So, I was going through all of my documents, you know, bit of spring cleaning, and I found this thing that I wrote at some point and realized that I had been going to make a sequel to Transformations, but I hadn't had any way to post it, so... Here you go! The long lost sequel! One chapter per rule! Enjoy!

1) Do not mess with the Human's coffee machine. Even if coffee is unhealthy, Humans will hunt you down if they do not have coffee in the morning and YOU are to blame.

Ratchet glared at the Human machine, his processor formulating a plan to dispose of it. Why the Humans on base insisted on drinking it was beyond him. He was on the verge of a glitch just thinking about all the bad effects the bitter liquid could have on the Humans. Yes, it was definitely time to get rid of that Primus forsaken coffee machine death trap! They would thank him in the long run.

The next day, Lennox entered the rec room, looking to get himself a cup of coffee. He stared in confusion at the place where the coffee machine used to sit. A note was in its place that read: Coffee is unhealthy for you. Try water. Sincerely, Autobot Commanding Medical Officer, Ratchet.

Lennox snarled at the note and tore it up in his hands angrily. "RATCHET! I'M GOING TO DISASSEMBLE YOU!" Lennox shouted as he stormed out to a supply closet and filled a giant bucket of water. He would show him water. Once he had that, he made his way to the med bay. He got a lot of odd looks from the mechs in the halls, but the other, equally angered soldiers cheered him on. Storming into the bay, he looked around to ensure that the medic was in fact there. He climbed up one of the recharge berths in the bay and shouted to Ratchet, who was indeed there, working on… something… Lennox normally would have politely asked what the normally grouchy medic was working on, fearing his wrath, but at the moment, he just couldn't bring up a very good reason to be interested. In fact, in his caffeine deprived state of mind, the only thing the medic should be working on was returning the precious machine to its proper place.

Ratchet turned to him, curious. Before he could say anything, however, Lennox dumped the water on Ratchet, soaking the bot's chassis. It wasn't really effective and very childish, but the point was made. "Give us back our coffee machine or we take away the high grade," Lennox snapped, "and yes, we DO know where you stash it." He then climbed down and stormed out of the room, ignoring Ratchet's swearing.

Ratchet glared after him, then set to work. Oh, he would give them their coffee machine. Then, he would cure them all of their absurdly high caffeine addictions. If done right, they would never notice the difference…

Lennox glared suspiciously at the coffee machine that was sitting in front of him. Mocking him. He KNEW that the Hatchet had done something to it… But what that was…

"Hey, man, ya gonna stand there or are ya gonna get some coffee?" Epps asked, clapping a beefy hand on the Major's shoulder and breaking him from his thoughts.

"What?" Lennox asked his best friend.

"I asked if ya were gonna get some coffee or just stare at it," Epps repeated patiently.

"No, go ahead," Lennox replied, nodding his head to the machine. If anyone could figure out that something was wrong with the coffee, it would be Epps. Epps ALWAYS knew when someone messed with the coffee.

Epps drew a cup from the machine and put it to his lips, not caring how the coffee was hot nor black, simply needing the caffeine. Had it been his second cup, he would have added something to it to battle the bitterness of the heavenly liquid.

Almost as soon as he took a sip, though, he sputtered and spit it out into the conveniently placed sink, as well as dumping the contents of his mug down the drug. "What the HELL is that?" he demanded to Lennox, who grabbed a mug for himself and tried the coffee as well.

A similar reaction happened to him, an almost instantaneous gag reflex to the drink. It didn't taste any different, not to Lennox, not to Epps, and it shouldn't, the coffee had come from an unopened can of Folgers. There was nothing wrong with the filter. Those were brand new, too. So it had to be the machine. Ratchet had done something to the machine that made it so when Humans, or, at least Lennox and Epps, gagged and spit it out the moment it touched their taste buds.

"Hey! Hey, Donnely! Come over here and try this coffee!" Lennox ordered.

"What'd you do to it?" he retorted as he walked over to them.

"Nothing!" Lennox replied, glaring at the coffee machine. "That's why we're so confused!"

Donnely got his own cup of coffee, the same reaction happening to him. "What…?" he asked, so clearly confused.

"Come on, Epps," Lennox growled to his best friend, storming out of the room and knowing Epps was following him.

"Whata we doing?" Epps asked, catching up with the Major easily.

"Stealing Ratchet's high grade," Lennox replied, glaring determinedly ahead of him.

"Wait, the Hatchet did this?" Epps demanded angrily.

"Yes, and we're gonna get him back."

Ratchet smugly whistled in his med bay, safe in the knowledge that he had carried out his plan to stop this nonsense need for coffee and that he had put enough security around his high grade that the Humans could never hope to get it. He was proved to be very wrong, however, when alarms started blaring around him, signifying that something had blown up and there was need for medical assistance. What had the Humans managed to destroy this time?

He raced to the location of the blast, horrified and recognizing exactly what building it had happened at. They couldn't have gotten to his high grade… could they? He sped just a little faster than he should have at that thought.

Lennox pulled Epps from the rubble of the grenade that they had launched into Ratchet's security measures, neither of them harmed but knowing that Ratchet and the other bots would be there soon, alerted to the blast. "Come on, man, let's get it and get out," Epps urged, thinking the same thing.

They got the energon out, how, they would never tell, and stored it in a safe place, leaving a note in place of it, just to add insult to injury.

"Now… we wait until we get our ability to drink our coffee again," Lennox sighed, sitting in a chair, sipping on water.

Ratchet reached the smoking hole in the wall the same time as Ironhide and Optimus did, all staring in horror.

"They stole our high grade!" Ironhide pointed out the obvious.

"They left a note," Optimus pointed out calmly. Ratchet picked it up, reading it silently: Ratchet, I know I said that if you returned our coffee, I wouldn't steal the high grade, but I, as well as the other Humans agree that by making us inable to drink it counts as not returning it to us. Therefore, when we are able to drink coffee again, you will get your precious high grade back. Sincerely, a very ticked off and caffiene deprived Major William Lennox.

"Ratchet, fix their slagging coffee or I swear, I will never forgive you," Ironhide growled.

Ratchet hunted down the two humans, dragging the terriefied fleshlings back to his med bay to, hopefully, have a rational conversation and, again, hopefully, knock some sense into them.

"Give it back," he ordered.

"Undo whatever it is that you did to the coffee machine," Lennox replied.

"I did nothing to the COFFEE MACHINE," Ratchet growled slyly.

"Then what did you do?" Epps demanded.

"You have been drinking water, correct?" Ratchet asked, seemingly ignoring the question.

"Yes, we've been drinking water," Lennox snapped, confused.

"Then I see no need to do anything to fix your coffee problem. Coffee is unhealthy and you Humans are all addicted to it," Ratchet rumbled with a tone that should have left no room for argument.

"Then we have no need to return your high grade," Lennox reminded coolly. "What did you do to the water?"

Ratchet glared incredulously at the stubborn human. "I administered a harmless chemical that, when it comes into contact with coffee, sends an impulse to your brain that sets off your involuntary gag reflex, essentially making the coffee undrinkable," he replied.

"You… Ratchet, you can't just go and put a chemical in the water that makes Humans unable to drink something, and especially not because you don't want us drinking coffee!" Lennox protested sternly. "Whatever happened to free will is the right of all sentient beings? That includes what we DRINK and EAT."

Ratchet stared at the Human, surprised that he could come up with such an infallible argument against him. "Very well. I will remove the chemical and YOU will return the high grade to its proper place," he finally agreed.

The next day, the high grade was returned, and Ratchet promised that he had removed the chemical. Of course, he 'forgot' to tell them that it would take some time for the chemical to not only wash out of the plumbing, but out of their bodies as well because they continued to drink the water. It was only after he was confronted that he told them, and they were livid.

Callen came down with Prowl to visit for a day a week from the incident, Prowl had to deal with something, and went to make himself a cup of tea, only to be grabbed and pulled away, a boughten cup of coffee shoved into his hand by Lennox.

"What?" Callen asked.

"Ratchet put a chemical in the water to stop people from drinking coffee. It took three days to get out of OUR systems, and the tap water still has it in it, but its getting out… eventually. So, until it does get out, we're stuck with this," Lennox explained.

Callen stared at him for a moment, trying to figure out if he was joking or not before handing the coffee back to him. "I was going to have tea, anyway."

"Tea? You drink tea? Who drinks tea?"

"I drink tea," Callen replied, chuckling as he suffered no ill effects from his drink. Lennox glared at him.

"Don't you have a check up with Ratchet to get to?" he snapped.

"Yup! Enjoy your store bought coffee," Callen replied pleasantly as he walked right by the Major and to the med bay, where a very smug looking Ratchet was arranging his tools.

"Hello, Callen," he greeted, turning to the spy and lifting him to the table that the medic used to examine Humans. He glared at the familiar mug in the spy's hand. "Please tell me that isn't coffee," he growled.

"No, it's tea," Callen assured.

"Why can't the rest of the Humans on base drink tea instead of coffee?"

"Because coffee is from heaven and tea is what you drink when you have a boss that will periodically change the coffee from decaf to regular to see the reactions of people," Callen replied, sitting calmly through his examination, idly wondering if he should have told the medic that…