AN- we are still going.

Chapter 8.

I am sat here watching you both sleep and I have never been so happy to be awake this early in the morning. It's been 2 weeks since we became parents and we brought Joseph home. He is such a laid back content baby. He only cries when he needs changing or feeding. We slipped into a good routine if I do say so myself. I have taken a few weeks holiday as I had plenty saved up and now we're a family I couldn't think of a better way to use it.

During the day we take turns for changing but its you that has the joy of feeding him. I see the way he looks at you as you feed him and the connection you have with him. I have heard about the bond between a mother and her baby when they Breastfeed but seeing it first hand is wonderful. I see the way he grasp your finger and holds you gaze as you talk to him. I do as much as I can to help with everything else and even get up during the night to change him before passing him to you to feed.

I love when we take him out and you carry him in the sling or if I get the chance I grab it before you get the chance and I get to carry him close to me. I learnt that they don't stay little for long and to enjoy them when you have the chance. Laurel grew up and I missed it, I will not make the same again and miss Joseph. He has changed so much already and it's only 2 weeks.

The thought of leaving you both when I go back to work is not nice. I want to stay here with you both and watch as he grows and changes. Then again I do miss work as you know, it's been a part of me for so long I can't shake it. I know you understand what it's like to miss something that has been a big part of your life. We both share a passion for our jobs but seeing you hold Joseph I wonder if you will ever want to come back. You seem like a different person to the tough ass,stubborn, independent agent who rolled in to my office and turned my world upside down.

I have even seen a different side to Christopher since Joseph arrived. He pops in when he can just so he gets to have cuddles. He was a little nervous at first but he soon got the hang of it and loves when we pass Joseph to him saying he can have hugs from uncle Chris. I have to admit we have a very spoilt little boy. He has half of NCIS to spoil him for her to Washington.

I love watching you sleep as you don't get enough now Joseph is here. He still feeds every 3-4 hours even during the night so you always seem to be tired yet you have never seemed so happy. Your a great mom and no matter what happens I know Joseph has all he ever needs in you.

He also has a big sister who he has wrapped round his little finger already. From the moment she steps foot in the house till she leaves she has him in her arms and he is quite happy to be there getting big sister cuddles. We see a lot more of her now than we ever did so I suppose we can thank him for that.

When we do get time just us when Joseph sleeps all I want to do is hold you to me and remind you how much I love you and how special you are. We just sit and talk and lie together holding each other. It's our special time when we get be just us again.

Standing in the nursery door way I look over at you both in the nursing chair. I can see Joseph is still feeding as his cheeks keep moving but he seems happy to be asleep and feeding at the same time. I look up at you and you seem to be asleep as well. You have Joseph secured to you as he feeds and you're leaning back in the chair with your feet up. I wonder how long you have been like this as you seem to be very relaxed. I can't help myself as I come in to the room and creep up to both.

One thing that has change with motherhood is you hearing and awareness skills. I have just stepped up to you side and you opened your eyes, knowing I was there even though you we're sleeping seconds ago. I smile down at you and come down to your level as I kneel beside the chair next to you. I stroke my fingers over Joseph's head and he moves, spitting his dinner out but still sleeping on . I have to stop myself from laughing at the site. I stand up and take him from you as you fasten you top up and stand beside us. I tell you I got him and you can go back to bed so smiling at me you stand on your tip toes and place a kiss on my lips then kiss Joseph before yawning and heading to bed.

I stand for a while with Joseph on my shoulder rubbing his back till he finally brings his wind up then I bring back to lie him on my chest. He snuggles against me with his hand wrapping around my chest hair holding tight. I laugh as his grip reminding me of a very pleasant experience we shared one night. Sitting in the chair I lie back a little and pull a blanket over Joseph and just sit watching him sleep for a few minutes.I finally feel a chill hit me as I am sat here with just Joseph and his blanket covering me I stand up and bring him through to put in his basket on your side of the bed.

Once he's tucked in I come round the bed and climb in snuggling up to again and you take my hand in yours as we drift off to sleep after I spend another night watching you sleep.

AN2-I have no idea now which direction to take this in as it seems to have a mind of its own. Any ideas where it should go or should I leave it here? Please drop me a review and let me know.