What if, instead of Castle overhearing Kate in '47 Seconds' and coming to the conclusion that she didn't really love him, Kate overheard Castle talking with Martha and interpreted his words to mean that he had lied when he told her he loved her?

Yep, I love turning an episode on its head.

As I try to do, I was going to wait until I had this story finished before posting. But about a week ago I realized that I didn't have enough money to ship Natalie Elizabeth's package (from the US to Australia) until the day AFTER Christmas, and I couldn't have NOTHING for her to read/watch/open/whatever on Christmas morning. I am going to try my best to have the rest of this story written and posted ASAP. The four-day weekend coming up should help…..

Disclaimer: I do not own Castle. But since they have both said 'ILY' and variations at least 25 times (my friend Eva counted them for me recently) AND they're married, my Caskett shipper heart is quite content.

Castle had lied.

Kate had, too. But she had lied to give herself time to heal, to be ready for the type of relationship she wanted. A relationship without walls, without one foot outside the door.

A relationship with Castle.

A relationship that Kate had found out less than a minute ago that Castle had never really wanted….

Five minutes ago

Kate was tired of waiting. She knew Castle had said that 'it' could wait until after the case. But she didn't want to wait anymore. He wasn't the only one who had been thinking about the victims of the bombing. About the opportunities they would never have.

Why this one case was affecting her so much, she didn't know. Kate was a homicide detective. She dealt with death on a daily basis. Hundreds of cases, hundreds of victims.

Yet this case had made her face a truth she had been denying for far too long. One day, whether it was hours or decades away, she was going to die. Castle was going to die. There was no escaping it.

She didn't want to waste one more minute. She needed to tell Castle how she felt about him.

And she needed to do it now.

Her time on the elevator before it reached Castle's floor seemed endless. It made her wish she had taken the stairs. With the adrenaline coursing through her, she probably wouldn't even be winded when she made it to his door.

Muffled voices reached her right before the soft ding of the elevator. Once the doors opened, she was pretty sure she could make out Castle's voice. And was that….? Yes, it was definitely Martha.

Kate hesitated for a brief moment. Maybe she should come back. If they were arguing she would feel incredibly awkward interrupting and Castle wouldn't be in the right frame of mind to listen to what she had to say, anyway.

Or they might just be having an ordinary conversation.

Enough excuses. She was not going to chicken out this time.

Kate raised her fist to knock when Castle's voice reached her, his words as clear as if he were standing right by her side.

"What was I supposed to do? She was lying there on the ground. No one knew if she was going to make it. I had to give her something to hold on to."

What?

Her hand froze while the rest of her body started to softly tremble. Kate barely had time to process the words before Martha replied. "Better to have said nothing than to have lied."

Kate, I love you. I love you, Kate.

The words floated through her mind. Words that had given her such hope now mocked her.

Kate, stay with me, Kate. Don't leave me, please. Stay with me, okay?

Those words had been sincere, she was sure of it. It couldn't have all been a lie.

Would he have really done it? Castle was observant, especially when it came to her. It wasn't outside the realm of possibility that he had figured out how she felt about him.

But would he really have said he loved her just to give her something to hold on to?

Kate's mind made quick work of gathering the evidence.

Castle didn't know she had planned to stop by and see him; he didn't expect to see her until the next morning.

When he had tried to get her to stop looking into her mom's case, telling her to think about all of those who loved her, he had mentioned her dad. He had even had the nerve to mention Josh. Right before accusing her of hiding in relationships with men she didn't love. So he knew. He knew that Josh didn't mean as much to her as Castle himself did.

Yet when she had called him on it, practically demanding that he admit it by saying, 'What about you, Rick?' he had called himself her 'partner.' Her 'friend.'

No mention at all of love.

And it wasn't the first time. She had asked him once why he kept coming back and he'd made a joke about being a plucky side-kick. He'd upgraded that to partner when she pointed out that the plucky side-kick always gets killed.

She could convince herself it was out of respect for her relationship with Josh that kept him from repeating the words, except she'd broken up with the man before leaving for her father's cabin. Castle had known about the break-up from the afternoon she'd shown up at his book signing, over seven months ago.

Why, in all that time, had he not told her again how he felt, if he really did love her?

Her assumption had been that he had understood what she'd meant when she said she couldn't have the type of relationship she wanted until her walls had come down. She thought he'd been waiting.

But what if that wasn't it?

What if he just didn't-

She needed to get out of there.

Now.

She couldn't risk seeing him.

The way she felt right now, she might actually shoot him.

If she'd had her gun with her.

Probably a good thing that she didn't.

Kate was almost back to the elevators when the doors opened. The sight of his daughter caused her to stop mid-step.

Did she know?

Kate had always liked little Castle. The young woman's level of maturity had impressed Kate from the very beginning. And the closeness the redhead shared with Castle had been one of the first things to break through Kate's carefully constructed walls.

What must she think of her now?

"Hi, Detective Beckett," Alexis greeted her with her usual friendly manner.

Kate couldn't ignore the girl, although she was tempted. She wished Alexis had waited long enough for Kate to clear the building before returning home. Alexis might mention seeing her to Castle and Martha. Castle would easily put two and two together and realize that his secret was out.

"Hi, Alexis," Kate said, knowing she'd taken a beat too long to reply. "I was going to see if your dad wanted to go catch a movie at the Angelica but I just got a call from the precinct."

Would Alexis realize that Kate would never normally explain herself to such an extent?

She hoped not.

"Oh, so Dad's-"

"No!" Kate realized her reply had been a bit too abrupt when Alexis's brows lowered in confusion. "I mean, it's paperwork. Something that needs to be corrected right away. So, I, um, I have to go."

Not wanting to give Alexis time to question her further, Kate stepped into the elevator.

Once the doors had closed, Kate let herself slip to the floor, allowing the tears she'd been fighting back for the last few minutes to finally fill her eyes.

Emotional meltdown first.

Then, starting tomorrow, she'd have to start working on a plan.

A plan to get Castle out of her life.

Permanently.