Tipsy III: Forget
5drunkfics: pick your poison
Author: beyondthemoor (on LJ); moor (on this website)
Fandom: Naruto
Claim: MadaSaku (Madara x Sakura)
Genre: Crack / Non-Massacre / Modern AU
Rating: T, for now
Title: Drunk

AN: Continuing with the "5 Drunkfics" MadaSaku challenge I, uh, issued myself (?) ages ago. The list of the "5 Drunkfics" prompts is at the bottom of the story. This continues off where "Drunk" ended at the Uchiha holiday party. This story is turning into its own holiday tradition.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

3. Forget

The room was dim, with the faint hint of dawn limning the gap between the curtains and window.

It was just enough for Madara to see the feminine curve of a hip and shoulder, the delectable dip of her waist, as she lay facing him on the bed.

"Hey, you back with the land of the living?"

His heart choked him at the sound of her voice. Could it be true—

His eyes, still somewhat bleary and confused, jerked up to meet her emerald ones.

"Has anyone ever told you, you're a tiger in bed?" She winked at him.

—OMG IT WAS.

"Huh-ng-gnuh-guh-wha?"

She giggled and stroked his hair, smiling fondly down at him.

"I know. You weren't kidding when you said you'd rock my world. Baby, you had all the right moves last night. I'll never forget a single moment."

Madara's world spun. "I… I did?"

"Mmm-hmmm," she said leaning close to tuck some of his hair behind his ear. She placed a light kiss upon his cheek. "But I can't stay much longer. I need to get going."

It was then he noticed she was fully dressed, and he was… —a quick pat down under the blankets—down to his underpants?

He considered a moment.

Then beamed.

Score!

"That was an… unforgettable, magical night. Thank you, for everything, Mr Uchiha."

"It was my pleasure!"

She smiled down at him again, rising from the bed.

"You go back to sleep."

"Uh huh," he said like a good boy, tucking under his blankets and watching her pick up her bag and head for the door.

"Uh, Miss.. Um… Uh… Will I see you again?"

She winked at him, shrugging one shoulder. "Who knows?"

With no more than that, she pulled the door shut behind her with a gentle click.

In the breakfast room, Sakura sat with Itachi and Sasuke. Itachi had piled her plate full of eggs and fruit, while Sasuke had foisted toast and tea on her from her other side.

"It worked," said Itachi, still mesmerized.

"He slept through the whole night. You might want to get his prescriptions checked; they were conflicting horribly in him. It's no wonder he came across as psychotic." She sipped her tea. "Did I miss anything else after I left?"

"Not really. Genma hit on Neji when he brought Hinata over to see Naruto for a bit; that was caught on Shisui's camera, by the way, so we'll get that to you sometime later today. You'll laugh."

She grinned at Sasuke's dry appraisal of the situation, and turned to Itachi. "Anything else?

"Kakashi would like to invite you out to dinner, but is too worried you'll take it as he means it and won't accept."

She shook her head. "He said this to you?"

"No."

"Then… Never mind," she waved her toast dismissively in the air. Uchiha Itachi could keep his all-knowing air of mystery. "Plans for the day?"

Itachi and Sasuke looked at each other. "Getting a better doctor for Madara, I guess. It's just difficult to find one who'll make house calls when he has such a colourful history. Most will only agree to meet with him in an institution, and even then, sedated and restrained. If… I must be crazy to say this, but, if he has really been this unbalanced due to medication conflict, then maybe the crazy-hole does need a second opinion."

Sakura leaned forward on her elbows, stretching her back a bit. It had been a long night, monitoring a drunk patient who showed signs of both prescription drug overdose and withdrawal. She hadn't slept a wink. Her back was killing her, and she was truly exhausted from having had more than a bit to drink herself.

She gratefully accepted the pair of extra-strength Tylenol Itachi slipped onto her napkin.

"Thank you."

He shook his head. "Thank you. We had no idea that Madara's medication had been damaging him so thoroughly."

"Honestly, any doctor worth their salt would have realized it upon seeing the cocktails' components. It's a wonder he's alive. The man must have a fierce will to live. And he's been like this since before Sasuke was born?"

"He was a very demanding, but charismatic child. Incredibly intelligent. There were great expectations on him as he grew up. Then, he attacked Sasuke…"

Sakura nodded at Itachi. "Well, if you really run into trouble just finding anyone to come out, gimme a ring. I'll be out for the afternoon and early evening, but," she shrugged her shoulders. "It isn't like I have family to see to."

She finished the last of her tea. "Anyway, thank you for breakfast, and I hope your… relative…" Was Madara their cousin? Uncle? Whatever. "Feels better soon."

"You'll be back this evening?"

"If you need me," said Sakura. "Otherwise, I'll just have to find my key. I haven't checked out my parents' old place in almost a year. Or my condo. Ino said her family were heading in once in a while to make sure things were okay but... Crap, I bet there's a mountain of junk mail at both." She sighed. "Well, maybe see if Madara would like to go out for a short walk at a nearby park? Or perhaps somewhere with few people, until he gets his balance back. Gentle exercise would help him a great deal, as would being outdoors. Keep the stressors to a minimum. Anyway, Merry Christmas, Uchiha."

"Merry Christmas, Sakura."

"Merry Christmas, Sakura. Our door's open to you, always."

"Thanks," she smiled at them both. "See you later."

After checking out her condo—setting the thermostat just a touch higher than chillblained-arse-of-death—Sakura gave it a cursory once over. With her list of supplies and errands drafted, she collected her 'car' (and screw Sasuke for refusing to ride in it, it was a perfectly safe retired military convoy truck… that she'd dubbed 'Princess') and set out to her parents' former home.

Yes, she should have sold the place when her parents first passed away. Of course it needed more attention than she could give it. Internally groaning about the cost of maintaining it on her salary, yes, she could admit she may have been keeping it out of sentimental value rather than logic… but as she pulled up the long, tree-shaded drive in the deeply forested country, spotting its red roof peeking over the canopy of branches, she felt her heart and shoulders relax and breathed just a little easier.

The rolling lawns behind it, the carriage house garage, the orchard over the hill, the secret tunnels and passageways between the buildings, the attic which opened up into a giant play area which she'd loved to explore as a child… it called to her in the most longing, almost intimate sense of homecoming.

Even if she was coming home alone.

—Until her eyes sharpened as she spotted a shiny new BMW parked by the rear entrance.

Well, perhaps she wasn't as alone as she'd been expecting.

With a squeal of tires on the cobblestone parking square, Sakura parked and ripped the keys from the engine. Anxiety and anger (and perhaps the sleep deprivation contributed to both, just a tad) mounting, she rooted around in the tool bag she kept under the passenger seat. Like most princesses, hers was high maintenance.

Sakura's booted feet hit the hard ground with a deliberate stomp. She slammed the door with a satisfying crash.

"And my torque wrench bring all the boys to the yard," she growled, stalking towards the intruders and spinning the wrench in her hand.

If it was that damn realtor around to piss her off again, so help her that Bimmer was getting a nose job.

At the sound of a harsh door slamming from the other side of the building, Sasuke and Itachi looked around.

Itachi spoke first. "You did let her know we were coming out to meet her, correct?"

Sasuke looked up at his brother. "I thought you texted her."

As one, their eyes met.

"Shi—" Sasuke was already running towards their father's car.

"Wait… Why is Sasuke running? I thought we came out to walk around and get some fresh air. Is Sasuke racing us?"

Itachi turned unhurriedly to meet Madara's furrowed brow, his face calm. "Ah. Sasuke went to greet the owner to remind them we'd be here for the afternoon."

As Madara nodded slowly, Itachi stood and waited for Madara's more gradual pace to catch up to him.

"We should go introduce ourselves and thank them for letting us enjoy their property," said Madara. His head tilted as he regarded Itachi. "That would be proper. Don't you think?"

"Let's wait for Sasuke to get back, first. Perhaps the owner has other business to attend to, first."

"Ah. Hn," said Madara.

Itachi eyed his relative. "How do you feel?"

"... A bit dizzy at times. A bit sick at others. But my head is clearing. Do you have more water?"

Itachi handed him a bottle, which Madara accepted with a nod of thanks.

"It is very peaceful here," said Madara. "At the family home, things are… tense. I prefer being here."

Itachi glanced around them, at the Haruno's family estate. "Ah. Sasuke has known the proprietor for some time. He has permission to visit at his leisure. We are very fortunate to be afforded the same courtesy." Hopefully.

Madara took a deep breath, held it and let it out slowly. Then his eyes shot open and his head twisted eerily to face the driveway side of the house.

"She's here," he breathed. His long, wild hair frissonned yet he stood still as a pointer dog on a scent.

"Who's here?" asked Itachi. His eyes flickered between Madara and the direction Madara was looking.

"My goddess of light," said Madara, with near-glowing eyes.

Without another word he swanned past Itachi and strode in the direction of the driveway, every footfall purposeful and stretching the distance between himself and his keeper.

"Madara, we shouldn't intrude on Sasuke's conversation," said Itachi, jogging to catch up to Madara. Not panicking, not panicking, not panic—

"She's here. She's here. She's come for me," said Madara, trotting into a run.

Itachi's blood pressure spiked. Screw peace and tranquility, the man could still be a deranged monster.

"She isn't your goddess of light, she's a medic."

"She is the most perfect being in creation—I will not have you slander her in my presence!"

"Madara, I'm not slandering her. I think it would—mph!" Itachi's eyes narrowed and his face pinched as Madara bit the hand with which Itachi reached for him.

Lips pressing together, Itachi lost his patience. He grabbed Madara by the hair and yanked on it, hard, whipping the other man around until they were face to face.

"Heel. Down mutt," Itachi said, his voice low and even. His dark eyes flashed as they met Madara's, his hands tightening in his relative's wild mane.

Madara's eyes were bloodshot and shiny, until they slowly focused in on Itachi. "Grrrrrrr…."

Itachi let out a low sigh. "If you behave, we will see if she is amenable to joining us for tea."

His face brightening, Madara's brows lifted with hope. "Nnnnnngghhhh!"

"If you do not behave, you will enjoy the four walls of your 'suite' for the remainder of the century. Uninterrupted."

Madara glared at Itachi a moment before nodding.

"Now, are you ready to be a gentleman?" asked Itachi.

"To my angel, always."

"... this is the same woman you offered yourself up to for, I believe you said, 'rogering you senseless into the carpet'."

"To be honest and technical, she did not object to that offer."

"Because you had just thrown up all over yourself. Magnificently. Due to a prescription drug cocktail overdose."

"There is that."

"Itachi? Madara?"

The pair looked up at Sakura and Sasuke as they rounded the corner, Sakura looking relieved and happy.

—until she flushed a bit, and gave a nervous laugh when Madara remarked, "That is a lovely torque wrench you're holding."

"Ah, thank… you," she said, blushing.

"Do you need someone to talk to? I'm a good listener."

"... that's kind of you to offer. I appreciate that, Madara. I deal with my problems quite directly, though."

Madara blinked once, slowly, before his face took on a fierce intensity with which he regarded Sakura. His voice turned serious. "I do, too."

Itachi didn't miss the look of horror on Sasuke's face as the two of them suddenly came to the same devastating realization that Madara and Sakura actually had common ground: a shared propensity towards Ultraviolent Problem Resolution.

"Itachi," said Sasuke, his voice a brittle whisper.

"I know," Itachi murmured.

They swallowed.

"What kinds of things do you like to do, Madara?"

The man in question had not taken his eyes off Sakura since they had reunited outside, and now enjoyed a warm cup of tea inside the large, stone-floored kitchen of the country manor.

Sasuke and Itachi tensed.

"Reading," said Madara in answer to Sakura's question. "And…" His gaze went hazy for a moment. "I used to enjoy attending school. It has been some time, though."

"Did you complete high school, or any university-level courses? What are you interested in?" She smiled warmly at him.

"I…"

Sakura nodded at him. "Yes?"

"I…"

Madara's brow flickered, his mouth opening and closing. "I… don't remember," he said, quietly. His eyes dropped down to the cup of steaming tea in his hands, and his shoulders slumped.

Across from him Sakura paused, glancing at Itachi and Sasuke who gave her apologetic looks.

"Would you like to get your education, maybe take some university or college courses, see where your new interests may lie?" She asked.

"I don't know. Perhaps. It would be a significant change, and challenge," he admitted.

"You wouldn't be doing it on your own, though! We'll be here to help! I promise." She reached across the table and clasped her small hands around his. "Even if we're away on duty, we can still check in with you and help answer questions."

Sasuke was looking at Sakura aghast, as Itachi rubbed his chest above his heart. Possibly trying to restart it beating again.

"Education is important? To you?"

"Absolutely," she grinned at him, giving his hands a squeeze. "I was lucky my mentor, and my… family… were so supportive of me getting my education. It has given me something to strive for, to take pride in, and a way by which to help others."

Lifting his gaze from his cup, to their hands, and finally up to meet her eyes again, Madara tilted his head. "Your family?"

"Madara—" began Sasuke in a warning tone, but Sakura lifted one of her hands from Madara's and waved Sasuke's concerns off.

"It's okay, Sasuke. But thanks," she smiled at him. Turning back to Madara, her smile was slightly dimmer, a touch false. "My family have all passed away. This house was the Clan homestead for generations. It passed to me. I… am not around much, and normally need to be closer to the city to be available to assist at the military hospital when I'm in Konoha. This house sits alone now." She shrugged. "Not much I can do about that. Sasuke comes to look after it when he can. And another of my friends, too. She and her family occasionally use the greenhouses in winter."

"There are greenhouses?"

Sakura nodded at Madara. Lifting her still-free hand, she counted off on her fingers. "Yep. Carriage house, which you probably saw on your drive in. Three greenhouses, though one is mostly a potting shed, but it is glass. We had a few other outbuildings—which had different uses over time. I think there may have been a dowager house on the property at one point, but I haven't actually inspected the acreage and holdings since it all funnelled down to me. When I was young I was restricted to the immediate grounds. After that… I wasn't around much."

"Has the real estate agent still been trying to bring offers to you?" asked Itachi.

Sasuke snorted.

Sakura's eyes narrowed and she let out a low huff; immediately Madara was reaching his hand out to take hers, and squeeze it.

"After I had to remove them as self-proclaimed 'property managers' from the agreement, I had hoped they'd learned to stay away. I still catch them here on occasion. I don't know what they're trying to pull. I can't afford a security presence, though. I just chase them off if I run across them." She pressed her lips together, her emerald eyes fierce and hard beneath her bangs. "They just want the commission from the sale; but I would never go through them. They tried to cheat my parents, and me, while my parents were hospitalized. If I had the money to sue them…"

Her shoulders had tensed and risen nearly to her shoulders, and Madara watched with a furrowed brow as she let out a low breath. He continued patting her hand and wrist, listening intently.

"Would it help if you had someone here?" He asked.

Behind Madara, Sasuke turned to look at Itachi, but Itachi was watching Madara.

Sakura shrugged. "I don't have the time or money to fix up what needs to be done to make it worth renting. And… I just can't bring myself to sell it."

"What if… I… were to help? I am good with my hands."

Sakura frowned at Sasuke's choking noise.

"You need to focus on getting yourself well and getting used to who you really are without the haze of too much medicine," she said. "But thank you for the offer."

"What if I did that here, though?"

It was Sakura's turn to tilt her head.

"But… I don't think you're quite ready to be living on your own, yet," she began gently, but he shook his head.

"You could stay here with me when you were in town; and otherwise, I will make arrangements to come out with friends who can stay with me, or just bring me out and take me home again at the end of the day."

"Friends?" asked Sasuke, his hands clenching and unclenching spastically in the fabric of his dark suit trousers.

"He has several friends. From his online communities," confirmed Itachi, reluctantly.

"We play WOW together," explained Madara.

Sakura blinked.

"I play WOW, too. What server?"

Madara's eyes widened. And took on a sudden, unholy gleam.

In his lap, Sasuke's hands paled and trembled.

In the hallway outside the kitchen, Itachi cornered his brother.

"You need to calm down."

Sasuke's eyes shot up to his brother's, his jaw clenched.

"You need to calm down, Sasuke."

"This… them meeting like this… This kind of camaraderie. There must be a hellmouth nearby."

Itachi sighed.

By the end of the afternoon, Sasuke's fingernails had been bitten to the quick, Itachi had decided that he would indeed be asking for time away from his family once his parents returned, and Madara and Sakura had formed an unusually close-knit bond over their shared interest in weaponry and violent MMORPG videogames.

"Shall we meet again tomorrow morning? We can explore the rest of the house, and make some preliminary plans for the immediate repairs and renovations that are needed."

Sakura smiled at Madara and his enthusiasm. "As much as I'd love to, I just don't have the funds to do so, Madara."

"Then I will use my money."

Her brow twitching, Sakura waved him off. "I couldn't ask you to—"

"I'm offering."

"And it would make me uncomfortable to be in your—"

"It isn't a debt; I'd hope to be living here as a caretaker at times and to supervise any reconstruction I couldn't do myself."

Sakura took a breath. "But you wouldn't be able to do it on your own, which is why—"

"I have friends. I told you. I really do. Itachi can vouch for them being real."

Said-Uchiha lowered his hand from where it had been massaging his temple. "They… exist."

"See!" Madara beamed at Sakura and puffed out his chest.

"This would be too much of an investment, Madara… I'm sorry, I can't… I know you're offering, but this… I…" Sakura stumbled over her words, and paused to take a deep breath to ground herself.

"Why are you so invested in this?" She asked as they stood in the main entry foyer. It was a wide, high ceilinged room with rich, dark wood floors, a staircase spiralling up to the right, and cast iron hot-water heating pipes (which she'd bled upon arrival to help the built-up air escape) ribbing along the outer walls. The floors had seen better days, and the walls could use a fresh coat of paint; some of heating pipes could probably do with a sand-blasting and a fresh coat of paint, too...

"Because I like it here. It is peaceful. I would have lots of room. It means the world to you. I want you to be happy. Many, many reasons."

"And he wants to get out from under our parents' watchful eye," muttered Sasuke.

"Shut your whore mouth, Saucy-pants," said Madara, his voice quiet and remorselessly cheerful.

Itachi sighed.

"But yes, he's right. I don't want to be a prisoner anymore."

Sakura's brow arched. "So you want to stay here instead?"

"I can take care of myself."

Sakura sighed.

They were silent a moment as Sakura hummed and hawed (internally), her brow furrowing as she held Madara's gaze.

The Uchiha brothers held their breath, as Madara's eyes glowed.

No, really. Glowed.

Several days later

Sasuke and Itachi sat silently in Itachi's car, watching the gang of motley individuals decked out in a variety of pseudo-safety equipment as they surrounded the Haruno manor house.

"They're not here to loot it," said Itachi, gently putting his hand over Sasuke's as the younger Uchiha typed 9-1-1 into his mobile phone.

"They're… they're hooligans, Itachi. They can't be legit."

From the one who had so many tattoos—but only down one side of his face and body—they turned his pale skin nearly black on one side, his hair neon-green, to the man who looked like he'd been stitched back together again more than once, and the albino who was—

—Sasuke paled, and even Itachi winced at the man's language.

"These are Madara's friends."

Sasuke stared at Itachi.

"They are… legitimate. People. Mostly."

Sasuke's stare shifted to a glare.

"Kisame isn't so bad," Itachi added.

"Which one is that?" Sasuke's face was tight as he tried to remember his brother's previous mentions of his 'colleague' Kisame. He'd hesitated before saying 'colleague', which made Sasuke just a smidge suspicious of how his brother knew the man.

Itachi straightened his tie, checking the reflection in the car's rearview mirror before he spoke. "The one with the gills tattooed down his throat."

The party broke for lunch, and they gathered around a large oak table in the dining room. It was quite the sight, with the punks, criminals and social outcasts (and Uchiha) joining Sakura in the midst of the decaying splendour.

A bit aside from the rest of his raucous friends, Sakura leaned over to Madara."How are you feeling? Is this too much activity?" she asked, her lips brushing warmth across his ear.

He turned to her, their cheeks nearly touching. "I think a walk after lunch would be a good idea. Can I count on you to keep an eye on me?"

He tilted his head back, just enough for their eyes to meet, and Sakura fought her blush, instead arching a brow at his audacity.

"Do you need a caregiver? Or a sitter?"

He smirked. "I need whatever you'll give me, Goddess."

"Oy! No canoodling at the table!" Kisame hollered, and followed with a bellowing laugh as Sakura did flush.

"You fucker, you know you're supposed to share with your fucking friends! Asswipe! When can I have a go at your girlfr—acccck!"

"Excuse me," said Madara to Sakura, still watching her while his hand tightened around Hidan's throat.

"Of course," she said through her teeth.

His voice pleasant and even, Madara turned to his friend. "Hidan? That is not how you speak to a goddess. Let's have a chat about how we show our manners to a lady. Outside. Where your blood soak into the carpet."

"Or the hardwood underneath," grumbled Sakura, to which several of Madara's friends cat-called support. Or suggestions.

From the other side of Sakura, Sasuke's eyes flicked to his brother. "Itachi…." he murmured. He stilled his hands atop the table's surface.

"Hn?"

Sasuke scowled at Itachi as he took a sip of tea. "Doesn't this concern you?"

"Not… overly so."

Sasuke's lips pinched so tightly they went white.

"He defended Sakura, he corrected an inappropriate response towards someone he cared about, and he took it outside where it would no longer affect those at the table. He is showing remarkable restraint, when you think about it," said Itachi.

From outside came muffled shouting, a cascade of expletives, and muted sounds of a scuffle.

"—you dick! Ow, ow, ow, fine! Just let go of my—"

Sasuke paled while Sakura smiled at her guests. "So, I understand you met while gaming? Is there a particular server you play on?"

"—cking asshole! That was my collarbone, it only just healed—not the kidneys again, ah! Ah, oh my god, yes, yes, yes! Right there! Hit 'em harder! Oh gods, yes!"

Sasuke closed his eyes, slid his face into his palm and rested his elbow on the table.

Leaning forward into the conversation, Deidara grinned and replied to Sakura. "Oh yeah, it was on Hidan's server. He's really good at mods and stuff, yeah."

"—you cunt! Why did you stop! Oh god, that hurt, oh yes, yes, the ribs, right there! Fuck, I've missed you, too, you violent, crazy—Ow! Oh yeah!"

Even Itachi lowered his cup at that, and glanced at his brother in sympathy.

"I think Madara had mentioned he enjoyed gaming with you all. When I have free time, I try to make it on, too. May I ask the name of Hidan's server? Maybe I'll join you," said Sakura, smiling at them.

A final cry of release sounded from outside; Sasuke's shoulders shuddered, but no one else appeared to notice.

"Autoeroticdafé."

Sakura blinked as she looked to Sasori. Then back to Deidara.

"It's like a combination of 'auto-erotic' and 'autodafé'. Like, pleasuring yourself, and 'purification through pain'—" Deidara held up his hands like balances, and Sakura nodded, through her face stifled a grimace.

"Yes, I get it," she said, holding up a hand to halt Deidara from going any further.

The room quieted a moment, unsure if they had perhaps weirded their host out a bit more than Madara had given them permission to.

But Sakura surprised them all as she shook her head, and said, "It suits him."

Given permission to proceed by her tacit acceptance, the others laughed.

There came a final whoomp from outside, then the sound of the door opening, closing, the tap running, and Madara returning to join them once more at the table. His shirt was neatly tucked in once more, though now liberally splattered with blood on the right hand side from his chest to his stomach.

"Did I miss anything?"

"Just telling Sakura about how we met."

"Ah," said Madara, nodding and scooting his chair an inch closer to Sakura and giving her a small smile.

"And how did you two meet?" Asked Sasori, his strange golden eyes passing from Madara to Sakura and back again.

"At the Uchiha family Christmas party," said Sakura.

Madara nodded. He leaned forward, resting his chin on his hands, his elbows propped up on the table. His posture relaxed, he glanced at Sasuke, brow furrowed. "Why does he look so defeated?"

Sakura shrugged. "Who knows?"

"So you two hit it off, yeah?"

Sakura smirked and glanced at Madara, amusement glinting in her eyes. "He impressed me from the first moment I saw him," she said, winking at Madara.

"Oh gods," muttered Sasuke from beside Sakura. His shoulders shivered.

"And you, Madara? Were you as taken with her?"

"Of course. Who wouldn't be?"

"Don't answer that, any of you, if you want to live," croaked Sasuke.

They laughed as Sakura half-heartedly smacked Sasuke's shoulder.

"But seriously, 'dara, how'd you two meet?"

Madara's expression drifted from content to distant, to confused.

Around them, the room quieted and watched in anticipation.

"... I forget."

To Be Continued...

AN: The full list of prompts:

1. Tipsy

2. Drunk

3. Forget

4. Confessions **Next up!**

5. Mistakes