Season of Change

Disclaimer: Really, I still own nothing, just borrowing my favorite characters.

Chapter 24

Kensi returned to Deeks' room. She looked at her partner, her brow raised. She didn't say anything, just gave him that questioning stare. Deeks returned the favor, keeping quiet himself.

"Well?" Kensi finally demanded impatiently.

Deeks smirked then. "Well what?"

"Deeks," she said, irritated, "what did the doctor say?"

"I'm good to go. He's cutting me loose in the morning," he proclaimed, a smug look on his face.

She smiled, not the beautiful smile Deeks loved, but a smile nonetheless. "Good," she commented, trying not to let her frustration show.

In truth, Kensi was ready to explode. She wanted so much to unload on Deeks, she didn't know how much longer she could hold out. She needed him to know how sorry she was. How important he was to her. She glanced over her shoulder and out the window into the hall. Not seeing anyone, she turned to Deeks, readying in her mind the words to say. It was then that a nurse came bustling through the door.

"Detective Deeks, I hear you are leaving us tomorrow! Can I get you anything?" The nurse asked way too cheerily for Kensi's liking. The nurse didn't even give Kensi a glance as she stood next to Deeks.

Kensi rolled her eyes. "You've got to be kidding me," she said under her breath, glaring at the nurse's back.

After the nurse left, Kensi thought, I'm just going to get it all out. Except that didn't happen. No sooner than the nurse had left his room that Abby showed up. She stayed too long and said too much. Even though Abby and Kensi had made their peace, Abby still rubbed Kensi the wrong way with how she doted over her partner. Holding his hand, flirting shamelessly with him - which Deeks dished right back. It was enough to make her want to vomit.

The rest of the day was an endless parade of visitors, each one increasing Kensi's stress level. She swore she would end up shooting someone before the day was over if they didn't stop coming. After Abby it was another nurse. Then McGee, and then DiNozzo showed up. At least they were both as sociable to her as they were Deeks. She gave them a pass. Another nurse walked through the door. Seriously? What is it with Deeks and the nurses? It was like he had his own little harem of caregivers, she thought. She frowned, sure Deeks would just love that idea.

Bishop and her husband stopped in for a short time. At this point the tension was palpable, coming off Kensi in waves. They didn't stay long, sensing their presence was not welcome. Deeks thanked them, an apologetic look on his face as he said goodbye.

Kensi tried to start her speech again, at which time yet another nurse decided to drop in on her partner. This time Kensi had to restrain herself from unleashing a very unprofessional physical assault and string of insults at this nurse. She was young and blonde and not shy about flirting with Deeks at all. By the time she left the room Kensi was seething.

Deeks noticed the look in Kensi's eyes, the unbridled anger evident in them. Feeling sorry for her, he promised as soon as they made it to her (their) room at the hotel in the morning, they would hang the Do Not Disturb sign on the door and she could say what she had to say. Deeks was surprised she didn't balk at the offer, as patience was definitely not Kensi Blye's friend at the moment.

He told her to go spend her last free night back at the hotel. Deeks insisted he would be fine spending his last night alone in the hospital. He pointed out he had spent most of the nights by himself since he had been there anyway. She refused, blaming it on the absence of Sam and Callen to keep her company back at the hotel. Deeks wasn't buying it, but he quit trying to talk her in to leaving. If she wanted to spend the night in an uncomfortable chair at his bedside, who was he to stop her? He knew he would have done the same for her.

Early the next morning when he awoke, the first thing he noticed was something warm on his right arm. He peered down to find Kensi using his forearm as a pillow, her right hand laying on top of his. Her left hand was curled under his arm just above the elbow. He stared at the back of her head for a moment, reveling in the warmth of her breath as it drifted over his skin. She had pulled the chair right up to his bed and leaned forward, hugging his arm to her. A cocky grin grew on his face, but his eyes were filled with hurt and the current pain in his chest had nothing to do with his bullet wound or broken rib. He was feeling very conflicted right now.

Deeks took in a deep breath and released it slowly. Relaxing a little, he let his eyes close once again. It didn't take long before the detective had drifted back to sleep.

Kensi jerked awake, completely unaware of her surroundings. Then she remembered she had spent the night in Deeks' hospital room. She sat up now, her back and legs stiff from the awkward position she had fallen asleep in. She recalled holding on to Deeks as he slept, letting the steady sound of his breathing lull her to sleep.

She smiled at the memory, glad to have her partner in close proximity again. It was not the most comfortable by any means, but definitely the best night of sleep she had gotten in a week. That was when she noticed the absence of said partner. Her senses on full alert now, she felt the panic rise in her. Her eyes shot around the room in a dizzying pattern as she tried to stand.

"Deeks?" She called out worriedly, struggling to get her balance on sore legs.

When he didn't answer, her first thought was to run to the hall and holler for a nurse. That brought her back to her senses a little bit. No way she was calling for a damn nurse. She'd find her partner on her own, thank you very much. There had to be a logical explanation as to why he was no longer in bed. Right?

"Deeks!" Kensi called out again. Obviously he was not in the room, period. She ran her hands through her hair, then adjusted her pony tail. She stepped out in the hall, glancing in both directions. No Deeks. "What the hell?" She thought, getting more pissed than anything at this point. She made a lap around the third floor. Still no sign of him. She ducked back in to his room. Nope, still no Deeks.

She stepped back in the hall then pulled her phone out and checked it. No messages. She blew out a breath, scowling at her phone. She slid it back in her pocket and walked towards the nurse's station. Lovely, she thought, it was one of the flirty nurses that had thrown herself at Deeks the day before.

The nurse looked up when Kensi approached, her expression one of disdain when she realized it was the hot cop's apparent girlfriend. "Can I help you?" She asked sarcastically.

Kensi scoffed, biting her tongue. She'd really like to tell this nurse where to stick her attitude, but she controlled the urge.

"Yes, I'm looking for Detective Deeks. He is in Room 302. He's gone. Can you tell me where he is?"

The nurse flipped through a chart, checking names. "It says here he was released about an hour ago."

"Released? But, but where...uh, did somebody pick him up?" Kensi stammered, hating the look of satisfaction on the nurse's face.

The nurse just smiled at Kensi for a moment. Kensi felt the anger rising in her at this woman's clear enjoyment of her distress.

"Hey! Nurse..." Kensi focused on trying to read the name tag around the annoying excuse of a nurse's neck, "Jane, is it? Who did Deeks leave with?" Kensi demanded, her concern and confusion replaced with pure hatred for this woman standing in front of her.

Nurse Jane wasn't fazed by Kensi's quick change in demeanor. "Relax honey, your boyfriend is right behind you," she nodded over Kensi's shoulder snarkily.

Kensi spun around, content to let the nurse's jab at calling her 'honey' go so she could put eyes on Deeks. Sure enough, there he was walking up the hall with Agent Fornell. Both had coffees. She noticed that Deeks was carrying two styrofoam cups and that dangling under the one was a white bag. Suddenly her stomach growled. She hoped the bag contained what she thought it did. Quickly she forgot about that, now studying Deeks as he continued towards her. He was dressed in familiar jeans and a nice pullover shirt she'd always liked on him. He seemed to be moving fine, no struggling with pain or anything that she could tell. She just wanted to hug him at this point, but she knew now was not the time or place. That would have to come later.

"Agent Blye," Fornell nodded towards her, raising his cup of coffee in salute.

"Agent Forn...uh, Tobias," Kensi greeted with a quick grin at the man who seemed to enjoy that she remembered to use his first name. She glanced at her partner affectionately. "Hey Deeks," she nodded at him, not sure what else to say. He hadn't warmed up to her just yet, which she understood, but it still bothered her. She tried to hide that fact from him.

"Morning, Kensi," the detective smiled, but it wasn't the radiant smile he had always reserved just for her in the past. He held the hand out with the cup and bag towards her, "Here - thought you might like some breakfast."

She took the coffee in one hand and let the bag fall open in the other, peering inside to see what sweet goodness her partner had bestowed upon her. Despite the unresolved tension between them Deeks was still supplying her with her beloved donuts. The aroma wafting up out of the bag had her drooling immediately. All the awkwardness, worry, and anger she had been feeling moments before dissipated as her empty stomach took over. Adjusting the items in her hands so she could grab a donut, she took a huge bite and rolled her eyes back as she savored it. The treat was still warm and practically melted in her mouth.

"Oh my gosh, Deeks - this, oh, this is so good!" She managed somehow without choking on the half chewed dough filling her cheeks and threatening to fall out of her open mouth.

Deeks glanced at Fornell, who looked from Kensi to Deeks, his brow raised as Kensi continued to demolish the first donut.

"Good God, man, you weren't kidding," Fornell said, clearly amazed - and maybe a little frightened - at the eating machine that was Kensi Blye.

Deeks chuckled. "I told you, man, it is not safe to come between Kensi Marie Blye and her sweet tooth."

Fornell nodded, "Duly noted, detective" he smirked as he watched Kensi pull her second helping from the bag.

Kensi caught both men staring at her and she paused for a moment, half shrugging, "What?"

Both of them shook their heads and laughed, simultaneously saying "Nothing!"

She glared at them as she brought the chocolate iced cake donut to her mouth. They cringed when almost half of it disappeared in one bite.

After Kensi finished off the second donut and washed the remnants down with a gulp of coffee, the three of them chatted as they walked back to Deeks' room. Kensi retrieved her coat, Deeks said his thanks and goodbye to Dr. Isaac and his staff, who had gathered to wish the detective well - along with a request to promise to take it easy for a while. The trio took the elevator down and walked outside. Fornell went on his way while Deeks and Kensi walked to their NCIS issued car and headed for the hotel.

As they entered the room Deeks noticed right away it was a standard with a single king-size bed. No couch, just a desk and a couple chairs, along with a TV, a mini fridge and private bathroom. He felt a twinge of concern when he realized they would have to share a bed. He was far from being comfortable with that situation at the moment.

Kensi watched her partner closely, catching the dismayed expression that clouded his face when he saw just one bed. It was a fleeting look that he tried to hide, but she noticed it right away. It pained her that the thought of having to sleep in the same bed with her gave him that reaction. She had a lot of work to do.

"Abby brought your things to the hospital earlier this week. Your bag is in the closet. I hope you don't mind I went ahead and brought it here ahead of time," she confessed to him. Thankfully she had the forethought to have his clothes laundered along with hers. He wouldn't notice she had actually slept in one of his t-shirts to help relax her during the week she had spent here alone.

He nodded, offering, "Yeah, no - uh, thank you," as he walked to the desk at the far side of the room. "What's this?" Deeks pointed to a gift wrapped box.

Kensi looked confused, shrugging. "I uh, I don't know? It... it wasn't there when I left yesterday," she started glancing around the room, looking to see if there were any other surprises.

Deeks picked the box up and shook it, listening for clues as to what might be inside. He noticed the tag on it was addressed to him and had a little message added, so he tore the paper off and opened it. Seeing what was inside, he chuckled, shaking his head slowly.

"Deeks?" Kensi asked curiously, "What is it?"

He glanced at her and tipped the little box over, catching the item that fell out in his other hand. He held it up so Kensi could see it. "Hetty sent me my phone," he informed her. Holding the little tag, he continued, "She also left a message that the next time I leave home without it, a man with a knife will be the least of my worries," he pointed out.

Kensi smiled at that. She watched as Deeks pocketed his phone and started back towards her. Stepping to the side to let him pass, she turned to watch him go back to the door. Realizing what he was doing, her heart rate climbed and the smile disappeared from her face. He hadn't been joking - and why would she think he would have been? Marty Deeks was a man of his word, and he had promised. He took the Do Not Disturb sign off the inside door handle, opened the door and reached out to hang it on the outside.

Slowly, he turned around and let the door click shut. He cocked his head to the side and stared at her. His eyes clear and alert, he finally spoke just one word, "Talk," he said gently. It wasn't a command or a request, but an offer.

Kensi swallowed hard and looked away from her partner. Her eyes widened in panic and she started to feel the fear of this moment overwhelm her. The first thing that came to mind was something that she knew now was not the right time to bring up, but she led with it anyway, knowing Deeks' reaction to it would lead her in the right direction. She hoped.

"Tell me about Loreto," Kensi stated, meeting her partner's gaze again.

Deeks dropped his head and chuckled. Bringing his eyes back up to meet hers, "Really, Kensi? That is what you want to start with?"

He stood there motionless, waiting for a reply. Kensi was frozen in place, frantically trying to come up with something better to say. She had plenty of material to go over, but found that she was speechless.

"How about this? How about you tell me what you were thinking when your date punched me, Kensi, 'cause I'd really like to know what was going on in that head of yours, partner," he again emphasized their word.

Kensi almost whimpered at Deeks' suggestion and she could feel the tears building already. His demeanor was not threatening in any way, and she thought to herself that maybe if it had been this would have been so much easier. But Deeks wasn't angry, he was hurt - badly. Because of her. And the thought of that was damn near more than she could handle.

"Deeks..." she started, staring into her partner's eyes and taking a step closer to him. Seeing that he took a step back, she stopped. "I...I am... Um, I was so... I am so ashamed that I let that happen, Deeks. I will never forgive myself for letting that happen to you and for doing nothing about it," she insisted as a tear ran slowly down her cheek.

Deeks said nothing, just kept his eyes on hers as she continued, "I'm sorry for...for putting you in that position. I should have never been there. We... you and I, Deeks, we should have been on our way to Mammoth and I-"

"Would you have gone through with it, Kensi? If I hadn't confronted you, would you have spent the night with that guy?" Deeks asked, his voice barely above a whisper, his eyes searching hers for the truth. His heart was telling him if they had any chance at all at fixing this, he had to know. His head was fighting him all the way, that if this was what Kensi was going to do when she was scared or confused - to run to another man - that he needed to accept that they could be nothing more than partners. Work partners. He could not do this dancing around their thing any longer. There would be no thing.

Kensi looked like she'd taken a punch to the gut at first. She did not expect this interruption or the question. She was thankful for it, though, realization settling over her. Kensi closed her eyes, breathing deep to calm her hammering heart. She could honestly answer this question because she knew what her partner was needing to hear - and he would know if she was lying.

Opening her eyes, she once again met his, holding the look for several seconds before finally speaking. She knew before the words left her lips that he already knew the answer. They could still hold a complete conversation without ever saying a word.

"No," she said simply, shaking her head. "No, Deeks, I wouldn't have. I knew... I knew it was the wrong thing to do before I ever left the house. I was just... so confused and...and..."

"Scared," he finished for her.

She nodded slowly. Deeks was still staring deep in her eyes, studying them. His look took her breath away and her tears started to fall at an alarming rate. Kensi held his gaze, peering into the gentle, understanding, loving, forgiving ocean blue eyes of her partner.

A sudden peace flowed through her whole being. Without realizing how they ended up face to face, she fell against the man she loved more than anything in the world, losing herself in the feeling of his arms enveloping her. They had a long road ahead of them, but she was never more sure - or grateful - for one thing in her life than she was at this moment.

Marty Deeks had forgiven her.

The End?

Author's note: So we've come to the end of the line on this part of the story. As bookdiva pointed out to me, it feels like the end of something right here. Deeks' time in DC, for the most part, is over. He forgave Kensi. However, he has a new partner in crime fighting, Agent Fornell, to meet up with soon. There are still unanswered questions regarding who is after Gibbs and his team. There are still things to be worked out between Deeks and Kensi. It will be a Season of Renewal. Keep an eye out for it. Thanks to all for reading Season of Change. Special thanks to bookdiva for offering advice along the way. Many thanks to everyone who encouraged me with your kind reviews. More to come soon...