Summary: Leia's in a bad place after Yavin, and Han's the one who helps her out. Two shot. Post-ANH, slightly AU-ish, potential trigger warning.

Disclaimer: I don't own Star Wars or Patent Pending's amazing lyrics. No copyright infringement intended!

A/N: Based around a head cannon I've had for a while surrounding Leia after Alderaan that I finally decided to write down. Feedback is very appreciated- hope you enjoy reading!

On The Edge

She stares down at the world below
Fools herself to thinking she should just let go, I know
I wish she knew she wasn't so alone

-Patent Pending, One Less Heart To Break

Against the darkness of the night sky, pinnacles of light rose from the ground below as if trying to touch the stars. They'd never each them, obviously, but who needed buildings to reach the sky if you could get there in a ship anyway? Vehicles never flew this high, up where the winds were strong and hostile. They milled further down, well below the fully reach of the skyscrapers, forming patterns of intertwining light that moved and danced beyond the edge of the roof.

It was strange, she thought, how small the city looked from up here. So insignificant.

As if it wouldn't care if someone fell through it and hit the invisible ground below.

Leia had come to the conclusion that it wouldn't. She'd had that conclusion all week, had thought about it all week, and even though she knew what she had to do and had the ability to do it…

Putting it off hadn't helped. But she'd wanted to know, wanted to make sure. She'd thought she was certain, this time around. This would be when she'd do it, no going back, no question about it. Obviously telling herself that everyday hadn't made it any easier.

This bit was meant to be simple. It was just one step, after all. A tiny decision and then would be over. One second was all it took. One second.

She'd been standing there, gently buffered by the wind, for a good ten minutes, and hadn't moved any closer than half a foot from the edge.

Because now, leaning over the parapet and watching the airspeeders create trails of light against the darkness below, was when the doubts returned. The conflicting thoughts began rising up again, replacing the numbness she'd felt for the past few days. That should be relieving, Leia thought detachedly, so why isn't it?

She knew the response, of course; because she was ready now, and however much the sadness went away in this moment, it would always come back. Always.

There was only one way out. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes.

I'm so proud of you, Leia…it's a dangerous mission, but I know you can…you prefer another target? A military target?... when we heard about Alderaan we feared the worst… hey, Leia, what's wrong? It's not my fault you're so shut off all the time, your Highness!...

And with that, all of it returned- all the grief, the anger, the guilt. It was reassuring, having it back. And in that moment, she was ready.

Passively, her thoughts drifted to falling. She'd thought it might be freeing, almost, just letting herself drop. Sort of like flying. That was it- she'd be flying through the skylanes. Some part of her liked the idea- she felt a small smile on her lips as she leaned out over the space below.

Someone grabbed her from behind.

One arm across her waist, the other across her chest, holding her arms against her body, the person pulled her back from the edge with strength that surprised her. Heavy breaths sounded in her ears, accompanied by her own ragged breathing as she tried to escape. The arms were too strong; they formed an immovable cage around her.

"Let go." She tugged against the stranger's grip, not currently caring who it was or why they were here, merely needing to reach the edge while she was still ready.

The arms just tightened. "No."

The voice stirred something inside her when she recognized it; something that for reasons she couldn't explain made her relax a little into his arms.

Han.

"Look, I-"

He wasn't listening. As if she wasn't even resisting, he pulled her further back, to the middle of the rooftop, next to the air conditioning units. "Sit down." He said gruffly.

She reluctantly did so, albeit with difficulty, as Han never let go of her. Once she was seated, he grabbed her wrists instead of wrapping his arms around her, and she was forced to meet his eyes. His hair was mussed by the wind, like his shirt, and in the darkness she could only just make out his features. But the deadly seriousness in the eyes currently fixed on hers was impossible to miss.

It made him look older. Different. It almost made Leia do a double take.

"Tell me why." It wasn't a question.

She didn't know how to answer, all the same. "I don't want to explain," she said finally. "I just have to."

"No," he shook his head, the effort of restraining his temper showing on his face. "No, you don't."

Leia gritted her teeth and made to stand up. She got maybe two seconds in before Han shoved her against the metal casing behind, the harsh crash making her wince.

"No." He dragged her down again and this time she let him without pulling back. "Sit here and talk to me."

"What exactly do you want me to say?"

"I want you to talk to me."

Leia looked down at his hands, still tightly clenched around her wrists. Han noticed.

"If you want me to let go, you have to promise me you won't run off," he told her. "Promise?"

She glanced back at the edge. The certainty had faded away again, now a dull ache in the back of her mind. And she couldn't exactly do it while he was here, watching her, anyway. No, she wouldn't do that to him.

"I promise."

"Okay." Cautiously, Han released her arms. She remained where she was, and realised when he didn't move away that they were close, maybe two feet apart. If the wind died for a second, she'd be able to feel his breath on her face. "Now talk."

"I don't think-"

"Try."

She looked away again and closed her eyes. Trying to sum it up in some kind of coherent way was difficult- most of the time she didn't fully understand it herself. And now here was Han, Han Solo of all people, expecting her to tell him what was going on. Luke she could've tried, maybe, but despite his contrary actions, Han was still the one person she could never be around, never trust with anything important.

And there was no way he cared about what happened to her.

"You don't understand." She said quietly. "It's not important."

"Now, listen, Princess, that isn't-"

That was it. She felt her emotions erupt, and since it felt good to release them she did. In the best way she knew: lashing out at Han. "Why are you even here? It's not like anyone, much less you, cares what happens to me- you wouldn't care if I jumped-"

"Don't you dare." His voice was harsh, but he hadn't raised it as she'd expected him to. She was surprised to find that this quiet anger was somehow even worse. "People care about you. I care."

"No you don't! If people cared, they'd listen! They'd let me be human, let me feel, instead of having to be so… so fine, all the time!"

She'd gotten to her feet again before she even became aware of it, but even as her mind acknowledged it Han was stood and grabbed her shoulders. He shook her. "Leia! Listen to me, for gods' sake!"

There was a moment of unexpected silence as his shout echoed in her ears. Then her vision blurred, sobs rose in her throat, and she felt her knees give way. She hit the durasteel with a jarring clatter, but barely heard it over her own distress.

"Sweetheart…" Han dropped next to her, the pressure of his hand coming to rest on her back.

She tried to ignore the comforting warmth it generated. "Don't call me that!" she screamed through tears. "Leave me alone!"

The hand didn't move. "Shh," he murmured gently. "It's okay. Shh."

She felt everything escaping. Images of her father, her mother, all the friends and family she'd left behind, appeared in her mind's eye as she cried; words and emotions whirled by faster than she could grab them. She was losing it. But it felt good.

She didn't know how long she crouched there, bent almost double and shouting incoherently into the night, but eventually the tears dried up. Throat hoarse from screaming, Leia took a couple of shuddering breaths. Feeling slightly embarrassed, as Han was still knelt next to her, she pushed herself up into a sitting position.

Han's hand slipped down to rest between them- she found her eyes inexplicably fixed on it, a solid anchor in a galaxy that felt increasingly like it was slipping away from her.

"Come on," Han said finally. "It's cold. We should go in."

She drew her knees up to her chest. "Just leave me alone."

"You know I can't do that, sweetheart." He told her quietly. He wasn't leaving her out here by herself. Not after what she'd almost done tonight… he let out a soft sigh as he took in the fragile figure curled up beside him. None of this made any sense to him, especially the fact that she wasn't acting like herself. At all.

"Don't make me carry you inside."

Leia didn't move.

Han shook his head and edged closer so he could place an arm across her shoulders. The other he slipped through the V her legs made, enabling him to lift her up as he stood.

"Han…"

"Hey, I warned you," he reminded her, a smile brushing his features.

She shook her head a little and pressed her face into his shoulder. Something twinged inside his chest and he found himself cradling her closer, his body shielding her from the wind. Now he was forced to decide what to do. He couldn't just leave her in her room- there was no guarantee she'd be there in the morning. And taking her to the medical wing was out of the question…

Of course. Why hadn't he thought of it before?

It took Leia a few minutes to realise they'd changed course. "My room's back there," she informed him as he entered the ninth floor turbolift.

He pressed the button for the ground floor. "Maybe we're not going to your room."

That was apparently good enough for her, and immediately the car fell silent again. Han belatedly realised that he could barely feel Leia in his arms- she weighed next to nothing. Her body was tiny, anyway, but he was becoming increasingly aware of her ribs sticking into his arm. Her pale, ashen skin, not able to be considered healthy, was even more washed out under the turbolift's lights. Had he been blind to this before? How had this happened in front of everyone's noses?

Maybe Leia was right. Maybe people who prentended to care were pushing her too hard, too quickly.

He silenced those thoughts instantly. After all, he cared. And he'd missed it, too.

The doors slid open even as another thought rose in the back of his mind- since when have you cared about her?

He left it unanswered.

"Chewie?" Han strode up the landing ramp, still carrying Leia. It was late, almost midnight, but he hoped the Wookiee was till awake.

At least the late hour had meant there wasn't anyone to notice him on the way over from the hotel. The hangar was only a couple of blocks away, but Han had half expected someone to stop him and ask what he was doing with a well-known Princess/ex-senator half asleep in his arms.

He wouldn't have had an answer for them.

"Chewie?"

"Where are we?" a soft voice sounded from his shoulder.

"The Falcon. You're staying here tonight." he replied, ducking into the crew quarters. There were three bunks, arranged against the walls- Chewie was sitting on the furthest one, tinkering with some machinery. He raised his head and barked an inquiry at Han.

"It's okay," Han nodded, "I'll put her in mine."

"I'm not sleeping with-" her old indignation made him smile a little.

"Relax. I'll bunk in the crew quarters."

His own room was just round the corner, and not much bigger than the cockpit; the bunk took up the far wall, but there was room for a little storage unit with a lamp and chrono. However sparse, Han had come to rely on this tiny room almost as much as he did the ship itself. And now the relative lack of contents was a good thing: there was nothing a suicidal young woman could use to hurt herself.

That was what he hoped, anyway.

He laid Leia on the bunk and straightened up. Leia's eyes were on the ceiling above him, but appeared to be looking right through it.

"I'm going to lock the door. Knock if you want anything."

She didn't reply.

He managed to contain a sigh of exasperation and turned to leave.

"You're serious, aren't you?" Han spun back around. Leia was watching him now, her eyes steady and unwavering.

"Yes," he said finally. "And one day you're going to thank me for it."

She held his gaze for a few moments, then looked away again. He took that to mean the conversation was over.

"Goodnight, Leia," he said softly.

For a second he didn't think she was going to reply. Then her quiet voice came from behind him. "Goodnight."

His feet paused by the cabin's threshold as he felt the constriction in his chest again. Then he keyed the door shut and took a deep breath, wondering whether he'd done the right thing.