The Big Reversal Theory

September 26, 2007

Sheldon and Leonard quietly drove home from their failed endeavor at the sperm bank. Leonard was distraught. He should have known that their pursuit to masturbate for money was foolhardy at best given Sheldon's aversion to anything remotely pertaining to the act of coitus. Leonard had tried to point this out on the way to the facility, but Sheldon had avoided the conversation by starting a discussion concerning the difference between particles and waves, double slit experiments and t-shirt ideas. Now in the car, having already collected their Indian food, Leonard broached the subject again.

"Sheldon, I am surprised you agreed to this idea at all given your lack of male hormones and infinitesimal interest in sex." Leonard glanced sideways at Sheldon. His lanky friend responded quite fervently.

"Excuse me! First off, it was my idea, remember? Fractional T1 bandwidth in the apartment is a must have and I hope you have another idea to obtain extra money, because we still need faster downloads. Secondly, I have hormones; I just choose to ignore them and not allow them to run roughshod over my endocrine system. Lastly, and most importantly, depositing my genetic material so that some eager woman may create a new being with superior mind, and coitus are two drastically different things." Sheldon looked over at Leonard driving and finished his rant, "Though you have only had an infinitesimal experience with sex, I would think you would know that."

"Oh I know that! I am surprised you do." Leonard had never discussed Sheldon's sexual interests. They had been roommates and friends for over 4 years, but in all that time, Leonard had never noticed Sheldon show any interest in anyone; regardless of gender. Leonard was dying with curiosity.

"Have you ever been interested in anyone, Sheldon?"

"I find lots of people interesting, Leonard. Stephen Hawking for one. Did you know that Stephen Hawking was born on the 300th anniversary of Galileo's death? Another underappreciated genius like myself. The Nobel committee should send him an apology like the Catholics did for Galileo. Probably have to wait hundreds of years as well. Philistines."

Leonard rolled his eyes like he always did when Sheldon went off topic, "No Sheldon, not like that. I mean… Ya know…Sexually interesting. Didn't you ever have anyone who got your motor running so to speak?"

Sheldon snorted, "My motor is only running for the pursuit of science, not rumbling idle for banal quests of the opposite sex."

"Yes, but Sheldon… You must have gone through puberty. Even during adolescence, when your endocrine system is wild didn't you find anyone appealing. Male or female?"

"Well, if I were interested, it would be female. But to answer your question, no, not really. During that time, I was busy with my masters and first doctorate. Also that time sucked of Cotillion training before I got sent to boarding school."

"There you go: Were there any girls you had to dance during Cotillion that caused you to feel anything? Maybe take a second look." Leonard raised his eyes, but that only caused Sheldon to roll his.

"I'll say this with all the deportment training I can muster: Hell no."

"Okay, what about actresses on TV or movies. Uhura is pretty hot."

"Yes, as is Julie Newmar as Cat Woman, but no." Sheldon paused and looked out the window, "However… Now that you mention it, my sister used to watch a show with a rather fetching young woman. I think I found her appealing because she danced so well and I admired that quality at that time. I only saw the show a few times before I was sent off to boarding school."

"What was the show?"

"I told you I only saw it a few times. I think the main character had some name like flowers. Oh, Blossom! That's it."

"Blossom? Really? I heard that actress went on to pursue her doctorate in Chemistry or biology or something."

"See? I had good taste. She could cut a rug and was intelligent enough to pursue a higher education. Speaking of higher education, did you know that Stephen Hawking almost didn't get into Oxford? However he scored almost a perfect score on the physics portion of the exam. Something for Wolowitz to think about as he wastes his life with a masters alone."

Leonard knew the conversation had run its course. It was hard enough to keep Sheldon on topic let alone find out what his "deal" was. As they ascended the steps to their apartment, Sheldon was commenting on stairs:

"If the height of a single step is off by as little as two millimeters, most people will trip."

Leonard was in no mood anymore for one of Sheldon's trivial rants, "I don't care…Two millimeters? That doesn't seem right."

"No, it's true, I did a series of experiments when I was twelve, and my father broke his clavicle."

Leonard remembered the conversation about boarding school in the car "Is that why they sent you to boarding school?"

"No, that was the result of my work with lasers." Sheldon retrieved his keys from his pocket when something caught his attention from the corner of his eye. He looked to the open door of the apartment across the hall from his own. There was a woman standing in the middle of the room surrounded by boxes and packing supplies. Her shining long brown hair reflected the light like a strands of liquid topaz. Sheldon noticed how sensibly she was dressed. His eyes roamed over her as he noted she was wearing a beige skirt that hugged her hips, a striped cardigan and pale green blouse. As Sheldon was watching her, she pulled her hair back off her shoulders and readjusted glasses on her face as she read a book she had just pulled from a box. Sheldon saw the book's spine: Chaucer.

Leonard noticed the woman as well and was the first to cut the silence, "New neighbor?"

"Evidently." Sheldon swallowed hard and continued to gawk at the woman, "She is a significant improvement over the old neighbor."

Leonard looked oddly at his companion, "Yes Sheldon, she is much better than a 200 pound transvestite with a skin condition."

The bespectacled brunette moved toward the door and locked eyes on Sheldon. She offered a slight smile at the two men watching her from the hall. Sheldon couldn't help but notice her bright eyes and pure smile brighten the whole room. He tried to step forward, but was stopped in his tracks, frozen with fear as he tried to form a cohesive sentence.

The woman was the first to speak. She gave a small nod and said softly, "Hello."

Leonard and Sheldon replied, "Hello." Sheldon looked at his shoes, but then glanced back up at the woman who was still smiling. He scanned at her hand that was holding her now closed book and noted that she didn't wear jewelry. Leonard was finally kind enough to say something, "We live across the hall. I'm Leonard, this is Sheldon."

"Hello, I'm Amy Farrah Fowler. Nice to meet you."

Leonard gave a welcoming wide grin, "Nice to meet you as well. Welcome to the building!"

Amy seemed to relax her stance and stepped forward, "Thank you. Perhaps we will be able to share a communal hot beverage at some indeterminate point in the not so distant future."

Sheldon's head shot up and he smiled, "I would like that, assuming the hot beverage is not laden with stimulant inducing drugs."

Without missing a beat, Amy cocked her head and replied, "I do not drink coffee, Irish or another kind."

"Good. While I am not sure why the ethnicity of the aforementioned beverage would have any bearing on its drug content, my mother made me promise I wouldn't do drugs when I moved to California."

Amy let out a smile and a slight snicker, "Irish coffee has alcohol in it. My mother made me promise not to… how did she put it… find my self-worth at the bottom of a bottle. No wild parties."

Sheldon couldn't hold his smile back any longer, "A wise and sensible request."

Amy nodded, "Well, I look forward to sharing a culturally ambiguous, non-habit forming beverage with you. You two sound like an interesting couple."

Leonard looked at Sheldon who was still watching Amy's every move, "Oh, we are not together.. together… We live in separate… heterosexual bedrooms."

Amy gave a half smile and blinked, "Oh, okay. Well. Nice to make your acquaintance."

"Good day." Leonard started walking away. Amy smiled again, "Good day." She slowly closed the door.

Sheldon stood in the hall staring at the now closed door. He looked back at Leonard, "Should we have invited her lunch?"

Leonard answered while he was unlocking their apartment, "I thought you wanted to watch a DVD or something?"

"I did, but we have already watched Season Two of Battlestar Galactica. I just think… Leonard?" Leonard was already inside their apartment. Sheldon rushed after him to continue. "I just think it would be rude not to invite her, I mean... We should be good neighbors. My mother would be appalled if we didn't extend an invitation."

"You never told your mother about Louis/Louise or invited him/her to lunch?"

"You've met my mother, so you know full well why not! I would never hear the end of it." Sheldon looked back at the closed door, "Besides, she did say she would enjoy a hot beverage with us."

"Sheldon do what you want buddy. It's your thing. I don't think she was looking at me anyway."

Sheldon tilted his head in utter confusion, "What do you mean?"

"I mean, she seemed to only have eyes for you pal." Leonard smiled as he started to unpack the food.

"Well, she was obviously noticing the dramatic height difference between us. Females tend to notice those things." Sheldon almost went into a tirade about the biological imperative for females to be drawn to taller men, but feared that might open up a topic of conversation that he was not willing to pursue, "Regardless, we should be affable neighbors." Sheldon held his hand to the door, "Leonard… go ask her."

"What? You go ask her!"

"No Leonard, you're the chatty one in the group. You do it." Sheldon held his hand out toward the door, "I got your back Jack."

"Ug, Sheldon, how can you chat with this girl if you can't even invite her to lunch."

"I don't know how to chat Leonard."

Leonard shook his head, "Well Sheldon it's not difficult, you just listen to what she says and then you say something appropriate in response."

"She doesn't seem like the type of woman who would just chat. Conversing with great intelligence and forethought now that I think she can do…" Sheldon looked at Leonard who hadn't moved, "Go ask her!" he pleaded

"Fine! But it really should be you."

Leonard stomped across the hall, closely followed by Sheldon and knocked. Amy answered the door and smiled when she saw the two familiar men standing in her doorway, "Hello again."

"Hello."

"Hello…" Amy narrowed her eyes in confusion. Sheldon nudged Leonard forward.

"Well, we brought home Indian food and I know moving is stressful… Good food and company can have a calming effect." Leonard held out the bag of food as a visual aid. Amy was still confused.

Sheldon whispered behind him, "Actually, Indian food is a natural laxative, so it can also have a cleansing effect."

Leonard turned around and glared at Sheldon, "I don't think you should mention bowel movements in the context of a lunch invitation, Sheldon!"

"Yes, of course…" Sheldon looked down then raised his eyes to see her response.

"Oh, you're inviting me to lunch?"

"Yes!" Leonard let out a large sigh, thankful that he didn't have to explain more. Sheldon just nodded his head vigorously.

Amy held her hand to her mouth, "Oh, my. I'd love to. I haven't had a chance to eat and my cognitive resources are sorely lacking. I unpacked a box labeled Kitchen in the living room. Silly me."

Sheldon followed her into their apartment. Amy noticed the décor instantly and she was impressed. There was a large amount of toys around, but also numerous white boards. One was on an easel near the kitchen. Amy was drawn to it right away.

"Leonard, is this your board?"

Sheldon rushed over to the board, "No, this one is mine." He gave her a tour of the board as he leaned against it in pride, "It's just some quantum mechanics, with a little string theory doodling around the edges. That part there.."

Amy cut him off and started to chuckle, "That's hysterical!"

Sheldon's smile could have brightened Alaska on a winter's night, "You get it?"

"Of course! It's a spoof of the Bourne-Oppenheimer approximation, yes?"

Sheldon was delighted, "Yes! Leonard, she gets the joke!"

Leonard rolled his eyes, "Glad someone does Sheldon. At least my board does not have silly jokes that no one gets."

Sheldon stood straighter and shouted to Leonard, "Didn't I just say she gets it?"

Amy interrupted and moved toward Leonard, still chuckling "I did get it. You do don't you? The Bourne-Oppenheimer approximation is a simplification of the Schrödinger equation for a molecule. So you see, what Sheldon…" .

Leonard cut her off and snapped, "I'm an experimental physicist, and of course I get it! I have a board too, ya know!"

Amy scanned it and looked toward Sheldon, "I see… Oh that looks familiar to me."

Sheldon almost jumped over the couch to get near her and to study Leonard's board, "Of course it does, I mean come on. Who hasn't seen this derivative restatement below "here I sit broken hearted? That is the kind of stuff you can find scribbled on the wall of any men's room at MIT."

Leonard spat back at Sheldon, "At least I didn't have to invent twenty-six dimensions just to make the math come out."

Sheldon growled at him "I didn't invent them, they're there."

"In what universe?

"In all of them, that is the point."

Amy laughed as she moved toward the couch, "This seems like a classic example of male dominance concerning the social order of your relationship. However, instead of physical confrontation, you two choose to duel with white boards. Fascinating. Do you mind if I start eating?" Amy was seated on the far left section of the couch. Sheldon bit his lip and winced.

"Um, Amy… that's where I sit."

She turned around at stared at him while he stood behind the couch, "Oh, you mean you have a specific spot picked out in the apartment?"

Leonard rolled his eyes, "Oh here we go…Sheldon, let her sit there. She's a guest."

Sheldon ignored him, "You see Amy that is the prime spot in the apartment. In the winter that seat is close enough to the radiator to remain warm, and yet not so close as to cause perspiration. In the summer it's directly in the path of a cross breeze created by open windows there and there..." Sheldon was pointing to the windows but he didn't notice Amy's wry smile.

Amy cut him off mid rant, "I noticed it also It faces the television at an angle that is neither direct, thus discouraging conversation, nor so far wide, you might have parallax distortion in your neck. I take it then this spot represents not only your compulsive need to be Alpha male of your group, but also your inability to communicate socially with others without discomfort or distraction. It certainly says a lot about you. Say no more, I will move." Amy shifted to opposite end of the couch and smiled at Leonard who returned the smile and then looked smugly at Sheldon.

"Go ahead Sheldon, your spot is secure."

Sheldon stood up straight and pranced to this spot. He narrowed his eyes at Amy, unsure if he had been insulted or not.

Leonard was warming up to Amy, "So Amy, you must know something about human psychology and development given your quick diagnosis of Sheldon. "

"Yes, I am a neurobiologist."

Sheldon raised his brow at Amy and asked, "Graduate?"

Amy looked at little insulted, "No. I have a doctorate. I am actually the head of the department. But I will take your question as a compliment on my apparent age, and not a judgment on academic ability."

"Of course. I mean.. no… a compliment. Well…" Sheldon was rarely caught off guard. He was also still unsure he hadn't been insulted earlier by this formidable woman. However he knew something was amiss because Leonard looked pleased and that was never a good sign. He thought a quick dismissal of her field should do the trick. He snorted to open his response, "Neurobiology…Really? Huh. I bet you probably believe in Quantum Brain dynamic theory or some such nonsense, right?"

"Of course not, any idiot knows that the electric dipoles in the brain's water molecules could not possibly form a Bose condensate."

Sheldon said nothing, just nodded and smiled. Amy looked down at her food and took a few bites before she looked up and saw Sheldon staring at her again.

Leonard smiled at Amy and continued a more pleasant line of questioning, "So Amy, where are you working now?"

"I am at UCLA till the end of next week. Then I will be doing an addiction study at Cal-Tech for the next few years." At this Sheldon sat up a little bit. Leonard smiled at his friend's obvious glee over the news.

"That's funny; we work at Cal-Tech."

"Interesting, although not really amusing or surprising given this apartment's proximity to the university."

Leonard only shook his head slightly and looked at Sheldon, but his attention was fixed on the brunette on the far right of the couch.

"Leonard, you said you were experimental physics. So, Sheldon, I take it by the work on your white boards, you are in Theoretical Physics? Do you also have a doctorate?"

"Yes. Two as a matter of fact."

Amy snickered, "Well, you have to have two given the field, or else, why bother."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, as you know, Stephen Hawking as multiple doctorates. It seems, in order to fully understand the complex nature of the universe and attempt to prove it, one would need a doctorate in physics, and math. Oh, and philosophy wouldn't hurt, right Sheldon?"'

Sheldon was again stuck between not knowing if he was being insulted or praised, "Yes, Hawking has a degree in philosophy."

Leonard was watching this woman in awe. He had never seen the great and powerful Dr. Sheldon Cooper reduced to one sentence answers. She had a strange powerful magic that Leonard needed to somehow absorb. "Tell me Amy, what are you working on now?'

"Well, given your field, I will try and dumb it down for you, but basically I am studying the neurobiology of addiction in lower animals. I am trying to prove that striatum can be construed as a structure performing fast neurotransmitter-mediated operations through somatotopically organized projections to medium-size spiny neurons but those nut jobs at UC Irvine will try and tell you that view that depicts the striatum as a site of diffuse modulatory influences mediated by cholinergic interneurons and by dopamine. I mean are they nuts?" Amy looked at Sheldon and quickly added "Am I right?"

"Oh, so right Amy!" Sheldon shook his head in total agreement. Leonard was wondering what she would have said if she didn't dumb it down.

"I tried to tell them that at the last conference. I was so close to proving it! I was scheduled to work on the study at UCLA, but our funding from Saudi fell through at the last minute." Amy let out a slight cry, "My life would be completely different if that funding came through. I was on the list for an apartment in Glendale, but when the project changed location, I looked for housing closer to Cal-Tech. Now I have to prove my theory without the UCLA cadaver lab…" Amy started to sniff and her eyes turned watery. She was blubbery and not making sense, "How can I… I mean.. through their mutual interaction, to the function of basal ganglia… And there is no ganglia to work with!" Amy was sniveling, and embarrassed by her outburst. She ran to the kitchen to get a tissue.

Leonard turned to Sheldon and mouthed, "What the heck?"

Sheldon shrugged his shoulders and looked toward the kitchen completely baffled.

Amy continued her tearful tirade, "I mean four years I was with them! Four years! That's like all my college and graduate work combined, ya know?"

Leonard asked quickly, "It only took you four years to do college and grad work?!"

Sheldon shot at look at Leonard, "Shh! Not now!"

Leonard mouthed, "Sorry."

Amy was still crying, "You know what the most pathetic part is? I still love UCLA! I mean, that's crazy right?" Amy turned around and grabbed another napkin and blew her nose.

Sheldon mouthed, "Should we say anything?"

Leonard quickly shock his head, "No, especially not you! You'll just make it worse."

Sheldon glared at Leonard and rose from the couch with the box of Kleenex, "Of course it's not crazy, Amy! You get emotionally attached to your first college. It just a like structural homeostasis. You just need to make compensatory adjustments."

Amy looked up at Sheldon with shining green eyes, "You mean like the adjustments made by dendritic arbor geometry in response to variations of synaptic input?"

Sheldon smiled and handed her a real Kleenex, "Exactly."

"Oh, Sheldon that's just what I needed to hear. Thank you. I am sorry for my outburst, I think this is the first time I've cried since grade school. I am usually not so emotional and I CERTAINLY do not cry in front of strangers. Please forgive me.."

"Nothing to forgive." Sheldon smiled, but Leonard was still amazed Sheldon didn't rip into her about having an emotional outburst, or mention something about her being flooded with estrogen. Sheldon was the perfect gentleman, and it was freaking Leonard out.

Amy continued, much more composed, " I…I had to move on the spur of the moment, with no help. This funding thing was a complete disaster. I haven't a moment to unpack properly before I have to go back to UCLA! I mean I have to work both jobs for a week! Top it off, my shower doesn't work!"

Sheldon didn't waste a second, "Our shower works."

"Really? Do you think I could use it?"

"Um…" Sheldon looked down at Amy pleading emerald eyes and blurted out, "Of course."

Leonard dropped his fork and choked on his food, "Really?"

Sheldon looked back to Leonard, "Of course Leonard. My god, man, didn't your mother raise you to help those in need? Really…" Sheldon turned back to Amy, "Ignore him. He was raised in New Jersey, he knows nothing of the chivalrous ways of a southern gentleman. Now the shower is little tricky, so I will show you how to start it. "

"Could I borrow a pencil as well?"

"Do you anticipate the need to write? I often log the duration and effectiveness of my showers to calculate the effects of hard water. I can show you my results."

"As fascinating as that may be, I just want to pin my hair up."

"Oh, of course." Sheldon handed Amy an unused pencil and walked her back to the bath. After a complete run down of the shower, location of towels and hair products, Amy was finally ready to take her shower. "Those hair products are Leonard's, by the way."

"Oh, I won't touch his toys. I am not going to wash my hair anyway." Amy started to put up hair with the pencil. Sheldon was fascinated as he watched her create a knot on her head and hold it up with nothing but a shard of wood. He was mesmerized as she rubbed her neck with her fingers and had to shake himself to divert his gaze.

"Um… Here are the towels, as I said. Please hang the wet ones here. Enjoy your shower."

"Thank you Sheldon." Amy turned her back to him and started to undo her buttons. Sheldon rushed out and returned to the kitchen unconscious of the slight smile forming on his face.

Leonard was smirking as his head nodded toward the hall, "So this is interesting development...Ay Sheldon?"

A/N: A few things I want to address:

Any words that are sciency, you can thank Google. I looked up an abstract on the latest research on addiction studies and borrowed the wording including the critics notes. I would reference here, but I can't post links.

This is an AU story and the characters may seem a little OOC. I will explain as the story progresses why certain things are not the same. I hope you give it a shot. This is one of my first AU stories (Not counting Vixen) however, I believe all fan Fiction is AU, but some more than others. This is more.

This story will not be simply take away Penny put in Amy type of story. There are fixed points in TBBT canon that I feel cannot be ignored (Polar trip, Daniel Kim, etc). As the story progresses you will see it will change from the original plot lines, but certain things will be the same for a while. I hope you stick with it.

Penny will be in this story, just later. Don't worry Lenny Fans. She's okay, and still with Kurt. She is miserable and will be looking for a new kind of love soon. (Spoilers)

That being said, I am not a Lenny writer. Tensor is, (Chew Toy is great Lenny) There will be some, but this is Shamy through and through. I will try to keep the humor of the show. (You know I really try at that.) I hope you like it. I cannot stress enough how much I really want to know what you think of this idea. Please please leave me a note, a PM or review telling me what you think. I really hope you like it. I've been hashing this out in my head for a while.