DISCLAIMER: I wish I owned.

CHAPTER 10

NOTE: Unedited.

I am the blank page before you
I am the fine idea you crave
I live and breathe under the moon
And when you cross that bridge
I'll come find you

Stay awake with me
You know I can't just let you be
Stay awake with me
Take your hand and come and find me

There is no such thing as a coincidence, Levi. Only alternate ways in which fate can play out.

LEVI

No. No. Fuck, no. I closed my eyes for a moment in hopes that I was hallucinating, but to no avail. When I opened them, the headline was still there in the newspaper. Thieving Murderer Granted Probation.

Daniel Ackerman, 54, convicted of murdering Emilia Ral, 41, seven years ago in a house robbery that went wrong applied for probation in early March. Good behaviour and compliance with prison rules has led to the probation period to be granted, which will expire in August 2018—

I scrunched the page, angrily throwing it across the room. This was bullshit. Absolute fucking bullshit. I picked up my phone, dialling Petra's number. It was nearing noon, which was when she took her breaks at work. She didn't pick up, but rang back fairly quickly.

'Hello,' her voice came out in a cautious tone.

'Did you see it?' I asked grimly.

'Yeah,' she reluctantly admitted. 'My dad told me this morning and I read the paper before I left. Are you okay?'

I paused, taken aback. 'Am I okay? Have you lost your mind, Ral?'

'About what?'

'What does me being okay have to do with this? The question is, are you okay?' I left the are we okay in the air between us, but she definitely understood it.

'I am. I can't say I'm that surprised, if I'm honest. I saw it coming.'

'Did your dad lose it?'

'Sort of. He saw it coming too, but I don't think it properly hit him until he saw it in the paper.'

'I can imagine.' I sighed. 'He can't come near you. At least there is that. His parole officer won't allow it, and neither will your dad.'

'I know.' She said softly, and we lapsed into silence. I wanted to say more, so much more, but the words were stuck in my throat. She sighed. 'Don't worry, Levi. I can sense your heightening anxiety levels through the phone. It's going to be okay. We're going to be okay. Both of us are.'

'Yeah,' I murmured. 'I'll let you go. Have your lunch.'

'Okay. I'll see you.'

Even when the call ended, I felt restless, despite her words. But I was a grown ass man, so I dumped my coffee down the sink and delved into my newest project that a customer ordered over the phone yesterday afternoon. I worked in the bamboo room — as it had now been dubbed — and it helped to suppress my growing apprehension for the rest of the day.

PETRA

I felt oddly calm, if not a little anxious, when I received the news of Daniel's parole. There was no danger — he wouldn't have been released if there was, though that is never a guarantee. A crazy, egocentric bastard he may be, but an idiot he was not. Daniel wouldn't risk doing anything when he knew all eyes would be on him, and on us, to make sure he didn't step out of the line. Besides, he had spent the last seven years in jail. He wouldn't risk his newly earned freedom. Or I hoped he wouldn't anyway.

What was risky was me visiting Levi while the news was still fresh, as it would be for the next couple of weeks. Daniel was to be released next Saturday, and it would be reckless for me to be seen with Levi when my dad was on such a high alert. So we resorted to daily texting and a phone call when we were on break at work. It was wearying, to not be able to be with him in a time like this. The shaky foundation of our relationship was based on this, and God knew that I wasn't going to let it ruin our relationship when we were trying so hard to overcome our history.

When night came around on Friday, four days later, dinner was still tense, though my dad acted as though everything was okay. 'How was work?' I asked as I stuck my fork into the pasta.

'It was alright. A little busier than usual,' he replied, sounding unconcerned.

'How come?'

We continued dinner in a similar fashion, and when I made popcorn so we could watch a movie like we occasionally did on Friday nights, Dad followed along. But as we watched the movie, I could tell his mind was elsewhere. Not only that, but he was thinking of something. Or planning would be the better word. And from the way his eyes kept darting towards me, I knew he was waiting.

'I'm going to stay at Hanji's tomorrow. We agreed to a girl's night in. Might do reruns of Friends and all.' He tried not to react, but I noticed the way his eyes sparked ever so slightly.

'Sure thing. Enjoy yourself.' He responded.

Oh I would.

-X-

After dinner on Saturday, I left with a small back pack of clothing with a kiss on my dad's cheek. But instead of making my way to Hanji's, I lingered around the street corner, waiting.

Sure enough, within twenty minutes, my dad got out of the house with a stern look on his face. I had a fairly good idea where he was going. I followed him, feeling very much like a sleuth, all the way to Levi's studio. From a distance, I watched him knock on the studio door. When Levi opened it, he looked surprised, though not particularly shocked. He probably was expecting a visit. It was impossible for my dad not to considering the recent events.

When they disappeared into the studio, I wanted to follow, but I decided against it. Anything I do to interfere would only work against me later. So I waited.

LEVI

While I knew better than to believe that Peter Ral wouldn't pay me a visit, I expected it to be later rather than sooner. But there was no use in pondering over Peter's lack of patience when he invited himself into my studio and was staring at me expectantly across the dinner table.

'My daughter still thinks of you.' He began.

I shot him a disconcerted look.

'Don't stare at me like that, young man. Don't think I didn't realise that you had a different kind of effect on my daughter. She was in a sullen mood for a very long time, and I've learnt to recognise the look in her eye when you are on her mind. And I do not doubt that she had the same effect on you.'

'You're mistaken, Mr Ral. Petra and I were in a very short term business transaction, nothing more.' I said evenly.

'I'm sure. What I am also sure of is that you two have continued to see each other. I cannot say I know the extent of your relationship, but I know a man in love when I see one. You try to hide what you are feeling this very moment,' he paused, 'but it is not very difficult to discern a man in love.'

My heart pounded, but I refused to give in. 'Petra and I have not been in contact since we've terminated our agreement. At most, I've seen her in passing while at the coffee shop.'

'Say what you like, Levi, it does not make me doubt myself any more. I have chosen to stay out of this in order to give Petra room to recognise her mistake and distance herself from you on her own. However, with the recent turn in events, I cannot remain impartial any longer.' He leaned forward. 'You are to stay away from Petra.'

I raised a brow. 'You are incredibly presumptuous. I've already said that I am not in contact with your daughter, nor is she in contact with me.'

Peter Ral smirked. 'You are quite like your father. That was his method as well; deny, deny, deny.'

I tensed, fists unconsciously clenching. 'I do not appreciate your comparison. I am not my father. I barely know him. You probably know Daniel Ackerman better than I do, Mr Ral. After all, you've done much more research into his past than I have. All I know of that man is that he is a wretched piece of shit who forced my mother into a situation where she had to give me up. If we consider timelines, you've known him for much longer than I have.'

'The apple never falls far from the tree,' he spat. 'You can appear disinterested and distant now, but sooner or later, who you are will impact Petra. I will not stand by while you and your family ruin my daughter's life more than you already have. Stay out of her life. This is my last warning to you.'

'I have done nothing wrong,' I said through gritted teeth. 'Not to you and not to Petra.'

'No, but you will. Who you are will catch up to you, and it will be too little too late by the time you both realise that what you are trying to pursue will only destroy you.' He stood up. 'As you said, I know your father better than you. That extends to you, too. In the end, the same way Petra will understand and realise my words, you will understand and realise your true nature. What is it that Daniel Ackerman says? Blood calls to blood. Don't dirty my daughter. You will regret it.'

With that, he let himself out. I stayed in my chair, fuming and exhausted at the same time. Something stirred in my stomach, something akin to sorrow, frustration and doubt. Doubt that maybe he was right. For fuck's sake, I'm more like Daniel in character than I am like my adoptive father. What's to say I'm not like him in other ways?

I only noticed that someone else had entered my studio when I heard the footsteps in the corridor. When I looked up, Petra stood in the doorway. I stood, feeling worn to my bones. 'What are you doing here? I thought we agreed not to see each other.'

'I thought I'd come check up on you,' she said slowly, leaning against the doorway. 'Why was my dad here?'

That explained it. She must've followed him here. Nothing else would explain why she would visit when it was her who implemented the no contact rule to begin with. 'Not sure myself. Wasn't listening. I tend to zone out when people talk about politics. I care very little about the political atmosphere of our country.'

She snorted. 'Because you are the first person my dad would want to talk politics with.'

'I'm of the same opinion as you, believe it or not,' I turned to the sink, reaching for the upper cabinet for a glass. I filled it with water and took a sip, not realising how dry my throat was.

'Come on. I'm listening.' Petra pressed.

'Nothing. Just talked about Daniel. Said that I should know better this time around not to support him or give away your location. Standard protective parent things.'

'Levi,' she sighed. 'I don't want to do this. Actually, no. We aren't doing this. You're already distancing yourself. Do you think I'm an idiot?'

'I didn't say that.'

'Are you going to listen to him again?' She demanded, voice increasing in volume. I turned to glance at her, matching her furious stare. 'Stop making assumptions.'

'I'm not. I'm not stupid, my dad wouldn't come here if he wasn't onto something and he wanted to confront you about distancing yourself from me. Did he tell you to stay away?'

I hesitated, but there was no point in stoking her already growing temper. 'Yes.'

She scoffed. 'Of course he did. Did he tell you you're not worth it? That you don't deserve me? That you're going to taint innocent little me?' She stepped forward. 'Did he tell you that you're dirt and that you are exactly like your dad?'

'Petra—'

'Yes, he did. And you believe him. I can see it in your eyes.' She spat. 'I guess this only means one thing, right? That I'm a little girl who can't make rational decisions, and I need others to make them for me, and my opinion doesn't matter because why would the way your partner views you matter when everyone else is telling you what sort of piece of shit you are?'

'Lower your voice,' I sighed.

'You're not even defending yourself!' she shrilled. 'Is it always going to come to this? My word against my dad's? My word against your dad's? For goodness sake, you can't keep telling me that you know you are not your dad and then doubt yourself the next moment someone questions your motives. You are not him.'

'Maybe not. But that doesn't change that I'm his fucking son. And that I am more like him than either of us care to admit.'

She laughed. 'What? A stubborn, rude bastard? That's most of the fucking population. Don't be so self centred.'

'For fuck's sake, stop trying to defend this,' I snapped, feeling my own rage begin to feed into the argument. 'Whether or not I am like him or not, it doesn't change who I am. And that's his son. I could be a fucking God sent angel and it won't change the fact that we share a history beyond mutual fucking attraction, and it might be too much for us to handle. Don't you see, Petra? We have only been together for four fucking months, and we have had this argument more times than we care to admit. It might be time to realise that feelings aren't going to be enough.'

'So you're saying you want to end this?' she questioned angrily.

'No, fuck, no, but you have to get the fact that we came into more blinded than we realised. We can talk all we want about the past not mattering, but it does. Your mother is dead because of that bastard. We are connected more by our parents than we are by our own experience with each other, and that's not going to change any time soon.'

'Then what do you want?' she asked madly, 'because I'm tired of trying to convince you that this is worth it. You cannot change moods so quickly every time there is some sort of obstacle! I'm tired of trying to convince you that I'm worth it.'

I remained silent, wanting to shout that of course she was fucking worth it, and that wasn't the question. It was whether I was worth it and I couldn't admit aloud that this haunted me more often than I wanted to acknowledge. 'I don't want to end it,' I began cautiously, hoping to return to a regular conversation level of sound. 'But we need a break. Until this dies down. Peter is already suspicious enough that he is convinced we are still in contact. It's not wise to keep provoking each other when things are so tense and your dad is breathing down our necks.'

'A break,' she repeated, disbelief mirroring in her orbs. 'If that is not already a step towards giving up, I don't know what is. But you know what? It's fine. I'm not going to push something you aren't sure of onto you.'

'Don't be ridiculous. Of course I want you,' I defended viciously.

'I don't think you know what you want, Levi. But you're right. We need a break.' She shifted her weight from one foot to another. 'Take care.' And with that, she turned, going back the way she came, and there was nothing I could say that would not negate everything I just said. But fuck, it wasn't meant to end like this. Not like this.

-X-

By eleven at night, my stomach was growling but I had no appetite, and I had no will to sleep. Too restless, too apprehensive. So I did what every person with an unstable temper would do when they were pissed up the wall. I drove to Walmart. I couldn't be the only one who went there late at night to blow off steam. I was in the DVD aisle, distracting myself with movie synopses when I felt a tap on my shoulder.

Turning around, I was faced with the one person I never would've expected to ever see again. 'Sophie.'

'Levi! I can't believe I bumped into you here of all places. What a coincidence!' Sophie exclaimed, pulling me into a hug I reluctantly returned. I forced myself to relax as I released her, managing an expression that could be accepted as polite.

'What are you doing here?' I asked.

'Here? I moved near here not long ago, I came for some late night shopping. Small decorations for my new apartment,' she grinned. 'What about you?'

'I live nearby,' I said slowly, 'was bored at home. Came to find some DVDs to buy.'

'Live around here? No way. Is your job nearby? I never would've pegged you as someone to live in suburbs like these.'

'I opened a studio actually. I work and live there. It's pretty convenient.'

'That's crazy!' she exclaimed. 'I have to see it; it's always been your dream to have your own workplace. Finally achieved your goals, Mr Ackerman,' she laughed. It had been. She would know, of course. Sophie knew many things. And I did too, which is why I knew she was implying that I should take her to see my new studio.

'Want to come over? I'll make coffee,' it had been a long time, and I could see how her eyes sparked at the offer. It was funny, considering I knew that if I hadn't offered, she would've pushed further. 'Of course. It's been a long time, we can catch up, right?'

-X-

Sophie, simply put, was one of the few women I had been interested in. Not only interested, but deeply invested in. When I was an apprentice, she was the daughter of one of the company's shareholders, one that was bored enough with her own life to hang around the company during summer holidays of university. We hadn't hit it off right away, in fact, we bickered often. But I suppose, it was natural to be attracted to someone who could so easily match your witty and dry remarks with their own. But I was too frightened to take a leap, though our relationship's course was so natural that it was going to happen sooner or later. And then Daniel happened. Soon after his first court case, I separated from the company and bid Sophie goodbye. She never knew why, although she suspected it was serious enough for me to abandon our not-quite-their relationship. It had been hard to leave, even harder to forget her.

Now, as I sat across her in the kitchen where too many people were sitting for my liking recently, I remembered why I was so invested in her to begin with. And why it hurt so much when I moved away.

'This place looks amazing,' she stated, sipping her coffee. 'I'm quite jealous. Even if I don't work as a carpenter, I would've wanted my apartment to be as big. The murals are spectacular as well. Did you get them professionally done, or were they already there when you bought the place?'

'I hired someone,' I replied simply, unwilling to satisfy her curiosity. 'How have things been? You're looking well.'

'They've been well. I just got a job at a nearby firm, so things are looking up,' she grinned.

'So you've followed up on your dream as a lawyer, I see.'

'Nope. I abandoned that a few months after I last saw you. I'm a real estate agent now,' she stated. 'I know, I'm a professional liar now.'

I smirked. 'Lawyers are liars too.'

'So are sneaky carpenters.'

'Not explaining is not lying.' I defended mildly, feeling myself getting worked up in a good way. The banter, although rusty, was familiar.

'It is lying by omission.' She countered.

'How will that hold up in court?'

'I wouldn't know, I'm too good of a liar to be caught up in a court case,' she grinned.

'Of course you are,' my smirk grew. A comforting silence overcame us, and I raised my mug to my lips. But the taste only reminded me of Petra and left my mouth bitter. Overcome with thoughts of her, I cleared my throat, trying to focus on Sophie, who was still grinning like a fool.

'I've missed this,' she admitted teasingly, and then reluctantly added, 'I've missed us.'

I wanted to counter with a remark about her lying ability, something that would've tipped her off that I was still interested. A couple of months ago, I would've been. A couple of months ago, my life had settled into a new routine, Daniel's future in prison was still set in stone, and I was finally free to live without restrictions. But Peter Ral was right; Petra wasn't the only one who was affected by what we shared. And I feared that he was also right about my feelings that I was in love. The thought, while frightening and uncomfortable, was not foreign. I thought of Petra's smile, her eye rolls, her witty remarks and the little things she did that made her who she was. My chest tightened. My head was beginning to pound; beginning with a soft thum that was growing into what I knew would be a migraine.

'It's been a long time,' I murmured, sipping my coffee again. I looked up at Sophie, taking in her features. She was as beautiful as I remembered, still the same abrasive but graceful girl I was willing to commit to. I tried to imagine myself with her. It would be easy, too easy, to call Petra tomorrow. To say that I had enough time to think and that it was for the better that we broke it off before we got hurt. And then I would pursue Sophie. I would go through the motions of attraction and courting again, try to win her already wavering heart all over again. And I would forget Petra, and begin my life anew for the third time. She deserved better after all, Petra did. I couldn't ever do enough to deserve her, but Sophie, I could try. She was attainable. I wouldn't be ashamed of loving her.

And yet, the thought only deepened the sorrow. I glanced at my phone on the table, wanting to pick it up to call Petra. To tell her that, fuck I didn't deserve her but she was foolish enough to think that I did and that was enough. I could work for the rest. Our earlier argument came back to me in waves, and Iwas reminded again of every reason that led to that fight. No, I couldn't. I looked away from the phone,instead averting my attention to Sophie, who seemed oblivious to my mood. The more oblivious, the better. Ignorance was bliss, after all.

If I didn't believe in us, I would've given up a long time ago.

I don't have a skin like you do
To keep it all in like you do
I don't have a soul like you
The only one I have
Is the one I stole from you

Stay awake with me
You know I can't just let you be
Stay awake with me
Take your hand and come and find me

That's one more chapter down. Thankfully, I updated this one faster than the last. Hopefully you guys liked it, and don't worry, I don't plan for the rest of the story to be filled with an angsty separation, because I hate that. But that's not to say our favourite couple will be together again as easily (or less harder) than before.

Let me know what you guys think! Your reviews make my day and fuel my passion to write!

Also, to the one Guest reviewer who suggested that I watch Full Metal Alchemist Brotherhood and write about Edwin, I've already watched it! Well, actually, I watched the original, and it was many years ago so many details are fuzzy. I most certainly wouldn't mind watching Brotherhood and becoming an EdWin shipper/writer. I don't remember many of their interactions but I definitely remember Roy and Riza's, who were my absolute favourites haha. Look out in the future, I just might write for these two couples!

Thank you all again so much, and please feed my love and my inspiration by leaving a review!

Love & Respect

xx