Beta: Miral-Romanov

Has Someone Been Peeking At My Christmas List?

"Okety-dokety, Ponds!" the Doctor all but shouted, as he slammed down the controls so that the TARDIS landed with a bang. "Leadworth, December 20th!"

"We're four days early for Christmas?" Amy asked, sounding a bit put out that she had to wait.

"Nonsense, the fun is in the waiting— anticipation, you know," the Doctor said dismissively with a wave of his hand, flicking one last control before opening the doors with a snap of his fingers and strolling out. "Oh dear, I was a bit off. Landed about two blocks away. Looks like we'll have to walk a bit."

Amy and Rory followed him grudgingly from the warmth of the ship into the chilled air, huddling together for warmth and both cursing the Doctor in their minds for his superior biology when he started to skid gleefully on the frosted sidewalk, unaffected by the temperatures. On the walk back to their place, the Doctor chattered about the upcoming holiday festivities and even suggested that they have their own party on the TARDIS, where there would be served fish fingers and custard as the main course. Rory was starting to argue with him that his choice of a main meal was utterly horrid, when the Doctor paused mid-rebuttal, mouth hanging open.

"Ooh, I can feel another me here!" he gasped out, flinging his head around to try and catch a glimpse.

"That's not gonna work— we're still not having fish fingers and custard for Christmas dinner," Amy huffed.

"No, really, there's another me here," the Doctor said, stopping them with an outstretched arm. "And he's coming this way."

Amy beamed when she realised he was telling the truth. "Then I get to meet a past you? Like, the one with the stupid scarf that you were tellin' me about?"

"It was not stupid," he argued. "Although I'll admit it was stupidly long." He rubbed as his throat. "The times I got that thing caught on bushes or in doors— once even in a plane engine! I ended up suing the airport for five thousand jelly babies." His expression turned dreamy. "Can I have jelly babies in my stocking?"

"Yes Doctor," Amy sighed. "Now where's the other you?"

"The other who?" he said eloquently, before looking startled. "Ooh, right, me! Heh. Well, he's comin' around the corner right now! Look, that must be him right over therrrgln…"

The Doctor's voice dissolved into gurgles and his pointing arm dropped back to his body like a stone, his already wide-eyed face slackening even more at the sight of two blurry figures just down the street. Rory frowned at the Doctor as Amy stood on tiptoes and squinted to try and better see the couple. Their laughter could be heard from the Ponds' position, and all Amy could see of them was that they were holding hands. Amy tugged on the Doctor's sleeve to try and get his attention, but the only response she got was a series of spluttering noises.

"Oi, Raggedy Man!" she said loudly, swatting him over the head. "Who is that?"

"I think he's broken," Rory grinned, reaching out a hand to poke the Doctor's cheek.

Before Rory's finger could even get within an inch of the Doctor's face, he took off sprinting towards the couple, tripping over himself twice and nearly losing his shoe at one point. Amy and Rory stood dumbstruck for a brief second, exchanging a look that clearly conveyed the message 'what the sodden hell?' and took off running after him. Because of his 'Time Lord superiority' they couldn't catch up with him but were able to soon properly see the couple— one was an older, salt-and-pepper-haired man dressed in a red-lined blue jacket, and the other was a blonde, lovely and very pregnant woman in a pink maternity dress and a bright yellow overcoat that fell to her knees.

The Doctor stopped running when he was only a few metres away from them — although it also could have something to do with the giant patch of ice he'd skidded on — his cheeks flushed and mouth still open. The couple stopped as well, happy smiles sliding off of their faces at the sight of him. By the time the panting Amy and Rory reached them, they'd spent a full minute simply gaping at each other. At once the woman's eyes flickered down to her ballooning stomach and she hastily rearranged her overcoat so it covered it.

"Well, this is bad," muttered the older bloke, a hint of Scottish in his accent.

"Really bad!" the other woman hissed, tugging on the man's sleeve urgently. "Really, really bad! Isn't this a paradox? Are the Reapers comin'?!"

"Relax, love," the man chuckled, placing a hand over her own gloved one. "It's a little bit paradoxical, yes, but perfectly manageable."

"But he saw… it!" she whispered, flicking her eyes down to her stomach again.

"Ah," the man replied airily, frowning. "Should we run?"

"Do I look like I'm in the state to run right now, Mister?!" the woman fumed, scowling at him.

"When you're all done, thanks," Amy snapped, getting annoyed.

They ignored her, the woman looking panicked and the man looking almost annoyingly calm, amusement even flickering over his face at the sight of the Doctor with his jaw on the ground and his eyes superglued to the woman's face. And — Amy did a double take in utter astonishment — he was trembling like a leaf. What the hell…?

"Rose?" tumbled from the Doctor's mouth on a strangled-sounding noise, fists clenching and unclenching and legs twitching as though debating whether or not to throw himself at her or run away.

She paused her whisper-yell conversation with the other man, turning to him slowly and biting her lip. She'd apparently forgotten to keep her overcoat covering her stomach, because it had fallen away and she didn't seem to care, even though the Doctor's eyes kept flickering to it, still looking like a clueless gaping fish. "Hello," she said, finally smiling, eyes twinkling and tongue at the corner of her mouth.

Were those… tears? Her raggedy man had tears in his eyes! "Hello."

His eyes rested on her ballooning stomach, and a shadow flickered over his face. Rose apparently saw it too, because her smile disappeared at once. She scoffed and turned to the other man, hands on her hips. "Why are you always jealous o' yourself?"

"You're me?!" the Doctor gaped.

"Thought you established that earlier," Rory inputted confusedly.

"Yep!" said the older Doctor cheerily, ignoring Rose's continued look of irritation.

"But… but this is my last body!" he half-cried, flailing his arms around and nearly knocking Rory in the face with his elbow in his haste to gesture at his body. "How can you exist?!"

"It's a secret," Rose grinned, and the old Doctor snorted and repeated on a mutter, "Secret."

"And you… Rose, you… and you're…" he spluttered, eyes now on Rose again.

"I forgot you used to do that," Rose laughed with a nostalgic sigh.

"How are you here?" he finally managed to say coherently, sounding near tears again. Amy blushed and Rory pretended to be interested in a cloud. "You were in the other universe… I left you with…" The Doctor swallowed and fell oddly silent for a moment, becoming interested in his shoes. "With him," he finished.

"I'll explain it all when I get here," Rose said, before giggling. "Blimey, been around you too long— nothin' I say makes any sense anymore."

"Oi, you three… two… however many you are!" Amy shouted, stomping her foot and splashing ice water over Rory's trainers. "Could somebody please explain what the sodden hell's goin' on?"

Rose snapped her head up to look at her as though only just noticing her existence, and to Amy's immense astonishment she beamed. "Amy!"

"Do I know you, lady?" Amy asked, giving her a once over.

"Not yet!" Rose said brightly. "I'm—" She paused and then turned to the man, who was watching the scene with idle amusement. "Can I?"

"They'll all have to forget, but I'm sure it's worth it," the older Doctor said with a gentle smile.

Rose smiled happily and pulled Amy into as tight a hug as her stomach would allow. "I'm Rose," she added, pulling away. "Rose Tyler. I'm… um… well…"

She looked to the other Doctor for direction, and he grinned and said, "She's my wife."

Rory actually audibly gasped, like this was some kind of soap opera, and Amy's jaw hit the ground both from the older Doctor's confession and because now her raggedy Doctor had genuine tears spilling down his face now, looking both the epitome of joy and utter shock at the same time.

Rose bit her lip and said, "Er, yeah, I'm that too."

"We get married?" the Doctor squeaked, unaware yet that he was crying.

"I don't kiss and tell," she grinned, tongue in teeth again.

"When?"

"Oh, about two hundred years after she finds us again," the older Doctor said airily, smiling almost pityingly at his predecessor's reaction.

Before the bowtie Doctor could start spluttering again, Rose rubbed the back of her neck and laughed nervously, "I sor' of tied my lifespan to yours." Once again, before the Doctor could fool everyone into thinking his tongue had a mind of its own, she added, "I come back real soon though. What's the date?"

"2012, December 20th," the other Doctor answered at once with a secret smile.

She beamed. "I come back in four days, then!"

"I get you back on Christmas?!"

"Looks like somebody has been peeking at your Christmas list, Doctor," Rory snorted.

"Ponds," said the Doctor, voice oddly high pitched. He sounded like he had a lemon wedged in his throat. "Could you go back to the TARDIS?"

"What?" Amy said in irritated shock.

"Please?" he all but begged.

Amy opened her mouth to argue, but Rory grabbed her arm and steered her back in the direction of the police box, leaving the two Doctors and Rose by themselves. The older Doctor stepped back into the distance to give them privacy as well, hands in his pockets and eyes wandering around the Leadworth street.

"You tied…?" the Doctor started in earnest.

"I wanted to," Rose shrugged.

"And we're…?"

"Yep."

"So then that's…?" he added, watery eyes drifting to her gigantic stomach.

"Yours," she smiled, giving her belly an endearing pat. "An' you know what?"

He swiped at his eyes once before whispering, "What?"

Rose let a hand fly up to her earring, playing with it just like he remembered she used to do before saying, looking up at him beneath her lashes, "It's not the first."

He whimpered and then cried out, tossing his arms around her and clamping her to him as tightly as her stomach would allow, face buried in her shoulder as he let out sob after sob. She sniffled as well but kept on beaming into his jacket-covered shoulder, trailing her hands up and down his back comfortingly.

"I miss you," he cried, hand tangling into her hair. "All the time. I…"

"I know," she murmured. "Me too."

"You really come back to me? My Rose?"

"Really. My Doctor."

He pressed his lips into her neck, trying to hold back another flurry of sobs and succeeding only mildly. To his surprise, over the thrumming mental connection from his future self, he felt another miniscule mental signature reach out towards his own, making him whip his head back and gape at Rose's stomach.

"Rose, she's looking for me," he gasped, dropping to his knees and pressing his ear gently against her stomach, apparently unaware that he'd just knelt down in a puddle of ice water. "Ooh, hello there little one," he breathed, stroking his thumb just underneath Rose's belly button. "Daddy's here."

"Feel good?" she asked warmly, giving his hair a soft ruffle with her fingers, nails dragging over his scalp.

"Yeah," he shivered, eyes sliding shut blissfully as his daughter's tiny tendril of a mental presence snuck its way through his mind. He felt another larger, stronger caress over his mind, a bright golden presence mingling with that of his daughter's. His eyes shot open at once, staring up at Rose with astonishment. "Rose… you can't—"

"Pretty sure I can," she grinned, tongue at the corner of her mouth. As if to prove it, she gave his mind another elongated, sweeping stroke, hearing him sigh out with pleasure.

"How?" he managed to gurgle out, basking in her mental touch.

"Can't tell you that," she reminded him, and the thrum of her in his head was too pleasurable for him to complain, let alone register what she said.

The Doctor's future self, who'd been previously hanging around idly in the background pretending to examine the suburban houses, shuffled awkwardly and glanced at his wife and his prostrated past self before approaching them and clearing his throat. "Time's up," he said, somehow managing to sound brusque and gentle at the same time.

Rose eased herself from his mind, making the Doctor wince at the now cavernous emptiness in his head. His future daughter's receded as well, and he became irrationally furious at the loss, glaring at his next self and shunting all of the anger he was feeling over their connection, which was subsequently ignored.

"Don't pout," Rose said fondly, pulling him up by his shoulders and trailing her thumb over the side of his jaw. "S'only a four-day wait. You'll see me soon."

Excitement at the prospect and his unwillingness to turn around and return to his Rose-less TARDIS fought with each other in his chest, and he swooped down and pressed his shivering lips against hers. She responded at once, to his delight and slight relief, pressing herself as tightly to him as her stomach would allow and even making a tiny, shuddery moaning sound that went straight to his crotch, to his slight embarrassment.

Pulling away and looking deliciously flushed, Rose licked her lips before telling him in a dazed voice, "Gotta go."

"I know," he breathed, trying not to sound forlorn and failing. Giving her lips one last quick peck, he tore himself away from her and ran as best he could down the icy street to stop himself from doing monumentally stupid like knocking out his future self and running away with Rose (it actually did occur to him).

Rose watched her floppy-haired, bowtie-wearing Doctor run away from her, trying not to huff out with irritation. Before she could voice her disapproval, the Twelfth Doctor added quickly, "Don't get angry with me— it was actually best that I ran away."

Rose frowned at him. "Why?"

His cheeks coloured slightly, and with a disgruntled air about him he admitted grudgingly, "I… may or may not have entertained the thought of hitting this version of me unconscious and kidnapping you."

Rose started to giggle, using his shoulder to keep herself standing as he stared off into the distance a bit grumpily. "That's adorable."

"And paradoxical," he supplied, slinking his arm underneath her overcoat and around her waist possessively.

"Mm." She snuck her own hand around, cupping his bum firmly and making him squeak unattractively. "Can we go back to the TARDIS? Snogging past you gave me some interesting ideas involving bowties," she added, sending him a heated look.

He mirrored the look, grabbing her hand and tugging her back the way they'd come. "Insatiable, you."

"You love it."

Her Doctor grinned at her. "I do."

"So," Amy was saying in a slightly irritated tone, propping herself up on the jump seat and swinging her legs idly. "Raggedy Man gets married again."

"River's gonna be thrilled," Rory snorted, playing absent-mindedly with a lever on the console, only to jump out of his shoes when the TARDIS beeped at him indignantly.

"I know I am," Amy scowled, nails digging into the leather. "I don't care how much mascara she wears— he'd better not cheat on River!"

"We don't know what'll happen in the future," Rory supplied, in the Doctor's defence. "The crotchety-looking bloke said they only got married two hundred years later."

"Then why'd he marry River if he loved some other woman?"

"He did say she was in another universe with some other bloke," Rory reminded her. "Guess he thought he'd never see her again."

"I s'pose." She tilted her head back, grimacing at the ceiling. "Rose Tyler," Amy said aloud, blowing air through puffed cheeks. "Never heard him mention her."

"She's pretty," Rory said offhandedly, before flushing when Amy shot him a glare. "Just an observation."

"Wonder what happened to make her leave," Amy said, directing her gaze to her boots.

"Or what made her come back."

The doors of the TARDIS opened, and a forlorn-looking Doctor with a severely tearstained face shuffled inside, looking slightly ashamed. Amy hopped off the jump seat and hurried over to him, pausing in her steps when he did too. "Doctor?" He didn't answer, staring at his plimsolls. "Are you all right?"

He sniffed once, but when he lifted his head and looked at her, there was nothing but joy behind the tears in his eyes. "Yeah."

He opened his arms in invitation, beaming, and Amy exhaled in relief and tossed herself into his embrace, sighing happily and even giggling when he picked her up and spun her slightly ungracefully, his laughter getting intertwined with hers. Rory stuck out his jaw in a disapproving pout, and when the Doctor finally put Amy down Rory said loudly, "Where'd your wife go?"

Rory's use of the word 'wife', though born out of jealousy, made the Doctor's beam widen even more. "She had to go home with the other me."

Amy fidgeted, playing idly with the cuffs on his tweed jacket. "So," she said for the second time. "Rose'll show up in four days, then?"

He nodded, eyes crinkling at the corners. "Which means," he said softly, "I'll have to forget today happened."

"Because of timelines?" Amy frowned.

He nodded again. "And you'll have to forget it too. Both of you."

"How will we do that?" Rory asked.

The Doctor gestured for Rory to approach him, and he obeyed. "I'll lock the memories away," he said, resting two fingers of both hands on Amy and Rory's temples. "It won't hurt," he added reassuringly, when Amy looked apprehensive.

She relaxed and nodded as well, giving him an encouraging smile before saying, a little grudgingly, "Can't wait to meet her."

The Doctor beamed again, eyes glistening brightly, before shutting his eyes and slipping into their minds. They all blinked as forgetfulness washed over them, and the Doctor stumbled back from his Ponds, fingers falling from their temples. They stared at the different scenery with confusion, glancing at each other.

"Er, Doctor?" Amy asked. "When did we get back into the TARDIS?"

"Not sure," the Doctor frowned, scanning himself internally. "Ooh, I made myself forget something."

"Us too?"

"I'm guessing. Wonder what it was. Must've been important." He brought a hand up to his face. "Why's my face wet?"

"Maybe you were crying?" Rory suggested with a smirk.

"Time Lords don't cry," the Doctor said knowingly, wiping his eyes with the back of his sleeve and bouncing to the console. "Geronimo, then, Ponds! Off we go so we can skip ahead to Christmas!"

"Wait, I remember you saying that you were gonna drop us off four days before Christmas," Amy said.

"Did I?" the Doctor said, beaming at them. "Well I've changed my mind— literally. Suddenly I can't wait to get to Christmas! Feel like it's gonna be the best one ever."

A/N: Sorry for the Lamentation-esque plotline, but this was written like seven months ago, and when I had initially decided to write something else I got yelled at by several people :x Anywayz, as promised I've marked the series as complete, even though I have a couple more holiday fics planned for the future; they just won't be on every holiday like the last run :) So stay tuned for "Best Laid Plans" (Valentine's Day) and "Joke's On You" (April Fools)! Merry Christmas! No there won't be a sequel so don't ask.