Disclaimer: I do not own Hawaii Five-0 or any of the characters from Hawaii Five-0. If I did own them, Steve and Danny would be shacked up in Steve's beachside home with custody of Grace and knocking boots every night.

"Just put the thing down and come over here."

"But Danno-"

"No, no, no!"

"Danno-"

"No, Steven. That looks like some sort of torture device."

"..."

"Sirs, that's one of our top-"

"I don't care! We're not getting it."

"Danny."

"Steven."

"Danny."

"Fine."

"..."

"Good choice. Is there anything else?"

"N-"

"Yes. Let me just..."

"What? What else do we need to get?"

"Shush, Danno."

"Is this everything now?"

"..."

"Yes."

"Fantastic. Your total is two hundred eighty-seven dollars and sixty-nine cents."

"Babe-"

"Here."

"Thank you for shopping at Pleasure Shak, home of all your adult fantasy goods."