewhat unsure of this. But then once I'm a few inches from him, my bravery takes over and I crash my lips to his.

His lips are even better than I remember.

I try not to think about how he may have gotten practice back in California. Instead, I just focus on how he tastes and feels as our tongues caress one another. And the effect he has on me.

After a few moments, I feel his hands trail up my arms, before one arm goes around the small of my waist to hold me close. His other hand lingers still, but as I notice it inch closer to my boob, I arch my back, pressing it firmly in his hand.

He groans at my action, only taking a couple of seconds before he begins massaging my breast through the plaid flannel material of my button down long sleeved pajama top.

He seems surprised, but pleased at the fact that I'm not wearing a bra. I was getting ready for bed after all.

As he caresses it more boldly, I instinctively roll my hips against him. The movement causing us both to let out a throaty noise as we pull away from our kiss and press our foreheads together.

"Fuck Tris, if you don't stop doing that-" he tries to warn, but it just boosts my confidence and desire for him.

"Remember how you were my first kiss?" I ask.

"We were each other's first." he corrects with a smile, placing a few light kisses on my neck.

"What if..." I begin, but I don't know if I can get the words out. Am I really about to suggest this?

"Have sex with me?" I blurt out. I clap my hand over my mouth, surprised at my straightforward request. I cover my face with my hands for a moment to regain my thoughts on how to re-word that. "I mean, I've never..." I say, slowly peeling my fingers away from my eyes to steal a glance at him, only to find him watching me in wonder, an unreadable expression crossing his face.

"Tobias, how...would you feel about being my first at that too?" I ask softly.

His eyes are still wide in surprise when he replies. "I think you know how I feel about that idea." he says, rolling his hips back against me, similar to how I had done a few minutes ago.

With the movement, I get an even more thrilling sensation at the feel of his erection pressing against me. "But, Tris...are you sure? That's not something you can take back." he says.

"Trust me, I've thought about it before. I just never thought I'd have the guts to actually suggest it." I say and he smiles sweetly at me. "I know we have lives in opposite sides of the country, and we're both getting even busier...but I really can't imagine my first time being with anyone else." I explain, hoping he understands I don't just want to use him.

I want us to share this experience together. Especially since it'll probably be my only chance to be with him like this.

By the way he looks back at me after that little rant of an explanation, he seems to have made his decision.

He begins to kiss me again, fast and determined. His sweet soft lips melding with mine for a few long moments before I feel the wetness of his tongue seeking mine out.

As he continues his kisses down my neck and to my collar bone, he leans forward and begins to gently lay me on my back.

Once my back presses against the comforter of my bed, he reaches for the waistband of my pajama bottoms and slowly drags them down my legs, leaving my lower half in just my simple white cotton underwear. I'm glad I remembered to shave when I showered this evening.

He begins to kiss me again as his hands roam to my top, undoing each button until my I feel the cool air against my nipples.

He pulls back slightly and looks down at me adoringly. I lift up to remove my top completely and toss it aside. Then I reach for his and help him remove it before flopping back down onto my back.

He looks down at me with lust filled eyes, his breath quickening like mine.

"It's my first time too." he says, "And I couldn't imagine it being with anyone else either."

I can't help bite my lip and smile at his words. It makes my heart swell with love and excitement that we'll share this together.

"You are so beautiful." he adds and leans in for another sweet kiss.

Eventually his hand reaches down to touch me outside underwear, running his long fingers up and down. I let out what I can only describe as a whimper and I feel him smile.

I try not to make any more noises, too embarrassed at what I probably sound like. And trying not to focus on how self-conscious I am at the feel of how wet I am. But I can't help the mewl of pleasure that escapes my mouth as he slips his hand beneath the cotton and his long rough fingers find my bare folds.

"Wow..." I hear him say under his breath, as if he's in awe at the feel of me.

The rawness of that single word, making me feel sexier than I've ever felt.

I lift my hips and reach down to slowly push off my underwear as he watches me unabashedly.

"You have to get naked too ya know." I say, feeling somewhat vulnerable by how much more exposed I am than he is.

"Don't worry, I will. But I have a feeling I uh..I won't last long. So I'd like to do something first, if it's okay with you." he suggests, looking down at me with an adorably hopeful look.

"Okay." I agree, trusting him completely. I always have.

He smiles in appreciation before giving me a quick kiss on the lips. Then he scoots back and lays on his stomach before me, his face level with the apex of my thighs. Of which he takes in each of his hands to spread my legs. He looks down at me there, with a look of hunger and need, and it somehow puts me more at ease. Despite my pounding heart and sweaty palms, he makes me feel desirable and comfortable with him.

Then his mouth his on me. Kissing my inner thighs gently at first, then moving his way up.

He moans as his kisses align with the point where I need him most.

Then his tongue begins to paint designs all over my flesh, luring me to that ethereal summit somewhere beyond my tangible grasp.

My climax hits me quicker than I expect, and before I know it, I feel my body pulsing in pleasure against his hands and mouth.

After I come down from that ultimate high, he makes his way up so that we're face to face again, and smiles down at me adoringly again.

"That was amazing." he says, his voice coming out even deeper than usual.

I immediate snort and laugh. "That's an understatement." I reply, voice thick with exhaustion from what he just put my body through.

He smiles and I begin to unbutton his pants. He doesn't stop me as I push them off his hips, boxers going down along with them.

A subconsciously intake a gasp of air as I take in the view of him.

I've never seen a penis in real life before, but I can't help but completely admire it. It stands tall, hard and ready. A moisture glistening at the tip, making it all the more enticing to touch. It's...breathtaking.

It's bigger than I imagined, so a part of me is nervous it will hurt. How the hell is that supposed to fit?

But as his kisses continue on my neck, and the more I anticipate what comes next, the more excited and eager I get.

He gets up from the bed briefly to retrieve the condom he says he keeps with him 'just in case'.

"We don't have to do this if you don't want to. I want you to be 100% sure." he says.

"I'm very sure of this. I promise. As long as you really want this too." I tell him honestly, with an encouraging smile.

Which he returns as he hovers over me, our most private of areas coming within inches of each other. I wrap my arms around his shoulders, pulling him closer, until he brushes against my opening.

"Promise you'll tell me if you want me to stop." he whispers, waiting to continue until I agree to that request.

"Of course." I reply, turning to kiss the skin of his forearm that is braced next to my head.

He then leans down to capture my lips with his as he slowly pushes into me.

But both of our mouths go slack once he's sheathed completely. The sensations almost too overwhelming for either of us.

His head hangs in the crook of my neck and I can tell he's giving me a moment to adjust, which I'm thankful for, as there is definitely some pain from being stretched in such a way. But it was expected, and after a few long moments, it becomes much more tolerable.

I flex my hips slightly to implicate he's good to move, having a feeling that it will help.
He gets the message, and begins to rock back and forth, slowly sliding in and out. As he does so, the dull pain is pushed aside and my brain focuses on how truly incredible it feels. The physical feeling of his movements, the weight of him above me, moving against me in such an affectionate and loving way.

I can't imagine anyone else in the whole world having the ability to affect me like this. To deliver me to this foreign, sweet rapture. Something so intimate, so real, so magical.

As we look into each other's eyes and he gets into a slightly faster rhythm, I feel the tingling sensations begin to build up in me all over again. I wasn't really anticipating for it to happen a second time, but my body is reacting quickly to his, and I know I'm close again.

It's not long before his hips jerk a little more sporadically, as if he's losing control.

"Tris...I'm gonna-" but before he can finish his sentence, I feel him pump in a few last times, slightly harder than before, and then his body shutters against mine. The combination of the way he groans in pleasure and muffles my name, and the feel of him pulsing and releasing into the condom, pushes me over the edge again.

He collapses on me momentarily, breathing heavily against the skin of my chest.

"Wow..." he says under his breath, just like he said earlier.

"Wow..." I repeat under my breath too, but knowing it's loud enough for him to hear.

After we're cleaned up and snuggled back in my bed, with me tucked into his side and his arm around me, we lay with our eyes closed. But I know he's still awake like me, not quite ready for this night to be over with. We both know this is one of our last night's together before he goes back to California. We both have a lot of feelings swirling around, and I know we're both thinking about how much we're going to miss one another. But we don't need those words. Nor can we get ourselves to say them.

It never gets easier saying goodbye to him. In fact, it gets harder every time I find myself having to do it.

So we just lay there, enjoying each other's embrace and the contended silence that fills the room.

Until, just as I think he's about to fall asleep, he tilts his head slightly so that his lips are against my ear.

"I just want you to know...I love you." he says. "No matter what, I always will."

"I love you too. Always." I reply.

And it's true.

Sure, I have no idea what our future holds. Or if I'll ever get to see him again. But I know the love I feel for him is real and strong, and could never go away.

I can only wish him the best, to hope he has a wonderful and happy future ahead of him. And that maybe, one day, I'll be a part of it again.

-/-/-/-

*September - 7 years later* (Present Day)

I slide the tray of croissants into the glass display case, before standing back to appraise my selection of goods for the day.

Before opening my shop, Sweet Pea Bakery, I hadn't anticipated it doing quite so well. It started out kind of slow those first couple of weeks, but word started to spread about my place and it picked up quickly. Now business is thriving and I have a staff of 10 people, including myself. They mainly run the front end or help do dishes, since I was becoming much too busy with the cake orders coming in each day.

I'm thankful that Christina helped me get this place started. After hinting that she has a business degree and could be of great assistance, I happily offered her the role of Manager. She was excited to accept, and has been doing great at her job ever since. Now we've been open almost a year, business is still doing great, and our crew here feels like a happy little family.

Just as I'm trying to decide if I should make another batch of orange cranberry scones, I hear the jingling bell on the front door. I turn to see the adorable smile of 4-year old Jack as he bounds through the door. His brown hair mussed, and as usual, he has an action figure in hand.

Jack is one of my favorite little customers. He's been coming here with his Aunt Julia for the last several months. They usually stop by a couple times a week for a treat, his favorite being the various assortment of cookies to pick from.

It started out as a quick visit to get what they wanted, then they'd be on their way. But as time went on, they became 'regulars', and our conversations grew, and they'd often linger and hang out at one of the tables to have some hot chocolate. Over time, I'd say Julia and Jack had become friends of mine, rather than just customers or acquaintances. Although I hadn't known them all that long, Julia was naturally outgoing and friendly, and something has always seemed so familiar and comforting about her.

And Jack- well, he just brightens my day every time he sets step in my bakery. Always cheerful and adorable, always making me laugh. And he always seemed to enjoy my company too, which made my heart swell. I felt honored to be so well-liked by this young boy.

I've come to the conclusion that I probably won't ever have kids, since I'm no good at the relationships. But underneath, I know in my heart that I really wish that I'd have that opportunity to have children one day. And that if mine turn out to even be half as sweet and wonderful as Jack, I'll be happy.

"Hi Sweet Pea!" he exclaims excitedly, running to hug my legs from where I stand on his side of the display case.

Once he found out that I owned this bakery, and that I was 'Sweet Pea' - so to speak, he's always called me that. Just like my dad did. Which is where the name came to be in the first place.

I ruffle his hair with my hand and then squat down to be at eye level with him. "Hey Jack, how are you?" I ask, not being able to contain my smile at how precious he is. "Is this a new Batman toy?" I ask, referring to the action figure still in his hand.

"Yeah! I love Batman." he says with a grin. "Do you?"

"I do, he's one of my favorites." I reply. "And I love his cool car and all his gadgets." I add and he grins even bigger.

"Well, are you here for a cookie? I made your favorite- chocolate fudge with white chocolate chips."

His eyes light up with excitement and he nods. But then he seems to remember something.

"I'm here with my dad! He said I can order my birthday cake from you!" he says, running over to the counter where he knows I keep an 'idea book', full of pictures of the cakes I've done.

At his words, I finally turn my head towards the entrance. Assuming for the first time, to meet Jack's dad, rather than Julia.

But the person standing before me is not who I expected to be standing there. It's someone I haven't seen in years, that I didn't even know came back to Chicago. And now he's here, standing all of about 10 feet away from me.

Tobias Eaton.

-/-/-/-/-

Thanks for reading!
Please review, follow, favorite, etc. to let me know what you think!

This first chapter could kind of be a one-shot on it's own, as-is. But I plan to continue this story a bit longer. I'm not completely sure yet, but I predict this story will be roughly 6-10 chapters total, although each chapter will be much smaller than this one.

As usual, I'll be making picture collages to correlate with these chapter updates. They'll be posted on my Tumblr - madisonr1129

If all goes according to plan, I should have Chapter 2 posted next weekend.

Ractre1127- As always, thank you for your incredible assistance! You're amazing!