Because the NejiTen page on FFN has been slow these few days... (I posted this earlier today but FFN was screwing up, so I deleted that and am reposting. :P) here's On Being Nejiko, being posted a day earlier than scheduled. ;) Happy New Year everyone! May 2015 bring us lots more NejiTen ;)

Naruto and its characters do not belong to me.


On Being Nejiko

Part 1: Nejiko

Warm summer sunshine beams down on the village of Konoha, with the usual bustle and cheer echoing from every corner as its occupants lead their daily lives. Scents of food and peddlers' bells fill the air, emanating a sense of peace throughout.

All is not well in the Hokage's tower, however.

"Surely you can't expect this of me, Tsunade-sama!" Neji frowns, folding his arms. Beside him, Tenten stifles a giggle.

"Yes, I can, and I will. Surely you have the skills and chakra control to carry this out," the Hokage answers, fixing him with a tawny-eyed stare. "As the prodigy of the Hyuuga clan, I expect no less of you."

"But this entails my transformation into a female for the duration of the mission!" Neji protests. "The success rate of an actual woman undertaking this mission would be higher-"

"Hyuuga Hinata is currently away on a long mission, as you know. The target has a weakness for women who can activate the Byakugan but not use it well. I don't want to have to repeat myself yet another time." Tsunade frowns deeply at him, inching her fingers towards a bottle of sake at a discreet corner of her desk. "Are you a man, or not?"

"I am-"

"Then you will complete this mission successfully. As a jounin, you will be the captain on this mission. Tenten, you will be Nejiko's male bodyguard for the duration. You have two days to prepare yourselves - the target is moving quickly, as discussed - and three days to travel and obtain information on the drug's whereabouts from the target. Am I clear?"

"Yes, Tsunade-sama," they chorus (albeit unwillingly, on Neji's part).

"Dismissed," the Hokage commands with a sweep of her hand, and promptly reaches for her sake bottle.

Neji is the first to speak after they've ventured out of Tsunade's earshot. "I can't believe she assigned this mission to me," he bristles, a deep furrow on his forehead. "I have no inclination towards being a female - surely there are others who would be capable of imitating the Byakugan in looks-"

"Then there must be something else we need the Byakugan for, that she's not telling us," Tenten muses. She unravels the mission scroll that Neji was all too willing to offload onto her, scanning through the printed details. "Oh. She did tell us."

Neji pauses when she stops walking in the middle of the street, looking curiously back at her. "Tenten."

She hurries to catch up with him, and they continue on as before. "It says here that the target really is a pervert. Look."

"What?" Neji gapes, horrified, as his pale eyes scan through the words on the scroll. "The Hokage made no mention about actually using the Byakugan to seduce him-"

"Probably because she wanted us out of her office before you could protest any more," Tenten muses dryly.

Neji turns his head to fully gawk at her, jaw hanging open. Tenten sees the cogs turning in his head. "This can't be right," he sputters.

She scans him with a critical eye, and suddenly sees why Tsunade has paired them up on this mission - there is no way Neji will accept lessons on the way of the kunoichi from any other female. "We have two days," she tells him. "Besides, you're a pretty boy - your hair is long and smooth - and you won't need all that much chakra, really, if you're only going to make subtle changes to your appearance."

"'Subtle changes'?" Neji repeats, affronted. He jerks away from her curious fingers. "Refrain from touching my hair. And I'm not a pretty boy."

"Whatever you say, Nejiko," Tenten grins. "Come on, let's head to my apartment to get you prepared for the mission."


"We're being sent on a cross-dressing mission," Neji grumbles, when they've settled into Tenten's cramped bedroom, with various weapons and scrolls strewn across the place. "Yet you get to keep your name and figure."

Tenten shrugs. "I could just be a feminine boy. Like you," she adds, as an afterthought, and Neji glowers at her. "Besides, I bind my chest."

"I could be binding my chest too," he mutters sourly.

"No. You need to be seducing the target, remember?" Tenten rolls her eyes. She gestures at her chest, mimicking full globes with her hands. "That means he needs to see cleavage."

Neji flinches.

"Anyhow," Tenten continues, throwing her closet doors open. "In the event that you lose your henge, we'd need you to be dressed in actual women's clothes, so it isn't immediately obvious that you're actually a man."

He remains silent, grudgingly. Tenten has a point there.

"What are your measurements?" she asks, looking him over.

Neji raises a brow. "Measurements?"

"You know, shoulders, chest, hips," Tenten explains, turning back to the closet to flip through some dresses that Neji has never seen before. "I can't imagine you'd want to be seen shopping for women's clothes at any point."

No, he doesn't.

"So the next best alternative is to lend you mine," she continues, pulling a slinky black dress out, that looks like a mess of ripples of cloth. "We'd be looking at clothes that will still fit you as a man."

"I won't lose the henge," he grouses sullenly. There is no way in hell he'd let his true face show - it would strip him of every shred of dignity, for one.

Tenten looks pointedly at him. "I'd rather not take chances, seeing as you've never done this before."

And she's right again. Neji exhales heavily. "I don't know my measurements. You'd do better to take them now."

Tenten hums and presses the pliable surface of a tape measure against his shoulders, before motioning for him to stand. "Your shoulders are four inches wider than mine. Same with chest circumference. Hip circumference is an inch smaller."

The numbers don't really mean anything to him, so he watches as she frowns and steps back towards her store of clothes. When had she accumulated such a variety? Neji realizes that Tenten hasn't shared the details of certain missions with him, those that require she wear extremely revealing outfits.

"You've gone on seduction missions before?" he asks, awkwardly. They are very close, for teammates who have spent almost a decade together, but Tenten has never divulged what those particular missions require her to do.

"Yeah, I have." She is still turned towards the closet, and he can't read the expression on her face, nor the inflection in her tone. "But I did figure out why the target might be vulnerable to a lady with the Byakugan."

"And why is that?" he asks suspiciously, eyes narrowed.

She spins around to face him then, another dress in hand, coupled with some sort of a shawl. There's a playful grin on her lips. "Because the Byakugan is kinky, you see. You'd be able to look through his clothes-"

"I won't do that!" he interrupts with a shudder. Is Tenten trying to induce nausea? "How could you-"

"That's probably why Tsunade-sama wanted you to play this role," she speculates, shrugging. "Anyone else would probably have to guess, or play the coy, shy Hyuuga girl who leans on his chest and whispers, 'Aa, Kenichi-sama, I- I see how you're feeling big, but-'"

"And you can't do that?" Neji grouses, unnerved by the breathy tone Tenten used in her imitation of Hinata-sama. She's done that to perfection, with practiced ease, and he wonders how many times she's let unsavory characters feel her up. Neji grits his teeth. No, he can't expect her to complete this mission in his stead. "Forget I said that."

Tenten raises an eyebrow at him. "Sure, I could, but what if he tries to play hide-and-seek with me? Or something just as kinky? He might be testing the integrity of my supposed Byakugan."

He frowns, and yields reluctantly, "Then let's carry on with the mission preparations."

"Right. I've picked out a couple of dresses and a yukata that should fit you before and after the transformation, so what's left are the undergarments," she tells him. Neji looks dubiously at her, and questions his decision to continue all over again. "What kind of underwear do you usually wear?"

"Do you require this information?" He narrows his eyes.

"Yes," Tenten grins. "So I can gauge what kind of underwear you'll be able to wear on this mission, you know?"

He folds his arms, looks away. "I prefer briefs."

"Oh, the tightie-whities." Her deep brown eyes twinkle mischievously at him. "You like it tight, huh?"

His gaze flickers quickly back towards her. Neji shifts his weight uncomfortably between his feet. What kind of question is that? "I'd rather we focus on the mission at hand."

"Yes, yes, I'm focusing on the mission," she assures, and turns to a chest of drawers, rummaging in one. "If you're used to wearing tight stuff... What about a thong?"

Neji looks on in apprehension as she pulls a sorry excuse of an undergarment out, lacy bits held together by pieces of elastic material. "You expect me to wear that?"

"Yes," she replies with no lack of confidence. "You'll look like a total woman, Neji."

He stares at her in absolute horror. Surely he doesn't need pieces of fabric of this nature to complete the mission. Besides, Tenten's worn that- that thing. Doesn't she mind it on him? How on earth is it even going to fit-

"I figure that it's going to be easier if you put these on first, then transform into a female," Tenten chatters, as if oblivious to his discomfort. She hands him a lace bra. "My cup size is a B, so don't go transforming yourself much larger than that, or you won't fit."

Heat prickles on his cheeks. He doesn't really need that visual, does he?

"Can't I- Don't you have something less sheer?" Neji fumbles, staring at the pieces of lace in his hands.

"Are you seducing our target, or not?" Tenten demands, looking pointedly at him. "I've had to do it too. It isn't that difficult, you know."

He doesn't know if he's more distracted by the thought of Tenten stripping in front of some unknown man, or that she'd be witnessing him in the throes of mortification. Neji decides that, right now, he's more concerned about having to undress and present himself to Tenten as a half-naked woman.

"Come on, I won't look while you get dressed," she orders, turning away. "Wear the undergarments while you're still a guy, so you can adjust for the tightness of the bra, then henge into a Hyuuga girl. The panties should stretch to fit."

Neji clenches his jaw and glances to make sure that Tenten is really not peeking. (She isn't.) He drags himself out of his robes, feeling incredibly exposed, and fumbles for a painfully long moment with the thong, wondering which holes he's supposed to fit his legs through. It is with an exhale of relief when he manages to squeeze himself into the undergarment (somewhat) - though it feels more like some sort of a balancing act at the groin.

The bra is next. It slips on easily enough, but the hook catches none of the eyelets - he struggles for an even longer moment, remembers that his chest is far wider than hers, and gives up. Neji pictures one of his distant cousins in his mind, alters her dimensions to Tenten's, and forms the seals for the transformation jutsu.

There is a quiet pop and some smoke - Tenten whips her head around, and stares with what appears to be awe.

"Wow," she breathes, "Tsunade was right in choosing you for this mission."

He doesn't know if he should be offended, proud, or a mixture of both.

Wordlessly, Neji reaches behind to clasp the bra - it fits perfectly now. "It was too tight before," he explains, and his voice comes out as a breathy squeak. He winces.

Tenten's eyes are round. "No one will be able to tell that it's you," she swears, "Except your face still looks a little like your own. But that's fine - show some cleavage, and all their attention will be on your chest."

He gives her a dirty stare, and steps in front of an oval mirror to examine his transformation. Some semblance of his distant cousin stares back at him, with a rounder face and fuller lips, and creamy skin that swells up into the lacy bra. Neji swallows, unnerved. It feels as if he's looking lewdly at a cousin of his (which he kind of is), so he checks the rest of Nejiko's figure for errors (there is thankfully none) and turns back to Tenten.

"This is enough practice for the day," he announces, wishing he were back home, looking like himself and in more clothes than these tiny scraps of nothing.

Tenten is still looking at Nejiko's chest. "You look perfect," she mumbles, goggling. "I would- well, if I were a man, I would totally have the hots for you."

Neji stares incredulously at her. "Tenten," he exclaims, aghast.

She blinks and flushes. "Um, well, try walking around, sway your hips a little, you know? You can't just be all looks and no substance."

He takes a grudging step forward, and another- And the thong promptly slips where the sun never shines.

Neji winces. He has a moment to decide if he wants to leave that alone - and he's reaching down, lifting the material away from his behind. Another few steps forward - is he swaying his hips right? - and the material finds itself wedged in his butt again, uncomfortably and distractingly so. He pauses.

"Stop looking like that, Nejiko," Tenten calls, and he turns and frowns at her. She props her fists on her hips. "You're going to fail this mission right away if you keep that pinched look on your face."

"This-" He gestures towards the thong, voice still too high for his liking, "Is not what I had in mind when I mentioned briefs. It feels like I'm flossing my teeth, only-"

Tenten bursts out laughing, doubled up, and remains on her bed for several long moments, her shoulders shaking uncontrollably. He looks indignantly at her. "Well," she gasps, "It's supposed to make you feel sexy."

His (or rather, Nejiko's) face turns an ugly shade of puce.

"This is degrading!" he sputters. "There is no need for me to feel sexy on a mission-"

"Well, we'll need it in place just in case the target gets your clothes off-"

Neji tenses. "He'll learn the meaning of jyuuken before he does-"

"And discover our true identities?" Tenten clicks her tongue. She remains surveying him contemplatively, and finally allows, "I'll lend you another pair - lace, but not a thong."

He watches as she strolls over to her drawers and pulls another pair out - white and sheer like the bra - and hands it to him. Neji waits for her to look away, but she doesn't ("Hey, I've got all of those parts," she tells him), so he glowers at her and tugs the thong off, pulling the new pair on just as quickly. This pair stretches over Nejiko's bottom, and hugs his figure better when he attempts swaying his hips this time.

"Here, try this on," Tenten suggests, handing him the slinky black dress. It takes him a while longer to pull it over his head, though Neji is immensely grateful for how much less skin the dress reveals. It doesn't look as disgraceful on him when he has the form of a female. Crinkled cloth extends down from his shoulders and edges a hard V along Nejiko's breasts (somehow, the lace bra isn't showing), casting shadows into the dip of his chest. Tenten reaches over and adjusts the neckline of the dress. "You know, there's one other trick to accentuate your cleavage."

Before he thinks to stop her, she's pressing up behind him, grabbing his hands. Neji freezes. Tenten's chest presses into his back, flat from how she's bound it, and she curls the fingers of his left hand into both the dress and bra, lifting the material away from his skin.

"Lean forward a little," she instructs, and eases their right hands into the bra, scooping Nejiko's breast towards her sternum. Tenten stills. "You know, breasts aren't supposed to be muscle," she blurts. He blinks, and realizes that he's messed up on the transformation of his chest. "You'll have to remember to make them soft - here, I'll show you mine."

There's a slight blush on her cheeks, but Tenten is shrugging out of her shirt, and unraveling her chest bindings anyway. "You don't have to do this," he grits, swallowing hard. Seeing his own chest turned feminine is one thing, but staring at Tenten's bare breasts?

She draws a deep breath, and looks him in the eye. "We need to get the basics straight as soon as possible. There isn't time."

His mouth goes dry when her bandages fall away, pooling around her feet, and his gaze drops to her chest, so similar to Nejiko's, though her crests are duskier, and pebbling the longer he looks at them.

"Well, don't just stare," she mumbles, grabbing his hand and curving his fingers around her flesh. Tenten is warm and soft, and his fingers press lightly into her skin, drawing a gasp from her lips. Blood rushes to the south of his torso.

"I didn't mean to-" he begins, immediately pulling his hand away, but Tenten holds it firmly to herself, the reddish tinge on her cheeks intensifying. Neji wavers. He's losing his grip on the transformation, touching her like this.

"I'm only letting you do this once," she informs him, not meeting his gaze. "Memorize the sensation and redo your henge."

There's the texture of her flesh, and then there's the heat building in his abdomen, that nags at his concentration. Neji trails his fingers over the hard peak of her breast, and her smooth skin (Tenten's heart is beating fast beneath his fingertips), and reluctantly pulls his hand away, when his control on the henge slips. "I'll revert back to my original form first," he warns, voice higher-pitched and a little more breathy than Nejiko's was originally.

"Okay." She nods, grabs her bandages, and turns quickly away, redoing her chest bindings once more, just as Neji changes back to himself with a quiet pop, grimacing at his very male, and very physical, display of arousal. Tenten's dress has all but stretched around his original body, tenting embarrassingly at his groin. The bra strains against his chest for a constricting moment, and the clasp breaks with a snap, allowing him space to breathe again.

"I need to use the bathroom," Neji grits, in his low baritone once more, turning away so she wouldn't see his loss of control. Tenten nods, and he flees, locking the door behind himself. Now really isn't the time for an erection, damn it! He still remembers the smoothness of her skin, and her warmth-

Neji thumps his head hard against the door. They're on a mission - the very worst he's ever known - and he's losing control over his body and humiliating himself in all the worst possible ways. And Tenten is his best friend of eight years and all he can think about is the way she felt against him.

It takes Neji several minutes to calm himself, before he casts the henge again, and checks that Nejiko's breasts are just as soft as Tenten's.

"I need a solution for the bra," he informs her once he steps out of the bathroom, calm and in control all over again. "It doesn't fit when I'm not Nejiko."

Neji feels a little strange saying that, but there are worse things that could happen (such as Tenten finding out just how much she affects him), so he cuts the complaints, and waits for her response.

"I'll alter it tonight," Tenten muses, examining the broken clasp. "We'll try it again tomorrow."

"Does that mean our preparations continue tomorrow?" he questions mildly, raising a brow at her. What wouldn't he give for this mission to be over and done with.

It is, of course, too much to hope for. Tenten grins and shakes her head, looking at Nejiko's feet next. "You're staying, Nejiko. We need to work on your balance next."

He watches on in muted dread when she pulls a pair of low, strapped heels out. How do women walk in those?

"You don't expect me to use those," he blurts.

"In fact, I do," Tenten smiles, and shoves the sandals into his hands. "That's already the lowest pair of heels I own."

Neji grimaces. There is no getting around it, however, so he fits his feet awkwardly into the shoes.

He wobbles and stumbles on his first attempt, flailing gracelessly across Tenten's living room floor. On his fourth attempt, Neji manages to get across the living room, gingerly, and he is walking confidently (fifteenth attempt) and with a slight sway to his hips (thirty-first attempt) soon enough, much to Tenten's approval.

"Now, with some attitude," she orders, and Neji lifts his chin, pushes his shoulders back.

He sashays across her living room without so much as a wobble, even turning around to pose, lowering his lashes like he's seen women do. Tenten giggles and gives a hearty applause.

And she swaps his sandals for a pair of stilettos.

Neji pulls them on gamely, wobbles once, and struts through Tenten's living room, kitchen, and bedroom without another awkward twist of his ankles. (It's like walking on water, he's come to realize - every step requires precise muscle control and balance to compensate for unexpected shifts in his center of gravity.)

"You make a much better woman than I do," Tenten comments, with both resentment and awe.

He narrows his eyes at her. "You can keep the title. I much prefer being male."

She grins at him, all cheer and goodwill, and Neji thinks that this really isn't so bad after all, with Tenten by his side, resolutely supporting him throughout.

"So all that's left are your mannerisms," she concludes, looking at the wall clock. "It's getting late, Neji, why don't you go home and rest - we'll do a recap and some practice tomorrow."

He nods, removing the stilettos and rubbing his sore feet, especially where the leather has been rubbing his heels raw. With a sigh, Neji releases the transformation technique, sagging into his seat at the familiar sensations of his own limbs. Tenten yawns and rubs her eyes, grinning tiredly at him.

"You made great progress today, Nejiko." Tenten winks, nudging him with her shoulder. "Just you wait, we'll turn you into a real sexy babe."

"Only for this mission," he allows, frowning at her.

"I think I kind of like you as a girl," she grins, a light tint of pink fanning over her cheeks.

Neji stares. "Are- are you interested in women?"

She blushes for real this time. "I, um, I prefer men," Tenten mumbles, looking away. "I mean, it doesn't matter if they are feminine, though."

He blinks slowly at her, trying to process her words. "You're saying that you have a crush on Nejiko?"

Where that thought came from, Neji doesn't want to know - all he's aware of is his fatigue, and a bone-deep desire to collapse into his bed.

Tenten's entire face is red, now. He frowns again. It's a strange feeling knowing that one's teammate is infatuated with a gender-bent construct of oneself. Neji doesn't know what to think of it, so he shelves the thought aside for another day, and gets to his feet.

"I'll see you tomorrow," he begins, after he's pulled his clothes back on and returned the dress to Tenten. He is, however, bringing the pair of stilettos back with him to practice with.

"Um, yeah, I'll see you tomorrow, eight o'clock sharp." She gives him a weak grin, her cheeks returning to their normal tan shade. "Think about behaviors tonight - stuff like what Ino might say, or what Hinata might say, perhaps. You'll come up with something you're comfortable with as we practice with others."

Neji pauses at the door in alarm. "We're practicing with people tomorrow?"

"Yeah," Tenten nods. "That gives you the best opportunities, doesn't it?"

He winces, and pulls the door open. "We'll see. Good night, Tenten."

"'Night, Neji. Sweet dreams," she calls, and waves as he shuts the door behind himself.

He begins the trudge home with sore feet, pinching the bridge of his nose. Tomorrow is going to be a long day.


A/N: I guess this is my first multi-chapter Narutoverse fic that isn't crack? ... Well Nejiko is kinda crack. ;) This is part 1 out of 3. ;) Inspired by a drabble Blanket Fictions wrote on Tumblr, in which Neji struts in heels like a pro. ;)

Fun fact: I wrote 251,000 words of NejiTen in 2014. ;) Have you read all my fics on FFN? That's a lot of words!

Drop a review, and swing by Complexities of Blackmail if you haven't already!