Chapter 9: Let Go

Robin doesn't watch Regina leave. He doesn't need to. He can feel it. It's the same ache that haunted him back in Sherwood, the ache he tried and failed to convince himself was in response to Marian's frozen state. It simplifies things. He used to think that to be an honorable man he needed to stay with Marian, the same way he thought that he was an honorable man because he was keeping his vows in word, if not in his heart. But the ache he feels as Regina walks away changes everything. It shifts his perspective. He sees everything differently now than he did in the weeks since Marian returned. He hasn't been staying faithful, he has been lying to her. It has to stop.

Emma and Snow make excuses that fall on deaf ears, leaving Robin and Marian alone. She smiles up at him and reaches for his hand.

Robin perches on the side of the bed, holding her slim hands in his. He stares at that hand for a long moment. It's almost as familiar to him as his own. He thinks if he had any artistic skill he could replicate it down to the small jellybean shaped mark on the side of her ring finger and the subtle blue webbing of her veins beneath the skin.

"Do you want to talk about her?" Marian's voice cuts.

Robin flinches. Was it that obvious? "I'm sorry," he says, and he is. But now that the worlds have started they don't want to stop. "I thought if I could just forget her, forget her and remember how things were with you that everything would go back. But she… Gold actually, took away every memory of her and things didn't snap back into old patterns." He runs his free hand over his hair, leaving the blonde strands standing on end. "I knew I loved you, and I did, I always have and always will, but it wasn't True Love. The kiss failed and I knew, I knew, even if I couldn't admit it to myself that there was something missing and it wasn't just you…"

.

Marian squeezes Robin's hand and lets him talk uninterrupted. His words hurt less than she thought they would, perhaps because there is a lot in what he says that speaks to how deeply he once loved her. She knew something was different. He hasn't been the Robin she was married to since she came back. And there was that moment her first night in Storybrooke when he chased Regina out into the night. It had seemed too strange to understand then, but today it was clear. What she couldn't have anticipated was how readily Robin is spilling his heart. The Robin she remembered was never this free with his feelings, even when he wanted to be.

"I couldn't, I can't leave you." His tone is rueful, and the expression on his face reminds her so strongly of their son it makes her want nothing more than to give him a reassuring hug.

"Why not?" It's a genuine question. She knows he holds vows sacred, but for him she has been dead for decades longer than they were married. It seems like the 'until death we do part' section of their vow should give him the out he needs to be happy.

"I made a vow—"

Marian laughs, she does still know him after all. "Robin, I will always love you. You're the father of my son, you were my first love, and you're a wonderful man. But you are no longer the man I married. You were a widower longer than you were ever a husband, and I should have set you free long ago."

"Marian..." His voice is pained, but there's a brightness in his eyes she realizes she hasn't seen in a long time. She thinks it's hope and it stabs at her with sharp recrimination. How desolate and guilty he must have been in those first weeks of her return.

"We can get some papers or whatever it is you do in this land to make it official if you want." She shrugs. "I don't know how such things are done here. But as far as I am concerned, you have fulfilled every vow you ever made to me and now you are free."

Robin leans forward and presses a gentle kiss on her forehead. He whispers 'thank you' against her skin, his breath ruffling the wispy hairs along her hairline. When he pulls back he can't hide the upward quirk of his lips.

She's grateful he doesn't prolong his thanks. She knows this is the best thing for both of them, but that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt. Robin has been alone for decades, but for Marian their separation lasted only weeks. But that also means she sees the changes the time has wrought on her husband (former husband, she corrects her own thoughts). He's… she struggles to find the word she wants. Before today she would have described him as sad, but he's not sad today and the more serious aura persists. He's wiser, steadier, and all around mature in a way he wasn't before. She suspects some of this has to do with the mere passing of time, but she imagines being single father to a son who never ages for decades must ingrain a body with a super human patience. But she also thinks some of the change is because of Regina. For once Marian can think of her as Regina instead of the Evil Queen. The woman Robin has spent more time than she thinks he realizes describing bears no resemblance to the woman who sentenced her to death in the Enchanted Forest. Somewhere in the years Marian skipped by travelling through the portal, Regina became a compassionate, selfless woman. Surely no one could have predicted that!

Robin clears his throat. "There's someone waiting in the hallway to see his mummy, do you feel up to it?"

Marian nods quickly, suddenly she is desperate to see her son. They will have to explain all of this to Roland at some point, but given the number of stories her son has told her about Regina, she doesn't imagine he will see much to complain about.

Roland barrels into the room as soon as Robin opens the door and flings his little body up onto the bed, already talking a mile a minute about the great beam of light that was in the sky and does she like squirrels? and Little John makes the best griddle cakes.

Her eyes meet Robin's for a moment and they exchange a fond smile. One ear absorbing the sound of Roland's chatter, if not all of its content, Marian mouths "Go."

Robin gestures with his chin towards Roland and shakes his head no.

Marian rolls her eyes and says softly, "I promise I'll take good care of him. Doctor Whale says the curse did no lasting damage. I will escort our little man back to camp once my release papers are all in order. You need to go."

Robin doesn't make her tell him again. He smiles again, his eyes a little misty with gratitude, kisses Roland and then her on the head and leaves. He pauses at the door to look back at the family he is leaving but will never lose and Marian can't resist telling him to 'thank her for everything' or the giggle that rises up when he blushes a little before nodding. And then he's gone and it's just her and her son.

Marian turns all her attention to Roland. "Tell me more about the squirrels. Do they look like the Sherwood squirrels?"

.

Regina is standing beside Lake Nostros. The surface is so clear it is like glass. There's no tentative touch of the surface this time, she steps straight in, wading until the water laps, cold as ice, as the base of her spine.

A figure rises up in front of her. Its eye crinkle into a smile and Regina takes another step into the water as if pulled by the power of those smiling eyes. She doesn't even feel cold, just wet. And then there are a pair of arms twining around her and those eyes, those beautiful, bewitching eyes, are slipping closed as Robin's familiar lips descend for a kiss.

She lets him draw her under the water. She feels safe and cherished and she doesn't care that she's dying. This is the way she should go: in Robin's arms, his lips on hers.

Her heart is pounding against her ears as they sink deeper into the lake. It sounds like someone is knocking from the outside.

Even more slowly that the last few precious bubbles of air escaping her mouth, Regina floats upwards towards consciousness. She forces her sticky eyes, half glued from crying, open. The knocking hasn't stopped.

She staggers more than walks to the door. Her body aches, though from the physical or emotional strain she couldn't say. She unlocks the bolt and opens her door. She's still dreaming. Surely this isn't real.

"Robin? What are you…?" But he doesn't let her even finish the question. His lips claim hers and he presses her, unresisting, back against the wall, pushing the door shut with one arm, the other firmly twined in the hair at her temple.

She breaks away after a minute, her lungs desperate for air, her brain swimming with questions and accusations and fear that this really is still a dream and any moment she will wake up all alone on the couch with only some cheesy TV special for company. "Robin... What about Marian?"

"Set me free." He says, his fingers brushing almost restlessly over her skin as if to assure himself she's really there. "I told her..." His eyes are glued to hers, his pupils so dilated she can see her own dazed expression in the blackness. "I told her everything, and she set me free."

"Everything?" Regina is having trouble drawing breath. There's an aching hope in her chest threatening to erupt into tears at any moment.

"Well... Almost everything. I told her you were my second chance, not my second choice." Robin punctuates his statement with a kiss to the side of her mouth. "How you are selfless and good." Her cheek. "How you love our son." Her temple. "How you tried everything you could to protect my family."

Regina closes her eyes, letting him rain kisses all over her face as he talks. A tear slips from beneath her eye lashes and he kisses it away.

"But I didn't tell her I wanted you even when I couldn't remember knowing you. I didn't tell her that every moment we were in the enchanted forest I felt like there was a hole in my chest, like I would never be happy again." Robin continued. "And how I knew that wasn't because she was frozen, even if I didn't know what it was. I didn't tell her how when you bite your lip when you're nervous I want to kiss you so badly I can hardly breathe." His mouth hovers over hers for a moment, but he drops it, pressing a kiss against the pulse point on her throat instead. "Or how your skin always smells just a little like apples." His tongue flicks out to taste her. "Or how when you're in a room it's like everything else is muted, only you're in full color."

Regina is crying now. Tears she thought had spent themselves falling down her cheeks too quickly to wipe away. But these aren't like the tears she sobbed out so painfully on the floor. They're being pushed out by a warm, radiating feeling in her chest. She thinks it might be joy.

Robin pulls her against his chest, the soft cotton of his shirt absorbing her tears. He strokes her hair, pressed his lips against her hair, and breathes her in while she cries. He doesn't try to shush her as a shuddering sob shakes her frame. When she quiets down and her breathing begins to even out he pulls back so he can look straight into her eyes.

"I will always love my former wife, but I am In Love with you, Regina Mills. The evil queen with the soft spot for children. You are my happy ending. That is, if you'll have me."

Regina smiles so widely she thinks her face might crack, a laugh of pure happiness bubbles from her throat, and then his lips are on hers and she stops trying to name the feelings coursing through her body. Names don't matter. Nothing matters, except his hands pulling at the hem of her shirt, his breath on her skin, her name on his lips.

a/n: I hope you have enjoyed reading this half as much as I enjoyed writing it. This was definitely a story I wrote because I had to. I adore Regina and the denial yet again of her happy ending broke my heart. Writing this went a long way towards healing it. Although, I'm still waiting on tenterhooks to see how the show will right our ship. Please review :)