Chapter 1

Grief

His heart was racing, his mind was spinning. Although he was standing still, his breathing was coming out in short, fast gasps. He tried to steady himself on his wobbly legs, his prosthetic was not helping the situation.

He looked around at all the people surrounding him and clapping for him.

I'm now responsible for all these people. I'm their chief, I'm in charge of all of them. The thought scared Hiccup out of his mind.

He tried to plaster a smile on his face, but the shock and excitement of battle and the burden of responsibility still hung in the air around him, making him confused.

Out of the corner of his eye he saw Toothless cocking his head at him. He sensed that his rider was distressed.

Hiccup jumped when he felt a hand on his shoulder. He whipped his head around and looked into Astrid's sparkling, blue eyes.

"You okay?" She asked quietly.

"Yeah, I'm fine." Hiccup shrugged her hand off his shoulder. He knew that answer would not satisfy her, but the shrug would tell her that he didn't want to talk about it now. Hiccup turned to the crowd.

"Thank you. I… uh… I am proud to be your chief. I hope I don't mess up to many things." Hiccup tried at some humor. He successfully received some laughter from the crowd.

The overwhelming feeling of sadness washed over him, and he struggled to keep the fake smile on his face. Hiccup had never really wanted to be chief, that's what his father had wanted him to be. But he had thought about what it would be like to be honored with the title of Chief before. Every one of those different scenarios that he'd dreamed about had evolved his father being here. Now, he was gone, forever. He hoped that at least his father was happy now. Could his father see him right now? Was he as proud now as he would have been proud in person?

Hiccup drew in a long, shaky breath and realized that his smile had faltered. He schooled his face and bowed his head, dismissing himself from the crowd.

He walked away, towards his house. He could hear more than one person following him. He turned around and began walking backwards. He smiled lightly as Astrid, Valka, and Toothless stopped walking. He nodded his head, gesturing them to catch up to him. He turned around, and his smile disappeared.

Hiccup continued to walk on silently. Astrid placed an arm around his shoulders, and Valka put her arm around his shoulders from the other side. He felt safe and loved in their embraces. But he did not feel safe on the inside. His heart felt deprived of the love of a father. Although he was used to having one parent, he was not used to having it not being his father. His mother's love was something he had dreamed of for years, and that he now cherished. But his father's love seemed… different, special.

Hiccup knew that both of these women were proud of him. And they both loved him, he was certain of that. Toothless definitely loved him. Hiccup loved all of these people, well people and dragon, as much and possibly more than they did.

Hiccup was grateful when they reached his house. A pang of sadness once again shot through his heart, and he cringed. It used to be his and his father's house. He supposed that his mother would be staying with him, so it won't be so painfully quiet.

He held the door open for Valka and Toothless.

"You coming in?" Hiccup asked Astrid. She stood at the bottom of the steps with her arms crossed.

"Come here." She said as she sat down on the step.

"Okay…" Hiccup slowly walked down. He knew what she wanted to talk about. He thought about whether he would rather be comforted by his mother. No, she was still so new to him. He wanted someone he was familiar with. Plus, his mother would need as much comforting as he did.

Hiccup sat down and looked out at the sun slowly setting beyond a vast, dark, blue sea. He sensed Astrid staring at him. Without looking away from the landscape he grabbed her hand and rested his wrist on his leg.

"What?" He asked, still not looking at her.

"You know what." Astrid said.

Hiccup sighed and finally turned to face her. Her eyes held compassion, and he felt his heart skip a beat. Those deep, beautiful, blue eyes tended to do that to him.

"What am I thinking?" He asked her.

"Well," a smile graced her lips. "I think you miss your dad right?"

Hiccup nodded and lowered his head slightly.

"I have never had so many friends around me to support me." Hiccup whispered his next sentence. "Yet I've never felt so alone."

Astrid put her hand on his back and rubbed his shoulders.

"I… I wish I knew what to do to make everything better." Astrid squeezed his shoulder before continuing to rub it.

"Just… just be here. Don't ever, ever, go away. Be here for me, with me. That's all I need you to do." Hiccup said quietly. He turned his head back up to look at her. "Have you ever felt like everything depended on your actions?"

Astrid frowned for a minute thinking, then her face brightened a little with an answer. "I don't know, sort of. The few times I've been at battle, I knew that every action I made had only two outcomes. Life, or death." She said.

"Well, I guess I've felt it then too." Hiccup sighed. "The village will look up to me now, just like they did to dad. Even I looked up to him as my chief, as well as my father. Now, I don't have either of those, and no one to look up to. No one to back me up, no one to guide me, to tell me if what I was doing was right or wrong."

"Hiccup, you aren't alone in this. You have your mother, and the gang, and Gobber, and Mulch, and lots of other people to help you. I will always be here too, don't worry about that. No matter what, I will help you, back you up, and help you make hard decisions. All of that frustrating chiefing junk you can share with me. And you will, whether you want to or not. Got it?" Astrid held a finger up to his face.

"Got it." Hiccup chuckled and pushed her finger back down. He sighed contentedly. "Thanks, I needed this."

"You're welcome." Astrid rested her head on his shoulder and wrapped her arm around his. They sat in silence as the village grew darker and darker.

Soon they sat under a blanket of stars. Hiccup looked down at Astrid. Her eye's shown as they reflected the shining stars. A content smile held the corners of her mouth.

"You're beautiful, have I ever told you that?" He said into her ear. She shivered from his breath on her neck.

"Probably. I think you are very handsome. In this last year, you've grown so much emotionally, that's almost more attractive than your looks. And speaking of looks, you have gotten much taller, and you have gotten stronger." Astrid said.

"Well, thank you. I suppose that makes up for those frustrating months when I continuously had to make a new a prosthetic to keep up with my growing." Hiccup chuckled. "But when I was talking to you about you being beautiful, I wasn't talking about your looks. I know I've told you that a million times."

"What were you trying to say then?" Astrid said, slightly sleepy-ish.

"You cared about what I was feeling. You have for the past five years. That makes you beautiful on the inside." Hiccup smiled at her.

"Well, then I guess we're both super attractive then? Inside and out." Astrid winked. She sat there for a bit longer before speaking again.

"I should probably go home now." She said, standing up.

"I'll walk you home." Hiccup stood up.

They walked through the village to Astrid's house mostly in silence. As they neared the Hofferson house, they could see lights still on in through the windows.

They were climbing the steps when suddenly Astrid caught her foot on one. Hiccup wrapped his arms around her waist just seconds before she would have biffed her head on a step. He held her dangling there for a moment before he realized he should stand her up-right. Once she was standing he began to take his hands away, but she quickly gripped them as she wobbled a bit.

"Sorry, I wasn't exactly ready to stand yet. I… I think I can stand now." Hiccup could see a light blush on Astrid's cheeks. She was probably embarrassed that he not only watched her trip but he also caught her.

"It's alright. I didn't mind." Hiccup said, he didn't take his hands away.

"Okay." Astrid quirked an eyebrow.

"Goodnight, milady." Hiccup leaned forward, and gave her a quick kiss on her forehead.

Hiccup gave her hand a quick squeeze, and began to walk down the steps.

"Goodnight, Chief." Astrid winked at him.

Hiccup smiled as he watched her go up the rest of the steps and inside her house.

His smile stayed all the way to his housed.

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Astrid tried to wipe the dreamy, happy look that she knew was on her face as she walked in her house. She looked around and saw her family spread around the house. Astrid went into the kitchen to find her mother.

She helped her mother chop up some vegetables for supper, but she didn't really make any chit-chat.

"Astrid, who was that lady with Hiccup today after the battle?" Her mother's voice made her jump slightly.

Astrid rested her knife on the cutting board and stared at the half sliced carrot. She wondered what her mother would think of the answer. She sighed, feeling horrible for Hiccup who was going through so many different emotions right now. It must be confusing.

"Astrid?" Her mother broke into her thoughts.

"Mom, I know you probably won't believe me but, that… that was Hiccup's mother."

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Hiccup pushed open the door to his house. He laughed when he saw Toothless fall on his head from the ceiling beam that he was hanging from.

His laughter ceased when he saw what was happening on the couch. Hiccup walked over and sat down beside his mother. Her shoulders shook and sobs racked her body. Her face was in her hands and her skirt was soaked with tears.

Hiccup wrapped his arms around her, and tried not to cry himself. He tried so hard, he wanted to be strong for his mother. But his emotions won out and soon his own tears were slowly falling down.

"It'll be okay. It'll be okay. Everything will be okay." Hiccup didn't know what else to say to comfort her. He knew those words wouldn't really help her, because they didn't help him any.

"I always thought I would never see him again, so why is it so hard to know that he's gone for good?" She choked out through a sob.

"I don't know. And I don't have any answers to solve our hurt. But I do know this, we can and we will get through this, together." Hiccup hoped at least those words made her feel better. They had given him a little more hope.

Hiccup let his mom soak his sleeve until her tears finally stopped. She wiped her hands on a dry part of her skirt and looked up at her son. Her eyes were blood-shot, and around them it was puffy and red. Her nose was a little red as well.

"Thank you, Hiccup." She smiled. "Hiccup, it's so nice to be able to say your name again. I can't believe that… that… that we can be mother and son again."

"I'm glad too." Hiccup smiled. Then he had an idea. An idea that might just cheer his mother up. "How would you like a proper welcome to Berk and a real introduction to my friends tomorrow?"

"That would be great! Working together to defeat a mountain of a dragon is not a very good introduction." Valka smiled, and her eyes twinkled. His idea had given her something to look forward too. And she was definitely happy to have found her son.

"Then it's settled. My first order of business as Chief of Berk, is to welcome back Valka Haddock!"

A/N

Hey! I hope you enjoy this story, as it continues! :) This was a pretty emotional chapter, but this sort of a emotional story, so.

Anywho, I don't know if you guys have gotten any hints as to where this story will go from the title and some stuff in this chapter, but I did leave you some clues. ;) Have a good day everyone! Any small review is highly appreciated!

~Annanarra