Hello human beings! I have (somewhat) returned! I will be attempting to update a few things while I have my sanity, so bear with me-I'll have at least one other thing out before April(I hope). No idea why people even want me to write-I can't even make it all the way through one of my own stories- but whatever! Warnings- yuri(girlxgirl), smex, little bit of kink, some language. This chapter is UnoIsa. Enjoy!

"Unohana-taichou?"

Unohana looked up from her paperwork, mildly surprised when she saw who had called her. "Yoruichi-san, to what do I owe the pleasure?" Yoruichi grinned and dropped down onto Unohana's couch. "Oh, just wanted to drop by and say hi. I was in the area-well, you saw me in the captain's meeting just now-and I wanted to ask you something." Unohana titled her head to the side, face remaining neutral. "Hmm, curious. Well, I will indulge your curiosity...if, and only if, you tell me why a Captain like Soi Fon would suddenly miss a meeting."

Yoruichi grinned and threw her hands up in mock sheepishness. "Ah, caught. Doesn't matter. She'll be fine in a bit, I just...wore her out. How's your lieutenant?" Yoruichi shot back. "Isane is perfectly fine, thank you for your concern," Unohana said coolly, fixing Yoruichi with a solid gaze. Yoruichi backed off, stretching her arms up and flashing to the door. "Alright, alright. I suppose I'll just cut to the case, then-how about a race? You're one of the only ones who's ever come close to catching me." Unohana sighed, setting the papers down. "Yoruichi-san, I don't have the time right now. Perhaps tomorrow?"

Yoruichi let out an exaggerated sigh, then paused. She sniffed the air, stepped out into the hallway, and grinned at someone Unohana couldn't see. "But Unohana-taichou, there's a special prize at the end of this race, and I think you'll really like it." Yoruichi purred, eyes glinting. Unohana stood slowly, giving Yourichi a wary stare. "Yoruichi...don't start a game. What is this prize?" Yoruichi took another step into the hall and flashed a smile. "Your lieutenant." She vanished and Unohana heard a cackle from outside. "Yoruichi Shihouin!" Unohana said, flashing out the window.

"Oh, she's gotten faster, hasn't she?" Yoruichi cackled to a rather confused Isane. "Y-Yoruichi-san? Wha...what are you...guh..." Yoruichi raised an eyebrow as Isane covered her mouth with a hand, turning a bit green. "What I mean...is, guh-why are-" Yoruichi ground to a stop, cutting Isane off. She froze, tilting her head around to listen, then vanished. Isane started, looking around to make sure the captain was gone. "What is going on? This reminds me of when Captain Soi Fon..." Isane trailed off, letting out a sigh. "It seems those two enjoy tormenting you, my poor fuku-taichou."

Isane jumped in shock, one hand flying to her zanpaktou before she recognized the voice. "U-Unohana-taichou! Geez, please don't do that again...you scared me half to death." Unohana smiled. "Isane, come here," Unohana extended a hand to her lieutenant, who took it rather sheepishly. Unohana quickly flashed over to the roof of her office, then down through the window, keeping a firm grip on Isane's hand. "There. Away from Yourichi and her madness," Unohana sighed. Isane agreed, slowly rubbing her stomach to calm the nausea that came from being flash-stepping around so much.

"Ano...taichou, how did you know where I was? And why did Yoruichi-taichou suddenly run off?" Isane said, tilting her head in confusion. "Ah, that's not important. I'm guessing she just caught a wiff of Soi Fon-taichou and decided it wasn't worth wasting time to annoy me." "Annoy you, taichou?" Isane said, curious now. Unohana caught herself, then chuckled. "Yes. I suppose taking away one's lieutenant and lover would be bothersome, wouldn't it?" Isane flushed a dark red at the word "lover", tearing her gaze from Unohana. "Uh, r-right. A-anyways, taichou, um, I guess I'll just...go finish my paperwork..."

Isane bowed and turned to leave, only making it two steps before her robe was tugged on from behind. "Isane, would you rather stay and...help me for a while?" Unohana said suggestively, giving her lieutenant a peck on the cheek. "U-uh h-h-hai! Of course, taichou..." Unohana smiled, guiding Isane over to her desk and sitting her down behind it. "You fill these out, and I'll make some tea for us, ne?" Isane nodded numbly, turning to the looming stacks of work. She picked up a pen and was halfway through the first page before realization hit her like a brick.

"O-oi! Unohana-taichou! This is supposed to be your paperwork! I've got my own to do! Wh-wh-" Isane froze, suddenly remembering that this was her captain...and her partner. "Eh, no, I didn't mean...I mean, it's not as effective if I-because we need to turn it all in, and..." Isane gestured in panic as Unohana just began to giggle. "My my, Isane, I have to say I wasn't expecting that. True, though, I should be doing that paperwork, but...well, my hands are all cramped and sore from last night, and I just wanted to take a little break..." Isane flushed red again, avoiding that captain's gaze.

"A-and who's fault is it th-that your fingers are sore?! Geez, you could've just asked me nicely...I would've done it anyways...playing tricks is mean, Unohana-taichou..." Isane muttered, fiddling with her hands. Unohana set her tea down, standing slowly. "Alright, I'm sorry if I upset you, Isane. But I was just feeling a little...excited." Isane shivered as Unohana whispered the last word, having come to perch on the edge f the desk. "E-excited? Why?"

Unohana smirked. Yes, smirked. "Well, remember when you came in drunk that night and got...carried away? I just remembered what I decided I would do to punish you..." Isane's mouth suddenly grew dry as she recalled the night in question, and she quickly pushed the chair back and stood. "W-well, taichou, we have s-so much paperwork, we should really just-" Unohana reached for her chin and cut her off with a kiss, short but sweet. "Sit down, Isane." The taller girl sank back into her chair, a sense of ominousness hanging over her. "U-Unohana-t-taichou, we r-really should do th-this paperwork..." Isane cowered, leaning back into the chair as Unohana stepped between her legs.

"Mou, Isane, you're always so formal with me, aren't you? I don't know why you can't seem to bring yourself to call me by my first name, but...I'm tired of it now," Unohana said, placing her hands on Isane's wrists. "You will not leave this room-no, this chair-until you've called me Retsu." Isane started as she felt chains coil around her wrists and up her arms, connecting behind her shoulders. "Wh-what?!" Isane stammered, tugging her arms before looking at the captain incredulously.

"Unohana-taichou, may I come in? I've got some paperwork for you!" Rangiku heard a soft yes and nudged the door open, careful not to unbalance the mass of work in her arms. "So, where can I put-" Rangiku froze as she saw Unohana sitting calmly on Isane, who was still in the chair, agitated overall. "Yes, Rangiku-kun?" Unohana said, expression completely natural. Rangiku took one look at Isane's flushed face and collapsed into a fit of laughter. Isane grumbled, sinking down behind the captain as Rangiku howled, hitting the wall with her fist. "Oh, oh, oh, oh man, Isane!" Rangiku burst into a new set of giggles when she saw her friend's expression.

"Oh, you're in the doghouse, aren't you? What did you do?" Rangiku pried, wiping away the tears of mirth. Isane scowled, turning her head to the side. I'm just glad she can't see that chains, Isane thought with sheer relief. Unohana bit back a smile as Rangiku prodded Isane over and over for details, but eventually sent the mischievous lieutenant on her way. Isane relaxed some after Rangiku left, still uncomfortably red in the face. "Taichou, please…can we just-" Unohana silenced her with a quick peck to the lips, keeping their faces close with a hand in Isane's collar. "I am perfectly comfortable sleeping like this, Isane. There are no meetings for a while and I ate rather recently, so the real question is how long you want to sit here." Isane gawked at her captain. She knew she wasn't kidding, but the absurdity of the situation was really starting to irk her.

"Fine! Ok, ok, ok. You win, taichou," Isane muttered, dropping her head onto Unohana's shoulder. Unohana smiled, patting Isane on the head and watching her ears turn red as she took a deep breath. "…R…R-Re…Ret…tsu…" Isane choked out, awkwardly tugging at her bound arms while trying to remain still. "Hmmm?" Unohana whispered, toying with Isane's hair pieces. "M-mou…R-Re…t...tsu…g-g-geez, there…" Isane stammered, trembling. "Hai hai, very good. Now," Unohana said, raising Isane's head up by the chin, "Look at me and say it." Isane turned a dark crimson, staring at the captain with wide eyes. "I-I-I-I-I c-c-can't, I j-j-just-" Isane whimpered, looking at the captain pleadingly. Unohana giggled, satisfied.

"Ah, alright. You have earned your freedom." Unohana dissolved the kido chains with a wave, giving Isane a peck on the cheek. "Finally…" Isane sighed, making to stand but being stopped by a hand on her shoulder. "You earned freedom from the chains, but…why don't I give you a little…reward…first." Isane stiffened as Unohana slid her Zanpaktou to the side and trailed her fingers up the side of Isane's thigh. "T-t-taichou…we're in y-your office…" Isane murmured, shifting uncomfortably in the chair as Unohana crouched before her. "…yes, true, and someone could walk in…but they can't see me under the desk, and if you make no noise, no one will ever know I'm here, correct?" Isane whined a bit, gripping the sides of the chair. "Besides…you're too wound up to wait, aren't you?" Unohana guessed, fingering the edge of Isane's shihakusho. Isane's flush immediately ran down her cheeks to her neck as she sat straight up, mouth open to make some sort of protest.

When no words came out, Isane slumped back, looking away from the captain. "Taichou…you're j-just being cruel now…" Isane inhaled sharply when Unohana's fingers suddenly found their way under the damp patch of hair, pressing firmly. "No, not yet…I haven't properly started with you tonight…" Isane let out a whimpering moan as Unohana's fingers began sliding in, fingers turning white on the chair arms. "K-kami…mmm, th…d-doo…r…" The lieutenant let out a gasp as Unohana curled her fingers, causing her legs to tremor. "What was that, Isane?" Unohana murmured, towering over the lust-hazy Isane, who reached one hand up to fist the captain's sleeve. "N-n-noth…ing-" Isane clamped her mouth shut as the captain trailed kisses up her neck, threading her free hand into Isane's hair. "Good. Don't want any distractions…especially when I went through all the trouble of making sure you didn't notice that I locked the door."

What? An update, you say! Perish the thought! I just…wrote something…on a story…I'm working on…and pressed the big button that said "Post new chapter"…oh shit. Welp, that happened. Don't get used to it, my yuri tanks are running low and the normal fuel doesn't seem to effective anymore. Hope you enjoyed, plz comments. All (helpful/constructive) criticism is appreciated.