Tempest

They stumbled into the dorm room by the light of the moon, swaying and leaning into each other while their blood dripped down to mingle on the floor.

"Bathroom," Tokaku grunted, pain shooting through her ankle as she trusted it with her weight more than she should.

"I know," Haru replied, her voice no more than a strained whisper.

Of course she knew. How many times had they done this now, patching each other up in the hours of darkness between one deadly battle and the next? Tokaku took a moment to wrestle her boots off, glad that Haru was too distracted with kicking off her own shoes to notice the grimace she couldn't suppress.

A few more limping steps and they made it to the bathroom, lights flicking on to flare over white tiles and bloodstained skin.

"Your legs," Tokaku panted, looking down at the countless rivulets of blood still running down Haru's legs and pooling under the soles of her feet, making her leave bloody footprints as she walked.

Not fast enough, she thought, deliberately crucifying herself on a cross of guilt as merciless as Isuke's punches. Not fast enough to stop her being hurt.

There were cuts on Haru's arms too; as Tokaku touched them gently blood and water smeared under her fingertips. She could smell the rotten stink of Isuke and Shinya dirtying Haru's scent. "We have to clean you up…"

"You first," said Haru firmly, briefly meeting Tokaku's eyes and letting her know she'd take no arguments. "There's glass in your back."

After only a slight hesitation, Tokaku gave in with a nod. If Haru wanted to be stubborn there was no point disagreeing with her; she wouldn't change her mind and an argument would just end up causing further delays in treating both of them.

Tokaku moved her fingers to her shirt buttons, but they were still half numb from the rain and her hands were shaking with cold and probably other things besides. Haru only watched her struggle for a moment before taking the job over herself, drawing in a sharp breath of horror when she opened the shirt enough to reveal the deep purple bruises blooming over Tokaku's ribs.

"Forget that," said Tokaku, helping Haru peel the soaked and shredded shirt off of her. Wearing only her bra and her torn skirt, she turned and braced her arms on the bathroom sink.

"Do it," she said shortly.

From experience Tokaku knew Haru was good at treating injuries. She didn't waste time flipping out, and her hands were always steady and gentle. Sometimes Tokaku wondered if Haru had done things like this for other protectors before her; others who were now dead. It was pointless to think about, the kind of speculation she never would have bothered with before.

She watched Haru covertly in the bathroom mirror, a slight frown of concentration on her face as she carefully picked out one piece of glass after another with the surgical tweezers that were part of the extensive first aid kit she always seemed to have on hand.

"This will be easier if I can take your bra off."

Their eyes collided in the mirror. Tokaku felt something hot unfurl in her stomach and was almost sure Haru saw it.

"Go ahead." Her voice was jagged as the shards of glass lodged in her back.

She jumped as Haru's fingers brushed over her skin and lowered her eyes to stare into the sink as the clasp of her bra snapped free. Her body was suddenly awash with inconvenient desires that were not going to be met, and visions flashed through her mind of all the possible things Haru might do to her in this position that had nothing to do with first aid treatments.

Hoping Haru would interpret her shuddering breath as one of pain, Tokaku slid the bra down her arms and let it drop at her feet on the bloody tiles.

"I think that's it," Haru said a short time later, during which no further conversation passed between them. "You can turn around now."

A mound of bloody glass shards sat on a towel on the edge of the bath. Tokaku looked at them with dispassionate interest, trying to keep her weight off her injured ankle. It should have been strapped before this; already it had blown up to twice its size, but dealing with the glass had been more urgent.

"The knife wound from Isuke…"

"It's not bleeding," said Tokaku, checking it quickly. "We should…" Her eyes strayed to the shower stall, easily big enough for two people.

Haru's lips were nearly blue; her hair was still sopping wet and plastered to her forehead from running through the storm. Tokaku should have noticed all this sooner, insisted Haru warm up before treating her. She staggered a little; exhaustion momentarily trumping her body's out of place arousal.

"Tokaku…"

"Shower, now. Both of us."

She tugged off the last of her filthy clothes and stepped into the shower, pulling Haru after her before she was even fully undressed. Tokaku turned up the spray of water as hot as they could bear, letting it blast over both of them and wash away the caked blood and dirt from another night spent fighting to stay alive. Their half frozen limbs warmed back into life and Haru's skin smelled clean again, the scent of her attempted murderers washed into the drain.

Haru struggled out of the last of her clothes with Tokaku's help; once they were both naked all it took was an exchange of smouldering glances and they were kissing with desperate abandon, Haru almost flinging herself into Tokaku's arms in the midst of streaming water and rising steam.

Neither of them seemed to care that this was far in excess of anything that had ever happened between them before. Sure, they'd shared the occasional hug that perhaps bordered on more-than-friendly. They'd sometimes slink into each other's beds late at night seeking the comfort of another warm body in the midst of imminent death. And there was that one might-have-been underwater kiss.

But this…This was new. Tonight, the typhoon and the fights and the violence had succeeding in sweeping their shy, tentative courtship right away and brought on instead the raw need to feel, to press body to body and know they were still alive, desire running rampant through nerves freshly shredded with fear.

"I thought you were dead," Haru whispered, voice twisting in pain, sucking purple marks of possession down the side of Tokaku's neck while her hands roved boldly over places where Tokaku had never been touched by another before.

Tokaku moaned, unashamed, grasping Haru's hips and almost, but not quite, daring to touch her where she really wanted to. Her ankle was on fire and her one good leg was trembling so badly she wouldn't be able to keep standing for much longer.

Haru's arms and legs and were still a mess and Tokaku's back probably needed plastering too; the slash from Isuke was stinging again, maybe bleeding.

It wasn't that Tokaku wanted this to stop, but logically, it had to, long enough for them to finish cleaning up and find the comfort of a bed before one or both of them collapsed.

With her last ounce of sanity and willpower, she got a hold of Haru's shoulders and gently but firmly pushed her back. After switching the shower off, they stood staring at each other with their rough breaths filling the silence.

Tokaku tried not to let her gaze linger on the enticing flush spread all over Haru's body, tried not to be moved by the impatient, hungry look in her eyes. She could smell the sweet scent of lust between Haru's legs and gritted her teeth as she felt herself grow even more wet in response.

"Finish treating our injuries first," Tokaku managed to get out. "Then—"

She didn't bother finishing. The want she could hear in her own voice said it all.

Haru looked exasperated for a moment, like she wanted to scold Tokaku and maybe kiss her mercilessly just to teach her that logic should have no sway at times like these, but Tokaku really was in pain by this point and a bed was fast becoming not just an indulgence but a necessity if she didn't want to end up crashing onto the slippery tiles.

She didn't want to admit any of that, but she knew she had no other way to get Haru's agreement.

"Haru," she said quietly. "My ankle…I'm not sure how much longer I can stand."

Finally looking down at the massively swollen ankle, Haru's eyes widened guiltily. "Tokaku, I'm sorry. I didn't realise…"

Tokaku shook her head and stepped out of the shower gingerly. She grabbed a towel for herself and threw another to Haru.

"It's fine. I just need to sit down."

Half an hour later, Tokaku was nearly regretting her decision to stop. Almost as soon as they began disinfecting and bandaging each other up, the fever-pitch of emotion faded and Haru didn't seem to want to meet her eyes anymore. It was like the whole thing hadn't happened. At some point, Haru threw on a pair of underpants and a pyjama top, covering up, her scent just a lingering sweetness teasing at the edge of Tokaku's consciousness.

Almost defiantly Tokaku remained wrapped in nothing but a towel, discarding it as she got into bed. Maybe nothing was going to come of what had happened in the shower, but Tokaku had promised her, and back then at least, she was sure Haru had wanted it.

Something tense and electric slipped into the air as Tokaku let the towel fall away and Haru turned out the light. Once its artificial glow disappeared Tokaku could see the moon shining down on them, bright in the now-clear sky. Perhaps she hadn't miscalculated after all. She knew she'd felt the heat of Haru's gaze a moment ago tracking over that brief flash of bare skin before the lights went out.

"Haru," Tokaku whispered as Haru walked into the space between their two beds, her movements jerky and tentative as if she was undecided about where to sleep.

Haru looked towards her and wordlessly Tokaku raised the covers on her bed, knowing and not caring that her need was as naked as her body.

Before Haru, desires had always been distant things that happened to other people, and Tokaku was unprepared for the strength of her own. Not just the physical side of what she felt but her emotions – her determination to keep Haru safe, her longing to bring happiness to this girl who had known just as much death as she had.

At times the strength of her feelings frightened Tokaku so much she wanted to pull back, but she was also a creature driven by instinct who rarely thought about where her actions would take her. And right now, tonight, was one of those times. All she cared about was that she wanted Haru, and from the way Haru's scent grew stronger, thick and heavy like honey, Tokaku knew Haru wanted her as well.

There was only a brief hesitation before Haru accepted the invitation, slipping beneath Tokaku's covers and curling into her. She was trembling but she didn't object when Tokaku's hands resumed their exploration of her, slow and sensual this time round; raised her arms to help Tokaku peel the pyjama top off her and gave no protest when Tokaku pressed their chests together, hardened nipples rubbing as they kissed.

As pleasurable as it was feeling Haru's breasts against hers, truthfully, the enthusiasm of Haru's earlier embraces had left Tokaku's already tender ribs in a fairly pitiful state, and she could only stand the contact for a few moments before she drew back with a gasp that was more pain than pleasure.

"Tokaku," Haru murmured, concern in her voice.

"I'm fine," said Tokaku quickly. "Here…Like – like this."

In one easy move she used the strength of her body to roll Haru onto her back. Keeping her arms braced to ease the pressure on her ribs, she lowered her head and traced that glorious expanse of skin with her lips, running her tongue over silk softness and the roughened ridges of scars, but something was seriously starting to go awry now.

Though her scent was still confusingly strong, Haru was radiating unhappiness, her body stiff and unresponsive beneath Tokaku's own.

"Haru, what's wrong?" Tokaku breathed, stopping to caress her reassuringly. "You don't like something I'm doing?"

It might be the scars, she reasoned. Haru always hated people looking at her scars. Maybe she didn't want Tokaku to touch them.

Haru's face was turned away from her, hidden in shadow so that Tokaku couldn't see her expression. Why wouldn't she look at her? Tokaku wanted those eyes on her the way they'd been in the shower, full of desire for her warm, living flesh. She wanted Haru to mark her again, claim ownership of her body. God, how Tokaku wanted to belong to somebody, for once.

Finally, Haru said, "I don't want to do this." The quiet, miserable admission broke Tokaku's heart and quickly turned her fantasies to dust.

"I'm sorry," she said shakily, filled with the disgust of self-loathing. "I didn't mean to force you." She moved off of Haru to lie beside her, staring up at the ceiling as she tried to figure out how she could have possibly misunderstood what happened in the shower. "I thought you wanted to."

Pain needled into her back from the cuts pressing against the mattress. Surreptitiously, Tokaku tried to increase the pressure, hating herself for nearly hurting the girl she'd sworn to protect.

"I do want to," whispered Haru. "But not like this."

"Like…What?" In bed? While they were injured? With Tokaku on top of her?

Haru sighed. "You think this ends the moment Class Black is over. That's why you're doing this now. Earlier I lost control in a way I shouldn't have. I'd already decided we can't be together like that. Not until this is over. That's the only way to convince you this is real."

Real, thought Tokaku. Was anything in her life real? Did she even have a life? How could she ask someone to cast themselves into an assassin's existence with her? Especially someone she loved?

"Haru, once this is over, if we both even manage to survive…"

"Yes, Tokaku?" Her face serious, Haru shifted onto an elbow and looked down at Tokaku, tenderly stroking her face. "Tell me, what do you want in the future?"

Tokaku's chest tightened painfully and she turned away from Haru to lie on her side. "I don't think about the future," she said roughly. "I can't."

"Why not?"

Several heartbeats passed before Tokaku answered, clenching her fist around her pillow as she spoke. "Because what waits for me is killing others until someday someone kills me."

"That sounds like a miserable future."

"That's why I don't think about it."

"You can walk away from it," said Haru, her fingers stroking through Tokaku's hair.

Tokaku jerked at the unfamiliar contact, and irritably shook Haru off. She didn't want to fool herself. There was no point giving in to false comforts. Even so, she was a little shocked at how hopeless her reply sounded. She thought she'd stopped caring about all of this a long time ago. "There's nothing else I can do. This is all that I am."

"It's not all that you are!" Haru's voice was as sharp as a knife. "If that were true, you would have killed me already."

"That's different," said Tokaku gruffly.

"How? Aren't you under orders to assassinate me? Won't you get into trouble for failing to comply? None of the others changed their mind, so why did you?"

"You know why." Tokaku turned back towards Haru, cupping her cheek in a gesture that was tangled longing and frustration.

Haru's eyes were soft and steady on hers. "So what happens afterwards? I'm supposed to just let you go and watch that world eat you alive? You think I would do that?"

Tokaku made sure to keep her eyes and her voice cold. "It can't be any other way."

"It can. I'm inviting you to leave your world and come and share mine. What is so hard about that? Do you want to spend your life killing others?"

Something in Tokaku cracked, and she found she couldn't keep lying. Not to Haru, not to herself. "No," she admitted wretchedly. "That's not the future I want."

"Then find another path."

"It's not that easy," said Tokau angrily. "This is what I was born into. This is my destiny. I have no control over it. That's something you can't understand."

Haru blinked, her face suddenly more furious than Tokaku would have thought possible. "I don't understand? How can you say that to me, Tokaku, when I've been targeted for death since the day I was born, just for being who I am? When I've lost my whole family and everyone I ever knew? I never asked for that. I never wanted it. But I won't let it destroy me. You don't have to either. Stop being a coward. Stop going down the road that you know is going to destroy you and actually think and make a decision for once in your life. Aren't I…Aren't I even worth that much to you?"

She ended plaintively, the question hanging like a spectre between them.

"You're worth everything to me, Haru," Tokaku whispered. "And that's why, as soon as this is over, I'm going to let you go. You'll have a better life without me."

"No," said Haru flatly, her arms going around Tokaku's waist. "I'm not going to lose you over some misguided reasoning like that."

Forgetting Tokaku's injuries, she squeezed her, too hard, and Tokaku flinched and barely suppressed a cry of pain.

"Tokaku!" Immediately Haru's arms loosened, her voice contrite. "Sorry. I forgot…"

"Haru." It took a few panting breaths before Tokaku could go on. "This can't work the way you want it to. I don't belong anywhere except in the shadows. We can't—"

"You want me don't you?"

Soft fingertips hushed Tokaku's lips as Haru spoke.

"That could hardly be more obvious," Tokaku said dryly, eyes sliding away in embarrassment as she felt a throb between her legs.

"Well the only way I'm going to let you have me – the only way it's going to happen – is once we've gotten through this. You need to make a choice about what you want, Tokaku, because I won't share you with a world that's going to destroy you. At the end of this, you can have me, or you can have your old life back, but you can't have both."

The set of Haru's jaw was implacable. Incongruously, she was also nearly crying. She was warm, so warm, and Tokaku couldn't help touching her, couldn't help wanting the smell of sunlight to stay in her bed.

Resolutely, she turned away from temptation and hunched onto her side again, staring at the wall. "Then I'll never have you, Haru," she said, voice thick with unshed tears. "That world has already taken my soul, and I doubt you'd want what's left. But it's okay. I'll still protect you until the end. I'll do that no matter what."

Haru's hands skimmed lightly across her bandaged back. "You're wrong Tokaku," she whispered. "I want you because, despite everything you've been through, that world hasn't taken your soul. Not yet. Even tonight, you chose not to kill. We'll be together one day. You'll see."

Tokaku sighed and closed her eyes and tried to ignore the stubborn flutters of pleasure still pulsing hopefully in her belly. She didn't ask Haru to get out of her bed. She didn't object when she felt the other girl snuggling into her beneath the covers. Overall, her resolve was not doing well.

The tempest was past, but there were more storms on the horizon.