If you've read either I Did Nothing or Giving Up be warned - this is absolutely nothing like either of them in plot, themes or writing style! The idea came for this when I was reading Giving Notice by dontgiveahoot which is an absolutely exceptional set of character portrayals. One of the characters used was Peeves. Peeves isn't used very often. And he could be. And that kind of got me thinking. Originally I was thinking of going down the same lines but as I haven't finished Giving Up I didn't think it was right to start another really depressing fic. So there was more thinking. And this is what I came up with.

I think this is a one shot - if there's interest then I might continue it into a triple or quadruple. Set in present time but with Peeves thinking back. To the last time something really interesting happened. All of the staff etc used in the main bulk are therefore previous members of staff; most have been abbreviated as I can't imagine Peeve's being polite enough to actually use their full names! I'll put a list of them at the bottom so if needed you can flick down. Wippity I've had to make up as canon doesn't state who the caretaker was at the time of Riddle's schooling. But you can't have Peeves without a caretaker!

Anyhow. I hope enjoy it! Please read and review as my main attention is on I Did Nothing at the moment so I probably won't end up updating this one for months if ever otherwise, unless something else hits me like a cannonball and I have to write it up. Reviews are very much appreciated, particualrly as this isn't a style I've ever tried writing in before. *hint hint*

Peevsey could have told them.

Hogwarts is boring you know. Nothing changes. No one can blame a poltergeist for wanting to liven things up a little can they? A dung bomb here, water bomb there never hurt anyone. Just makes the ickle firsties scream a bit is all. Ickle firsties are my favourite. After the Potty boy and the weasel beaver combo of course. A poltergeist has to do something to mitigate the unceasing boredom of this place you know. You'd have thought it would be exciting. Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. School of tedium and obsoletes it should be called. Nothing ever changes. The faces stay the same, the ghosts hang around like a bad smell, Bumblebore shows no sign of going to the great wizard in the sky any time soon. Even the small people look the same after a couple decades. After centuries the creatures are indistinguishable. No one can blame a poltergeist for courting a little excitement now. This place is normally so boring. It's not often someone comes around to liven it up. Or something. Peeves isn't fussy about what or who it is.

Troublemakers, chaos-bringers and interesting folk don't happen very often at Hogwarts. Things were much more interesting in the good old days, Peevsey can tell you that. The last few centuries have been boring. Peevsey can name all of the interesting people without having to count. Good job that. Peevsey can't count past many. More fun to throw things than count them. The Potty boy and company have been interesting the last couple of years. Peevsey doesn't have to do anything to make things happen around that boy. Every year brings something new. Fire Head twins are fun. Peeves likes the Fire Heads. They give Peeves stink pellets if Peeves doesn't tell on them. Not that Peevesey would tell on them. That would ruin the fun. Even included Peeves in some of their pranks they have. It was boring before them. It had been years since the last group of really good trouble makers. Stag-head, Mutt-breath and the howling wolf. Even the scrabbling rat was good for a laugh. Now they were funny. Funnier than the one before them. Snake Boy.

Peevsey could have told them. But no one ever asks Peevsey anything.

Peevsey knew something was different from the moment he saw the boy. Even aimed a water bomb right at him. Was the only first year to ever lob it straight back at Peeves. Good aim as well. Impressed Peeves it did. Decided to keep an eye on the boy. Any firstie who will lob a water bomb under the watchful eyes of Bumblebore deserves to be kept an eye on. Peeves even decided to give him a special tour of Hogwarts. Eventually. After Peeves had some fun with him first. This one could be interesting. Not much is interesting around here. Who can blame a poltergeist for taking an interest? Peevsey only wanted to liven things up a bit. Watch the boy and see what happened. Maybe point him in the right direction for some mischief. Eventually. Send him to the Bloody Baron first maybe. Or maybe Peeves would report back to Wippiter and the Dopey Dippet. But that would be boring.

Pale boy he was. Smaller than the rest of the ickle bitty first years. Wouldn't scream though. No, Peevsey tried lots of things. Peevsey tried all the usual tricks and more besides but this one was different. Peevsey couldn't catch him out. Peevsey couldn't even make him jump. Peevsey tried everything. This firstie was different and Peevsey was determined to find out why. He didn't look it but Peevsey knew. This one wasn't going to be boring. Peeves could tell from the moment he saw him. The fogies didn't though. Wizards are stupid. Peevsey was right. Peevsey was very right.

Peevsey could have told them. But no one listens to Peevsey either. I don't know why.

Started following him around then did Peeves, to see if he'd do anything interesting that Peeves could use. Anything to annoy Wippiter at the time. All the same these caretaker types. Peevsey can have great fun with the caretakers. This one was nowhere near as amusing as Ranky Carpe of course but beggars can't be choosers after all. Now Ranky was a man you could really get under the skin of. Hated Peevsey of course. Don't know why. They all seem to hate poor wickle Peevsey. Ranky Carpe hated Peevsey even more than the rest though. Don't know why. Peevsey was good to Ranky; made his life more interesting. Was nice of him to set Peeves up with all those weapons though. Sling shots, stink pellets, all sorts of really good stuff. Breaking out the bell jar was good fun as well. The look on old Ranky's face was a picture. Gives Peeves shivers just thinking about it. Those were the good old days. Haven't been able to evacuate the castle on my own since. Still get to swim in the boys toilets though and throw bread at ickle firsties. Should have gone for stink pellets. Couldn've got 'em as well Peeves thinks. Headmistress Molehead was desperate enough. Benefit of hindsight that.

Of course Peevsey wasn't meant to get the weapons. Peevsey was meant to stay in the bell jar. But where was the fun in that? Peevsey couldn't shoot students from the bell jar. Surely that was half the fun. Anyway, Peeves is far too clever to be stuck in any stupid, boring bell jar no matter how thick it is. Didn't Carpe know anything? Of course Peevsey could get out. Didn't even need to smash the bell jar. That was just a warm up. Molehead should have known that no bell jar could hold Peeves, no matter what those wizardy types did to it. Still have that hat she gave Peeves you know. Best hat Peevsey owns. Remembers Molehead fondly for that hat. All because of Ranky. Left soon after. Ill health they said. Couldn't show his face more like. Peevsey showed him good. Can't get rid of Peeves that easily. Been here since the Founders days has Peeves. Ah, good old Salzy. He was an interesting man. Peeves liked him.

Anyway. Snake Boy. Peevsey could have told them. But no one asks Peeves. No ever asks Peeves. Pity that really.

Followed him around for months did Peeves. Really got up his nostrils. Not as clean perfect as he let on though. Not at all. Thought so at first did Peeves. Thought all the hard work was wasted. Just another boring runt-like ickle firstie Peeves thought. Thought Peevsey had been mistaken. So then Peeves followed him round just to annoy him. Worked a charm it did. Until Peevsey got chalk sent up his nose at least. The Pransker God out-pranked. That rankled that did. But Peevsey was right. There was more to this one than met the eyes. Dopey Dippet didn't see it of course. But Peevsey did. Peevsey saw it right from the start. And then Peevsey saw him hissing at snakes and the snakes hissed back. Snake boy was more than worth watching. Even if he did act boring around the old fogey's running the place. Knows how to act does that one.

Wasn't very nice sending chalk up Peeve's nose. Not very nice at all. Rude in fact. Not that Peevsey can feel pain of course but still. Quite a shock it was. Peevsey hadn't been doing anything to Snake Boy to deserve that. Peevsey had only been following him around. Playing blowing a couple of raspberries at his back or in his ear. Hadn't even sung Snake Boy my new song yet. Peevsey forgave Snake Boy of course. Snake Boy told Peevsey to be quiet and stop following him around. Quiet seemed a good plan. Quiet meant Peeve's nose would be left alone. Peevsey was going to drop a chandelier on Snake Boy's head, see how he liked it. But Dopey Dippet didn't like it when Peevsey maimed the students. Got rather cross about it. No sense of humour. Plus Peevsey remembered the water balloon. Anyway, Peevsey doesn't know how to drop the chandelier. Peeves will have to learn first. Peevsey's good at dodging.

Peevsey could have told them. But why would Peevsey ruin all the fun? They never asked after all.

Had to be more careful about following him though; Snake boy didn't appreciate Peeves' brand of attention after all. Most devilish about showing it too. Peeves liked that in the boy. He was tricksky. Peeves could work with tricksky. The fogey's liked him, brilliant they described him as. Tricksky is what he was. Sluggy Slughorn adores him. Brilliant mind, model pupil or some other such guff. Tricksy is as tricksky does. Maybe even Peeves could learn some new tricks from him. Ha! As if Peevsey needs to learn anything. Peevsey is the Master of Pranks. The Prankster God. But Peevsey watched him. Not a master yet maybe but very, very tricksky. Not a prankster either Peevsey found out. Peevsey's pranks are always funny. Prides himself on it does Peeves. Snake boys weren't all that funny. Exciting yes. Not funny though. Livened the place up though no end. All the other green boys were scared of him but none of them would say so.

Peevsey was careful so Snake Boy didn't know Peevsey was watching him but Peevsey sees everything. Peevsey knows everything that goes on in Hogwarts. If Snake Boy's pranks were funny then Peevsey might even have offered to help. But Snake Boy wasn't funny. Snake Boy only caught Peevsey watching him once. Threatened Peeves he did. Peevsey laughed at him. No kiddiewinkle threatens Peeves. But Peevsey is careful. Something about this one is different. Peevsey doesn't know if he likes it. He doesn't act like the others. He's in control. Knows too much. Almost knows as much about Hogwarts as Peeves and Peeves has been here forever. Tricksky that one was. Tricksky indeed. Peevsey doesn't trust him. Snake boy would use Peevsey if he could. But Peevsey is far too clever. Peevsey watches from a distance. Peevsey doesn't get involved. But Peevsey sees everything.

Peevsey could have told them. But who would believe Peeves anyway? No one ever believes Peeves.

Hogwarts wasn't so boring though anymore. Peevsey wasn't alone in his perpetual quest to liven the place up. Snake Boy wasn't the only not boring thing in the castle anymore either. Peevsey started following big Oaf around as well. Where Snake Boy was small and tricksky, Oaf was big and rather stupid. Peevsey could have fun with him. Oafboy liked creatures. Peevsey found that out quickly. If it had claws or teeth or poison then Oafboy liked it even more. Peevsey said the Oaf was stupid. Not boring though even if he wasn't a prankster. Not enough brains to be a prankster. Not as clever as Peeves. Peeves would have found interesting things to do with the creatures. Peeves would have put nifflers in Sluggy's chamber or filled Bumblebore's hat with flobberworms or infested Dippety's closet with pixie's or so many other fun filled pranks. Oaf kept a close watch on his creatures though. Particularly when Peevsey showed an interest. Not that stupid then. Boring. Even if Peevsey couldn't get at Oaf's creatures though the place was livening up nicely and Peevsey saw it all.

Peevsey had finally thought up a plan to get to Oaf's creatures again. Oaf had managed to hide them since the first time. But Peevsey had a plan. And Peevsey wanted the spider thing. Peevsey was going to release it into the Great Hall on Valentine's Day. Or so Peevsey thought. It was a brilliant plan if Peevsey does say so himself. One of Peevsey's best plans. It was an epic plan. All the firsties running, girls screaming and fainting, running out the Great Hall in complete panic, climbing over each other in their rush to the doors. It near makes Peevsey salivate in anticipation just thinking about it even now. Never get a chance like that again Peevsey won't. Even if the spider thing wasn't poisonous it would be a joyous celebration of chaos and excitement, screaming and crying, wailing and weeping. Peevsey would be in his element, swooping and sweeping, yelling and throwing. It would have been wonderful. Near makes Peevsey salivate and Peevsey can't eat food. Food is for throwing. Eating is boring. If the spider thing was poisonous, well the fogey's would catch it before Peevsey got a new Hogwarts ghost to play with. They always ruin Peevsey's fun.

Peevsey could have told them though. Peevsey knew Snake Boy wasn't right. Wasn't normal. But he was interesting. Nobody can blame a poltergeist for wanting things to be interesting.

Snake Boy took Peevsey by surprise though he did. Not often someone takes Peevsey by surprise. Peevsey knew Snake Boy was interested in boring books with boring titles and boring pictures. Snake Boy didn't want to throw them or tear them up or burn them though. Snake Boy wasn't very interesting when he was reading, not to Peeves anyway. Peevsey was more interested in Oaf's growing collection of creatures with fangs and scales. They were more interesting than boring books and quills. So many things Peeve's could do if Oaf would stop guarding them. The spider thing was even more interesting than all of the others. Peevsey thought the spider thing was dangerous. Certainly far too big for a normal spider. Would be as big as Oaf soon if Peevsey was right. And Peevsey is always right. Peevsey is clever like that. So Peevsey left Snake Boy alone with his books. Snake Boy was boring.

Other people still found Snake Boy interesting though. Fascinating even. Peevsey doesn't know why. The female ones swooned, the male ones wanted to be with him. Gaining a clan around him was Snake Boy. Weak ones and strong ones, but all useful Peevsey thinks. Peevsey isn't stupid. The fogey's still praised him though. Butter wouldn't melt in Snake Boys mouth if they were to be believed. Beery, Sluggy, Kettleburn even Dopey Dippet all adored him. Teacher's pet. Makes Peevsey want to puke. I told you. Tricksky he was. Very tricksky. Weasel like. No that's the later one. Weasel, Beaver and Ferret. Not Weasel. Snakelike. Had lots of snake friends. Talked to them a lot. Snake boy was only interesting to Peevsey when he was doing things though. Or not doing them. Snake boy didn't do a lot of things. Snake boy watched and ordered. Peevsey watched. Not a prankster, no. Not like Peeves. Far too much…Peeves can't think of the word. Too much enjoyment? Not in pranks though. Snake Boy didn't hang them upside down to show their underwear or turn their hair purple, or hide dung bombs in rooms or throw water balloons when backs were turned or anything funny. Snake Boy silenced them. Snake Boy hurt them.

Peevsey could have told them. But who was Peevsey to tell? Nobody listened to Peeves. Snake Boy was too perfect.

Snake Boy got that one under Peevsey's radar. Peevsey was off watching Oaf's creatures and tormenting firsties with the trip stairs and fitting kiddies into suits of armour when Snake Boy did it. Peevsey wasn't watching so Snake boy fooled even Peevsey for a while. Peevsey couldn't find Snake Boy. Peevsey even checked the room that only Peevsey and the house elves know about now but Snake Boy hadn't found that yet. But Peeves finally saw where Snake Boy was vanishing to. Peevsey was impressed. Snake Boy had found the bowels of the castle. Even Peevsey hadn't been down there often. Too dark, dingy and deserted for Peevsey's taste. No first years there to terrorise, no suits of armour to clank or portraits to sing at. Only that hibernating snake that Salzy left there all those years ago. Peevsey thought it was probably dead by now. Not sure how many hundreds of years it's been there but Peevsey didn't think snakes could live that long. Not Peevsey's problem though. Peevsey didn't think there was anything interesting down there or Peevsey would have spent more time there. Peevsey was wrong though. Not often is Peeves wrong. Nearly Brainless Nick would never let Peevsey live it down. Revenge for trying to use Brainless' head as a Quaffle or throwing food through him I suppose. Turns out hosts hold grudges after the eight hundredth time. Who'd have thunk it.

Brainless Nick's fault for being so boring though. All that whining about the Headless Hunt. Endless loops of moaning. Never changing over centuries. Peeves was only trying to help after all. Not Peeve's fault Brainless is so easily offended. Fun though. Good to wind up on a slow day. The other ghosts aren't as fun. The Fat One laughs everything off no matter what Peeve's does and there's no point in pranking the Grey One. Still upset over some diagram or something hidden almost as long ago as Peeves is old. Boring. No. Not a diagram. Peeve's remembers now. Diadem. Still boring though. What's Peeve's to do with a boring old diadem? Doesn't pay any attention to anyone else anyway. And the Bloody Baron doesn't like it. Peeve's doesn't like the Bloody Baron. Nearly Brainless Nick is far easier to annoy and Peeve's doesn't run the risk of being stuck to the ceiling for a term. Not stupid is Peeves.

Peevsey could have told them. But why ruin it? Who was Peeves to deny them the fun of being paranoid and panicking? Besides, they never asked Peeves. No one ever asks Peeves. Not Peeves fault if no one asks him.

Peevsey was busy swapping Wippiters mops with Quidditch brooms when the screams distracted Peeves from his task. Peevsey isn't allowed on the Quidditch Pitch. The Bloody Baron makes sure of that but Peevsey had got hold of a posh boys broomstick and was in the process of swapping it with the dirtiest most used broom Wippiter had. Peeves forgot the broom though; Wippiter could have it for all Peeves cared. The screaming was far more interesting and posh boy could get a new one after all. Have to write home crying to Daddy. Peeves didn't care. Serves posh boy right for telling Dopey Dippet that Peevsey had stolen his big hat. Peevsey was going to give the hat back. Eventually. With some improvements. Teach posh boy to spoil Peevsey's fun. Rude boy. Didn't he know it's bad manners to ruin a poltergeists jokes? Broom forgotten though, Peeves sped through the corridors swooping down on unsuspecting ickle kiddies as Peeves went of course. Even managed to drop a water balloon or two or three or more. Didn't have any stink pellets or Bubotuber pus though. That would have been even more fun.

Peevsey got to the source of the noise eventually though. No screaming anymore though. The geezers were out in force in a tight circle hiding something. Can't hide anything from Peeves though. Not when Peevsey dive-bombs them with water bombs. Peevsey was expecting an explosion from Dopey Dippet at least but it didn't happen. Soaking wet Peeves had got him. Haven't managed that in years. Last time Dipsy hit the roof. Tried to banish me from the castle. Just because he got an ickle bit wet. Overreaction that. Just because the Minister of Magic was even wetter. Peevsey has a good aim. But Dipsy didn't shout. Sluggy didn't squeal. Bumblebore just looked at Peeves with very serious blue eyes. Boring eyes. Eyes that mean trouble for Peeves. But Bumblebore said nothing. Peeves swooped down again and this time Peeves saw what they were hiding. A body. Peeves didn't know if it was dead but Peeves knew it was a student. So Peeves did what any sound polteigeist would do. "STUDENT DEAD IN THE CORRIDOR!" Peevsey started yelling whizzing through corridors, dorms, classrooms, the kitchen and bathrooms. "KIDDY KILLED IN THE CORRIDOR!"

Peevsey could have told them. But they never asked Peevsey. Nobody ever asks Peevsey. Why should Peevsey tell them?

It wasn't quite as fun as a giant spider loose in the corridor and the girl wasn't dead after all but Peevsey had fun with it. Terrified students. Worried geezer's. Panicking ickle wickle firsties. So easy to scare. Till the Bloody Baron stopped Peeve's jumping out of armour at them. Spoil sport. No one lets Peeve's have any fun around here. Wasn't hurting anyone. Not like something else. Just scaring them. Make them jump. Not Peeve's fault that they were all writing home to Mummy and Daddy and boo-hooing about the not quite dead kiddy. Babies. It was no worse than Peeves usually does. But they aren't usually that jumpy or as easy to make cry. That's what made it so fun. Nobody knew what had happened. Nobody knew what was going on. Nobody knew who was going to be next. Nobody knew if it would happen again. But Peevsey had fun. That spider is still getting bigger as well. Peevsey wanted to see what happened if he let it out. Peevsey thought he had all the time in the world. Peevsey was wrong. Not Peevsey's fault. Snake Boy ruined his fun. Snake Boy isn't boring though.

Petrified is what the old geezer's called it. They wanted to ship in Mandrakes for some reason which delighted Peevsey. Mandrakes are Peevsey's favourites. After water bombs. And ickle firsties. And Potty boy. But he wasn't around then. No, but Mandrakes are still Peevsey's favourites. Peevsey was busy plotting how to get a tray of youngish Mandrakes. Peevsey could drop them in corridors or classrooms or the Great Hall or in the kitchens. Are house elves affected by the cry of a Mandrake? Peevsey doesn't know. But Peevsey can find out. Peevsey just needs to get some from Beery. Beery won't give them to Peeves though. Beery is boring like that. So Peevsey will just have to steal them. Maybe if Peevsey yells that there's another dead student then Peevsey can get the Mandrakes in the panic. Peevsey likes this plan. "KIDDY DEAD IN THE CORRIDOR!" Peevsey looped the loop diving through the corridors. Didn't want to miss anyone after all. "ICKLE FIRSTIE DEAD IN THE CORRIDOR!"

Peevsey could have told them. But what have they ever done for Peevsey. Constantly ruining Peevsey's fun. And no one ever asked Peeves.

Got the Mandrakes did Peevsey. Not too many of them. Peevsey didn't want Beer-breath to figure it out too quickly now did Peevsey. Peevsey isn't stupid. Peevsey didn't realise at first what was going on. Been many years since Salzy's pet came out of hiding now hasn't it? Peevsey might even be the only one who remembers it. Took Peevsey long enough to remember it though. At first Peevsey had no more idea that the geezer's what was going on. Not that Peevsey really cared. Not Peevsey's problem after all. Far more fun to watch the geezers run round in ever decreasing circles and panic. Don't often see Dopey Dippet flustered. Didn't know what to do, did he. Peevsey had moved all the Mandrakes to a safe spot where no one else would find them when Peevsey remembered Salzy's pet. And then Peevsey had to check. Not because its Peevsey's problem. But if there's going to be chaos in the school then Peevsey will be the first to know. Peevsey knows everything.

Peevsey doesn't like the bowels of the castle. Salzy used to come down here all those years ago. No one's been down here since really. Not that Peevsey is scared of course. Nothing scares Peevsey. Not even giant snake pet things that could eat Peevsey whole. Peevsey would give it indigestion. Peevsey isn't scared of anything. Not Ranky, not Wippiter, not Dippity Doper nor Bumblewart. Not even the Bloody Baron and certainly Peevsey is not scared of an overgrown snake thing. Nor Snake Boy. Peevsey would never live it down. Scared of a kiddy? Never. Not even a tricksy one. No, not Peeves. Why would Peevsey be scared? Peevsey can't be hurt after all. No one can hurt a poltergeist Peevsey thinks. But Peevsey still checks quietly. No water balloons here. Peevsey wants to see if Salzy's pet is still hiding. Peevsey knew from the start that Snake Boy wasn't normal. Peevsey didn't think Snake Boy would be able to wake up the overgrown snake though. And the overgrown snake was hungry. Peevsey made himself scarce. Soaked Wippiter's office instead. Then Bumblewarts. And Dippity's.

Peevsey could have told them. Peevsey could have told them right from the start. But no one ever asks Peevsey anything.

Peevsey nearly told Bumblebore or even Dippity. But Bumblebore refused to speak to Peeve's and Dippity is too still furious about his office to be in the same room as Peeves. They'd figure it out Peevsey thought. That's what the geezers are here for. It's not for Peeves to do. Peevsey forgot they didn't know about Salzy's pet. Only Peeves knew about Salzy's pet. Nobody's been down there since Salzy stormed off in a huff. Even Peevsey wasn't going to try and wake up the overgrown snake. Not that Peevsey is scared of it. But Peevsey isn't stupid. Snake Boy wasn't stupid either. Peevsey tried to tell them about the next student in the corridor but they wouldn't believe Peevsey. Why does no one ever believe Peevsey? Peevsey had to drag armour all the way across the castle to get Dippity to come. Made a nice noise did that armour. CLANG! THUMP! "HEY! PUT ME DOWN!" Peeves might have collected an ickle firstie at some point as well. Only bumped him around a little. Bit bruised round the edges. He'll live. Dippity believed me then. Even left me the first year to play with bless his black little heart.

Peevsey started following Snake Boy again. Snake Boy muttered a lot about blood stuff which makes no sense to Peevsey. How can you be half blood? Peevsey has no blood. Peevsey doesn't mind. Makes things more interesting. Wizarding folks can't get through walls like Peeves can. Bloods over-rated Peeves thinks. Snake Boy had lots of friends who were very interested in blood though. They didn't know about Salzy's pet though. Only Peeve's knew about that. Snake boy didn't trust them. Peeves doesn't think Snake boy trusted anyone. Smart boy. Tricksky. Peeves thought Bumblebore was watching Snake Boy as well. But Bumblebore is a nosy sort. Big nose. Watches everyone. Peevsey wasn't sure. But what was Peevsey meant to do about it? Nobody trusted Peevsey either.

Peevsey could have told them. Peevsey tried to tell them. But no one ever listens to Peevsey.

Peevsey didn't get to drop the Mandrakes. It's no fun pranking anyone when they're crying like that. Even the ones who aren't crying don't get mad at Peeves anymore. Peevsey didn't get to release the spider thing either. The Oaf did that himself. Peeve's hadn't expected that. Sent it out to live in the Forbidden Forest. No screaming or fainting although the Oaf cried his eyes out. Peevsey would have liked to have released the spider thing. A chance like that won't come again for Peeves. Hogwarts will be boring again.

Peevsey can't be blamed. It's not Peevsey's fault the girl died.

But Peevsey could have told them.

Nobody ever listens to Peevsey.

Main Abbreviations:

Dopey Dippet/Dippity Doper/Dippety – Armando Dippet (Headmaster in Riddle's time)

Bumblebore/Bumblewart – Albus Dumbledore (Transfiguration teacher in Riddle's time, Headmaster in Potter's time)

Beery – Herbert Beery (Herbology Professor in Riddle's time)

Molehead - Eupraxia Mole (Headmistress in 1870's)

Salzy – Salazar Slytherin

Ranky Carpe - Rancorous Carpe (caretaker of Hogwarts late nineteenth century)

Oaf/big Oaf/Oafboy – Rubeus Hagrid

And if you haven't figured out who Snake Boy is I'm giving up and going home.