here's a random idea encouraged by my awesome roommate Katie.

so enjoy

DANCE PLOT BUNNIES, DANCE!

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Roger POV

I did not want to wake up. My head hurt like hell...like someone just took a brick and smashed it into my skull over and over again. But I've been hanging around these guys for the last two weeks and by now I had figured out that if I didn't leave now then it meant hanging around for another morning of this.

...Or afternoon or whatever...What time was it?

I groaned as I stood, only half aware of the sound of bottles rolling away from me and cringing at that stupid clang sound they made when they came in contact with eachother. How much did I drink last night?

I stumbled on my way to the bathroom, seeing that I was the only one awake. One guy was passed out next to our pile of cocaine and another guy was passed out on the floor next to the toilet. By the look of it, he was up puking all night...

Whatever. I kicked up to the side more so I could take a leak and straightened my disguise out: a black slicked back wig and matching goatee, pin stripped black suit with a red silk button up shirt and black shoes. Damn, I looked good...

Cleaned up, I headed out, only stopping for a minute to nab myself some of the cash and cocaine that was left out. By the time they woke up and noticed, I'd be out of town and in a different disguise so who gave a damn?

I went out, tucking my suitcase under my arm and checking my wrist-watch. About two fifteen...Damn, I slept late.

I shrugged and headed downtown, deciding to get some coffee and then change disguises at the bus station before heading all the way back to Langley Falls. It was a lot easier than trying to remember where the hell I was.

Oo

Stepping out of the coffee place about an hour later, I smiled to myself, feeling a lot better.

Until a shrill ringing broke the air.

"AH! Damnitt to Hell!" I yelled. Who the hell puts a school right across the street from a damn high school!? Whatever, I had to get to the bus station anyway...

"STAY AWAY, DIB-BEAST!"

I perked up and looked over to the school again. That voice...It was weird...like...male but kinda...girly with a bite to it...

As if on que, some kid bolted out of the school, dressed in a light and dark pink stripped shirt and tight black pants with boots and gloves and some weird backpack...It wasn't until I saw his face as he ran that I noticed.

Another alien!

Just then another kid ran after him wearing a black trenchcoat, black pants, boots, and blue tee. "JUST GIVE UP, ZIM!" He was carrying a pair of handcuffs.

Kinky...

I watched closely as the kid with weird scythe-like hair caught up and tackled the alien to the ground, a little amazed that no one else seemed to be paying much attention. Did they not see how perfect this was?

The kid struggled for a bit trying to force the alien's arms back and get the handcuffs on but the alien was having none of it, some weird sharp metal object jumping out of that thing on his back and stabbing the kid in the shoulder, wounding the kid enough that he was pushed back to the ground, giving the alien a chance to run off, quickly turning down the street.

I smiled, tapping a finger to my chin in thought. Interesting...

oo

It took a while before I found the alien kid again, but not too long. Maybe about ten minutes. I saw him running into a weird green house that I assumed was his home. Must not have lived here very long.

I smiled, confidently striding over and knocking on the door, finding it a little creepy that the gnomes in the yard were turning in place to follow me with those weird bulging eyes.

"GET LOST, DIB-STINK!"

I frowned a bit. "Wha-? No, I'm someone else! Just open up, kid!"

oo

Normal POV

Zim huffed, not in the mood for Dib's tricks. Still in a fury, he yanked the door open, preparing to yell at the top of his lungs...only to have to drop his gaze to some weird male with gray skin and dressed in an odd suit.

"Hello," Roger greeted. "Mind if I come in?" He didn't bother waiting for an answer as he simply shoved Zim aside and looked around, smiling. "Hey, cute place. Did you design it yourself? Not bad for an alien that hasn't been here that long. I mean, you haven't been here that long, right?"

Zim growled at that. He was irritated beyond belief because of Dib and now he had this moron in his base! "Zim is no alien! Leave! Now!"

"Relax, I won't tell anyone," Roger replied, setting his briefcase down and turning, lifting his wig just enough to show the rest of his oddly shaped skull to his fellow e.t.

Zim looked on in surprise, his mind going blank for a moment before quickly shutting the door, unsure what else to do. "D-did the Tallest send you?" It was true that he had been unsuccessful for five years...Maybe he was being sent and aid from another planet.

"The what? No, I just stopped by. Seemed like you would be more interesting than a ride back to Langley in the middle of the day,"

Zim deflated at that news. "O-oh, I see..." His communications with the Tallest were cut off several months ago. He had really hoped that this would be reassurance that they weren't ignoring him...He shook himself back to normal, his eyes becoming hardened again. "Well, then if you have no reason to be here, then I demand you leave!"

"Oh, but I do have a reason to be here," Roger replied casually, seating himself on the couch. He crossed one leg over the other and patted the seat next to him. "Come. Sit,"

Zim eyed him suspiciously, his arms crossed over his chest in defiance. "State your reason for pestering Zim or I will have you ejected from my base!"

Roger wasn't swayed for a moment before he replied. "Very well. I'll get right to the point. I saw that display in front of the school earlier with that friend of yours,"

Zim hissed. "Zim does not need friends! That was just a pathetic Earth-creature!"

"Oh? He seemed to like you,"

"The Dib has been enemies with Zim for many Earth years," Zim waved off. "Unless you have information on how to get him to quit interfering with Zim's plans to take over the Earth, I do not require your assistance,"

A switch clicked on in Roger's head.

"Oh, but I do have information to help you with...Ah...What was his name?"

"...Dib,"

"Yeah, yeah...Dib. I can help you with him," Roger smiled darkly, noticing that he'd caught Zim's attention. This was going to work out great...

"You can? Really?"

"Only if you're okay with the idea of him being around at your beck and call all because you do this one little thing for him,"

Zim scowled. "I don't want to do anything for Dib! He's a creature of an inferior race!"

Ever confident, Roger just went on. "Look at the bigger picture. You only have to do this once...unless you decide to do otherwise- and he'll be yours,"

Zim hummed in thought. "Mine? Like a slave?"

"Ah...yeah, like a slave," Seeing the wheels turn in the Irken's head, Roger tried to hold back a grin but couldn't hide the smirk that escaped from him.

This'll be easier than I thought!

oooooooooooooooo

started this over year ago...

figured i post it...

anyway...might continue if people want it