Oh my goodness gracious I am so sorry everyone. I have not updated in forever! But don't worry, I intend to change that!

*AK makes a straight line on a piece of paper*

All is right with the world.

Anyways, since it's almost Christmas, I have decided to give you all your present two days early! I ask for nothing in return!

(Though I could really go for a donut right now.)

Anyways, enjoy this next exciting episode while I proceed to pull my cat off of my keyboard fifty thousand times!
-

We start our episode at Kirby's house. No? Then where are we? Oh, we're in Meta Knight's meta-cave? Usually, I would question such a location, but it's Christmas so I'll let it slide.

So Meta Knight, Lord Raspy Voice, Fumu the Warrior Princess, and Kirby were all decorating for that holiday. They put up lights, they decorated the Christmas armoire (they don't have pine trees in Dreamland because I prefer armoire), they sang Christmas carols, and they made their Christmas lists to send to the magical elf guru (Meg for short).

"What did you write on your list, everyone?" asked Tuff.

"I asked for legs!" Lady Brattysnob screeched in her stupid voice. I hate her stupid voice.

"I asked for a better paycheck," Kirby said in an adorable voice that made AK squeal and pinch his little cheeks.

"I asked for an armada of the most dangerous rebels in the entire galaxy," Meta Knight answered as he started floating. I wish I could float.

The other peoples were flabbergasted.

"And a pony!"

The other peoples all nodded in agreement. That was Meta Knight, alright.

But uh-oh, it appears that the gang can't have happiness, because the wall exploded. After the smoke cleared, everyone saw that it was King Dedede!

"Howdy, y'all!" the penguin dude greeted. "I heard y'all were gettin' ready for Christmas...y'all!"

All of those idiots (and Kirby) nodded their heads. This task was especially complex for Kirby and Meta Knight, as they are a head with hands and feet.

"Well, I hate Christmas...y'all!" Dedede announced, and inhaled their Christmas Armoire. "And I also hate armoires...y'all!"

"YOU'RE SO CRUEL! WHAT DID ARMOIRES EVER DO TO YOU?!" Meta Knight started crying, which made Kirby roll his adorable eyes.

King Dedede only laughed evilly, and was sent back to his castle thanks to a conveniently placed teleportation pad.

"What are we gonna do?!" Fumu shrieked. Gosh, Fumu, shut up.

They all sat in silence for ten minutes until Tuff exclaimed, "I'VE GOT IT!"

Everyone watched him pull a cockroach out of his pants and eat it.

"YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME," Tiff said as she facepalmed.

"No, no, wait," Kirby said. The teeny tiny cogs in his Kirby head were finally starting to turn. "I think he's on to something."

Kirby then picked up Tuff and tossed him out the window.

"Follow me," he said in his tiny voice that makes all the girls swoon.

So then they were at Kirby's house-oh, they're right outside.

"So what's your big plan, genius?" Lady Brattysnob asked sarcastically. But then AK pointed her "YOU'DBETTERNOTGOTHERE" gun towards her. "I mean, what is your noble plot, oh round pink god?"

AK nodded slowly and crept back into the shadows.

"Well," Kirby began. "If we had a giant cockroach, we could ride it to the castle and save the Christmas Armoire!"

"Hm," Meta Knight chimed in. "That is a good idea, but I see one flaw in your plan."

"Poyo?"

"We don't have directions to the castle."

"WE ALSO DON'T HAVE A GIANT COCKROACH!" Fumu screamed at the top of her lungs, causing a snow avalanche. Because it was snowing outside. Because Christmas=snow outside. Because logic.

After they dug themselves out of the avalanche, they all gasped. There was a giant cockroach weearing a santa hat!

"You have got to be kidding me," Tiff mumbled.

The gang waited for Tuff to finish vomiting at the sight of such an godly creature before mounting it.

"To Castle Dedede!" Kirby commanded, but uh-oh, they didn't move.

"What's wrong with this thing?" The not-as-annoying-as-Tiff-but-still-pretty-annoying Tuff asked impatiently.

"You didn't ask politely," answered the cockroach whose name was Leonard.

"Oh," said Kirby. "To Castle Dedede please."

"Okay," replied Leonard, who floated up in a straight line. Then they were there!

"It was up there the whole time?!" Tiff asked.

"Apparently," answered Tuff.

So the gang marched into the castle with angry faces (except for Meta Knight, he was actually giggling like a ninny because he was excited) and Kirby ripped off the door to the throne room because he was a freakin' boss.

King Dedede was flabbergasted.

"I like that word," Kirby says. Me, too, Kirby. Me, too.

"What do y'all want...y'all?" the king asked. He was trying to act all tough but he was really sweaty.

"We're here for our Christmas armoire!" declared Tuff. "If we don't, then Meg will never give us loot!"

"Fine!" Dedede gave in really easily and vomited up their armoire.

Everyone cheered, even Leonard. But not Dedede, 'cuz he was crying.

"What's wrong, Dededoofus?" Kirby asked in the most sympathetic way.

"It's just that I never get a gift...y'all! I thought that if I took a good person's armoire that maybe I would get one this year...y'all!"

"But Dedederp," Kirby said. "Christmas isn't about gifts, or armoire, or any of that stupid stuff! Those are just symbols to represent a bigger holiday! The gifts are things you give to people you love, and the armoire represents...something else. That stuff doesn't matter, though! Because the true meaning of Christmas is-"

Kirby was interrupted when a man walked into the room. He was all dressed in green and white, and wore a floppy hat, and had pointy ears.

"HOLY CHEESECAKE!" Kirby screamed, and ran over to the man with his tiny Kirby feet. "SCREW THE TRUE MEANING OF CHRISTMAS! IT'S MEG!"

"Everyone rushed around Meg as he handed out their gifts. Dedede walked up slowly, with those giant sad anime eyes.

"Did y'all get somethin' for me...y'all?" he asked sadly.

Meg handed him a gift. The penguin dude snatched it away greedily and tore open the wrapping paper. Once he realized what the gift was, a tiny tear rolled down his cheek.

"It's just what I always wanted...y'all!" Dedede held his gift in the air, and that Zelda 'da da da da!' noise went off.

"A toaster?" Tiff the girl who has no appreciation for fine kitchenware asked in disbelief.

"Yes."

So in the end, everyone got what they wanted. Kirby got a better paycheck (which he ate soon afterward), Tiff got stilts (close enough), Tuff got a rock, Leonard got a golf cap, and Meta Knight got a pony.

Then they all danced like they danced in the Charlie Brown Christmas special.

Then Meg had to go. So he flew away.

"GOODBYE, MEG!" the gang screamed. "MERRY CHRISTMAS!"

"EYAAH!" Meg, whose name was actually Link, answered.

"Well, this has been the weirdest Christmas special ever," Lady Brattysnob observed.

"Well, at least it's not as weird as the other episodes," Lord Raspyvoice commented.

And, to end the special, Kirby then said, "Poyo!"

What, you thought he would say, "God bless us, everyone"? Ha! You're wrong.

"Also, God bless us, everyone!"

DANG NABBIT.

-
Well, I hope you enjoyed! Sorry if it's not as funny. I haven't written this in so long, I kind of have slip back into the style.

Also, I just wanted to apologize again for my absence! One of my New Year's resolutions is to post a LOT more fanfics. I'll do updates on this one, I'll do some Smash Bros. ones, maybe I'll even do some Zelda stuff.

Thank you to everyone who has left a review! They really help get me motivated to write, so I really appreciate it. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! :)

~ArtisticKirby