A/N: Not sure how to describe this... How Darcy and Loki became friends. Except Loki becomes infatuated and Darcy is oblivious. Tricks, tasers, and hilarity ensues. And probably some angst. Scratch that. Definitely some angst, because, hey, it's Loki. Slightly cracky and rated a soft M for Darcy's potty mouth and probable smutishness down the road. Very slow-burn, eventual Loki/Darcy. Tasertricks.

Please review!

Song:

"Sleep Alone" Two Door Cinema Club

Disclaimer: I don't own anything Marvel. Duh. Also, I don't own these songs. If ya wanna hear them, please BUY THEM. It's the nice thing to do. :)

"No, my only goal is to seeeee, when I'm only fast asleeeeep..."

Darcy delicately docked her precious iPod in its speaker cradle and proceeded to sing and dance her way around the kitchen putting away dishes and generally straightening up.

Man, did she love her days off and having the place to herself. Most people could tell you that Darcy Lewis loved her iPod like it was her freaking child and that her earbuds were permanently attached to her ears. And those people wouldn't be wrong. But, in her humble opinion, there was nothing like blaring a song and having music flood an entire room. Some days, with some songs, ear buds just didn't quite cut it.

"So I'll hold, hold, hold it close to my heart, beating with every step..."

Darcy stopped to survey the results of her cleaning skills and nodded proudly. Sure, Jane and Thor probably wouldn't notice, but at least it was clean. Gods and astrophysicists are very messy and Darcy, despite what most would assume, was kinda a neat freak...

After the mind-fuck known as the Battle of New York, Stark Industries had hired (read:basically forced) Jane to come work for them in London, Darcy had of course been dragged along. Jane didn't seem to mind much since it meant endless money and resources to Science! with. Plus, you know, better access to her godly boy toy. And Darcy...well, she didn't have any other options. Somehow, her BS degree magically arrived in the mail right around the time SHEILD began soliciting them, despite the fact that it was only March. Yeeeeah, graduation wasn't until May. Talk about blackmail. Apparently, SHEILD could find uses even for lowly PoliSci interns, if they knew too much. Then after the 'Jane got elf-napped' fiasco, she and Darcy had been relocated to New York for safe keeping.

Overall, Darcy liked her new job. She got paid, which was cool. Eh, who was she kidding, it was AWESOME. She even had an official title: Darcy S. Lewis, technical programming liaison for the Avengers Initiative. Which is really just a fancy way of saying she still got to help Jane but was basically a glorified babysitter/personal assistant to the entire Science!Club plus the other Avengers. The digs at the Avengers Tower were the major boon,though. She shared a gargantuan three bedroom suite with Jane and Thor that, in the world of Darcy Lewis, was absolutely comparable to the Taj Mahal. Not that they needed three bedrooms, since Jane and Muscles McGee were shacked up and presumably humping like rabbits. Darcy had been meaning to send Tony and Pepper an Edible Arrangement to thank them for the extra sound-proofing in the apartment...

Yep, things had been going fantastic for the past year. That was, until about three weeks ago when Thor came back from a seemingly 'impromptu' visit to Asgard with his psychotic fake-brother in tow. And THEN had the nerve to be all, 'Awww c'mon guys he's so changed and cute and my brother! IT'S NBD!' Except, you know, he made it sound all Asgardian-fancy and shit so everyone swooned. Well, maybe just Jane swooned, but still...

Either way, Darcy had had a hellacious couple of weeks AND had just cleaned the house on her day off. Not too shabby. Time for a reward!

She danced her way to fridge, flung the double doors open in time with with the song, and sighed happily when she spied the object of her desire sitting pretty on the top shelf.

"Oh, Mountain Dew Code Red, nectar of the gods, get in my belly!" she crooned at the sugary beverage before slamming the refrigerator doors shut with her hips and shimmying her way over to the cupboards for a glass.

Just as she cracked the seal of the plastic cap, the hissing sound of doom reached her ears milliseconds before foamy red began erupting from the apparently dance-shaken bottle all over her and the counter top.

"Damnnnnnnnnn ittttttt!" she groaned.

As she scrambled for a kitchen towel, her elbow knocked the offending bottle to the floor where is rolled to its side and began to wildly pirouette, spewing sticky redness across the room.

"DOUBLE DAMN IT!" So much for a freshly cleaned kitchen, Darcy thought bitterly as she retrieved the basically empty bottle and tossed it into the sink. With a resigned sigh, she sunk to her knees and began sopping up the lake of Code Red formerly known as the kitchen floor.

"Oh, I do so like it when they kneel."

Darcy shrieked at the black leather boots that suddenly appeared under her nose from her spot on her hands and knees. "YOU ASSHOLE," she spat, nearly face-planting, "You scared the shit out of me! FUCK!"

Loki smirked down at her condescendingly, annoyingly looking even godlier from her position sprawled on the kitchen floor drowning in a Code Red tsunami. Darcy glowered at his freakishly tall, Asgardian ass and tried to slow her racing heart, "WHY in the name of Moses are you in my kitchen?!"

"Pathetic as it is..." Loki grimaced, looking around, "These Midgardian accommodations are pitiable."

Darcy gaped at him, dumbfounded. The 'accommodations' at the Avengers Tower were anything but 'pitiable', if you asked her. Hell, it was the nicest place she'd ever BEEN, much less freaking lived!

Loki cringed, visibly cringed, as the still-blasting song reached it's conclusion. "What was that infernal racket, mortal?"

Darcy's stunned look faded back into a glare and she readjusted her askew glasses, "Um, it's called music, immortal."

Loki clucked his tongue in false disapproval, "I beg to differ. However, I will have to politely request that you refrain from blaring it at such volumes if I am to reside here."

"B-but... I... How? WHAT!?"

Loki rolled his eyes, annoyance coloring his sharp features, "Articulate as ever, mortal."

On shaky legs, Darcy rose from her spot on the floor mouth agape, Code Red still dripping from her once-white AC/DC shirt and the ends of her hair, and just stared in disbelief at the God of Mischief.

If possible, Loki looked even more annoyed, "By Odin's beard, mortal, you look as if you've seen a bilgesnipe," his eyes narrowed and cocked his head, "You're not going to go into histrionics, are you?"

Darcy blinked slowly and finally whispered hoarsely, "Did you just say...that you...were moving in...with us?"

"Oh, yes," he purred, "the Man of Fury informed me thusly just an hour ago." Loki was looking at her with an amused glint in his eye and she wanted nothing more than to claw it out.

Darcy could hear the blood rushing through her ears. Dear sweet Lord. Loki, God of Mischief and Lies, Ultimate Trickster, Asshole Extraordinaire, and bane of her existence for the last three weeks was going to move into their apartment, her one place of solace and comfort in the entire tower? FUUUUUUUUUCK!

"JARVIS?" Darcy called, barely over a whisper, eyes still locked on Loki's face. At this point, his expression was practically fucking gleeful.

"Yes, Miss Lewis?" the AI butler responded over the apartment's speaker system, "How may I be of service?"

"Could you please send a message to Thor, Jane Foster, and Nick Fury for me?"

"Of course, Miss Lewis, what would you like it to say?"

"Could you tell them that I hate them and am going to fucking murder them?"

"Are you certain that is the message you wish to send, Miss Lewis?" JARVIS sounded uncharacteristically hesitant.

"Yeah, man," Darcy replied stonily as Loki openly smirked at her, "I am really, really sure."

A/N: Reviews are love! This was mostly a set up chap... Continue or no? Xoxo