I'm the nice one?

Author's note: Some enhancements to Uncanny X-Men #015, Girls Night out. Just what happened before they broke for supper? Some minor filling in the blanks.

"Ladies, please I have this", prophetic words from Emma thought Illyana as she walked across Piccadilly with Kitty, Emma, and the girls. "If shopping is a super power then Galactus should be worried" Illyana chuckled to herself.

It had started out with a few quick phone calls from Emma to points unknown, the calls had all been brief and variations of "Its EF, I'll be in London for the next few hours, I'll be bringing two adult women and 5 teenage girls".

"Can we go to Harrods?" pleaded Phoebe, hands clenched in front of her, almost jumping up and down with anticipation.

"Darlings, we might as well go to Wal-Mart" sniffed Emma. "No, this is not a trip for the masses and the wantabees, today is about refinement, perfection, and exclusivity; Irma stop rubbing your face with the money, its unseemly".

Then the White Queen (for the thought of shopping had created an imperial transformation in how everybody viewed Emma) had Illyana port them to Fortnum & Mason's discrete VIP entrance (Illyana frequented F&M roughly once a week as F&M was one of the provisioning locations that Emma used to stock the new secret X-Base).

The door had opened promptly, as Emma led the group in, by a smartly dressed doorman who murmured as they entered "Welcome back Mum, the ladies await your pleasure". Standing before them were ten well dressed female sales clerks and one older female senior supervisor. "Mrs. F, always a delight, how may we serve"?

"We'll start with some outfits for the girls while we attend to the spa" said the White Queen, "My hair is a mess and my skin's a disaster".

Within instants the group found themselves walking down an elegant spa hallway while nibbling biscuits (cookies for you Americans). The Service (yes Service with a capital S) was perfection; it was almost as if the act of thinking of a request caused the article of desire to appear; tea, biscuits, Strawberry and Rose Preserves on toast (yummy), cheeses (OMG have you tried the Winterdale Shaw!) and other gastric delights (Chocolate!).

The Cuckoos experienced what waxing was like (Ow!) and ended up briefly in a giggle-fest amongst themselves about Illyana's Darkchilde persona (e.g. just how much wax would be needed by goat girl to get a Brazilian and just what would that feel like) until Illyana put a stop to it with her own invocation of Hogart's spell of minor disturbances from the scrolls of Vishanti.

While their hair and other parts of their bodies were being worked upon, a series of tasteful to extravagant outfits were presented to the group (all of which were later to be found to be a perfect fit). Kitty later recalled that each of the sales women exactly matched the body shape of one of the X women "No wonder the clothes fit so well, how was that even possible? What the heck; Frost can't have our sizes on speed dial" (In fact she did).

Upon completion of the spa ritual, the trying on of the selected garments commenced (to the delight of the girls, and the enjoyment of the women). All went well apart from a brief (its mine, no its mine, spat among the Cuckoos).

Afterwards the apparent mountain of bags and boxes were ported back to the X-Base while Emma led the group to other elite and discrete provisioner's of fine goods.

"And folks think I'm demonic" Illyana thought as she glanced at the price of a pair of custom men's shoes in a shoe makers shop window "$4200 bucks a pair, wow" (Author's note: Yes that was the real price when I walked past the store, the prices here are not really fictional).

A flood of money departed as Emma led the assault thought the various stores (clothing, accessories, shoes, electronic toys, jewelry, and makeup) like a pride of lionesses on a rampage across the savanna Lastly they ended up at a store simply marked "Unmentionables".

"It's just undergarments and nighties", Kitty stated with a slight frown, "What's wrong with Victoria's Secret"?

Well the group learned what Emma already knew. Illyana slightly adjusted her bra as the group sought out a dinning location for supper, "It's as if it's made from the softest and warmest kittens in the world, I'm never taking this off" she thought.

After shopping the group had a brief vote on what to eat for supper (starving!), Kitty was surprised that Emma was in favor of a burger.

"Isn't that a bit low brow for you" Kitty inquired, "I'd of thought Champagne and goose pate would be more your preference".

"Katherine" purred Emma, "It's not always about having the most expensive, it's about having the best of whatever it is you want. I know a place just around the corner that should suffice".

Illyana idly reflected upon the day's events while munching a fry, "I'm actually happy" she thought in some surprise. Illyana had not had much of a social life ever since her re-embodiment by Belasco, partially by choice; partial due to the lack of anybody actually wanting to have much involvement with her. Illyana had found her sessions with Dr. Strange becoming some of her favorite times; comfortable, secure, homey and safe; but this outing was fun. She had been quite surprised at the invite and the actual desire for her presence.

Kitty sighed with some exasperation from the other side of the table, "I can't believe we just spent that much money on clothing, I mean we must have blown $50,000 on shoes alone".

"It was fun, and I think it was actually more" Illyana answered reflecting back upon the shoe store display. "I guess the girls were feeling cooped up and Emma was in need of some form of release so a prolonged shopgasm appears to have been just the thing. I don't recall you protesting that much at Unmentionables" Illyana finished while waving a fry at Kitty.

"I feel so guilty now" Kitty slightly blushed "I mean I now find myself contemplating a life of crime if that will allow me to continue buying from that store, they feel so, well good. "The other stuffs nice, but these" Kitty wiggled slightly in her seat "These are something else".

"Did you see the washing instructions" Kitty asked. "It's like you need virgin Benedictine nuns to wash them in sanctified water from a pond that Joan of Arc bathed in".

"Don't worry, I know a cleaning spell that should suffice" Illyana answered while eating another fry.

"What's next, supper with the Queen?" Kitty asked sarcastically.

"Naa, next week, that's likely in part why Emma wanted to go shopping" Illyana replied while slurping on her coke.

"What, you're kidding right?" Kitty looked at Illyana with a questioning look".

"Nope, she asked me to port her over next week. Turns out that Emma and Queen Elizabeth are long time friends, back from Emma's Hellfire club days; apparently there's a small dinner party next week".

"Well where did she get the money for this" Kitty replied. "Yea she's loaded but a duffle bag of money in the closet"?

Illyana though back to the Atlantic City Casino training sessions for Benjamin and decide to change the subject. "I helped her retrieve some things; you know she's not going to let you forget this trip".

"Yea, but I was made to go so I'm ok with it; but a bit surprised she actually took all of us shopping" Kitty stated while taking another bit of her burger.

"Partial dominance ritual" explained Illyana, "Asserting to the other woman in the tribe who is the alpha female; plus she always enjoys showing off. Emma has been denied her usual outlets so this is just scratching a different set of itches", Illyana gestured to the right with her head, pointing to Mrs. Frost who was sitting at the burger bar aggressively devouring a triple patty bacon blue cheese burger (somebody was going to be pulling extra gym time tomorrow).

"Seeing how successful this trip has gone I think some more social outings are in order" Illyana mildly stated, "Good team building, maybe we should make it a weekly event, say go clubbing next or attend a concert of one of the bands the girls like".

Kitty gave Illyana a dark look, "Yana if you think I'm going to ..."

Meanwhile, by the burger bar Sophie and Jean were getting into a spat...