A/N: I swore I'd never do a multi-chapter fic but I honestly had too many scenarios to pass up. Based on an "our asshole mutual friends set us up on a blind date and we're getting back at them" AU idea from tumblr user tickatocka.

Also, sorry about the uninventive title. Bound to change.

This was just incredible.

"I'm really sorry," Honey Lemon cried, "but something really important came up and I can't make it tonight."

"You made me buy a new dress just for this," GoGo snapped into the phone. And spend half an hour applying make-up, and flatten her hair out.

"Okay, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, but I promise someone else will be there!"

"'Someone else'? Wait-who else is flaking out?"

"Gotta go! Text me when he gets there!"

"'He'?! Honey Lemon-"

The buzz blared at the other end before she could get the rest of her sentence out. She wanted to throw her phone at the wall and screech, if only she weren't at a restaurant and societal convention ruled that unacceptable. Of course Honey Lemon would do this. She should have seen this coming. Fred had never celebrated a "half-birthday" before.

She'd been set up on a blind date.

Ding! GoGo's phone screen lit up with a text from her soon-to-be-ex-friend: "The reservation's under 'Tadashi Hamada'," followed by a little heart emoji. She was going to punch the screen. She thought about sending an angry reply and leaving the restaurant, but decided on the silent treatment instead. Besides, it wasn't fair to this... Tadashi Hamada. What if he waited and only for her to never show up? He at least deserved an explanation.

Reluctantly, GoGo lined up at the front desk behind some guy in a dress shirt and slacks.

"Yes, a table under 'Tadashi Hamada,' please?" he was saying.

Her eyes widened.

"Yes, Tadashi Hamada, table for two?" the server replied.

"Ye-wait, two?"

Oh no.

GoGo lightly tapped him on the shoulder, to which he turned his head and holy crap, Honey Lemon actually didn't screw this one up. She immediately chased the thought away, flushing, and whispered, "I'll explain."

"Perfect!" the server chirped. "Right this way."

GoGo shot this confused Tadashi Hamada an apologetic glance as the young woman sat them down at a small table in the corner by the window.

"My name's Chun, and I'll be your server this evening," the woman greeted. "Can I get you started with something to drink?"

"Just water," GoGo replied at the same time Tadashi responded, "Water, please."

"All right, two waters coming up."

GoGo turned her gaze back to Tadashi, who was awkwardly staring at the menu. Had to admit he was pretty attractive. Dark hair, tall, lean...

"So, um," he said, glancing back at her, "could you explain to me what's going on?"

"Well, first of all, what did you think was gonna happen?" she asked.

"Wasabi-my friend-told me we were celebrating a friend's... 'half-birthday,' or something."

"Wait-is this friend named Fred?"

"Yeah! You know him, too?"

"You wouldn't also happen to know a Honey Lemon, would you?"

"You... know her, too...?"

"She's the one that told me about a 'half-birthday celebration.'" She pulled out her phone and dangled it between her fingers.

A frown unfurled on Tadashi's face as he came to the same conclusion. "No."

"Yes."

He ran his fingers through his hair in frustration. "Unbelievable! Dangit, I'm so stupid-nobody celebrates a 'half-birthday'!"

"You're telling me."

"Look, I'm really sorry about this, um..."

"GoGo," she prompted.

"GoGo," he repeated. The corner of his lips turned up. "I'm Tadashi. But, uh, you probably already knew that."

"Kinda."

"I'll pay for your meal tonight-"

"No need."

"Right, um..."

Awkwardly, she went back to studying the menu. On the one hand, he seemed like a genuinely nice guy and it'd be rude to brush him off the entire time. On the other, she didn't want to prove Honey Lemon right by saying she had a nice night.

"Well, while we're here," he said, clearing his throat, "might as well get something to eat, huh?"

"Sure."

Neither of them said much except what they were ordering when the waitress stopped by. She'd gotten a steak, he got pasta.

"So, uh, GoGo. What do you like to do for fun?" Tadashi asked as Chun briskly walked off.

GoGo shrugged, only imagining how hilarious it would be if this went disastrously.

Wait a minute.

"Hey," she said.

"Hm?"

"So this Wasabi guy set you up, right?"

"Well, his name's not really Wasabi; he just got that name because he spilled some on his shirt. His real name's-"

"No worries, I know him, too. What'd he set you up for?"

He stroked his chin in thought. "He's kinda been on my case about getting a life outside school and my brother. And revenge for the whole wasabi thing, I guess."

"So wouldn't it be really hilarious if this whole thing blew up in his face?"

To her delight, a mischievous smile played on Tadashi's lips. "What are you suggesting?"

"I doubt you want Wasabi to win this little game, and I sure as hell don't want to give Honey Lemon any kind of satisfaction."

"So... you want to tell them the date went horribly."

"Worse. We have to make them regret it and never mess with us again." She smirked. "Why don't we start dating-"

"Whoa, wait, what?"

"-and when they think they've done really well, we break up? Horrendously."

"Ohh. And for even better effect, we can connect it back to this whole 'blind date' deal-something about not even having to deal with each other if not for that?"

"Perfect."

Nobody would have to struggle with small talk that night-they'd have plenty of time to get to know each other.

...

Of course their friends were ecstatic-and laughably smug-that their date had gone just fantastic and they'd be seeing each other again.

"I told you!" Honey Lemon practically squealed.

"Yeah, you sure did," GoGo mumbled, popping a bubble. "I'm, uh, stopping by his family's café today."

"Oh, that is just adorable! Look at how big you're smiling!"

She thought about how lucky she was that Honey couldn't differentiate between smirks and smiles at the moment.

...

"Wasabi and Fred totally bought it," Tadashi said, stirring his latte. "They thought I couldn't stop smiling when really I was just trying not to laugh."

"Same thing happened with Honey." GoGo sipped her coffee.

"So let's say we make it 'official' tomorrow, and keep it up for..."

"Needs to be long enough that it's really devastating when we 'break up,' but not super long. I'd say a year is pushing it."

"Half of that? Six?"

"Five. Give it five."

He frowned. "Do you really think we can keep it up for that long?"

"We're in the same friend group, and it's not like we have to see each other outside of group hangouts. And if we need an excuse to get out of something, we can just be like, 'Oh, I have a date with so-and-so.'"

"Nice, nice. But wait, what if you find someone you're interested in? I wouldn't want to get in the way of that."

She waved her hand in dismissal. "I'm not interested in anyone at school, and I don't have that kind of time, anyway. You?"

He shrugged. "I got my hands full with my project and watching my brother."

She nodded. "Where is this brother of yours, anyway?"

He chuckled. "Building something, probably. He's really into bot-building."

"What was his name, again?"

"Hiro."

"Hiro. Right."

"So, GoGo," he said, leaning in, "will you be my girlfriend?"

At the very least he made her snort.