"No one likes you."

"Don't talk to me. You're disgusting"

"Hikigerma!"

"You should just disappear."

Going to school was horrible. He woke up to stomach pains and everytime he reached the school gates his chest felt tight.

He hoped every morning would be the day where he would be left alone. But his hopes again were crushed the moment he walked into the door.

For being so unliked, his classmates really liked paying attention to him.

Games with his name in it as a germ. Girls constantly whispering his name and when he looked towards them they would start laughing.

He just wanted to disappear.

After another day of kids teasing him, he felt instant relief when he walked into his home.

He knew he was going to be alone since his parents were still at work and his little sister took a long time walking home. She actually had friends to walk with and talk to.

The thought of his younger sister having a failure as a brother caused a sob to break out.

Maybe because he was such a failure is why they weren't close. Komachi was loved by all, and everyday had a new story at dinner to tell their parents about her friends.

His food was tasteless during those times. He just focused on putting food in his mouth.

If he had food in his mouth his parents weren't going to ask him questions about HIS friends right? Friends he didn't have.

Why couldn't he make friends?

What was he doing wrong!

He didn't know why he asked that question. It was so painful.

The pain in his chest came back and he felt his eyes sting. He ran into the restroom and closed the door.

Turning on the shower he let the water run before the tears started falling. What was wrong with him?

He stayed in there until the sobs quieted and a painful headache now resided in his skull. Going into his bedroom he looked at the mirror and couldn't stop feeling of disgust fill him.

He was so ugly.

The kids were right. He was a disease.

His eyes. His dead fish eyes.

He was disgusting.

That night he complained he wasn't feeling well, when his mother knocked on his door. She didn't force him to sit with them and that small act he was thankful for.

His mother was the nicest of his parents. She gave him space and when Komachi talked about her friends she always changed the topic afterwards.

Maybe he could talk to her?

Tomorrow was the weekend. She could talk to him without the pressure of catching the train and starting her work day.

He could talk to someone.

His stomach was in knots the next morning as he stalled outside his parents' room. He really wanted to talk to someone.

Maybe they could help him become someone that would be liked by his classmates.

They could fix him.

The glimmer of hope of being fixed gave him enough courage to open the door.

The sight of his parents sleeping faces almost made him step out but he took a few more steps to his mother's side.

The sound of his father's stern voice stopped him though. He looked from his mother's sleeping face to his father's disapproving eyes.

Matching eyes stared at one another for a few tense moments.

"Your mother and I need to sleep, Hachiman."

"Dad. I...i know I just.." He never got to tell his father what he needed as a small body ran past him and onto the bed.

"Daddy!" A high pitch squeal filled the room and the disproving eyes changed to transform into an overexcited gaze.

"There's my little girl!" He watched as his little sister was scooped into the bed and placed in the middle of his parents "Did you have sweet dreams?"

"I dreamed daddy got me ice cream." Komachi answered sweetly with an innocent smile.

"Well daddy has to make his little girl's dreams come true!"

There was movements now on the other side of the bed and a sleepy voice tugged at the youngest family member."

"Komachi needs to give mama a hug."

Hachiman watched the scene in front of him and felt out of place. Again the tight feeling attacked his chest and a small voice in the back of his head urged him to leave.

He silently walked out and went back to his room. He was hoping someone would call him back, but there was nothing.

He crawled back to bed and tried to breathe through the pain. It felt like his chest was going to collapse and he had no idea why.

That morning he made the biggest discovery of his life. The moment of realization gave way to tears but at last the sensation of his chest breaking in half lifted.

He was just extra.

If anyone could be lost, it should be him.

If anything happened to Komachi the family would fall apart entirely.

If either his parents died they would struggle.

It was at a young tender age that Hachiman realized that he was just an extra piece in his family.

He felt something inside him break and he stayed inside his room all day. Red puffy eyes an easy giveaway to his tears. He felt such extreme mental pain that he cried himself to sleep. The pain of being overlooked and yet still being the focus of such cruel punishment were tearing him apart.

But then he imagined scenarios where an intruder would break into his home and make his parents choose between their children. Only one could live.

He would volunteer and he would be so brave about it. A true man in a terrifying situation.

Hachiman twisted this discovery where he became a protector .

So much power that it was almost scary. He was the savior of his family. The extra piece that would keep the family whole.

He was their savior. He had a reason to be in this family. He hadn't felt good about himself in such a long time and whenever he was hurt by his family's actions or words he didn't let it bother him.

He was the savior, it was better that the family didn't have any attachment to him.

He noticed that school got a bit easier after that day.

But he didn't notice his eyes lost a bit of life in them that morning.

WKWKWKWKWKKWKWKWK

Zaimokuza's hands were clenched over his prized treasure. He had just finished his latest version of his novel. He was going to ask the service club to review it.

Their brutal words were a stab to his heart at times but his writing was flourishing because of the criticism. His characterization was better and dare he say it, original?

He was coming up with original ideas that had little influence from his favorite animes.

He was creating!

Such a beautiful feeling to be able to create a new world! New people! New worries and realistic reactions.

He held his head a bit higher as he got closer to the room. He was outside the hallway of the service room when his steps stopped. Something odd was happening.

He heard voices. Angry voices that were escalating as each moment passed. He focused on the noises and tried to make sense of them.

He listened to the escalating conversation between the members.

"It's fine." The sole male voice was somber with a hint of impatience. That was definitely Hikigaya.

"Hikki,you can't keep doing this."

"Did someone ask you to do this."

"No one asked me. Tobe is just being dramatic. You guys all are."

"You're not helping anyone by doing this." A pause and now anger was heard in the voice. "Whatever they're threatening you with-"

"No one is threatening me." He seemed angry now too.

"You went to the hospital!" That was definitely Yui's voice, cracking now and definitely showing that she was close to tears.

He felt dirty now for listening to such a private matter. But now that he heard that Hikigaya could be in trouble, he knew that he couldn't stop listening now.

"I didn't go to the hospital. They over reacted and called an ambulance."

"How'd you get those bruises!"

"My bike broke. I didn't catch myself in time."

"You're lying to us!"

"I'm protecting you two."

Silence for a tense second. And that's when Hikigaya lost the battle.

"From what!"

"You know we would never want this!"

"I can handle it. I've been doing this all my life. It doesn't bother me."

"That's a lie."

Hikigaya's next words were directed at Yukino.

"You should know just how powerful words are. As well as how meaningless they are."

The tense silent moment was enough for a reply for him.

But the third member still wasn't giving up.

"They're physically hurting you!"

"My bike broke!"

"Stop lying! How can you lie to our faces! Do you know how much this hurts us. Hiki!" A sob finished her sentence and a gasp of air was heard as she tried her best to even her voice.

"You wanted something genuine right! Or were you lying to us then too!"

The line was crossed.

"Hiki."

A chair scraping the floor as someone got up.

"Wait! Please. I don't care what it is, it can't be worse than seeing you like this."

He heard footsteps and like a coward he ran. He didn't know what he almost walked into but he didn't like it.

He hid by the lockers and watched Hikigaya leave the room. A glare covered his eyes leaving them hidden but his mouth was strained and teeth clenched down. Hands drawn in fists he left the school grounds without a backward glance.

-WKWKWK-

No one was home.

He thanked the gods for small blessings. He walked towards his room but stopped when he heard small padding coming towards him.

The family pet walked into his path and clawed at his leg. He bent down to pet the animal but flinched as something flared in his back. The beloved feline looked up at him with annoyance but just as his hand was going to touch the cat, he pulled away.

Hikigaya's hand returned to his side and felt heavy.

Even animals didn't like him.

It was the last crack that broke the dam.

His chest was becoming to tight and he couldn't help when the first drops of tears slid down his cheeks. His body hurt and his chest felt like it was going to crack in half.

He hadn't felt like this in years. He didn't know why these weaknesses were suddenly coming back.

Dirt was all over his uniform and he knew he needed to change before Komachi got home.

He wiped the tears away but they kept falling. The taste of blood on his lips caused a sob to escape.

His body ached but it was his mind that was hurting him. Reminding him over and over again that this was the best he could do.

He didn't mind it. He was used to it. For so long he was given the same treatment, he was used to it. What was the problem of the taunts turning into shoves.

Physical pain actually went away faster than mental.

Everything was okay.

He was in the bathroom now and looked up to see his reflection. He couldn't stop the tears now and sobs that rocked his aching body.

He hated what he saw in the mirror.

WKWKWKKWKWK-

Ive always been interested in Hikigaya's younger days. He and Komachi didn't have a relationship and he was verbally bullied in primary school. I just want everyone to know that I did try to refer to canon p, and I'm just pulling these out of thin air.