The Detoxify Draught

Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Harry Potter/Severus Snape
Warnings & Content: Noncon/Dubcon Elements (not between Harry and Severus), Dark, Cousin Incest, Smut, Mystery, Drama, Angst, Humour, PTSD, Alcoholism, Thoughts of Suicide, Dream Sex, Character Death, Violence, Child Trafficking, Chan, Grey!Harry, Happily Ever After for Severus and Harry
Notes: Chapters one through four, seven through thirteen, and fifteen have been beta-read by the lovely MyFirstistheFourth.

Summary: Harry suffers from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder and drinks to escape his past. He's ordered by the Head Auror to get help or lose his job. While on work leave, Harry starts having erotic dreams and soon finds himself embracing a hidden past he never thought possible.

I'm working on improving the style and flow of earlier chapters.

Beginning of the End

Rain starts to fall on the forest canopy above. A stubbled-faced wizard tilts his head upwards and considers casting a water-repelling charm on his clothes but decides not to bother. Instead, he continues to slog up the mountainside he's been climbing for the last twenty minutes. After a few more paces, he finally spies a group clad in dark robes and ducks behind a fallen log.

As drops of sweat run down his neck and past his collar, he places the tip of his wand onto his temple and whispers, "Crescendio."

He scrunches his brow and grits his teeth. His booming heartbeat. The stomping steps of an iridescent beetle. The forlorn cries of the birds surrounding him. He covers his ears, attempting to lessen the deafening confusion of sounds. Narrowing his piercing fern-coloured eyes, he wills his mind to focus. And then, like tuning to a proper radio station, a crisp, lilting voice, strong with emotion, fills his ears.

"…was beyond courageous. I saw him for the first time during his Sorting. He was such a slight, pale boy. But every year, he grew in both stature and knowledge, and I knew, one day, he would make something of himself.

"One distinct memory I have is of him with Lily Potter, then Evans. While in Transfiguration—I believe it was their third year—he handed her a wilted lily. From his robes, I saw him pull out a small bottle, and from it, he placed a single drop on the blossom. An instant later, it burst into life, turning a cheery yellow."

Her lips twitch into a smile. "He earned Slytherin ten points that day. I should have given another ten—for love—because it had been clear how much he cared for her. Severus lost his way but found it again. I am honoured to call him a hero of the Second Wizarding War…"

The concealed wizard lifts a hand and, from his cheeks, wipes away tears now intermixed with raindrops. His fingers clenching his wand, he tries to regain control of himself and inhales a deep, shaky breath.

"…wished his ashes scattered in a peaceful location. Mr Malfoy, if you will."

Draco Malfoy looks down at the dark green urn wrapped protectively in his arms. His nostrils flare as he swallows, his Adam's apple bobbing. Trembling, he manages not to drop the jar as he places it into Headmistress McGonagall's steady hands. She removes its silver lid and hands it to Draco, who now has tears in his eyes.

"With great sadness"—McGonagall points her wand tip over the urn—"we say goodbye to the man who was Severus Snape." And with a broad wave of her arm, she sends Severus Snape's ashes swirling into the ether.

Peeking over the log, the wizard uses his fingers to wipe away dirt and rain that have accumulated on the lenses of his eyeglasses. Vision improved, he watches as the spell umbrellaing the ceremony site shimmers and then fades.

Cracks as guests Disapparate join the sound of nearby thunder until only the silhouetted figures of McGonagall and Malfoy remain.

McGonagall offers the wand in her hand. "As per Severus' will, I'm leaving his wand in your care, Mr Malfoy."

Head tall, he solemnly replies, "Thank you."

After McGonagall and Malfoy Disapparate, Harry leaves his hiding place. He walks forwards until the toes of his worn boots dangle over nothing but air.

Harry reaches into an inner pocket and pulls out a picture of his mum and Severus. The photo is still warm from his body heat. It's stained and tattered, but his bloodshot eyes can plainly see a gangly little boy and a beaming little girl. They smile, run around, and then the youthful eyes of Severus widen when she wraps her arms around him in a playful hug.

Before the photo becomes too waterlogged, Harry lets the strengthening wind pull it from his grasp.

He gazes up into the rainfall. "I believe Mum must have forgiven you, Severus. I've" —he closes his eyes, licks his lips, and swallows—"I've failed you…and so many others. I hope beyond the veil you're allowed to forget the betrayals and disappointments of life, or at the very least…they no longer hurt."

Staring down into the deep ravine, he shouts, "I hate that you're another person I'll never get to know!"

After clearing moisture from his face with his woollen sleeve, in a softer voice, he says, "I'm so tired…tired of it all."

Harry stands for a few minutes in silence, absorbing the gloomy vista before him.

He takes a deep shuddering breath. "I've felt stuck, but I'm ready to move on." Harry leans forwards. "I'm sor—"

A howling gale from below sweeps Harry off his feet, and he lands hard on his back. Catching his breath, an icy tendril of wind caresses his left cheek, and he closes his eyes.

"Harry! Where have you been!"

"H-Hermione?" Harry pops open his eyes as she and Ron hurry out of the forest line.

"Ron, tell him how worried everyone has been!"

"Yeah, mate. Mum's been beside herself. Did you hear the time wrong?" Ron pauses a moment and stares down at his friend. "Uh, Harry, why are you lying on the ground all covered in mud?"

Shutting his eyes, Harry turns away from their concerned faces.

Hermione kneels next to him and covers one of his hands with hers. "Harry, are you alright?"

Harry's fists tighten for a second. He sighs. Turning back around, he crookedly grins. "Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine. You're right, Ron. My ears still ring a little from the war. I must have heard it wrong." He forces out a laugh.

As Hermione helps Harry to his feet, she glances at Ron. "Come on, Harry. Let's get you out of this dreary weather."

Harry catches a fleeting look at the grey horizon before he allows himself to be Apparated away.