Five to Forever
By faecree

First Stage – Denial

In the earliest hours of the morning, when everything was covered in a fresh sugaring of frost and bathed in the sun's warming glow, the foremost sound one could detect was that of the birds as they rehearsed their songs of life. And yes, it was such a beautiful hymn, so melodically soothing. It was easy to get lost in that music, and, as such, it nearly lulled him back into his unyielding sleep. In fact, accompanied by the plush bedding of leaves and snow he was lying atop, it was almost as if Mother Nature had created a cradle especially for him.

Suddenly, Wirt shot up from the ground.

"Wha… W-what the heck?"

He wasn't sure what to make of his surroundings.

Okay, so he'd been lying flat on his back beneath a tree, that much was all too clear. However, he was alone and, to make matters worse, he didn't remember ever having gone to sleep in the first place.

Actually, when he thought about it, he didn't remember much of anything in that moment. Sure, of course he knew who he was (Wirt, a 15 year old boy during his sophomore in high school). However, there was so much more missing, all these blank slates in his mind, ones which seemed to have been sanded down over time.

He tried to remember home: nowhere. He tried to think of the names of those he would've called his family: no one. He even attempted to recall just how he had managed to end up in this forest to begin with, and, you guessed it, he had no idea!

Then, Wirt noticed something else about himself, something which only added to his trepidation, beyond all doubt.

It was so very strange; although his clothes were soaked, and the breeze should've been ice cold as it cut right through the fabric, he seemed impervious to it. It was almost as if his entire body had gone numb. Though, he could still feel the texture of the ground, and the tree behind him. There was no chill from the wind as it smoothed across his skin, nor the healthy, affectionate embrace of the sun, which hung so vibrantly above. He should've at least felt the temperate light as it caressed his face or the frigid, brittle leaves as they crushed beneath the weight of his body, but no, once again there was absolutely nothing.

When Wirt attempted to stand up his legs did not agree.

He felt as if he was going to be sick after his failed attempt at righting himself, watching the trees as they spun around him while he waited to empty his stomach, but worse was yet to come.

Dry-heaving was merely the beginning.

Though painful, Wirt continued to cough incessantly as he rested his forehead against the bark of the tree he'd been sleeping beneath, feeling an intense need to relieve the pressure which was rapidly building within his chest. It burned and throbbed, but there was nothing he could do except will himself not to pass out again from pain. It felt like something was trying to escape through his ribcage, and slowly tearing away at the inside tissue without mercy.

However, just as Wirt thought to himself that dying would've been better than suffering through the agony a moment longer, something amazing happened.

Suddenly, with one finally cough, an orb of blue light erupted from his mouth, leaving Wirt literally breathless as he watched it hover briefly before him. He had fallen to his knees as the pain began to ebb away, but he could not take his eyes off of the beautiful spectacle. He'd never seen anything so bright before; it actually gave him a sense of hope, until he realized what it was.

Right there, floating elegantly between the trees, was Wirt's soul.

Unfortunately, before he had a moment to process what exactly was going on, the entity began to drift away.

Wirt instantly jumped to his feet with renewed vigor in response, ignoring the question of how he was able to walk again so abruptly, even as he was chasing after his own essence. He felt nearly weightless, like he was gliding through the woods, without his feet even touching the snow, but in that moment he had no time to dwell on it. He had but one thing on his mind, and that was the fear that he was about to lose himself.

Eventually, after weaving through the trees for a while, Wirt realized that his soul had led him to a clearing. Of course, it was a bit suspicious looking, to be quite frank. There was a distinct circle in the woods, unnaturally barren in an ominous fashion, but at the center sat a lonely stump which caught his eye.

Now, typically the stump itself would've been unimpressive, however, atop it was a lantern, one which nearly unnerved him to look at. It appeared practically ancient, perched there in an eerie light. He didn't want to approach it, yet he was curious, and temptation was such a dangerous thing. Though, he probably would not have gone near the thing if he hadn't seen his soul do so on its own.

In fact, it did more than that; his soul literally descended into the lantern then, leaving him dumbfounded and unable to move.

And, it too, began to glow that gorgeous blue light.

"What in the world…?" Wirt wheezed in shock.

"I must be dreaming," he went on a bit frantically. "Yeah, this must be a dream! This is too crazy to be reality!"

He rubbed his face with the palms of both his hands, looking down at the frozen dirt beneath his feet for a long while once he was done.

Wirt's body became excessively uncomfortable then, even more so than it already had been. There was a prickling sensation running up and down his spine constantly which made him want to run, and he felt like he couldn't catch a breath, because he realized he wasn't breathing.

Though, who was he to judge whether or not he was living a nightmare?

This was coming from the perspective of someone who didn't even know his own last name, after all. He had already begun to question his own existence anyway, that being whether or not he'd even had a life before he woke up in the mysterious forest. True, as was made clear before, he knew his identity technically, but without any other memories to support it, that didn't necessarily mean anything.

But he could not recall a dream having ever affected him so physically before.

"I'm not dead," said Wirt spontaneously.

His hands felt the worst, though his entire body was numb enough. However, in his fingers the sensation (or lack-there-of) was so disconcerting that he felt a distinct desire to find out just how much feeling he really had left in him. Of course, there was no time for such self-destructive thoughts. Really, what was the point in testing his own limits of pain tolerance?

Wirt knew that if he was going to figure out what was happening to him, he needed to stay focused and calm enough to navigate the situation. There was no sense in fixating on stupid whims.

With that in mind, he approached the stump and swept the lantern swiftly from its spot.

As soon as the metal touched his hand, he was overtaken by a strange rush of energy. He swore then that the summer wind had snuck through the snow to pass over him, and it was so refreshing, calming even. He just didn't want that physical reassurance to leave him, feeling as though he would be swept away into nothing if it did.

And then, the strangest thing happened yet; Wirt heard his own voice speak to him.

Don't lose the light, his voice warned him. You can wander wherever you'd like, so long as you have it. The light ties us to this place, keeps us on the right path, so you better not lose it unless you want to be lost yourself. Anyway, for now it would be best if I showed you the way to her house, huh?

And, though this may sound hard to believe, Wirt obeyed the disembodied voice (or maybe it was just in his head) without question. He, of course, figured it might've had something to do with the fact that he was listening to himself speak, rather than some stranger, but, ultimately, it made no difference. He truly had no other options. So, bearing that in mind, when he followed the word of his own voice, it didn't really seem all that crazy to him after all.

Trudging through the woods, Wirt's voice did not speak to him again throughout the entirety of the journey, though it said it was guiding him somewhere. He simply knew where to go, like his Other Self was sending the knowledge directly to his subconscious. Of course, the silence was a bit unnerving, as was just about everything else around him, but he wasn't really sure what he'd expected.

In some places the snow had begun to melt already, but otherwise the world surrounding Wirt was covered in the white of winter. He wondered what day it was, but had no way of knowing. Once again, not that it mattered, but any sort of knowledge would have been welcome as far as he was concerned. When he thought about it, anything was better than nothing at that point.

After a time which seemed longer than it actually was, Wirt's journey came to an end. Looking on towards to distance, he found himself near a hill, presented with the spot where a nicely sized home had taken up residence.

"Where am I?" he wondered aloud.

I told you, his Other Self spoke up again, sounding frustrated. Didn't I say I was taking you to her?

"Her?" Wirt asked, though he still felt strange about conversing with himself.

Just go knock on the door or something already, his voice groaned.

Approaching the house, the sound of laughter and merrymaking filled Wirt's ears. It seemed as though there must have been a decently sized family inside as well (which made sense considering how large their abode was), but that only proved to make it a bit more difficult to work up the courage to disrupt their fun.

However, as was stated before, he had no other options.

After giving himself a halfhearted pep talk, Wirt knocked on the door three, steady times.

"I'll get it!" he heard a voice call from inside.

When the home opened to him, in the doorway stood a girl he swore he recognized.

"Wirt!" she gasped.

"Beatrice?"

See? his inner voice drawled.

Wirt ignored it.

"Oh, Wirt!" Beatrice went on, looking absolutely horrified. "What are you doing here?"

He looked around, examining the area.

"Where is 'here,' exactly?" he asked.

Beatrice was dumbfounded.

"The Unknown," she explained, leaning closer and squinting at him. "And what happened to your eyes…?"

"My eyes?"

Suddenly, she spotted the lantern hanging at his side and her face contorted in recognition.

"Wirt," she began cautiously. "That lantern…"

Wirt looked down at the antique in his hand, wondering why it startled her as much as it did. Of course, after what he'd seen earlier, it really wasn't that much of a stretch to say that the thing was dangerous was it? He already felt rather cursed, as it was.

Dangerous isn't really the right word, his Other Self said offhandedly.

Taking a step outside, Beatrice closed the door behind her and grabbed Wirt by his upper arms, practically shaking him.

"Why do you have that lantern, Wirt?" she demanded. "What are you still doing here? Why didn't you go home!?"

He stared at her, confused.

"Home?" he echoed. "I don't understand."

"Home, yes!" she exclaimed hysterically. "And where is Greg? He isn't with you?"

Wirt furrowed his brows.

"Greg?"

Beatrice's breath hitched at his words and she released her hold on him, taking a step back. Her shoulders were shaking, and for a second he thought she might yell at him, but instead she stood there, chewing her bottom lip in a nervous fashion.

It was odd, Wirt thought, that though he knew the girl standing before him, recognized her voice and her name, her face was something he could not recall. Although, he was positive Beatrice was a friend, and she clearly knew more about him than he himself, somehow the situation just made everything all the more puzzling. After all, how could he be so familiar with someone who looked as though they were a stranger?

It was kind of like his inner voice, wasn't it?

"Oh no…" Beatrice whispered as a few stray tears wandered down her face.

He was struck still by the sight.

"You aren't even lost anymore, are you?" she went on, wiping the water from her eyes with the back of her hand.

Well, Wirt certainly felt lost, that was for sure.

"I don't understand," he said again.

"Oh, Wirt," Beatrice whimpered as she began to cry harder.

Here we go… his Other Self sighed.

Flinging herself at him, she wrapped her arms around his neck and sobbed.

"You didn't even get to find your way home; you died!"

COMING NEXT: Second Stage - Anger

AN: Oh, I feel so accomplished, because I really wanted to get this out on Christmas Eve and here we are! (please ignore any mistakes for now...)

Okay, so the idea behind this is a "what-if" situation where Wirt drowns (I know, I'm sorry). Greg lives, of course, and everything from the show still happened, except in the last episode of this version they would've found Wirt dead… (why am I even doing this to myself?) It's also very loosely based off of tumblr user imaginashon's AU, ft. Wirt as the caretaker of the Unknown, so if you want to guess how this story will end there's an extremely slight a hint.

Also, I apparently have a thing for giving Wirt memory loss…

Hmm… Anyway, I guess you could say the original idea for this story was that Wirt going through the stages of grief is kinda like his journey passing through the Unknown (represented as a sort of purgatory) so that he can move on to the next life. Of course, then I wanted to make him the new Guardian (destined to guide lost souls for eternity and all that), so I scrapped some parts of the initial story plan and it turned into this.

Oh, and I ship Wirt/Beatrice, so be ready for that too.

P.S.

Just in case anyone following my Code Geass stories decided to read this (for whatever strange reason, I'm not really sure why you would), obviously nothing has been abandoned, I just really wanted to get this out on time. Plus, this story is gonna be wayyy shorter, and I wrote chapter one in a matter of like… 3 days.

Anyway, I've been working on "Melting Ice" and "Lost Kitten" pretty diligently and I'm also being far more professional about those two stories (since they're both going to be longer and more in-depth).

This story is only going to be 6 chapters, and around 2-3k words each.

Also, really sad…

Thanks for reading!
Happy Holidays,

- fae