Contrary to the title, this is not a violent or action-filled one-shot. Just saying. ;) Enjoy.

Skipper turned to his youngest teammate. "Come on, Private."

The penguin folded his arms. "I'm not going."

"And why not?" Brows raised.

"Because I don't want to. And it's a waste of time. I don't even like that sport."

"Well, you're coming, because—"

"Bah. Bah. Bah. I'm not listening!" He had his flippers covering his ears and was squeezing his eyes shut and shaking his head.

Skipper resisted the urge to sigh or roll his eyes. "Oh, real mature, Private."

Private stuck his tongue out.

"Kowalski?"

"Yes, sir?"

"Why the sudden change in Private's attitude?" Skipper had that suspicious look in his eyes. This would not end well for the scientist. "What did you do to him?"

Kowalski shuffled his feet, looking anywhere but at his leader. "W-what? Me? Who said that it had something to do with me?"

Rico whistled innocently. Kowalski's eyes spoke volumes at him. I'm going to kill you once this is over, Rico.

The penguin's eyes widened. While Kowalski may not be the best fighter in the team, he sure knew how to build deadly weapons. Rico gulped, inching to stand behind Skipper and away from Kowalski's gaze.

Skipper narrowed his eyes. "I sense there's something you want to tell me, Kowalski."

"It's not my fault!" the scientist blurted out. "He just got caught in the crossfire!"

"And where, exactly, did this crossfire come from?" Skipper wasn't happy.

Slightly more than a murmur – "An invention."

"And what does this invention do?"

"Completely changes your personality."

A blink. "How does that help?"

Kowalski's eyes shone. "Imagine if we could just zap a villain and turn him nice! The world would be much less evil."

"I suppose that makes sense. Assuming that the world is truly evil."

Kowalski deadpanned.

"But what if a villain gets control of it?" Skipper continued, questioning. "All heroes would be evil! Ever thought of that?"

"I never said it was perfect, sir. That's why Private isn't completely evil yet. Just…halfway through."

"Never mind." Skipper face-flippered, sighing. "How long until we get him back to normal?"

"Give or take a few hours."

"All right then." Skipper paused, thinking. "You're staying here with Private. Keep an eye on him while Rico and I watch the game."

"But, sir!" Kowalski objected. "The game!"

"No buts, Kowalski. This was your problem, and now, I'm giving you time to come up with a solution. Take it or leave it."

"Oi! I don't need no babysitter!" Private objected.

"Double negative," Kowalski couldn't help but correct. "And you do if you're acting this way."

"Oh yeah?" challenged the boy. "Who's going to stop me from just walking out?"

"Rico?" Skipper was getting fed-up by Private's attitude. "Rope and gag, please."

Kowalski frowned. "Don't you think that's a little extreme, Skipper?"

A glare.

Kowalski closed his beak. "Yes, sir. Shutting up now."

Within minutes, Private was tied and gagged – the penguin glaring daggers at them as Kowalski waved Skipper and Rico off. The tall penguin climbed down the ladder, more than slightly unnerved by the unusual hostile expression on Private's face. "So," he began. "I'm going into my lab now. Just…do something if something goes wrong."

The glare intensity increased, if that could happen. Kowalski resisted the urge to sigh or flee to his lab. He wasn't about to let Private have the satisfaction of knowing Kowalski was uncomfortable. If Private wanted to have a staring contest, Kowalski could comply. Then again, there was that invention to be fixed, and Skipper wouldn't be happy if he came back to both of them staring at each other and no invention in sight.