Rated High T for Typical Tiramisuspice Trash. AU FUTURE FIC WHOOP WHOOP

A little one-shot I wanted to give as a gift to 'Joganlover' the anon who reviewed Oopsidaisy requesting an update before Christmas. I'm really sorry I didn't see the review in time :( And I feel bad about making everyone wait so long especially when you were kind enough to review my story. So I wrote this little one shot as an apology.

This isn't related to Oopsidaisy at all, and they are late 20-something like adults in this fic.

I hope you can accept my apology. Know that I am working my butt off to write Oopsidaisy chapters! :D

A/N: This is an experiment in introspective writing. Descriptive introspective writing. The idea came from my muse, Gabby!

Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I do not own IDDI and am only using the characters for entertainment.

Melissa. Melissa Manning. Muffin Making Melissa.

A while back it was Betty Green. Big Breasted Betty.

And before that Patricia Hoffman. Perfectly Proportioned Patricia.

And they're all beautiful, and they're all gorgeous and have the same interests as Logan. But this is the first time that he's kept someone for so long.

And when Jasmine meets Melissa, she can't help but do a double take because A) she's classically beautiful with her striking baby blues and shining blonde hair. B) She's a huge fan of Logan's favorite sport's team and therefore, automatically a great companion. And C) she can bake muffins. Very well. And the fastest way to Logan's heart is through his stomach.

Jasmine wants to dislike her. The girl who Logan seems to be smitten with recently.

But she just can't.

Because she's actually nice, if not a little uptight. Big Boobed Betty was a bitch, and Patricia was way too vain about her figure to ever be likeable. It was easy to dislike them. She had an excuse.

But not this time.

This woman has real potential for longevity and Jasmine can't help but feel guilty every time she secretly glares at the woman who has captured Logan's attention. It's not her fault she's everything Logan has been dreaming or hoping for.

Lindy had introduced them. She'd wanted someone who could help Logan mature a bit. And she was certain Logan could help her work friend relax a little. It was a match-up made in heaven. And one that Jasmine still menaces Lindy over.

Everyone states that she's good for him. All their friends and associates all say that Melissa is a blessing in disguise. Many think they'll be married by next spring. When the conversation turns to marriage, Jasmine leaves. Because she cannot handle that sort of talk.

And yes, Jasmine is aware that none of this would have happened if she had just gotten the courage to confess to Logan all those years back, but she doesn't want to think about that. And she doesn't want to think about how each of her relationships continue to deteriorate because of one idiot best friend who just had to ensnare her heart in a vice grip and refuses to let go. They all devolve in much the same way. She never feels anything more than initial affection while her partner falls deeper much faster. When her intimacy issues start coming to light, they leave dejected and confused because they always had felt more for her than she was willing to give. She feels guilt in leading them on and dangling them on a string as a back up forever, but she needs something to take her mind off of Logan's successful love life.

And so she ended her most recent relationship with sweet, sweet Raphael. A man who is perfect and sweet and caring and just the right amount of goofy in every way. His only offense: loving her too hard and too fast. He's understanding and gathers his belongings and leaves her apartment, and Jasmine realizes she can't go on this way. Pining after the man she's had a crush on for almost ten years now, but never told.

She can't sit there and watch during group lunches as they whisper into each other's ears and laugh at stupid inside jokes and as Melissa rubs his arm and how he gives her his coat when she shivers. She can't sit there and watch as he gives her rides home (and she forcefully stops her trains of thought after that because the thought of him bedding another woman literally breaks her heart into two).

And Jasmine feels like shit for not being happy for him. Logan has found a great woman, and Jasmine knows her attitude is unacceptable. But she wants him to be alone and still looking for the one. She wants him to be single and available for her whenever she so chooses to get her head out of her ass and finally go to him. She wants him to look at her and only her.

And Jasmine knows how ridiculous that sounds, even to her.

A good friend would be pleased for his good fortune.

Clearly, she's not a good friend.

And she wonders if she even deserves to be called a friend anymore.

But now, with this beautiful, perfect, Muffin Making Melissa with him, she can't make anymore excuses. She can't lie to herself anymore. And she can't hide the fact that she is just scared to confess. Scared that if she gets Logan, what if she can't make him happy? What if she ruins their friendship and they will never be the same? She's missed chance after chance because of her stupid fears and she can't help but feel like this is the end of the rope and she'll get no more chances because Melissa might be endgame. Melissa Watson. It sounds great even to her ears.

And it hurts so bad. It hurts to see him smiling so happily with this woman who intruded upon their lives.

Jasmine had always thought she could have all the time in the world, but with one fell swoop, Melissa has flipped Jasmine's life table over and scattered everything into a void.

She's annoyed with this pining over her best friend. She knows she's being irrational and inconsistent and selfish and maybe a bit psycho with this obsession with Logan and Melissa's relationship, but she can't help it. Logan was and always will be her greatest love.

But above all, she feels pathetic.

Especially standing in front of Logan's apartment door, phone in hand, staring a hole at the front as if the door will melt from her burning gaze.

She mulls over what she's doing, knowing that her behaviour is selfish, unfair to Melissa and Logan, and possibly cruel.

But she's pissed off too. It's not fair to her too!

It's not fair that she'd been holding feelings for Logan, and he never once noticed her feelings. It's not fair that he meets a perfect woman while Jasmine's whole love life falls apart because she can't bear to be with someone who is not him. It's not fair that she has to hold on to these never-ending feelings that have singlehandedly been the cause of every one of her ruined relationships.

And it's especially not fair that she can't move on because she hasn't told Logan about her feelings.

And she wants to move on. She really does.

It's time for her to move on.

But that's not going to happen unless she tells him now.

So she takes a deep breath and texts him that she's outside, hoping so badly that she isn't about to ruin a night in with Melissa.

But she's not going to regret this. And whatever happens, she won't take anything back.

It's been ten years.

Enough is enough.

"Jaz? What are you doing out here?"

He's staring at her in confusion like she's got a few screws loose (which she might. Possibly.) and Jasmine realizes she probably does look a little worse for wear since she all but sprinted here in her old, deteriorating pajamas and house slippers. Like a total idiot. The door closes behind him, and he stuffs his hands in his hooded jacket's pockets. His hair is tousled and there's a bit of light stubble aligning his jaw, and Jasmine swallows thickly and curses him to the moon and back in her mind for looking this good right now of all times.

"Sorry if I'm interrupting something important." she breathes out, voice sounding uncharacteristically higher than usual.

"It's not a problem." he shrugs with one shoulder, "We were just watching recaps of the game."

We. Of course.

And Jasmine feels a cold chill seep over her body because he is in his apartment with Melissa now.

"I... I-I... umm..."

And she gapes like a fish because she's losing her nerve now and she can feel the sweat dripping down her back because her mind is jumping to conclusions about what he and Melissa could possibly be doing. What they could possibly have done. What they could possibly be on the verge of doing. And it throws her off balance and her eyes widen as those unwanted images haunt her mind in quick succession.

She's not sure what she could possibly look like, but if Logan's increasingly concerned - and disgustingly handsome - face is any consolation, she must be looking worse by the second.

"Jasmine, are you okay?"

He reaches out to her, and she jerks away before any contact is made, knowing that the only thing she needs right now is his touch. She ignores his slightly miffed look and tries to settle her crazed vision.

Because she craves it.

She wants it so bad she would be willing to throw away her integrity for it.

And that's more than pathetic, and she won't be able to move on if she does. She has her pride too, despite being head over heels in-

And it hits her so strongly that she literally recoils and falls back against the wall in shock, eyes wide and blinking rapidly.

She loves him.

She loves Logan. She's in love with Logan.

How long has she been gone? How long has she been in love with him? It suddenly crashes into her full force. The fluttering stomach. The elation she feels at being near him. The debilitating happiness she has when they spend time together. This was more than just a crush...

No. She was in love with him.

Jasmine doesn't realize just how off balance she is until Logan races over to her and catches her by the shoulders before she can tumble over and crash to the ground.

"What the hell, Jaz!"

She can feel his steady warmth and firm grip through the thin layer of her top as he steadies her. Though all she feels are rising goosebumps from where his hands make contact with her body. But she can only stare up into his worried blue gaze and take hollow breaths to ease the tight feeling in her chest. To settle the fluttering of her heart in her chest.

The words spill from her lips before she even realizes they have left. "Logan I love you." It rushes out all at once, breathlessly, and she's not even sure Logan even heard her in the first place until he straightens and stares down at her with surprise etched in his entire countenance.

"What?"

He's still holding onto her carefully, and she finally gains control of her limbs and straightens as well, meeting his gaze, ready to repeat what she said. His slightly guarded expression tells her he understood every word she said, and she bites her lip in pause, sure that she screwed up.

"You love me?"

Jasmine takes a deep shaky breath, sure she's ruined everything because she's an idiot who can't control her emotions or mouth or hormones for that matter. "I- I love you. Yes."

"You... love me..."

The baffled and disbelieving expression in his eyes is enough to make Jasmine want to throw herself out of a window, and she curses her stupidity and her timing and everything in the world that has made this encounter go so horribly friggin' wrong when all she wanted to do was untether herself from Logan so she could finally enjoy her own damn relationships!

To her horror, she opens her mouth and starts babbling frantically like an idiot.

"I know that your girlfriend is Melissa. And I know she's perfect for you and gorgeous. And that you two make each other better, and she can totally cook like nobody's business-"

"Jaz-"

"And that she's not a weirdo like me and you guys will probably get married and have lots of cute blonde angels and I could never truly be perfect for you-"

"Jasmine-"

"But I just had to tell you because I couldn't move on and I didn't want to pine over you like an idiot for the rest of my-"

"Jasmine!" Logan finally yells. And she snaps her mouth shut abruptly, suddenly realizing he is much closer to her than before and her eyes widen as she meets his slightly crazed ones and sees their proximity. "What the hell are you talking about?" He sounds so utterly confused and Jasmine fights the urge to deeply inhale his perfect scent.

"You and Melissa..." she says quietly, "Y-You're together."

"No. We're not."

She blinks in shock and fights for oxygen, her heart beating wildly with reckless abandon in her chest as she tries - and fails - not to blush at the expression in his eyes.

"You're not together?"

"Yeah." He supplies sincerely, his honesty revealed entirely in his gaze, and Jasmine swears if he keeps looking at her that way, he'll wreck her and she'll never be able to back away from this with her mind intact.

"B-but she's in your apartment?" she gawks awkwardly, feeling entirely too stupid for saying something like that.

"We're hanging out. As friends. She needed advice on how to surprise her boyfriend."

Jasmine blinks, eyes wide and confused, "Her boyfriend?"

"Yeah."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

He's watching her with an expression of amusement and affection, and Jasmine can't help but feel apprehensive because she'd been so entirely wrong about everything. All this time, she'd just assumed he and she were together when she'd clearly missed the mark. And suddenly she's very intimidated by the situation because it's in her face, and she realizes that Logan has been single this entire time, and she just all but upended their friendship and this can either end so badly or so well. And all she can do is breathe heavily and stare up into that face that she has grown to love so deeply.

"Well." He whispers after a minute. "Apparently you love me?"

Jasmine flushes and looks away from his gaze, heart beating abnormally fast as he slides his hands down to hers and holds them, rubbing his thumbs across her knuckles, "Logan..."

"We're just friends you know? She wanted me as a rebound." He doesn't say her name, but Jasmine still stiffens a bit at the reveal, knowing exactly who he's referring to, "Tried to go on a couple dates. But it didn't work out. We just didn't fit that way. I helped her get back with her boyfriend. So she helps me get my life together or else I'll never be able to be man enough for the woman I love." Something in his expression makes Jasmine's stomach clench in elation, and she hopes there is a defibrillator somewhere around her because her heart feels like it is about to stop any second now.

"...The woman you love?"

"She's kind hearted. She understands me. She puts up with my crazy ideas." The tenderness in his expression deepens as he leans closer, his breath fanning across her face. "According to my sister, she's had a crush on me since high school. I didn't believe her. I was too stupid to notice of course..."

"You're not stupid." she says breathlessly, leaning closer, her eyes half closed.

"Yeah. I am. A real idiot not to notice what had been in front of me the whole time. When I finally did, I thought I was too late. You see, this woman is pretty popular with guys. She's always dating someone or another." he chuckles softly, "You know what also makes me stupid? Falling in love with my best friend."

Jasmine isn't sure who reacts first, but all of a sudden, he's gripping her hips and yanking her closer and she's tugging on the collar of his hoodie and what little space remains between them rapidly closes until their mouths are fused together. His tongue sweeps across her bottom lip before joining with hers in a sensual dance and she can't help but moan into his mouth at the contact as a deep groan rumbles through his throat and she can't believe she's missed out on this for so long because he is an amazing kisser.

She clutches him tightly, pulling him closer and closer because she can't get enough of his kisses and he tastes like heaven, and caramel corn and Coke and she feels like she's on the verge of collapsing because her head is getting cloudy and she's starting to feel dizzy.

He pulls away, and she clings to him, breathing harshly and trying to figure out if this really happened or if she's dreaming because when she came here earlier she could never in a million years have ever expected this to happen.

"Am I dreaming...?"

And he tightens his grip on her waist while she encircles her arms around his neck, leaning into him for support because she's pretty sure if he lets her go, she'll crumble. "I don't think so. This all feels very real to me."

Jasmine's heart feels like it's about to burst, and she kisses him lightly, knowing she gave her heart to the right person, "Thank you."

"Why?" he asks quietly, gazing down at her adoringly, a small smile lifting the corners of his mouth.

"For loving me back..." she says honestly, her emotions going haywire, "And for being you. I love you."

His gaze turns intense before he leans back down and takes her mouth in a heated, fiery kiss, backing her up, trapping her between him and the wall. He kisses her with demanding, almost brutal force, grabbing her ass and melding her harshly into his frame as if they weren't close enough. She hooks a leg around his waist to pull him closer, moaning as she feels him grow hard against her. She can't get enough of him. His scent. His touch. The passionate, sensual way with which the bulge in his pants presses against her. She feels like she's going to drown.

Just as soon as it begins, he is wrenching his head away from her and breathing hard to control himself. The look he gives her is so profoundly dirty, it sends a flare of heat straight to her core. She can't take her eyes off his damn kissable lips and just wants him to kiss her again, panting harshly to catch her breath after that lewd kiss he just gave her.

"I want to go..." he starts breathy, his voice gruff and husky and only serving to increase the stab of pleasure she feels between her legs. "...to your place. But you live far away, and I don't think I can make it without taking you in an alley or in my car-"

As tempting as that sounds, she knows it wouldn't be right.

Jasmine raises a brow, "You have a guest in your apartment."

"We wouldn't be gone long. Just enough to-"

"No."

Jasmine snorts and starts to dislodge herself from him, momentarily gaining back some control to resist Logan's overwhelming sexual presence.

"Let's go inside and hang out with Melissa."

"Hold on a moment." Logan stops her by gripping her hips, keeping her still against him. She flushes when she feels him against her again and fights to maintain her resolve because she's seriously reconsidering his offer, and she kind of wants him. Now. "Don't move. I need to get rid of this little problem first."

Jasmine swallows thickly, looking anywhere but his face. Or anywhere down. Focus, Jasmine. Focus.

"R-right..." she breathes slowly, trying not to fidget against him, "Umm... What helps you... you know..."

He gives her an agitated look of desire, and Jasmine curses her poor choice of wording, pushing against his shoulder and trying to fight the flush that is crawling up her neck and face.

"I meant, what are some things you think about that help to tamper down or get rid of your hard ons?"

"Thoughts of you..." he growls lowly, mouth pressed up sensually against her ear.

Oh boy... She needs to get away from him and fast or she knows she'll let him take her right in this hallway where anyone could walk out and find their compromising position. And she knows she wouldn't give a shit.

"You sure we can't just fix this really-"

"No. You can't just leave someone you invited to your apartment to screw someone. That's bad manners!"

"Urgh you sound like my mom..." his eyebrows lift, and he looks down, "Well, that worked pretty quick."

"Wow..." Jasmine rolls her eyes and pulls away from him, lamenting the lack of warmth already, but she grabs his hand and pulls him back to his apartment door. There will be plenty of time for that later. "Let's go you big dummy."

Jasmine admits that coming here that night, she thought could end in her heartbreak but she couldn't believe how well things had gone for her.

After ten years of being stupid, she finally got that happy ending with the man she'd always wanted.