A/N: This is a change for me. I'm purposely digging deep into my subconscious for the sake of a joke. However, I usually write my stories while I listen to something funny, so a Phelous reference might pop up somewhere. Also, when GIR's dialogue is in bold, it means that he's in efficient mode. Read and review, if you please. Have an excellent day! Finally, this story is dedicated to Ichi. I hope that you feel better.

Bunny, Monkey, Trash Can, Weevils…

by MiscellaneousSoup

Zim and GIR were in a completely blank room, seated at opposite ends of a small table. Zim clutched several pieces of paper. GIR held nothing. Despite the fact that the room held nothing and should have been completely boring, he couldn't stop randomly turning his head and looking around. All in all, he looked like a hyper toddler hopped up on sugar.

Zim coughed, trying to get GIR's attention. GIR didn't listen. Zim coughed again, going up by one decibel. Again, GIR made no response. Zim reached across the table and poked GIR, causing him to yelp like a frightened puppy and fall out of the chair.

Zim started to grind his teeth in frustration. "GIR! Report!"

GIR's eyes turned red and he saluted. "Sir, yes, sir! What's my mission?"

Zim pointed to the chair. "Sit down and speak only when spoken to! I've been trying to get your attention for three hours."

GIR sat down. "Puppies are cute."

Zim sighed. "Okay, GIR, I've been worried about your work. You constantly sing to yourself, you eat crunchy food during stealth missions, and you kidnapped the neighbor's dog."

GIR winked. "I was taking woofing lessons!"

Zim started to say something, then stopped himself. "I'll pretend you didn't say that. Now, I have been studying the best in human brain tests, mostly from watching educational programming."

Last night….

Zim sobbed and blew his nose on a tissue. "Yes, Doctor Phil, yes! I can take control of my life!"

GIR nodded, "Good work!"

Zim pulled out one notecard. "Okay, I'm going to say the word on this card. When I'm done, say the first thing that pops into your head. After that, I will do the same thing and we'll continue for five minutes. Do you understand?" No response. "I'll take that as a yes. Moose."

"Beehive."

"Dollhouse."

"Threat."

"Bunny."

"Monkey."

"Trash can."

"Weevils."

"Hospital."

"Buffy The Vampire Slayer."

"Monkeys."

"Boogeyman."

"Danube."

Zim set down the notecard. "Excellent! You've passed with flying colors. Now, the trivia portion. Who is the president?"

"Richard Nixon's disembodied head in a jar."

"Where is the world's moldiest ball of twine?"

"My sock drawer."

"How long has Dib been spying on us?"

"Two hours and twenty seconds."

Zim grinned, and opened a hidden panel in the table, revealing a small spying device. "PUNY HUMAN! I knew your spying device was here all along! You learned nothing! NOTHING!"

Dib's house was filled with the sound of crying.

...The End?