Title : The Hearts Wants, What It Wants

Theme : horror/dark fantasy story

Pairing : Kaneki/Uta

Thanks for all the reviews and reading my story. Sorry for the late update but here it is finally.

Chapter 8 - Thoughts

Anteiku wasn't the same without Kaneki. Touka's mind always went the now white-haired Kaneki. Touka wished that she had said something that day that he left. Those words he said when he said he was leaving Anteiku still strike her hard. But that didn't mean she would be that hang up on him because of it. She had a life too and just because of Kaneki she wasn't waste it away. At first she was sad and didn't feel like anything but it all changed when the manager suggested her to study for University, the same University that Kaneki went to.

When she first visited the University because of Nishio. She wonder around alone since her soon to be senpai ran off to meet up with his girlfriend. Her thoughts went back to Kaneki thinking how he used to attend this University. That's when she saw a poster of the Kaneki he used to know. Black hair, innocent eyes, looking really kind. That's right to this people he had disappear, that's when she saw him, the best friend of Kaneki that she used to always see him with when they came to the café. Hide took the poster down, she looked and saw he had others in his bag. He must be worrying about Kaneki is what she thought.

Kaneki didn't go out much. He stay home hidden from the world. Sometimes Hinami would come over just to see him. She missed her older brother and would wish he would come back like the rest but it didn't seem like that was happening anytime soon.

Hinami would always tell Kaneki about her day with Touka and everybody. Kaneki would just smile and nod. He would listen but that was all, he didn't speak much like before. Hinami missed the old Kaneki but she couldn't say it. She didn't want him to be worried because of something he said.

"Are you hungry?" Kaneki asked. I can make you something to eat." Kaneki then recalled that ghouls others than half-ghoul like him can't eat normal food.

"Sorry I said something weird." Kaneki got up and made some coffee. That was the only thing ghouls could eat normal and that didn't have scent of blood.

"Onii-chan, I bought a new book when I went to the bookstore with Onee-chan."

"Is that so?" Kaneki smiled but Hinami knew that her brother was faking it. That smile wasn't like the one she had known to love anymore.

The sound of the front door opening was heard. Kaneki and Hinami knew that Uta was back from running his errands.

"Hinami-chan, you're still here." He said.

Hinami looked at her watch and saw that she had spent a lot of time with Kaneki without realizing it. It was starting to get late as well.

"I should hurry home or Onee-chan will get worried." She waved goodbye to Kaneki and Uta and walked out the door leaving the two alone.

"Are you okay?" Uta asked.

"Why wouldn't I be?" He smiled.

"When you say it like that I would worry." Uta patted Kaneki on the head. "Hinami been coming here a lot since she is worried about you and misses you."

"I know that."

"What are you thinking?" Even Uta didn't know everything that the boy was thinking. His mind was still thinking of things that he was unaware of.

Uta sat down and started making a mask. He still had work to do. Kaneki watched the older man do his work. Kaneki would always watch Uta when there was nothing else to do.

"Uta-san, I'm going out tomorrow." This surprised the man. Kaneki didn't go out much so hearing him announce that shocked him.

"Sure."

"Uta-san, I'm sorry that I'm being selfish like this. Even staying with you."

"It's not a bother."

"It would be bad for you to be alone when you're like this."

"I-I want to protect you and everybody who has taken good care of me. I also don't want Hide to know about this side of me and that's why I don't want to see him again."

"Kaneki-kun, I'm always here for you." Uta smiled and patted the boy's head softly.

Kaneki belonged to Uta that he was sure of. He would take care of Kaneki as long as he could while he was by his side. The change in the boy was different but it was also for the best, the boy was finally showing his true ghoul side that was hidden within.

"Uta-san, you're too kind to me."

"You're not even going to ask me where I'm going."

Kaneki got up from his seat and headed to the bedroom where the boy shared a room with the older man. He started to change his clothes and wear something different.

Kaneki didn't want to leave everybody but he had to. If he stayed with them he wasn't going get stronger and be able to protect them. Also he wouldn't find the answers that he was seeking for if he stayed with them.

"Kaneki-kun, are you going to be back late?" Uta poked his head in the room.

"I won't be late." He said.

Kaneki left the shop and Uta was alone. He continue to do his work but his thoughts were always on Kaneki. He wonder what the boy was thinking and where he had gone but of course he never asked. He wanted the boy to have his own space and free will.

"I hope you're not doing anything dangerous."

Kaneki walked through the city like a normal boy. It felt strange for the boy to walk every once and while. The city air was horrible as Kaneki remember. He recalled the first time he felt like that, it was the time when he first realize he had become a ghoul. That time he wanted to eat a lot and couldn't control his hunger but he manage to control it and even learn to eat normal food.

"Why did I decide to stay with Uta-san?" He didn't have the answer to that. He wanted to know, was because Uta was the kind man that wouldn't say no to him, or was it something completely different. Uta was somebody that Kaneki wanted to see a lot and wanted to stay by his side. The first time they met Kaneki was a bit creeped out but the man was not creepy at all.

Uta was looking at the clock, it hadn't even been long since Kaneki left but he was still worried about the young man.

"Uta." The door to his shop opened. He was sure he closed it so who has decided to barge in when he wanted a break from all the request he got. He looked toward the entrance and saw his fellow friend.

"It's you." Uta said.

"Sorry it's me." Yomo said.

"What brings you here to my shop?" Yomo isn't one to show up to Uta's shop unless it's something important.

"How's he doing?"

"I'm guessing you're talking about Kaneki-kun. He's changed from the boy we all used to know but he's still the same some aspect of him."

"What happened to him?"

"We all want to know but we were not there when he changed."

"I don't know if you're serious or just talking normal." Yomo said.

"You should know me."

"I do and this part of you hasn't changed since back then. Anyway I just wanted to know if he's okay." Yomo walked out the door without a wave of goodbye. The same old Yomo Renji that Uta knew from way back.

Right after Yomo left Kaneki arrived. Like the boy said he didn't come late. But something was odd about the boy, he was panting a lot.

"Did something happen?"

"Sorry, I was just running." Uta raised his eyebrow. He was sure the boy was lying but Uta didn't ask for anymore.

"You should go take a shower."

"I will." Kaneki walked toward the shower. Uta watched the boy enter the shower. His worried expression on his face wouldn't leave the older man.

"What are you hiding?" Uta sighed. He knew he would find out without the boy telling him. He didn't mind being silent.

When Kaneki came out the shower he came and sat beside Uta on the couch.

"Uta-san, About Aogiri?" It looked like Kaneki wanted to say something. "Never mind." Kaneki turned around and pretend to be interested in a book that was lying on the table.

Uta heard it loud and clear. Kaneki was interested in Aogiri Tree, the people that had kidnapped him and turned into something completely different.

"What did he want to say?"

"Kaneki-kun, I'm here for you." Uta without giving any warning to the boy pulled him into a tight embrace. This surprised the white-haired Kaneki. "I'm sure there are things you can't tell me or anybody else but just to let you know I'm here for you when you want to talk about it when the time is right." Those words made Kaneki really happy. Kaneki held onto Uta and embraced the older man back.

"Thank you." It was warm in Uta's arms. Kaneki felt safe and sound like there was nothing to worry about right now.

"I'm glad it's you here."

Kaneki had fallen asleep in Uta's arms while they had embraced. The older man carried the white-haired boy in his arms and toward their room. He placed the boy onto the bed. He was sure the boy was tired from all the panting he was hearing. He put the cover over the boy and before he left the room gave him a small peck on the cheeks.

"You don't realize what you're doing to me." Uta face was a bit red. He loved seeing the boy. He loved seeing this side of the boy that nobody else saw but he also felt guilty because he was also lying to the boy about something, he shouldn't when the boy was doing some lying of his own.

"I'll get a glass of water to drink then I'll go to sleep as well." So Uta said but he didn't go to sleep. He thought of Yomo. He looked worried, probably everybody else would be worried as well. But that was not why he didn't go to sleep right away.

The moment that Kaneki go home he could smell the slight scent of blood on him. It looked like Kaneki was trying to hide it by covering with another scent but Uta's nose still caught it. That is also reason why Uta suggested the boy to take a shower.

"Did you kill somebody?"

Uta always thought the boy couldn't kill until he saw him when the group rescued them when the boy got kidnapped. The half-ghoul wasn't the same person he saw before, white-hair with an expression that wanted to survive no matter what. He still wanted to fight even when he was tired and wounded.

Then the rumor floated that Yamori had died. Uta could only guess that Kaneki had killed him since that was the man who was with Kaneki is what the ghouls he killed said when they went looking for the boy.

Yamori was powerful and it's hard for a normal ghoul to beat him but the way Kaneki is now the boy could. He could kill many now but still the boy wanted to be even stronger. Uta didn't mind that at all the stronger the better.

Uta had enough of thinking about things on his own. He went to the bedroom. Kaneki was sleeping just like when he left the boy. Uta stepped into the bed. He stared at the sleeping boy beside him, Uta couldn't stop staring, and god the boy was just too cute. He wonder how they ended up sleeping together in the first place in which Kaneki didn't mind. Well Uta didn't have another room or bed so they really didn't have a choice but sleep together and the answer the boy gave him.

"We're both guys so it's not a problem for me." Of course he would say something like that since he is a bit dense in that area. Uta didn't mind at all since he got to cuddle with his beloved.

"Don't blame me if I do something."

"What do you mean?" The confused look the boy gave was so cute. Uta's expression was the same as always but still he was nervous around the boy sometimes even if he didn't show it.

"You should really think of how others feel."