Secrets Still – Epilogue

A/N – I hadn't planned on an epilogue but I will admit that I wasn't quite satisfied with the story ending with Jean and some of you kind of said as much and I don't blame you. I couldn't sleep as I thought about an ending so I was up all night typing and proofing. This is for those who were so kind to give such detailed reviews and opinions or asked for more, particularly dawnkind, Gabreya, nakala and 6MAROON ROSE9. Thank you for inspiring me!

-xox-

Jean never found Scott. After packing a bag as fast as she could she sneaked down to the garage, got into her car, and sped off to Greenwich Village. Once there she'd driven around frantically trying to find a parking space and finally found one many blocks away. She ran all those blocks to Dr. Strange's Sanctum Sanctorum but as she crossed the street in front of his headquarters she was struck by a car. And no, Ororo was not at the wheel and it wasn't Logan driving either. It was a simple honest accident, the driver shaken tremendously, for Jean had raced across the street without looking in either direction. She'd been in such a hurry hoping that Stephen would be able to aid her search for Scott. And maybe she did find Scott in whatever afterlife she experienced but that would be an entirely different story.

"Don't look at me like that. Yeah, I'm not gonna go ballistic like the last time," Logan growled. "You know, I wonder if any mind wiping stops when the person that did the mind wipin' dies? Guess it doesn't seein' as how no one's lookin' at me an' no one ever mentioned how I acted at Ororo's funeral.

"She was really crazy I think. Guess I didn't help matters. But she changed after the whole Phoenix stuff. She wasn't the woman I loved back then. I didn't see that 'cause I wanted her to still be that young girl I thought was so fresh an' sweet an' innocent an' caring. Everyone grows up an' changes but I blamed her for not bein' the old Jean. I was too hard on her. What? You don't think I was? Really?"

Lockheed shook his head in response.

"You see a lot of stuff we don't see little fella so I'm gonna take your word for it. Makes me feel a little better too. I've been . . . I don't know, maybe out of it, my games been off. Life's been one hell of a nightmare up till now. Now it's a whole lot better, an' I don't mean 'cause she's dead but I ain't gonna lie, I'm glad as hell she's dead just don't go repeatin' that to the twins, bub."

Lockheed snorted in reply. He was used to Logan's diatribes so this was a welcome change. Like Logan he had been thinking of Ororo's funeral when Logan had been completely drunk and shouting accusations that no one but the two of them had believed. The memory of Logan trying to choke the red head woman made Lockheed snicker. He didn't dislike Jean but he didn't mind her being gone for good. Or at least he hoped it would be for good. He remembered that she was the Phoenix. But something told him even if she was able to capture that entity again somehow she would seek out Scott rather than Logan. He couldn't blame here there.

Logan hadn't been very nice to Jean over the years but then again she'd killed the woman he'd fallen in love with while they were married. Or maybe he'd fallen in love with Ororo when they were sneaking off those times before he married Jean. Lockheed didn't know the answer to that. He wondered why humans were so intent on messing up their lives. His was simple. He loved Kitty and she loved him. She married Peter and he found he had room in his heart to love the Russian just as he loved Ororo and Logan because they meant so much to Kitty. Love was everything, he thought, and there was enough to go around, enough that if everyone would just embrace it the world would be a better place. So simple and yet so very hard for the large humans. Small humans were more like him.

He hoped Logan saw that now, what the little humans instinctively seemed to know. He'd thought maybe Logan wouldn't attend Jean's funeral because he'd be too bitter but the Wolverine had made a last minute appearance as Hank gave his eulogy. Lockheed observed that Logan was a changed man and he was happy for his friend. He was happy altogether because Ororo was alive again and he'd missed her soothing presence but also because Kitty and Peter were happier than he'd seen them in a long time. The couple had been happy despite ups and downs in their relationship but now they were nearly jumping with joy. He didn't even mind that they'd been spending nearly all their time with Ororo. It had only been a few days but spending time with a happy Logan made up for it. Lockheed and Logan had become very good chums which is why when he saw the straggler settle in the back row he'd left Kitty and Peter and Ororo. He was certain that Logan would need a friend today of all days.

"He's here," Kitty whispered to Ororo from the front row of chairs that had been set up on the lawn for Jean's funeral.

"I know but I think he needs a little time to himself, after all his wife is dead."

"It's kind of weird in a way, don't you think? How Jean wasn't really close to any of us except maybe Hank. She kind of shut herself off from us after her little girl and everyone else died in that attack. I felt sorry for her but then she had Logan and I thought they were happy for the most part. But I'm still a little confused with you being back and her leaving without so much as a goodbye and now you're with Logan."

"Sssh, Katzen," Kurt whispered as he leaned over Ororo to make his point to Kitty. "What is, is meant to be and we have our Ororo back, now sssh!" he added but he smiled at Kitty despite his warning.

Peter who was sitting on the other side of Kitty chuckled and winked at Ororo who grinned, feeling happy and grateful. Surrounded by her loved ones Ororo felt so much love. She almost wished she had returned sooner but she was sure that would have made for a very unhappy reunion. No, she'd done the right thing by waiting. Love was so worth waiting for.

"I think I will check on Logan now," Ororo said.

"I'll go with you!" Kitty volunteered eagerly and would have jumped up to tag along if Peter hadn't held her back.

"No, Katya, stay with me and the children," Peter said, mindful that Ororo would probably want to be alone with Logan for a change.

"But I . . ."

"Give them a little space, dear," Peter insisted.

"I love you, Kitten," Ororo said as she took hold of Kitty's hand and held it tightly. She let it go momentarily but ran her hand over the top of Kitty's hand before she simply disappeared.

"I love you back but I'm never going to get used to that," Kitty said and she tucked an arm through Peter's. "I love you too you perceptive man you."

"I love you back too," Peter said and kissed the top of his wife's head then draped an arm over her shoulders.

Lockheed leapt from Logan's shoulder when Ororo appeared out of nowhere. He snorted in annoyance but then he landed on Ororo's shoulder and nuzzled her ear a little. Ororo always knew just how to pet him where he liked it the most. He sighed as her fingers stroked him gently. He was glad she was back. And he was glad that everyone could be happy now. He knew her children would be happy after a time because everyone loved them and would be there for them. Love was the key to life he knew and after thinking this he flew off to his beloved Kitty.

"Lockheed's a good listener," Logan said as Ororo sat in the empty chair next to him. "He put up with a lot of crazy stuff from me when you left. I think he probably kept me sane just by listening to me. How're you holdin' up darlin'?"

"Me? Oh, I am perfectly fine. I wish I were not but I had no love for Jean. I wish I did. I wish . . ."

"Don't even say it. I dragged you into all this, it was my fault an' I'm the only one to blame. I should've left you alone, I didn't because I couldn't. I loved you only I guess I didn't know what love really was back then. I don't want you to feel guilty for my crap, you got that?"

Ororo smiled.

"I just want you to be happy. I'm gonna do everything I can to make up for being the stupidest guy who ever lived."

"Well, you'll have a lot of making up to do," Ororo said, half teasing, half serious.

"I know it. What say we get married today? I already got the license. Kurt can marry us."

"Wouldn't that be too soon?"

"Not soon enough."

"I think you should ask your children what they think."

"Why? They ain't the one's gonna be married to you."

"I don't wish to be on their bad side."

He laughed. "That's never gonna happen."

"And yet . . . "

"Okay, okay, whatever you want. I'll see what they say but if they say it doesn't matter then you're gonna be my wife in a few hours an' then we're gonna go away for a while. Between Kitty, Kurt an' Hank, and the others I can barely say hello to you!"

"That's really sweet of you, Logan. Do I mean that much to you?"

"You mean everything to me, Ro. I know it now an' I ain't gonna let anything get in the way of us being together. You an' me, we're gonna have everything we should've had if . . . "

"No more if's, alright?"

He looked at her, saw how serious she looked and so he nodded. "No more if's," he agreed and leaned over and pressed his lips gently to hers.

"I can't believe papa's kissing her at our mother's funeral!" Rose wailed. She was sitting in the first row of seats alongside her brother. A damp tissue was balled up in her hand and her eyes were red rimmed.

"I can't believe mom's dead," Jim said.

"This is all her fault."

"If you mean mom's fault, yeah, you're right. Pop said she wasn't the same after she went all dark Phoenix and stuff."

"I meant it's Ororo's fault, not mom's even if it is really mom's fault. But that wasn't really her, she wasn't the Phoenix that killed that planet. She was in that capsule in the ocean."

Jim shrugged. He wanted to go. He wanted to pack his bags and get on the next flight back to Oxford and just not think about everything that had happened in such a short time.

"I hope she's with Scott now," Rose said.

"I wish she hadn't gone off trying to find him. She'd still be here."

"I wish she was still here with us too!" Rose sobbed.

"I guess karma's a bitch," Jim muttered.

"You know mom wouldn't want you cussing," Rose said.

"Yeah, I know. She wanted us to be happy too and she wanted us to be okay with Ororo. You can't blame Ororo for mom being hit by a car. And mom wasn't the Phoenix when she did what she did to Ororo, she knew what she was doing."

"Are you okay with her and papa then, Jimmy?"

Jim looked back at Ororo who was wrapped in his father's arms. He frowned. Ororo hadn't been back but a few days and he hadn't said anything other than hi to her. Kitty, Kurt and Hank and his father were always hanging around her. Even Monet and Rahne and the others were seeking her out. Everyone thought she was perfect or something. It was obvious she'd been a good person the way they were all so glad she was back. What's more he knew she'd stayed away but had still watched over him and his sister. He appreciated that. He'd had a family because of that and he'd liked their family dinners every night and talking to his father before bedtime, sometimes getting his father to play a video game with him.

He was glad his mother wasn't really a murderer too even if she really kind of was. And he'd always wanted to thank Ororo. He'd thank her too one day just not any time soon. It was going to take a while for him to get used to her and her being with his father. Still, he knew his mother wanted him to treat her right so he would.

"Yeah," he said. "I'm okay with pop being happy."

"I want him to be happy too but not at mom's funeral."

"What the hell, mom's dead an' doesn't know what's going on. She'd be bored to death the way unc's goin' on about her. Let's just get out of here an' tell pop to go on an' marry Ororo today an' get it over with. We'll go back to school tonight instead of tomorrow an' deal with it later. I hate all this funeral stuff!"

"You always want to deal with things later just like Scarlet O'Hara."

"So, why should we make pop miserable just 'cause we are? That's not what mom wanted."

Rose was silent as she stared at her father and Ororo. After a bit she shook her head and said, "You're right, that's not what mom would want. I don't like it though. I just wish he'd wait for a while."

"Like I said, we're leaving, what's it matter really?"

Rose pressed her lips together and for all the world she looked just like her deceased mother. "I wish I could hate Ororo but I don't. I don't know how I feel any more. Mom killed her so that makes our mother the villain like you said but mom wasn't evil. She was just hurt and betrayed. I know pop said nothing happened between him and Ororo and I believe him but mom must have been so hurt to do what she did." She shook her head trying to make sense out of her mother's crime. "But you're right, Jimmy. Mom said she wanted them to be together so I won't say anything. Oh, how I wish she wasn't dead!"

"I think you should let me go," Ororo told Logan.

"Darlin' I ain't never lettin' you go."

"Rose is watching us and she doesn't look happy."

"Oh. Right." Logan quickly released her and tried to look somber. In fact mostly everyone there was trying their best to look somber as Hank droned on about the goodness of Jean. Most of them barely knew her. Kitty had summed it up well when she'd told Ororo that after Jean's child died she had never associated much with anyone. Whether it was to hide her failing marriage or from depression who was to say? Hank, who was closest to her but was too preoccupied with Ororo, had done nothing to bring her out of her reclusive state and so neither had anyone else. Now they were saying goodbye to a woman who was almost a stranger to them. Little did they know that the mind blocks Jean had put in place had a lot to do with that.

"And finally, let me end with a heartfelt, Jean you will be missed greatly. And, Logan my friend, would you like to say a few words?"

Ororo and Logan looked at Hank in shock and then they looked at each other.

"There ain't nothin' I can say that you didn't already say," Logan replied from his seat. "Well, maybe that she gave me the best gifts in the world. Ya couldn't ask for two better kids an' . . ." he stopped because Jean had freed him to be with Ororo and he didn't know how to say that without hurting his kids. "She wanted me to be happy after I made her life hell. That's the Jean I'll always remember, the Jean that sacrificed herself for the people she loved," he ended.

"Bravo," Hank said and then he made his way to his seat as Kurt came up to say a prayer before the burial.

Like his son Logan just wanted it to be over with but for a different reason. He yearned to make love to Ororo. He'd ached to make love to her ever since Jean had set him free but nearly every moment, day and night, people had been crowding around her wanting to spend time with her. Old team members had flown in to see her and then they'd gotten the news of Jean's death and more people showed up. His initial reaction once he'd heard the news of his wife's death was relief but he'd quickly been sorry for feeling that way as he thought of his children.

He'd tried to keep his happiness from showing when he'd told them of their mother's death. Neither had said much to him. Rose had cried. He'd expected that since she was a crier like her mother. He hated when women cried but he'd awkwardly held his daughter until Ororo, Kitty, Peter, and Kurt and Hank had come into the room. None of them had realized what they'd just interrupted. And Rose abruptly pulled away from her father and walked out followed by her brother.

His children had barely spoken to him or Ororo. He had a feeling they didn't like her but he was sure if they would just try to get to know her that they'd love her. Maybe he was seeing things through rose colored glasses but he longed to be with Ororo. He needed them to accept her. He had missed her for over twenty years. He had hoped and prayed that she would come back to him and now she had. And yet it still felt like everything was against them. He was sure his kids probably hated him. He also knew he wouldn't do anything to turn them against him.

Still, he remembered telling himself that if he found love again he'd never let it slip away from him like he had before. Ororo loved him just as he was. She hadn't complained when he'd brought her to his run down cabin, she hadn't complained that a quickie wedding wouldn't be enough and he knew she wouldn't demand a real wedding later with all their friends there. No, this woman was just who she always was, beautiful, considerate, selfless, confident, accepting. He could go on and on about how wonderful she was. She wasn't perfect but damn near perfect.

Fortunately for Logan and Jim the burial was quick and simple. Hank and Jim and Rose cried though Jim fought hard not to. Logan couldn't help holding Ororo's hand. He tried to stand still but it was hard not to fidget. He wanted to move, to jump, to dance, he felt so giddy with joy. And later that night after Kurt had pronounced Logan and Ororo man and wife, after Rose and Jim okayed the marriage though they didn't attend the ceremony but left for school early, Logan carried his bride to his cabin. Kitty and Peter had quickly cleaned the cabin once they heard the news and everything was neat and homey.

"I ain't perfect you know, Ororo but . . ." Logan said as he gently lowered her to their bed but Ororo laughed and cut him off.

"You do not have to tell me something I already know," she countered.

"See, that's why I love you so much, darlin'. You're so damn near perfect for me it's uncanny. I'm no where near perfect like you but I'm gonna do everything I can to make you happy an' make up for the past."

"I expect that, after all I have waited a very long time to be with you."

"You do realize that we've got a whole bunch of lifetimes together don't you?"

"I do."

"You don't think you're get tired of being married to me, eh?"

"I might."

"Really?"

"I'm only teasing, my love. I expect life with you, forever, will be a challenge that I welcome and that I will enjoy."

"I love you," he said. "You'll never know how much, Ro."

"I have a good idea, just don't stop telling me."

"That's a promise. A hundred years from now I'll still be telling you how much I love you."

"And now, no more words, show me, make love to me my love. I have waited for you for so long and oh how I have missed your touch."

"Mrs. Howlett, you don't even know how much I've been wantin' ta make you mine," Logan said, smiling down at his wife. And he kissed her very gently before he complied.

He felt as if he were reborn, a new man full of hope, for his dreams had finally come true. More than anything he wanted to make this woman happy for the rest of their lives. No, he needed to make her happy for the rest of their life for they were one now and always would be. He would let nothing ever come between them again and he meant that with every part of his being. He lavished her in love that night and continued lavishing her in love as the decades passed.

Never once did he ever dread going home to his wife. Returning to Ororo was the greatest joy he knew aside from spending time with his children and grandchildren and then his great grandchildren. And Jim and Rose did grow to love Ororo who had never forced herself on them but always respected them and gave them room. She turned out to be an excellent step mother and grandmother and great grandmother. Her natural love for Logan's children grew as she got to know them so that they became her children too. She took their deaths very hard though they both lived to a good old age.

Once Logan had feared outliving all his loved ones but with Ororo by his side he had no fear of anything. Yes there was deep sadness when Kitty and Peter, Kurt and Hank and other team mates died and the pain he felt when finally his children's time came was nearly unbearable for who wants to outlive their children? But there was always utter joy leaping within him so truly happy he was to still be with the woman he had always loved but for years had been too blind to see. Love meant everything to him and he never took it nor Ororo for granted ever again.

~Finis~